Of Honey and Clementines
by Bard of Heart
Summary: It was funny, the power a simple Christmas orange had on a person's heart.
1. Chapter 1

**Yay it's finally here!~**

**Okay. Before I begin, I want to point out a few warnings.**

**_Rating:_ M for explicit language and sexual content (but I'm sure most of you won't mind or already knew that). **  
><strong><em>Genre(s)<em>: Romance, Angst / Humanstuck, AU story with references to canon story**  
><strong><em>Pairing<em>: Sollux/Eridan**  
><strong><em>Warnings<em>: may be extremely disturbing to some, especially in these first few chapters. Also, this is _going to be a longfic._ Development will be slow and I will be taking my time with this piece. If you're here for just the smut, you probably shouldn't read it!**

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><p><strong>EDIT:: -REGARDING TRIGGERS-<strong>

**I'm going to isolate this because it wasn't clear to some people. _THERE ARE TRIGGERS IN THIS PIECE._ As in OFFENSIVE MATERIAL that may DISTURB SOME PEOPLE. I have already been attacked anonymously because of this piece on tumblr, and I won't go into detail. I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough. _Read at your own risk. _This is the last time I am saying this.**

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><p><strong>Obviously all characters and Homestuck belongs to the Huss of Lip, yadda yadda yadda. <strong>

**Regarding fanart: I totally appreciate any and all fanart! Please let me know if you draw any, because I'll be sure to post it on my tumblr page under the #OHAC tag so everyone can see your awesome work. I'll be sure to credit you and link to your deviantart page, tumblr, or anything you'd like. **

**Now I'll shut my mouth and allow you lovelies to read. I hope you enjoy! :3**

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><p>[Chapter 1]<p>

**Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR. You are FOUR YEARS OLD. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You love ANIMALS, particularly BEES, even though it is TECHNICALLY NOT AN ANIMAL. In fact, you own a stuffed bee that your MOM gave to you after your DAD PASSED AWAY. Even though you HARDLY REMEMBER HIM, you know he was a good man because your mother keeps pictures of him all over the house. For no real reason you love the color YELLOW. You enjoy messing around with your mother's LAPTOP. You have even watched her use MICROSOFT WORD, which she uses for SERIOUS BUSINESS that calls for a lot of BUSINESS TRIPS. Often times, this leaves you in the care of YOUR OVERLY-DOTING UNCLE.**

"Uncle?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Um, why are you touching me?"

"I'm checking for bug bites, sweetheart. Oh! It's your turn to move your chess piece."

You move your chess piece, just like your uncle said. You are too young to know why your uncle touches the inside of your legs, or why he cups his hand over your private parts. Of course not; to your four year old mind there is nothing wrong. Your uncle's not hurting you.

So when it's time to go home, and your uncle kneels in front of you to give you a big kiss on your cheek, you don't question him when he tells you not to tell your mommy that he was checking for bugbites. This is perfectly acceptable to you.

**You are SEVEN YEARS OLD. You still love ANIMALS, especially BEES, even though they are STILL NOT TECHNICALLY ANIMALS. Your mom took you to the ZOO for your birthday, and now you love it there. However, after that her business trips became LONGER and MORE FREQUENT. Again, you are put in the care of your UNCLE.**

You are on the way to the zoo, because you told your uncle how much you love it there. While your uncle drives on the highway, he asks you to unbuckle your belt. Confused, you reach for your seatbelt, but your uncle stops you and points at your pants.

"Take off your pants please, my dear."

You pause, and your eyebrows crease, shifting the pair of glasses that rest on your face.

"But people might see my private parts," you say, somewhat distressed as you look out the window at the cars passing by you.

It is at that moment that your uncle strikes you for the first time.

"Your mother left me in charge, so you will do what I say," your uncle says meanly as you start to cry. You don't know why your uncle hit you. You don't understand, so you cry and cry as your cheek starts to burn where you were slapped.

This goes on for a long time before you stop crying.

"Sollux?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

Your uncle's nice voice comes back and you calm down a little more.

"…Yeah."

"You know I love you, right?"

Sniffle.

"Y-Yeah."

Your uncle's warm fingers brush your cheek, then trail down your chest and to your leg, where he gently strokes the denim over your privates with his pinky.

"I love you more than anything in the whole world," your uncle says. You sniffle and hang your head as he unbuckles your belt and unbuttons your jeans. He puts his hand into your bee-printed underwear and touches your privates directly for the first time. This is brand new to you. "Isn't that right, honey? You know I love you so very much. More than anyone…"

"I love you too," you say, wiping the last of the snot from your little nose. "Sorry I didn't do what you said…"

"It's okay, sweetie. It's okay because I love you very much. Just relax and let uncle make you feel all better. In fact, we don't have to tell your mother about this little accident at all…"

**You are TEN YEARS OLD. You begin to realize that hugging your stuffed bee DOESN'T SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS, especially since it doesn't bring your mother home from BUSINESS TRIPS. You also begin to realize that what your uncle does to you is kind of WEIRD, but you don't question it because you TRUST YOUR UNCLE. He has also been doing it since you were VERY YOUNG, so it is NORMAL to you.**

"Come here, honey, I want to show you something."

You look up from the computer game you are playing to see your uncle sitting on the couch. He motions for you to sit in between his legs.

"I'm going to teach you how to feel good all the time," your uncle says in a quiet voice into your ear. You nod a little, but are a little nervous. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I'll turn on some cartoons for you to watch so you're not so scared."

Your uncle flips on the T.V. and switches the channel to a cartoon where little squids hop all over the screen. This is interesting to you since you like animals so much, so you quickly become engrossed in it.

As you do, you don't notice your uncle unbuttoning your pants until he is pulling them down to your knees.

"Unc-" you begin, but you are cut off as your uncle wraps his hand around your privates. He begins to move his hand up and down, and a weird feeling begins creeping up your belly.

"Just relax, honey," your uncle says as you arch your back and grab a fistful of the knees of his jeans in each hand. You make little squeaky noises which kind of scare you as your uncle continues to stroke you.

After a while, the weird feeling makes you feel like you have to pee. You become terrified, and in your throes of both panic and a new sensation you've never felt before, you attempt to abscond. Your uncle only holds you tighter, and in another few jerks of his wrist, you're screaming and crying and your lower body feels so _weird_.

When your uncle releases you, you cower on the opposite end of the couch and cry with your little balled fists over your eyes to protect yourself. You've never had something so scary happen in your life, and for the first time you wonder if your uncle loves you in the way he says he does.

But before those thoughts can be vocalized, your uncle is on you again, pinning you to the couch with his body. He kisses your cheeks, your eyelids, your forehead. He kisses all the tears away and brushes your hair with his warm hand.

"Good boy. You're a good boy, honey. You're such a good boy…" he whispers over and over. The fear slowly goes away as your uncle lifts up your shirt and starts kissing you all over. He starts licking you and it feels gross. But you don't say a word. You just lie there quietly and completely still, because you're afraid your uncle will hit you. You think about how much you want to go home to distract yourself. But this only makes you sad, because your mother will be gone for another week.

Surprisingly, your uncle does nothing in the following week. He even treats you like a real child by making cookies and watching movies and playing _real_ games with you. You start to believe that all of the weird stuff between you and your uncle is over.

You're wrong.

**You are FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. Your variety of INTERESTS has dwindled to nothing but BEES and COMPUTERS. You are in middle school, and you are realizing just how STRANGE your relationship with your uncle is. In addition, you have recently attained BRACES and have developed an EMBARRASSING LISP. In FEAR of being JUDGED, you exclude yourself from school activities. You have ONE FRIEND, but you two don't talk or hang out much because you don't want him to find out about SHENANIGANS WITH YOUR UNCLE. The time you spend with your uncle becomes more than the time you spend with your mother. This TERRIFIES you because over the years the situation WORSENS. When you begin to show RESISTANCE, your uncle doesn't take it kindly and starts getting ROUGH when he touches you. **

"If you tell anyone, I'll tell your mother and your teachers all of the nasty things you've been doing," your uncle says, his hand tangled in your hair as you frantically try to take as much of him into your mouth as possible. You know from experience that he will beat you if you so much as slow down. "I'll tell your friends and everyone your mother works with, and she'll lose her job. You don't want that, do you sweetheart? You hear me?"

"Mmph," is all you can say. You start to scrabble at your uncle's knees as he chokes you. Everything is just _awfulawfulawful_ as you fight to breathe. You try to stop your tears because you know that that only makes your uncle bigger and more impossible to handle.

There's a grunt and suddenly your mouth and nose and lungs are full of bad things and you _absolutely hate it_. You cough and hack as you pull away from your uncle as fast as you can, and everything is just so terrible that you start to cry again. You feel gross as all of the vile liquid in your mouth dribbles down the front of your shirt.

That is the day your deep hatred of the world and everyone in it began.

**You are SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. The only thing that understands you are the CODES that you write that your FRIENDS use to HACK their games. Your mother has officially LEFT YOU WITH YOUR UNCLE, finding it easier to move in with her NEW BOYFRIEND. As previously mentioned, YOU HATE THE WORLD. You hate it that you have TWO PERSONALITIES: the POPULAR one you use with your newly obtained PLETHORA OF FRIENDS (you believe it may have something to do with your sudden growth spurt) and the one you use with your UNCLE. Since you got your BRACES OFF, though, things have been a LITTLE BETTER. The lisp remains, but you learn how to KEEP IT UNDER CONTROL. The only time it comes out again is when you're PARTICULARLY UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING.**

"How was your day at school, honey?"

You toss your book bag down on the cluttered table and just stare straight down at the floor, like you've conditioned yourself to do. You don't say a word and you don't look your uncle in the eye. You allow yourself to be filled to the brim with all of your intense hate, and you drown in that as your uncle approaches.

"Bad day again? That's too bad, sweetheart. How about I make you feel better. Come on, darling, just take off your clothes… that's it."

It has become a sick ritual to you. You slide out of your shirt first, casting it to the floor. Your uncle immediately has his hands all over you. They're no longer warm to you.

But perhaps that's because you're so full of white-hot hate that your body temperature has risen over the years.

That hate suffocates you and makes everything a blur, and the next thing you know you're face-down, ass-up in your uncle's bed. Everything is just burning hot pain and more hatred, and you can't do anything but hiss and cry into a pillow that smells suspiciously like smoke and sex. Your uncle is relentless. More and more hate fills you, but all you can do is let the tears get soaked up in the foul pillow beneath you.

"You're a slut," your uncle whispers in your ear. You blubber a curse and cover your eyes with your wrist in a feeble attempt to protect yourself. "Aren't you, dear?"

"I'm a thlut," you whimper.

"That's right. Take it like the whore you are."

You tear at the sheets and earn a clobber upside the head for it. But you just can't help it; everything hurts and everything is always hurting and you hate every single God damned thing in the world and-

Your uncle finishes inside of you and all over your bare back, then pulls away to observe the damage. You collapse on the bed, panting and crying as the pain catches up with you and things that shouldn't be hurting start to throb.

"How was it?" your uncle asks quietly. He puts a tender hand on the rise of your back, and you cower even farther into the sheets.

"_Terrible!_" you scream into your pillow. "I _hate_ you!"

Your uncle slaps your back with full force and you jerk wildly, not surprised by his strike but still feeling every square inch of his skin on yours.

"You love it," your uncle snarls. He grabs you by the back of your neck and squeezes as hard as he can, making you writhe in a vain attempt to get him off. When you're sure you'll die of suffocation, he releases you and you curl in on yourself, covering the bruises all over your body. Then, his hand is on you again, gingerly stroking you and soothing the burning skin where he slapped you. "Oh sweetheart, who are you and where did the sweet little boy I once knew go?"

You glance up from your pillow, and your tear-filled eyes darken with every ounce of hatred in your body.

Where'd the little boy go?

_Straight to hell_, you think. _Where he belongs_.

**Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR. You are EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Today you are GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL.**

**What will you do?**


	2. Chapter 2

**After a quick read-through I finally deemed this acceptable to be posted.**

**I was not expecting so much love right off the bat like that!**

**Thank you to _gunsandwwands_ for the lovely fanart of baby Sollux and his bee. If you are interested in seeing the fanart, you can go to sweetmotherofbuckets (dot) tumblr (dot) com/tagged/OHACfanart**

**I hope you enjoy the next installment. :)**

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><p>[Chapter 2]<p>

"…and now for your class president and valedictorian, Sollux Captor."

There was a deafening wave of applause and cheering as a figure, clad in a black gown with an electric blue stole, rose from his seat. He had quite the grin on his face as he winked at a group of giggling girls and stealthily flashed his guy friends the middle finger from under one of his long black sleeves.

He stepped onto the stage and up to the podium, where he smacked his palms down on the surface and waited until every soul in the sweltering gymnasium had gone absolutely silent.

"'Sup."

A random student sent out a whoop, and Sollux Captor, aged eighteen years (plus a month or two) old, laughed and straightened a little.

"So," he began, shrugging. "Here we are, graduation day. It's been a long four years."

Sollux raked his gaze over his fellow classmates and to the seat that he had personally saved for his mother. She wasn't there, of course, but his uncle sure was. When he held up the video camera up like that, so focused on his nephew, Sollux almost felt like it was a normal, platonic father-son relationship.

Almost.

Sollux grimaced and moved his gaze right along.

"As we move along in our high school career," Sollux started. "We earn ourselves a lot of titles. For me, it was 'skinny nerd', 'the walking stick'… 'Sir Lisps A Lot'. That was my favorite, guys. Thanks for that."

Chortling, a stray whistle and a whoop.

"Anyway, we have all had our fair share of titles, and we should be proud of all of them. Even the bad ones. Because, if it wasn't for the names we're called sometimes, how would it be possible to relate to anyone? How would we find a place? For me, that place was with the nerds, and that was how I met Karkat Vantas-"

A wave of laughter filled the gym, and several teachers laughed amongst themselves and either shook their heads or jokingly shook their fists up at Sollux.

"_I told you not to add me in your stupid speech!"_

"Love you too, bro," Sollux responded to the loudest shout in the sea of murmuring. Sollux waited for it to get quiet again. "The point is…"

Sollux waited a little longer to make sure it was silent.

"The point is that we've all been through some rough times. But all of that was for a reason, it was so that we could march up here today and move onto bigger things in life. The rough times here were all for the purpose of strengthening us so we can step into society with our heads held high and thick skin on our bodies," Sollux said smoothly. Keeping his lisp at bay had become simple with years of practice. "It hasn't been easy, but here we are. We've all changed for the better. We've all become honorable additions to society, and I'm excited to see where life takes all of you. Now, without further delay, allow me to end this lame speech and be the first to say this:

"Let's get the heck out of here!"

Sollux stepped away from the podium and raised his fists in triumph as thunderous applause and cheering drowned out the echoes of Sollux's last words into the microphone. He stepped off the stage after taking a melodramatic bow, allowing the principal to give his final speech and end the graduation ceremony.

Sollux could not have been more relieved to hurl his graduation cap as high up into the air as possible.

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><p>"What a bunch of fuckin' imbethileth. Every latht one of them. 'Honorable mentionth to thothiety', what a joke!"<p>

"Oh shut your lisping pie hole, you damn negative nancy," Karkat snapped as he tossed a plastic bag full of paper confetti into the dumpster behind the school. "If you hate those assholes so much, you should've just _said so_."

Sollux and Karkat had long since rid of their graduation gowns, revealing the black khaki pants and white button-up shirts underneath. Then, while other students mingled in the cafeteria with their parents, the student council had been elected to clean up the gymnasium. How ironic was it that the valedictorian slash class president, with the aid of a _very_ reluctant best friend, had to clean up the mess?

"I'm just _thayin_'," Sollux continued, letting the lid of the dumpster slam shut before running a frustrated hand through the mop of messy, dark mahogany hair atop his head. After a short pause, he took a deep breath and adjusted his glasses "…Whatever. I'm over it."

"_Are_ you now?" Karkat scoffed. "If by 'over it', you mean that you're going to piss and bitch about this for another five months, then I _totally_ believe you, dude. You seem to be forgetting that I'm the one getting fuckin' ripped off here. I don't even _have_ to help your sorry ass, but I am anyway because I'm the nicest fucking friend you got!"

Sollux frowned and tapped the tip of his tongue to his top lip as Karkat grumbled to himself and bent down to pick up a few stray pieces of paper up off the ground.

"Aw, dude," Sollux sighed, scratching the back of his head before pocketing his hands. "Sorry. I'm just kinda pissed that Mom didn't show up."

"_Well_, you-" Karkat began haughtily, still glowering at the ground. Then, he stopped himself, and his voice got softer. "Well… if you weren't such a bad seed, then she'd be here, numbnuts."

Sollux grinned and knelt on the ground next to Karkat to help him pick up paper.

"Bad seed? Who's the valedictorian here?"

"_Fuck_ you, nerd."

Sollux and Karkat reached for the same piece of paper, but before their hands could brush, Karkat steered clear and instead opted to haul himself to his feet with a wad of paper balled up in his hands. Sollux followed suit, frowning a little with the sudden uncomfortable atmosphere.

"There. Just leave the rest of it. Get the janitors to just do their job and pick shit up every once and a while. Jesus."

Sollux rolled his eyes and smirked, jabbing Karkat with his elbow.

"Calm down, princess."

"Sollux?"

Sollux stiffened at the sound of a dreadfully familiar voice at his back. Karkat, who was facing the voice, set his jaw and took a not-so-subtle step around Sollux, blocking him. Sollux slowly turned on the spot to face his uncle, who was making his way towards them with frighteningly slow, long strides. When he was there before them, the laugh lines around his lips creased as he smiled, much to Sollux's unabashed disgust.

It was kind of hilarious, actually- Karkat was several inches shorter than Sollux (much to the crabby boy's _violent_ dismay), but Sollux's uncle was several inches taller than Sollux himself. Karkat, however, didn't back down.

"Hello, Karkat," Uncle Kenneth said in his slow, sweetly drawn-out voice. Even though his voice was kind, he towered over Karkat with an intimidating air to him that made Karkat himself fidget with his jeans. "Congratulations on graduating."

"Thank you, Mr. Captor," Karkat said coolly, finally deciding to grow a pair and flick a lock of ebony hair out of his eyes so he could glare up at his opponent. Kenneth didn't move a muscle.

"Do you need something?" Sollux asked softly.

"No…"

It got very awkward very quickly, and Sollux swallowed audibly. This didn't go by unnoticed by Kenneth, who grinned.

"Look, this has been a great reunion, but-" Karkat began with sarcastic crispness. He was interrupted, however, as a voice called out to him.

"Karkat!"

All three heads turned to the back door of the school, where one of Sollux's former classmates was hanging out the door.

"Karkat, we've got a couple more bags left in the gym," she called. "Get in here and help!"

"Make _this_ douche bag do it," Karkat said, jerking his thumb back towards Sollux.

"Don't be a jerk, Karkat. Let him chill out for a while. Come on!"

When it was made clear that she wouldn't leave, Karkat flashed Sollux an apologetic look and jogged towards the door, grumbling curses the whole way.

And then it was Sollux and his uncle. They stared expressionlessly at each other until the slam of the back door sounded.

"Come here," Kenneth said slowly, the smile on his face not one of kindness at all. When Sollux didn't budge, Kenneth resolved to taking a menacing step towards him instead, cornering Sollux against the dumpster. "Look at me."

Sollux pinched his lips together and remained rigid, staring blankly at Kenneth's chest. However, his eyes betrayed him and flicked upwards in his nervousness. Mistake.

Sollux's glasses clattered to the ground as a resounding _crack_ filled his ears and made his brains rattle. The slap instantly scorched his skin and made his face throb. Letting out a suppressed cry of pain, he reached up to grab at his cheek, but before he could do so, his uncle snatched up his wrist.

"I said look at me," he snarled through gritted teeth. Sollux cowered against the dumpster, refusing to turn his head back towards his uncle. "Look at me. Look at me, Sollux."

Sollux's head slowly, jerkily, began turning towards Kenneth. Apparently he wasn't fast enough, though, because his uncle roughly grabbed his face and wrenched it towards him. Sollux could barely contain his hiss of surprise.

"There," Kenneth sighed, smiling a little as he turned Sollux's face back and forth. "Look at how pretty you are. All grown up and ready for the world. Are you excited for college, my dear?"

Sollux struggled to nod in his uncle's vice grip.

"That's good. Such a smart, handsome boy you've grown up to be."

Sollux could only squeeze his eyes shut as Kenneth moved in and pressed him against the dumpster with his body. Kenneth kissed him deeply right off the bat, choking Sollux with the taste of smoke and some other substance that Sollux didn't want to know about. Gnarled fingers raked through Sollux's hair, pulling in all of the wrong places and stinging his scalp. Sollux tried to open his eyes, but only succeeded in getting his eyes full of long, greasy, brownish-gray hair.

"Thtop," Sollux croaked between grunts as he vainly attempted to shove his uncle off of him.

"I'm so sad, darling," Kenneth sighed, pulling away and caressing Sollux's trembling face. "I'm so sad that you'll be spending the summer at Karkat's house before you head off to college. I won't be able to see your beautiful face…"

Sollux bit his bottom lip as hard as he could to hold back from screaming in both rage and hurt as Kenneth continued to touch him in all the wrong places. His thumb was too firm on his Adam's apple, his nails sunken too deep in his skin.

"Are you sad to leave me?" Kenneth whispered, shaking Sollux's head a little. "Are you sad that you won't see me for a long time?"

"Yeth," Sollux practically whimpered, hating the sound of his own voice. "Yeth, I'm thad, Uncle Kenneth."

"Oh honey," Kenneth cooed, relaxing his death grip on Sollux's face. He stroked Sollux's thumb with his cheek. "It's okay. We'll see each other again soon."

"Okay," Sollux breathed, and his voice broke. He nodded and gulped audibly. "Pleathe… pleathe let go now."

But Kenneth didn't let go. Instead, his hands on Sollux's cheeks slid down to wrap around his neck. Sollux shuddered violently, reaching up to claw at his uncle's arms.

"Pleathe-"

The next few moments were a blur. All Sollux knew was that there was a terrible, terrifying pressure around his neck that took his breath away. Tears pricked at his eyes, not in fear or in hurt, but with a lack of oxygen. His breathing became guttural and inaudible cries for help.

And the mother fucker was getting off on it.

"Oh Sollux," Kenneth murmured through the blood rushing through Sollux's ears. "You really ought to get more color in those lovely cheeks of yours."

When Sollux began to go limp, Kenneth released him, and Sollux slammed against the dumpster with a huge gasp. He dropped to the ground immediately, dragging his tingling legs up to his chest and hugging himself tightly as he fought to control his rapid breathing.

"Why?" he asked in a tiny voice, not exactly looking for an answer. He put his head in his hand. "Why didn't Mom come, too?"

"She doesn't have time for you, honey," Kenneth said gently. He knelt in front of Sollux and stroked his hair. "But I will always, always be here for you."

When Sollux didn't answer, Kenneth simply leaned forward and kissed each of his eyelids, then his forehead, then gave him one more chaste kiss on the lips.

"I love you, Sollux."

Sollux only swallowed hard once more and nodded, close to tears. Kenneth then rose.

"I'll see you again during fall break, sweetheart. I'll call you!"

And with that, Kenneth simply walked away and disappeared around the corner.

When he was gone, Sollux let out the breath he had been holding and shivered uncontrollably, trying to rub the headache out of his head by repeatedly combing his fingers through his hair. Through the mist in his eyes, he looked over at where his glasses lied on the ground. Luckily, the rectangle-rimmed eyewear hadn't been damaged in the fall. Sollux leaned over to pick them up with shaking fingers, then put them on with some difficulty.

Getting to his feet, Sollux brushed off his pants and his shirt, then wiped his lips. He touched his neck, scared that he would feel a break, or worse, a bruise. But no, his neck was fine. His cheek was a little raw and sensitive to the touch, but that could've been anything. Bruises on his neck would've looked a hundred thousand times worse.

Hauling himself to his feet, Sollux stumbled a little and braced himself on the dumpster, holding his head in his hand.

It was over.

For the time being, everything was over. Sollux let out a sigh of relief. For now, he was safe. He was free. He choked on a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. With his back to the dumpster, he slid down to squat against it, tipping his head back with a dull _thud_. Sollux shut his eyes, and the migraine began to fade.

"Hey asshole, I hope you know that there are probably pieces of glass all over the ground."

Sollux looked up from his hand to see Karkat jogging towards him.

"Where's your uncle?" Karkat asked. Sollux swallowed and weakly attempted to stand. Karkat, however, offered him his hand with an irritated huff. Sollux took it and pulled himself to his feet, murmuring a 'thank you'. Their hands remained joined for a second longer than necessary, and Karkat pulled his away and cleared his throat.

"He left," Sollux sighed after a long, awkward pause. "Roughed me up a bit, but as far as I know he won't be bugging me when I'm at your house."

Karkat quirked his lips and crossed his arms, looking up at Sollux with a knowing scowl on his face.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? You know, this whole 'bluh I'm not going to trust Karkat bluh' thing you've got going on is really starting to piss me off."

Sollux shrugged and looked up. He gave Karkat a half-assed smile. Part of Sollux knew that Karkat secretly knew about the abuse, but he knew for a fact that Karkat didn't know about the molestation and the rape.

Sollux planned to keep it that way.

"Nah. It's fine. Just… do you think we can skip the Senior All-Night Party tonight?"

Karkat tilted his head, his face softening ever so slightly.

"Not feeling up to flailing around with a bunch of smelly assholes in some hot, cramped gym?"

"No."

"We already paid for it, you know."

"I'll pay you back."

Karkat smirked and punched Sollux in the arm.

"You're such an indecisive little jerkoff."

"Does that mean you'd rather go to that party?"

"_Fuck_ no."

"Call of Duty?"

"First one to the car gets the good controller."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long guys! D:! This weekend I was in our school musical Footloose!, and I was sick the whole time. That would usually not be a problem had I not been one of the lead roles. The singing was fine, but I had to suffer through three days of on and off fevers, sniffles, coughs, and terrible sinus issues, so I didn't have much time to think about OHAC!**

**Anyway, here's chapter three. Just to remind you all, I am a slow developer. I didn't forget about Eridan! He's on his way, but he won't be making an appearance for a while. :3**

**So... I hope you enjoy! Thank you again for all of your support, I really appreciate it!**

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><p>[Chapter 3]<p>

"Boys?"

Sollux and Karkat glanced up from their game as Mrs. Vantas appeared in the doorway. She was a short woman, much like Karkat, and had a pleasant plumpness to her that screamed comfort and homeliness. She gave Karkat's room a disapproving look, her eyes clinging to the pile of clothes heaped in the corner.

"Son, I thought I told you to pick up before Sollux came over," she scolded. Karkat shrugged and looked back at his and Sollux's game of Call of Duty.

"Forgot."

"_Forgot_ he says," Mrs. Vantas sighed. Then, she smiled down at Sollux.

"I'm sorry your son is a complete waste of space, Mrs. Vantas," Sollux said with a completely straight face. He and Karkat's mother laughed even though Sollux received a punch in the thigh for it.

"Anyway, I just wanted to see if you two needed anything," Mrs. Vantas said, focusing on Sollux. "Any preference on where you'd like to sleep, hun?"

Sollux shrugged, preoccupied with the game.

"Anywhere's fine, really. Want me to help blow up an air mattress or something?"

"Oh no," Mrs. Vantas said with a wave of her hand. "No, my husband will set up a nice little bed in here for you. If you'd like to help, he'd very much appreciate it. And you're helping too, Karkat."

"Mooom," Karkat whined, tipping his head back so it hit the mattress of his bed, which he was sitting against beside Sollux. "I'm not even sleeping in it!"

"Karkat, don't make me get Dad involved in this," Mrs. Vantas snapped. "You're helping."

Karkat puffed up his cheeks and scowled at the television.

"Fine. What's for dinner, then?" he asked. Mrs. Vantas rolled her eyes, shook her head, and walked out the door. "_Mom!_"

Karkat listened for an answer.

"_Mooooooooooom, what's for dinner?_" he shouted across the house.

"Dude shut up, you're being an asshole," Sollux groaned, jabbing Karkat hard in the side with his elbow.

"_Ow!_ Fuck you, she said that she was going to make something special for our graduation dinner since we're not going to the party and I want to know what it is!"

"You don't have to be a dick about it. Come on, your mom's awesome."

"She's only cool when you're around. You're fucking lucky, she treats you like you're some sort of prince when you come around."

"Because I, unlike you, am not an asshole."

"Dude, you're the biggest asshole I've ever met."

"At least_ I_ can hide it."

Karkat's character on the television whirled around and began unleashing a deluge of bullets onto Sollux's character.

"Ah!" Sollux shouted, laughing. He made his character jump out of the way. "_Stop!_ That's friendly fire!"

Somehow Sollux got the better of Karkat's sudden turn on him, and he himself utterly wiped the floor with Karkat's face by killing his character in a matter of seconds.

"Fuck!" Karkat exploded, slamming his controller down on his thighs.

"Your controller's gonna end up like all the others if you keep treating it like that," Sollux snorted, struggling to breathe as he collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Captor," Karkat growled. He threw his controller aside and shoved Sollux away from him. Sollux yelled out in surprise, but laughed and shoved Karkat back. Before long, they had begun a full-out punch-and-shove fight, but before things got too serious there was a knock at the door.

"Karkat, I thought your mother told you to pick up your damn room!"

Both heads turned to face the door, and there stood the medium-height, burly Mr. Vantas. He had a scowl on his face that matched Karkat's usual expression straight down to the last frown line.

"I _did_," Karkat insisted. "I got all of the crap out of the way for Sollux's bed!"

"You were told to clean your _entire_ room!"

"_That's not what Mom said!_"

Sollux chuckled as father and son began another one of their daily bellowing competitions. It was downright comical, since Mr. Vantas basically looked like a taller and broader version of his hotheaded son. Sollux calmly watched on, knowing it wouldn't get any scarier than a few articles of clothing or belts lobbed at each other. Instead, he yawned, shoved some of Karkat's shit off of his bed, then sprawled over it. He checked out his friend's movie collection, finding nothing but a bunch of lame romantic comedies that he was sure he had never heard of before.

Reaching into his pocket, Sollux dug out his phone and flipped it open. Five unread texts. He already knew who they were from, but Sollux begrudgingly opened them anyway.

_Hey sweetie. Just checking up on you. How are things at Karkat's house? You didn't forget anything, did you? Say hello to Karkat's mother for me._

Delete.

_Honey, you forgot to bring your iPod! I spent a lot of money on that for you, sweetie! I thought you'd definitely remember it._

Delete.

_I'll be there later tonight to drop off your iPod. Want me to bring anything else for you? _

Delete.

_Your graduation video turned out great, honey._

Delete.

_Just watching this makes me want to touch mys-_

DELETE.

Sollux rolled his eyes. Just as he was about to snap his phone shut, his phone vibrated again. Dreading the worst, he warily opened the text.

_sry i couldnt make it to grad_

He stared at the text message for a moment before frantically bringing the phone close to his face and hitting the 'reply' button.

_iit'2 ok mom ii mii22ed you but you can make iit to my oriientatiion liike you 2aiid riight?_

Sollux grimaced. He hated his phone. Not only was the 'I' key stuck, but the 'S' key didn't work at all, so he just used '2'. He'd use '5', but '2' was closer to the 'send' button.

It was a long time before Sollux's phone finally buzzed again.

_no sry_

Sollux frowned as his shoulders slumped. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach.

_ok mom that'2 fiine_

Sollux sent the message, thought for a moment, and clicked 'reply' again.

_ii love you mom_

Satisfied, Sollux snapped his phone shut with a ghost of his smile on his face. But once again, he hardly had time to move before his phone buzzed once more.

_k_

Sollux swallowed the lump in his throat. His mom was just busy, that was all. She'd text him back later to congratulate him. Maybe she'd even call him. She was just… busy.

"_Boys!_"

The shout from downstairs made everyone in the room go silent and look up.

"Time to eat!"

Differences were put aside and phones were shoved carelessly into pockets in the mad dash to get out of the room and down the staircase.

* * *

><p>"…and here's some fresh towels for you," Mrs. Vantas said, loading Sollux's arms with various toiletries. "And a fresh bar of soap. I'll bring you your PJs, okay?"<p>

"Um, sure Mrs. Vantas," Sollux said with somewhat of a nervous smile. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, hun," Mrs. Vantas cooed, giving Sollux an affectionate pat on the arm. "We love having you here. You're such a nice boy."

"Ah… hahaha," Sollux chuckled awkwardly as Mrs. Vantas turned him around and gently nudged him towards the bathroom.

"Take as long as you need. My husband and Karkat will set up your bed for you."

"Uh, you don't have to. I can help-"

"You're the guest! Just take a shower, Sollux! I won't take no for an answer!" Mrs. Vantas insisted, patting Sollux's back.

"Alright, alright," Sollux laughed. "Thanks a ton, Mrs. Vantas."

With that, Mrs. Vantas shut the door behind Sollux and left him alone in the bathroom. Sollux deposited his toiletries on the lid of the laundry hamper, then turned to the mirror so he could get a good look at himself.

His neck was spotless. Perhaps it was because he was so used to it, Sollux thought grimly. He let out a long sigh, then began unbuttoning his shirt. He let it slide from his arms and flutter to the floor behind him.

His glasses were left neatly folded on the bathroom counter, along with his watch and phone. With a _clank, clank_ of his belt, he unbuckled and unbuttoned his pants, then allowed them to drop to the floor around his ankles. He stepped out of them and unceremoniously kicked them aside to be picked up later.

Sollux ran the bathwater first to check the temperature. Once he was satisfied, he tugged down his black-and-yellow striped boxers, toed them aside, and stepped into the shower.

The water was hot and wonderful on his skin. Sollux just stood there with his eyes closed for a few moments, allowing the steam to soak into his body. Away from his troubles his mind wandered, drifting to more pleasant things.

Things like Karkat's family. Mrs. Vantas was overly-doting by nature, not because she wanted to get in Sollux's pants, but because she simply _liked_ him. And Mr. Vantas was so funny when he fought with Karkat. Even though it was a bunch of yelling, Sollux knew from years of spending the night at Karkat's house that it was just the Vantas way of showing affection. Really weird affection. But affection and love nonetheless.

Whenever he was with the Vantas family, he felt as if he hated the world a little less.

Sollux's mind continued along its tour of carefully-guarded pleasant thoughts, like his mother. He remembered, vaguely, times in which his mother would hold him on her lap and just rock back and forth, back and forth. Her long hair would tickle his nose, and he would just bury his face in it because it smelled so good. Like honey.

And that's why he had always liked bees. Because they 'make the smell that mommy's hair makes'.

Sollux's eyes peeled open. For a moment he just stared hard at the floor of shower, watching the water get sucked down the drain.

His mind innocently fluttered down to rest on thoughts that made Sollux the happiest. He reached up to drum his fingers lightly on the center of his chest as his heartbeat sped up just a little.

Karkat.

He was abrasive and mean. He had a stick up his ass. His mouth was definitely not the cleanest.

But he was honest. He was loyal and trustworthy and he lit that tiny spark in Sollux that still believed that there were good people in the world. The short, stubby little asshole was the one person that Sollux could truly trust in. Karkat was his. _Mine_.

He would never let anyone take him away. His father, his virginity, his love for the world, his innocence, and his sense of belonging had all been snatched away from him. But Karkat was his, and there wasn't a damn thing in the world that could take that away from him, too.

Sollux swallowed loudly as a blush rose to his cheeks. His thoughts strayed even farther from the path of innocence, and his eyes slid shut once more. Soon, visions of Karkat clouded Sollux's mind. Without consent, his thoughts traced the outline of Karkat's hips and their natural curve. He envisioned his soft albeit slightly chapped lips, his jaw, his chocolate brown eyes.

Letting out a shaky sigh, Sollux looked down at himself, noticing that somewhere along the lines he had become aroused by his thoughts. He pinched his lips together and slid his hands down his body, ghosting his touch over his jutting ribs and flat stomach.

When he got close to taking hold of himself, his trembling lips twisted into a look of disgust. He couldn't watch. Stepping forward, Sollux put his elbow up on the wall of the shower and covered his eyes with it before taking the final move and beginning to slowly touch himself.

_Come here, honey. I'm going to show you how to feel good all the time._

Sollux gritted his teeth as he continued to stroke.

_Come here and get on your knees, dear. I want just a little favor from you._

It didn't feel right at all. Everything was too sensitive. That wretched overly-sweet voice made the visions of Karkat waver and fade, instead replacing Sollux's thoughts with pain and sick feelings.

_If you tell anyone about this, I'll tell everyone about all of the nasty things you're doing._

Sollux's lips parted to release a tiny moan that he had been holding. However, it had been forced in the attempt to get his mind back on track.

_You're a dirty slut._

Shakily, Sollux pulled his face away from his arm and looked down at himself. His arousal had completely left him, and he was left feeling like an idiot as he held his limp dick in his hand.

"Son of a _bitch_," Sollux spat, letting go and squeezing his eyes shut. No matter where he went, his uncle would follow. Even though his spirit was free, it was as if Kenneth had slapped a chastity belt onto his lower half.

Wrapping his arms tightly around himself, Sollux allowed himself to descend into negative thoughts. He was disgusting. He wanted Karkat in so many unclean ways. He wanted to pin him down, and to take his breath away, and to make him scream his name-

Sollux clawed at his sides.

But Karkat didn't know. He could never know, because if they had a relationship, Sollux would eventually tell him about the extent of his abuse.

And that would surely disgust and push away the one person in the whole world that Sollux actually gave a shit about.

The shampoo in his hair did nothing to wash out the shame. How dare he even attempt masturbation in Karkat's house? In the _Vantas_ house? Mr. and Mrs. Vantas trusted him, and here he was, thinking about how much he wanted to throw Karkat down on a bed and-

Sollux shut the water off and stepped out of the shower before more negative emotions could gnaw at his sanity. He grabbed a towel, not caring if it sent a few other toiletries that Mrs. Vantas had given him to the floor. Drying himself off, Sollux fought to keep his emotions under control. Desperately, he wanted to cry, to scream, or at least get the shit hugged out of him. But nope, Sollux couldn't afford to be weak. He couldn't afford to rely on someone to offer him a shoulder to cry on.

Sollux's thoughts were interrupted as a light rapping sounded at the door.

"Sollux? Hun? I brought you your pajamas. What would you like me to do with them?"

"Um…" Sollux began, stepping towards the door. "You can just open the door a bit and stick 'em in."

The door opened, and an arm appeared with Sollux's fleece red-and-blue plaid sweatpants and a white t-shirt in hand.

"Thanks," Sollux said as he took the pajamas and watched the door close behind Mrs. Vantas's arm.

"Not a problem. We've got the bed all set up for you in Karkat's room," Mrs. Vantas said. "Also, Karkat wants to know if you want to go somewhere tomorrow to make up for missing the Senior All-Night Party."

Sollux thought for a second as he quickly toweled off and began pulling on his boxers and pajamas.

"Uh… did he tell you where?"

"Nope. He'll probably just want to go to a movie or something."

"Not one of his crappy chick flicks?"

"I'm not sure. He's been talking about the new Transformers movie a lot lately."

"They made _another_ one?"

Laughter.

"Apparently."

"Sure. Who doesn't want to watch giant space robots kicking the crap out of each other? It's a manly man's favorite pastime."

More chuckling.

"Oh Sollux, if only Karkat was as good natured as you."

Sollux only smirked at himself after that. 'If only' indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wah~ this was supposed to come out earlier today, but I just kept napping! ;3; **

**Anyway... hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 4]<p>

"Hey, your mom told me you wanted to go somewhere tomorrow," Sollux said as he walked into Karkat's bedroom with a towel draped over his head.

"…Yeah," was the absentminded response.

When Sollux closed the door behind him, he went to Karkat, who was sitting cross-legged on his bed as he stared at the television. On it was a romance movie, of course.

"You're so lame," Sollux groaned, reaching out and flicking the side of Karkat's head. Karkat didn't even look up from the movie, just stuck his middle finger up in his friend's face.

"Hey, fuck you. I like this movie."

Sollux plopped down beside Karkat on his bed and stared dumbly at the movie, his nose wrinkling a little bit. He _really_ wasn't a fan of any sort of romantic film.

"Don't you ever wish you had a girlfriend? Just… a pretty girl with long brown hair and a really nice face?" Karkat asked without warning.

Sollux cocked an eyebrow.

"Really, Karkat? You're _really_ going to ask me that?"

Karkat scowled.

"Oh right, I forgot you hate the entirety of the human race. Sorry for pissing on your parade."

"…Fine. Okay, my ideal girl has black hair."

"That's it? You're never gonna get fuckin' laid."

"Karkat, may I remind you that you're the only virgin in the room?"

Karkat flushed crimson and scratched the back of his head.

"Who the fuck did _you_ do it with, anyway?" Karkat asked, finally looking up from his movie to glare at Sollux. Sollux smirked.

"You'll never know."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Sollux! I'll fucking kill yo-"

There was a knock at the door and Karkat's shout faded into a low grumble. The door opened a moment later, and Mrs. Vantas stuck her head in.

"Your dad and I are going to bed, Karkat," she said. "So it's time for you two to quiet down. I set out some snacks and a bit of pop downstairs in case you two get hungry. If you want to pop popcorn, just be quick and quiet about it, alright?"

"Okay," Sollux said when Karkat didn't say anything.

"Good. Alright, goodnight you two. You can stay up as late as you'd like, but just remember to keep it down."

"Goodnight, Mrs. Vantas."

"'Night, Mom."

Mrs. Vantas smiled and began to shut the door. But before she could close it, Karkat jumped up from his bed and went to his mom, his arms outstretched as he rolled his eyes.

"Could you make it any more obvious, Mom?" Karkat sighed as Mrs. Vantas took her son into her arms and held him tightly.

"I'm so _proud_ of you," Mrs. Vantas murmured. "You have no idea, pumpkin."

Sollux watched as the tips of Karkat's ears turned red and he pushed at his mom a bit.

"M-Mom, I told you to stop calling me that…"

Mrs. Vantas pulled away and gave Karkat a big kiss on both cheeks before giving him one more kiss on the lips.

"You come here too, Sollux," Mrs. Vantas said, holding Karkat's waist in one arm while she reached out with the other. Sollux went hesitantly, allowing himself to be brought into Mrs. Vantas's gentle hold. She brought him down by the back of the neck to give him a long kiss on the forehead, then held both boys out in front of her to look them up and down. "I remember when you two were just little boys. You two grew up so fast, I can hardly believe you two are off to college.

"And Sollux! What is this whole thing with you going to the same college as Karkat? You're a valedictorian, and a class president, too! You could go to almost any college in America!"

"There's really no right or wrong way to teach computer programming. It's like math," Sollux said, awkwardly scratching the back of his still-damp head. "It's pretty straightforward, and anything the professors don't teach me, I can learn on my own. Where we're going is still prestigious, anyway. I'm not taking that big of a step down."

"Such a smart young man," Mrs. Vantas cooed, reaching up to caress Sollux's cheek. Then, she turned to Karkat and brushed his bangs back with the side of her hand. "And you've become so strong, Karkat."

"Why couldn't I be the smart one?" Karkat asked in a low grumble, but he didn't move to shake off his mom's touch.

With that, Mrs. Vantas brought them both into a bear hug once more, letting out a sniffle as she did so (of course, her response was a exasperated pat on her back and a groan from Karkat).

"Oh, Sollux," Mrs. Vantas said when she pulled away. "Your uncle dropped by earlier with a little bag of some belongings that you forgot. It's downstairs on the kitchen table, would you like me to-"

"Nah, don't worry about it, Mrs. Vantas," Sollux said hastily.

"Alright," Mrs. Vantas said with a small, understanding smile. "And you can stop any time with the formalities. Just call me Danielle."

"Mom, that's so weird, why would Sollux want to do that?"

"_Anyway_," Mrs. Vantas continued, ignoring Karkat with a flick of her short, feathered hair. "I'm heading up for the night. Goodnight."

"'Night."

"G'night."

Mrs. Vantas left, shutting the door behind her. As soon as she did, Karkat let out a long groan and tore off his shirt before whipping it to the floor. He purred as he reached behind him and started scratching his back.

"I thought she'd never leave," Karkat muttered, rolling his eyes as he went to the light switch and flicked off the lights. "She's so over-the-top devoted to being a mom sometimes."

Karkat whirled around to face Sollux.

"And _you. _Stop being such a suck up! I know exactly what you're doing!"

Sollux hadn't been paying much attention to Karkat, given the fact that he was preoccupied with Karkat's attire.

His black drawstring sweatpants were unusually baggy on him, and the mere weight of the pants dragged them down so they sat nicely on Karkat's slightly flared hips. They were dangerously close to revealing what Sollux had only fantasized about for years, but the pants only teased him with a nice view of the line of soft black peach fuzz that trailed down from Karkat's bellybutton to the waist of his sweats. Karkat had skipped a few years of gym and weightlifting, instead succumbing to his mother's homemade cooking. So, he had a bit of a gut. Just a little. But Sollux didn't mind one bit. In fact, his toes were already curling against the wooden floor of Karkat's bedroom at the thought of touching that cute little belly, of kissing it-

"What the fuck are you staring at?"

Sollux jumped ever so slightly.

"Huh?" he asked dumbly. Karkat crossed his arms.

"Got something to say? Think I'm fat, Captor?"

"N-No!" Sollux stammered, somewhat alarmed. How long had he been staring? Oh God, did he have an _erection?_ …No, but would he have had one if he stared for a second longer?

"Well at least I'm not a skinny little _bitch!_"

With that, Karkat lobbed a nearby pillow at Sollux's face, but he caught it easily against his chest.

"Calm down," Sollux sighed, rolling his eyes. "I was just thinking."

Karkat relaxed a little.

"Thinking? Was it about your mom?"

Pause.

"…Uh… yeah."

"Look, dude. I don't actually think you're a bad seed. Your mom's probably just busy. Now stop being such a little baby about it. At some point you've got to stop getting breastfed, you know."

Sollux hurled the pillow back at Karkat.

"I know, dipshit," Sollux sniggered, reaching down to grab the hem of his own shirt. He lifted it up and over his head, relieved to escape from the Arizona heat that got easily trapped inside Karkat's room during the summer nights. His parents sure liked to crank the heat in their little Arizonian home, even though the temperature plummeted after sunset. "You know I would've said something if I had thought you were serious."

"Mm," Karkat grunted, turning away and going back to his bed. He crawled up onto it and draped his blanket over his head. "Want to watch the rest of this movie with me?"

"Nah," Sollux said after a pause. As much as he wanted to spend as much time with Karkat as possible, he didn't dare watch romantic movies with him, as it often depressed him to the point of it being noticeable. "I'm a little tired."

"Alright."

Sollux went to the bed the Vantas family had set up for him on the opposite side of the room and climbed in. He was so tall that he had to curl up a little to fit completely on the mattress, but he didn't mind. He enjoyed curling up into a ball at night; it allowed him to feel safe and protected.

Turning away from Karkat, Sollux remained absolutely silent to concentrate on tuning out the movie and instead allowing his ears to be filled with Karkat. A dreamy sigh, the shifting of blankets, the slight grunt after letting out a yawn; these were all things that Sollux listened for. It was as close to lying his head down on Karkat's chest and listening to his heartbeat as he could get. Simply knowing Karkat was there, alive and well and breathing, was enough to fill Sollux's heart with warmth and lull him to a half-awake, half-asleep doze.

But before Sollux could slip into his dreams, he remembered something and awoke with a start. This went by unnoticed by Karkat, who was beginning to nod in front of his movie. With a quick peek over at Karkat to make sure he wasn't paying attention, Sollux rolled over and reached under the bed. From there, he retrieved his black duffel bag and unzipped it. He threw a few piles of poorly folded clothes out of the bag until he reached the bottom, where a large, black and yellow stuffed bumblebee was stuffed in the corner. Sollux gingerly grabbed it, squeezing its plush material in his hands. He didn't lift it up and out of the bag until he triple checked that Karkat wasn't paying attention. After concluding that he would not be seen, Sollux quickly flipped back over to his opposite side with the large bee plush so he was once more facing away from his best friend.

Sollux gazed at the bumblebee in the dim light from the television screen. Over the years, the strong material the bee had been made of had held up well, without any sign of damage or decay. Then again, the stuffed bee was a little more to Sollux than just a plaything, so he had taken good care of it. It had been his friend for all of those years when he had thought that the world had surely thrown him away. It had been a staple in his development.

If Uncle hit him, Babbu (he received the bee when he was young, it wasn't like he had acquired an advanced vocabulary at the age of three and a half) kissed him and made it better. If he was touched, Babbu would never tell. He would only stare up at Sollux with those big, round, button eyes of his and comfortingly prod him with a bouncy antennae or gently tap his head with a silky wing. When his uncle raped him… well, stuffed animals couldn't hug away _all_ of the pain.

But it still sure as hell helped.

Sollux squeezed his eyes shut and hugged his bee as close to him as he could. His body coiled around the plush, and just like that Sollux folded himself into an impossibly tiny ball on his bed. He buried his nose deep into the soft plushie and inhaled deeply.

It didn't smell like his mother anymore.

* * *

><p><em>Things continued normally in the Vantas household for the next few weeks. Of course Kenneth would call at least twice a day, much to Sollux's chagrin. The calls went completely ignored, though, and Sollux allowed himself to drown in summer fun.<em>

_Sollux and Karkat did everything two boys would do in the summer: go out, drive like idiots on desert back roads, and eat twice their weight in junk food and do nothing but lose weight. At one point, when they had gone to the beach while on a trip to Texas, Karkat had caught a hermit crab. Within seconds it was put in a nice little aquarium, and once they got back to Arizona, Karkat had a new pet hermit crab, which he called 'Crabdad'. Very soon, they were tanned and then sunburned, peeled, then tanned again. Their hair lightened in the sun, and before they knew it, summer was halfway over._

* * *

><p>"Nnnmmmoi…"<p>

Sollux's eyes fluttered open as he awoke to the sound of a slurred voice. His ears strained to hear more, but after a few moments of silence he slowly began to drift once more.

"Hmmmmole…"

Sollux sat up abruptly and snapped his head around to face Karkat's bed. Karkat was sprawled over it with his legs tightly tangled in the blanket that had been shoved to the foot of the bed.

"Karkat?" Sollux whispered into the semi-darkness. When there was no answer, he swung his legs off of his bed and stood before going to Karkat's bed. "Karkat? You okay?"

Karkat only shifted and moaned in his sleep. Sollux assumed her had only been sleep talking the entire time, but he made no move to go back to his own bed. Instead, he was very careful not to rouse Karkat as he cautiously perched himself on the edge of is bed. Briefly, he wished he had grabbed his glasses for a better view of his slumbering best friend.

With timid, trembling fingers, Sollux reached down and flitted his touch over Karkat's cheeks, his collar bone, and down the side of his rib cage. He ended at Karkat's waist, where he caressed the warm skin he had come to adore over the years.

Eyes darkening and lids lowering as silent desires began to creep up his spine, Sollux leaned over Karkat's stilled body. He remained hanging there for a second, bracing himself with one clenched fist on the pillow beside Karkat's head. He began to lower himself, his vision clouded with the unbearable urges that his incredible attraction towards Karkat had brought upon him.

His lips traveled surprisingly far surprisingly fast. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was kissing his sleeping friend. It was very innocent and hardly even a kiss, but the subtle brushing of lips still made Sollux's heart throb painfully against his chest.

However, a second later, Sollux wrenched himself away with a look of revulsion upon his face. There he went, betraying Karkat's absolute trust in him for the umpteenth time that summer.

_You're a sick fuck, Sollux._

From the back of Sollux's throat came a pained grunt. He turned away from Karkat, immediately hunching over and resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Sollux…?"

Sollux wasn't surprised to hear his voice. He had been expecting it, even. Karkat wasn't exactly a heavy sleeper. For a moment, he wondered _what in God's name_ had been going through his head at that moment when he…

"Yeah?"

There was a rustling sound from behind him, and Sollux could just imagine Karkat sitting up with that tired, deeply confused look on his face.

"I don't understand. Why?" Karkat asked, and his voice was short and to the point. Not a good sign. The usual tempest of a boy was not flipping the fuck out, and that fact put both hope and dread into Sollux's heart. It made him want to curl up and die, at least more so than usual.

"I'm thorry," Sollux finally said in a hushed whisper. His body began to tremble violently.

"Fuck," Karkat sighed. More rustling. "Uh… well… Sollux, are you… are you gay?"

"I'm tho thorry."

"Stop apologizing, asshole. Answer my question. Are you gay or what?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know," Karkat echoed. "Okay. Um… just… calm down, alright? If you start crying, I'll fucking punch you."

"I'm not crying," Sollux insisted, looking up from his hands but refusing to look Karkat in the eye.

"Good. So uh… what _was_ that, then? The kiss?"

Sollux cringed as if he was in pain.

"I don't know."

There was a long, awkward silence.

"Do you um… like me?" Karkat asked in a very embarrassed albeit slightly frustrated voice. Sollux literally flinched away from the words that time, hugging his arms tightly around himself.

"Are we thtill friendth?" Sollux blurted. His trembling quickly turned into full-blown quakes that wracked his body and locked up his limbs.

"Dude," Karkat croaked. The slight break in his voice when he spoke caused Sollux to look up a little. Was he… laughing?

Looking over his shoulder, Sollux was surprised to see Karkat smiling a bit sadly at him.

"Calm down. C'mon, you're always ripping on me for asking if we're still friends after we get in fights over stupid shit. I don't think I can handle _you_ doing it, too."

The teasing demeanor of his words could not mask the deeper message lying below it. And, just like that, Sollux's heart lifted right back out of the deep pit in which it had sunk.

"Karkat, I-" he began. Karkat, however, shook his head and silenced him with a light smack on the shoulder.

"Just stop, Sollux. Stop and shut up for a second so I can digest this."

Sollux was obediently quiet as Karkat looked up at the ceiling and thought for a few seconds.

"Let me get this straight. You like me."

"…Yes."

"…and this has gone on for how long…?"

"A _long_ time, Karkat."

"Ah. That'll probably explain why I never even noticed it… but I'm not very surprised, either. And you said you don't know if you're gay…?"

"Um," Sollux began quietly, folding his hands in his lap. "If anything, I think I'm bisexual… I still like girls. But you might just be a special case or something."

"Special case," Karkat cited skeptically. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay… well… Sollux, listen. I have absolutely no problems at all with you being bi or… pansexual, or whatever you want to call it. But… fuck, man, I'm sorry but I like _chicks_."

Sollux's blood ran ice cold as his tiny sliver of hope was violently ripped from his heart and dashed to the floor. There it lied, dying, as Karkat continued and Sollux's face grew paler and paler and the blood rushed louder and louder in his ears.

"Oh, jeez, that sounded harsh. Um… Sollux, I really care about you, a lot. I just… you're a brother to me and… and I want to keep it that way. I don't have any feelings for you past that. Um… sorry."

"It'th okay," Sollux said softly. He felt a hand on his back.

"No you're _not_ okay, don't you dare think that I can't hear that shitty lisp. Damn it, I'm _really_ sorry, Sollux."

Sollux smiled a little.

"Will I ever even have a chanthe?"

"At what?"

"W-With you."

Pause.

"I can be who you want me to be," Sollux said, quickly descending into a place where he had never wanted to be. "If you want, I could even-"

"Sollux, just _stop_," Karkat interrupted, raising his voice a little. Sollux shut his mouth and gritted his teeth so hard that they creaked in protest. "You're going to fucking ruin our friendship if you keep begging. You're a better person than this. And you're a better friend than this, too, because fuck knows it that you're not the type to put me in the position of choosing between being in love with my best friend and having no best friend at all."

Inwardly, Sollux scrambled around to catch the falling pieces of his heart, which had shattered upon impact with Karkat's firm and unhesitant rejection. Outwardly, however, he just remained still, staring at the wall opposite of Karkat's room.

"Best bros?" Karkat finally asked, snapping Sollux out of his thoughtful trance. He looked over his shoulder again to see that Karkat had offered him his fist. Sollux gave him a half-hearted smile and formed a rigid fist with one hand. They bumped fists.

"Best bros."


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's chapter five, guys!**

**Just to let you all know, the last four chapters were solely for setting the scene and the characters, and were kind of prologue chapters. This chapter launches forward a few months in time to the story's main timeline/setting. Just so you know. From here on our, we'll really get the ball rolling (so those of you who were getting bored, bear with me a while longer! :3)**

**Also, I'm really proud of this chapter. Like. Really proud. You'll be able to tell when the story finally kicks into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! 3**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 5]<p>

_Oh_.

Oh yes, that was probably the worst thing to walk in on.

Nope, there really wasn't anything worse than seeing some guy's tongue shoved down the mouth of his girlfriend.

Great.

Just fuckin' great.

"Aradia."

The entangled couple, who had been seated on the leftmost bed in the dorm room while passionately kissing, jumped violently as their heads snapped towards the door and their hands rushed out of each other's shirts.

"Sollux," Aradia said, her voice dripping with dread under the sorry excuse for the surprised mask she attempted to put over it. She hurriedly scrambled off of her partner. "How'd you get in?"

"Spare key. Who's he?" Sollux asked, crossing his arms as he leaned casually against the doorframe.

"Um," the kid said. He nervously got to his feet before walking to Sollux and offering him his hand. "My name's Equius. Equius Zahhak."

Sollux stared down at the outstretched hand for a moment before flicking his gaze back up to Equius. When Equius realized that things were getting awkward, he withdrew his hand and looked nervously down at the ground. He looked back at Aradia for help, and she came forward with a guilty look on her face.

"Can we talk for a second, Sollux?" she asked. Sollux shrugged.

"Don't know if there's much more to say, but alright."

Aradia grimaced at Equius as she went to Sollux and took his arm. Once they were out the door and in the corridor of the third floor of her dormitory, Sollux began to pace as Aradia looked down at her feet.

"Sollux, I-"

"It's over. I know."

Silence.

"Look, I didn't want to hurt you," Aradia sighed, shaking her head a little as tears began to glisten at the corners of her eyes.

"But you cheated anyway," Sollux said, hating his own voice and how it had gotten a bit small and vulnerable.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I know it's a completely stupid thing for me to do. I'm so sorry."

"Why'd you do it?"

She sniffled.

"It's… it's just that you don't actually like me as much as I like you."

"How so?"

"You… you never call or text me. And you're always so secretive… I just want to know more about you."

"We've only been dating for a month, Aradia. We don't need to know everything about each other ye-"

"But I don't know _anything_ about you yet!" Aradia exclaimed, startling Sollux. He looked over his shoulder, and tears were running down Aradia's face. Sollux's lips quirked and he turned around.

"Aradia, don't _cry_…"

Sollux went to her and brought her into one of his arms, holding her head against his chest. He swayed with her a little, stroking her long, curly red hair. After a moment she gently pushed away, her eyes a bit red but drier.

"Sollux, I care about you so much. But… I'm so tired of this relationship already. It makes me want to pull my hair out!"

"What exactly am I doing to make this relationship so exhausting for you?"

"Okay, okay. Seriously," Aradia sighed. She backed away and crossed her arms. "You're apathetic. You're apathetic about life, about your classes-"

"I'm still alive, and I have a 3.9 avera-"

"-and you're apathetic about this relationship," Aradia said softly. She looked away as her lips trembled again. "And about _me_. It's really weighing down on my mind. And… and you're too demanding when we…"

"…have sex," Sollux finished bitterly. He bristled. "So you decide to just run off with this Equius… Equius what's-his-name kid instead of _talking to me about it?"_

"Sollux!" Aradia cried, stamping her foot and clenching her fists at her sides. "You can't act like I haven't tried to talk to you about it. I've tried like eight thousand times to sit down and talk to you about it, but when you're programming stuff, it's like you forget the rest of the world even exists!"

Sollux pursed his lips. Shit.

"W-Well… it's not like you care about me, either! You should've said something! And you _cheated!_"

Aradia furiously scrubbed her eyes.

"_I just told you I tried talking to you!_"

Aradia shook her head, her face contorted with angry disgust.

"_Aradia_," Sollux groaned as she moved to step around him and walk away.

Sollux followed her and wrapped his arm around her slightly chubby waist, stopping her from leaving.

"Aradia, stop, we can fix this. Please"

"No," she said without hesitation, side stepping Sollux's blockading arm and holding up her hands to signal for Sollux to back away. "It's not going to work. Equius is… Equius cares. He actually trusts me. _And_ he pulls his weight in our relationship."

"_Aradia_…"

His voice was practically a whisper.

"I tried," Aradia murmured. "I still love you. But… in a more platonic sense. I think we'll be better off as just friends. I'll…I'll keep on being your partner in English, too, so you don't have to worry about the project."

Sollux's fists clenched as he watched Aradia slowly back away from him.

"I really tried. But you make it really obvious that there's someone else that you like. Love, even. You don't have to physically cheat with someone to be unfaithful."

"I do no-" Sollux began heatedly.

"Don't lie to me," Aradia snapped. Her lips twitched a little, and a few more tears dripped down her face. She drew in a deep, shaking breath. "Because Sollux? My name's not '_Karkat'_."

With that, she turned on the spot, her eyes still locked on Sollux's.

_Wait_.

She began to walk away.

_Wait, Aradia._

She disappeared around the corner.

Sollux looked down at his feet for a second. He had been unable to bring the words to his lips, to vocalize them. Instead, he had stood there like the complete fucktard he was.

"Shit," Sollux hissed, throwing the side of his fist into a nearby plastic recycling bin. He stood there for a moment, fuming, before whipping around and stomping down the hall. "I don't need her. I don't need that whore. She cheated."

His snarled monologue brought him to the elevator and down to the first floor. He was still grumbling by the time he exited the dorm building and walked out into the crisp fall air. He furiously rummaged around in his yellow-and-black jacket pocket before yanking out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. Shaking with rage, he slipped one of the sticks out of the box and put it between his lips. It was hard to keep himself steady. Sollux raised his lighter and cupped his free hand around the tip of cigarette to guard it from the wind. Once the cigarette was lit, he shoved the lighter back in his pocket.

…and brushed something with his knuckles.

Sollux pulled out the strange object, and when he turned it over in his palm, he recognized it as Aradia's spare dorm key.

"God _damn_ it!" Sollux bellowed as best as he could with his cigarette in his mouth. Reeling his arm back, he hurled the key as far as he could possibly throw it. In a glint of sunlight, it disappeared somewhere in a patch of wilted grass that had been killed by the frost the night before. And with that, he trudged away from the dorm building, slouching even more than he usually did when he walked.

The University of Combfield was located in a somewhat isolated area of New York, where the big city was the backdrop and the surrounding countryside was the stage. The university was quite compact (as expected from a school that was so close to the city), and the whole thing was only about a fifteen-to-twenty minute walk from corner to corner.

Despite the towering skyscrapers in the near distance and the highways running on either side, the area was quite peaceful and quiet. Student-planted oak trees and flower beds sent whole rainbows of color over the entire campus, creating a wonderful atmosphere for social life and studying (maybe) in the spring and early fall. However, Sollux thought Combfield looked its best in the fall, when all of the rainbows melded into browns and yellows and reds, and the trees shed their leaves and let them flutter down onto the campus grounds.

But that time was nearly over. No longer were leaves raining down from the heavens and twirling about passersby's feet with a warm breeze. Now, the branches were nearly stripped bare, and the leaves whipped furiously to and fro in the chilly late-fall wind. Flags were taken down, most of the leaves were raked up and sent away, and storm doors were installed in preparation for the approaching winter snow. To be honest, Sollux was a little nervous about the whole thing. It snowed in Arizona of course, but being so far away from his home in the country still made him feel a little intimidated by the ever-looming big city in the distance. He was also quite scared of the coming snow; just how much worse were the blizzards up north than they were down south? The thought sent a shiver up Sollux's spine. At least Christmas break was right around the corner.

Speaking of which, fall break was in only about two weeks. The first portion of his first semester in his freshman year had proved to be a breeze for Sollux. At the moment, he was caught up in all of his General Education classes; his _Writing Composition_s, his _History 101_s, things that were pointless to him. In the vast amounts of free time he had (the only social life he had was with Karkat's new friends, his other best friend Dave, and his now ex-girlfriend) he sat at his computer and programmed.

And programmed.

_And programmed. _

It was all a blur to him, but in that time he had somehow started up smoking. Karkat hated it with a passion, but Sollux couldn't bring himself to give a fuck. He was legal and he was hurting no one but himself. He had every right. Along the lines he had picked up drinking as well, but…

Well, it wasn't like Sollux boasted about drinking as a minor. So he was okay, as far as he was concerned.

Sollux sighed, dropped his cigarette, and scuffed it out before reaching into his jeans pocket for his phone. He flipped it open and wrinkled his nose at the usual clusterfuck of texts from his _beloved_ uncle.

Great. Talk about shit-flavored frosting on the giant shit cake that was his shitty day. Sollux made good use of the 'Delete All' option.

When the messages were permanently deleted, Sollux punched in a well-memorized phone number and brought the phone to his ear. After a half a dozen rings or so, the other line picked up.

"_Yo."_

"Hey Dave. It's me."

"_Hey, yeah I knew it was you."_

Sollux chuckled through his nose a little and smirked to himself, shoving his free hand in his pocket to keep it warm.

"Still have me labeled as 'Biggetht Pimp'?"

"_Hell yeah."_

"You need to change that. You've never even heard my lisp, man. Just telling you a couple stories doesn't give you the rights to give me lisp-related labels," Sollux joked. Dave snorted on the other line.

"_Sure it does."_

"Very funny."

There was a small pause.

"_So? What'd you call for, man?"_

"Well," Sollux began, pulling his hand from his pocket to rub the side of his neck. "I walked in on Aradia cheating on me with some kid I've never even seen before."

"_Oh. Christ, man, I'm sorry."_

"No, don't worry about it."

"_You okay?"_

"…Yeah. I think she was more upset about it than me. I mean… yeah, I'm pretty pissed, but it was only for a month, you know?"

"_Yeah I know what you're sayin'."_

"So actually…" Sollux began, the rubbing on his neck getting a bit more fervent. "I… was wondering if you wanted to… you know, hook up tonight."

The long pause on the other line told Sollux that he wouldn't like the answer.

"_Aw, babe_," Dave finally sighed. Sollux's face contorted a little.

"Did John finally…?"

"_Make it official? Yeah. He's actually here right now."_

"Doin' the dirty on the phone? Gross."

"_Naw dude, just some cute-as-fuck cuddles and makeouts."_

There was a rustling sound from Dave's end, followed by a peal of giggles.

"Cool," Sollux said, a grin in his voice but not on his face. "Well then, enjoy your time being tied down to one guy, Mr. Strider."

"_Oh I don't know. I'm thinking that I'm starting to warm up a bit to Egderp over here. I like him better as a boyfriend rather than a best friend."_

"_Haha, hey! Fuck you, Dave!"_ said a voice in the background. More rustling.

"_Mmhm. Yes please. Where. Making. This. Happen."_

A _lot _of rustling.

"Ahahaha," Sollux laughed nervously. "Alrighty then, Dave. I'll let you and your new toy have your merry gay day."

"_Later."_

Sollux hung up and exhaled heavily, stuffing his phone back in his pocket.

"Jeez," he muttered. "What a shitty day."

First no girlfriend, then no possibility for casual, friendly sex. Nothing. Just him and his cigarettes.

"Happy fucking holidays," Sollux mumbled bitterly as he began to walk again, scuffing the bottoms of his Converse on the ground as he walked. With nothing better to do while he made his way back towards his dorm building, he retrieved his phone yet again and flipped it open. Thumb flying on the buttons, he set up a new text message.

_hey kk ii wa2 wonderiing iif your friiend ii2 2tiill haviing that party 2niight_

As usual, Karkat was quick to respond.

_GAMZEE? YEAH. WHY?_

Sollux rolled his eyes. Ever since he had accidentally sat on Karkat's phone and -_supposedly_- broken the caps lock button, Karkat had been giving him shit about it by just typing in all capitals. _All the time._

_are you goiing?_

_FUCK NO. I'VE GOT A FUCKTON OF SHIT TO GET DONE TONIGHT._

_but iit'2 friiday dude._

_DUDE I'M NOT EVEN TWENTY ONE YET AND NEITHER ARE YOU. GAMZEE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE A SHIT LOAD OF DRINKING AND SMOKING GOING ON, AND I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD GO BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR GOD DAMN MOTHER'S COUSIN IS GOING. YOU KNOW THE PARTY IS GONNA GET CRASHED BY THE COPS. I'M NOT JUST GOING TO LET MYSELF GET CAUGHT WITH MY SUCCULENT, SHINY PINK VIRGIN ASS STUCK UP IN THE AIR FOR SOME BEEFY COP TO COME ALONG AND BUTTFUCK IT FOR DRUGS THAT I DON'T EVEN HAVE._

_niice vi2ual2 kk_

_I'M JUST SAYING. I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULDN'T GO UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET YOUR ASS CAVITY SEARCHED._

_cop2 don't giive a fuck kk they know 2ome of u2 are underage. be2iide2 ii won't be driinkiing a ton. ii'm ju2t a biit up2et and ii ju2t want to party 2niight._

Running footsteps began to sound in the ears of a very oblivious Sollux.

_WHY?_

_aa broke up wiith me_

_WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?_

"…ait! _Wait! _Fef, wait, _please!_"

_nothiing. ii opened the door and 2he wa2 makiing out wiith 2ome a22hole ii've never 2een before_

The footsteps and shouting grew louder.

_YOU PROBABLY MADE A GIANT ASS OF YOURSELF._

_probably_

_WELL. JUST GET BACK TO OUR ROOM SO WE CAN TALK MORE ABOUT IT. _

_ok. ii'm almo2t there, want me to pick 2omething up at th-_

Before Sollux could finish his text, someone raced by him. Sollux looked up just in time for a second figure, who was also sprinting, to barrel straight into his shoulder.

The force of the blow nearly sent Sollux spinning to the ground, and before he could even register what had happened, he had been whipped around to face the opposite direction. The bulldozer who had hit him was also thrown around by the not-so-soft bump, and for a split second…

For a split second as both boys stumbled backwards, there was almost a lull in time. For a split second, it was almost as if time shenanigans had grabbed onto space's great grandfather clock and held time in place. For a split second, Sollux gazed into narrowed eyes, which were so bluish-gray that he could almost mistake them as purple.

His cheeks were flushed, his slightly dimpled chin trembling, his lips twisted into a terrible look of despair. His hair, which was a few shades lighter than Sollux's, and had a shock of vivid purple bangs sticking up from the front, was in wild disarray. His scarf was tangled around his neck, his jacket was unbuttoned and flailing about in the wind, and holy shit whatever this guy's problem was, he was in it _pretty fucking bad._

This was because the last thing Sollux noticed was that fact that the guy's eyes were full of tears-just chock full of them. But not a single drop fell, they all remained dangling on his long, black lashes or swimming in those gigantic eyes of his.

Holy God damn shitmongering fuck.

_Cutie_.

He was the cutest God damn thing Sollux had ever seen in his life, and man, was his heart seriously going doki-doki for this crybaby that was still, somehow, _very slowly_ stumbling backwards? Yes. Yes it was.

Sollux regained his footing and reached out towards the other guy to give him his most sincere apologies, and maybe just a sweet pickup line or two.

But before he could talk, the other stamped his foot, clenched his fists tightly at his sides, and took a huge breath.

"_WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU FUCKIN' LOWLIFE PRICK!_" he roared at the top of his lungs with a slight hint of a Scottish accent. The force of the yell -no, the _scream_, really- nearly knocked Sollux back on his ass.

Okay, no, _not_ a fucking cutie. Okay, maybe just a little psychopathic, fucking crazed demon psychopants with a knack for bellowing. Alrighty then. Definitely crossing this crazy fucker off the '_I'd Tap Dat So Hard, Dude'_ list.

With a final look of absolute disgust, The Purple Haired Wonder Queen spun around on his heels and ran away. Sollux stood there for a moment, stunned, as bystanders of the terrible catastrophe began whispering amongst themselves.

"Wow," Sollux whistled. "What a crazy bitch."

With that, he turned and continued on his way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Alrighty, here's chapter six! O:**

**This one is titled: "You'll Really Fucking Hate The Author After You Read The Last Sentence, And You'll See Why When You Get There"**

**Also, OHAC now has an official track tag on tumblr. If you'd like to track JUST chapter updates, track _#OHACupdates_. Basically it means you'll only see a notification on your dashboard when there's a new chapter, instead of getting disappointed when I only post about stupid shit in the OHAC tag. How convenient!**

**All fanart can be uploaded with the tag _#OHACfanart_. If you'd like me to see your fanart, I will be tracking that tag so you don't have to worry about sending me an ask or waiting for me to get online. I'll be sure to reblog it to the OHAC tag for all to see! :3**

**Thank you again for all of the support!**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 6]<p>

"I'm _tellin'_ you," Sollux continued, his body very animated as he told his story while perched on the edge of his bed. "The kid was batshit _insane!_"

Sollux jumped to his feet and began pacing, practically giddy with the sudden amount of absolute hilarity that had come into his life.

"Wow. Sounds to me like you found a match made in heaven," Karkat drawled from his computer chair, where he was typing up his English paper on his and Sollux's shared homework PC. Sollux only continued grinning as he went to his dresser and yanked off his shirt.

"Good lord," Rose piped in, glancing up from her miniature laptop. "Don't you know how to act in front of a lady?"

"_Two_ ladies," Kanaya corrected as Sollux threw the shirt down. Kanaya and Rose were situated on the floor in the middle of the room, their legs folded daintily to their sides as they both worked on their hobbies and future careers. Rose was typing away at her latest wizard story, whilst Kanaya had taken up knitting. She usually did a lot of sewing for her fashion design class, but she had been practicing knitting lately by making little hats and mittens to donate to nearby charities.

"Actually…" Rose trailed off. Sollux glanced over his shoulder. "Your boyish torso is simply too perfectly crafted to pass up. If you please, Sollux, may I use you as a reference for this young, strapping wizard I am placing in the story?"

Sollux grimaced, crossing his arms over his bare chest as he turned to face his and Karkat's friends.

"No, unless said 'strapping young wizard' isn't some rampant sex fiend."

Rose stared at Sollux for a moment with those sparkling gray eyes of hers.

"I don't recall there _ever_ being a character in my novels who isn't a rampant sex fiend."

"If I may interrupt for a moment, my dear," Kanaya said in her gentle, smooth voice. She cocked an eyebrow up at Sollux. "As far as I'm concerned, you are quite the copulation queen, Mister Captor."

"Ohh, that's right," Rose said, nodding. She smirked up at Sollux. "Oh yes, I wonder if he's sex deity now that he's had a lot of practice."

"We'll never identify the answer now, will we, Rose?" Kanaya cooed, and both girls let out identical peals of laughter.

"Ouch. Nice to know my friends see me as a manwhore," Sollux said with a frown as he turned back to his dresser and began digging for a shirt to wear. Kanaya and Rose were such sass queens. Sollux somewhat expected it from Kanaya, who was basically the definition of the stereotypical 'sassy black woman'. She was in fact of a darker color, but she wasn't necessarily full-on _black_. But definitely not Caucasian, either. She was a lovely contrast to Rose, who was about as pasty and white as anyone could get. But in Sollux's eyes, they were _both_ sassy black women to the highest power.

"You were setting yourself up for that one, babydoll," Kanaya sang.

Sollux found a turtleneck sweater and pulled it over his head, adjusting it so it sat right on his torso. It was a little big, as was almost all clothing on him, but he didn't mind. The cozy sweater was black with a yellow stripe rung around each of his forearms, and a yellow zigzag that rung around his upper chest.

"What d'ya think?" Sollux asked, turning around and outstretching his arms. Kanaya frowned.

"Well, not quite the attire that one would wear when going to a party, I think," she pointed out, tapping her chin with one of her black-and-jade fake nails.

"M'not going," Sollux said with a shrug. Karkat turned in his computer chair.

"The hell? I thought you said you wanted to go!"

"I do. But now I'm thinking that I kinda want to hang out with you guys. I just don't want to be around other people right now."

"Oh, thank goodness. We thought you might have gotten tired of our presence. Or maybe that you were feeling mortified by us simply being in your general vicinity," Rose said dryly, pretending to wipe the sweat from her brow.

"How could he possibly be embarrassed by my absolutely _fabulous_ hair?"

Kanaya flicked back her short, dyed-black hair, which had traces of green in it. In certain angles of light, Kanaya's hair was black, and in others, it was green. Sollux laughed a little before flopping down on his bed.

"I could never be sick of you guys. Just _people_."

"We're as close as you can get to perfect," Rose said. She got to her feet and went to Sollux's bed, then plopped down beside him. "What's got you all depressed?"

"Aradia broke up with me," Sollux sighed.

"And then that little hooligan barreled into you and nearly sent you spinning into your demise? Poor baby," Rose cooed. Sollux snickered and lightly smacked Rose's thigh.

"Shut up, haha."

"What did this 'hooligan' look like?" Kanaya asked.

"He was obviously a flamer."

Kanaya cracked up as Rose slapped Sollux's knee.

"Says you!"

"Says _all_ ya'll," Karkat interjected, looking over his shoulder with a frightening scowl on his face. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to wake up next to a man with an aching asshole because I hang out with you losers and your gay shenanigans."

"I like girls too, dude."

"He chastises us for being lesbians, yet he's the only virgin in the room."

"Sure says something about the 'pure' people," Sollux sighed, folding his arms beneath his head.

"Fuck you and this 'pure' bullshit. Being gay or whatever doesn't make you any less pure than me," Karkat said, waving his hand with dismissive frustration. "I like you guys just the way you are, so shut your damn mouths about it."

Rose and Kanaya glanced at each other with knowing smiles on their faces, and Sollux smirked a bit and rolled over onto his side.

"What do you guys want to do?" Sollux groaned. "I'm bored as fuck."

"Anything you would like," Rose answered, falling back and lying on Sollux. Kanaya got to her feet, revealing her true height of six whopping feet and one inch. She went to Sollux's bed.

"I wish to join in on this cuddle puddle," she purred, then proceeded to sprawl out on top of both Sollux and Rose, making them wheeze and giggle.

"No orgies in my room," Karkat said, wholly uninterested as he typed furiously at the computer.

"I want to go out to eat," Sollux said, ignoring Karkat and putting his arms around the shoulders of both Rose and Kanaya, who had decided to snuggle either side of Sollux's body. "Something fancy."

"How about that new Italian restaurant that opened?" Rose suggested.

"The one downtown?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah, that sounds good. Karkat, you coming too?"

"I _told_ you I have a bunch of shit to do!" Karkat snapped. "Besides, does it _look_ like I need more fatty foods in my life?"

Everyone's eyes went to Karkat's belly, which had grown a bit bigger since he had started his freshman year. It wasn't exactly the freshmen fifteen yet, but… it was getting there.

"Honey, you're stunningly, breathtakingly, absolutely handsome in every way," Kanaya crooned. She pretended to faint. "Why, I could go completely heterosexual for just your… your gorgeous _gluteus maximus._"

Karkat stiffened and flushed red for a moment before furiously whipping around in his chair.

"I'll toss your stupid sewing machine right out the fucking _window!_"

"I'll toss your _soul_ out the window," Kanaya replied, her face as pleasant as ever but her voice holding an undertone of absolute evil and the hiss of vampire.

If there was one person Karkat didn't cross, it was Kanaya.

"Fucking fine. I'll go. But I get to ride with Sollux. Not you two crazies," Karkat grumbled, gesturing lazily to Kanaya and Rose. They giggled and disentangled themselves from Sollux, then sat up.

"Perfect. Then we will enjoy some extraordinarily sloppy makeouts to the tune of renaissance music. Perhaps some Beethoven as well," Rose said, reaching over and taking Kanaya's hand.

"Ooh, Miss Lalonde, _ooh_," Kanaya cooed, pretending to bashfully turn her head away.

"_Lesbians_," Karkat huffed as he shut down the computer. He then slid out of the chair, much like a puddle would, and pooled on the floor. He began crawling on his hands and knees across the carpet before finally flopping down. "Ugh, I'm too fat for this. Just bring me back leftovers."

Sollux sat up.

"You're not fat," he said. He got out of bed and joined Karkat on the floor, then proceeded to sprawl half of his body over his friend's back. He nuzzled up to Karkat's burning red ear with his lips, then slowly let out a warm puff of air. "I'll tickle you into coming with us."

Karkat scarcely had time to protest before Sollux's fingers were all over him, viciously tickling him. With a shrill caterwaul, Karkat fought back just as violently, ripping and tearing at anything he could grab hold of. Sollux couldn't stop smiling.

Up above, Kanaya and Rose turned to give each other a worried look.

* * *

><p>"God damn it, why is your pickup so fucking loud?" Karkat asked above the dull roar of the engine of Sollux's old, rusty pickup truck. Sollux snorted and glanced over at Karkat with his newly-earned scratch just below his eye.<p>

"Because shut up."

"_Because shut up_," Karkat mocked in a force falsetto voice. He crossed his arms and sank down in his seat, pouting. "Fuck you, dick."

"Right back at you."

They remained quiet for a few more minutes, staring blankly ahead of them. It was a clear, beautiful autumn night. The crescent moon hung above in solemn silence, casting its bright light down upon the road in such a way that nearly distracted Sollux from oncoming headlights.

"You're such a lazy driver," Karkat sighed from his seat. Sollux looked over again to see that he was leaning up against the window, with his hand between his head and the glass to stop it from being jostled around too much.

"How so?"

"You hardly even touch the wheel. You're practically driving with your knees."

"And? I'm straight on course, aren't I?"

"…You're makin' me nervous."

Sollux snuck a peek over at Karkat once again to see that he had shut his eyes. He noticed that Karkat's opposite hand was resting on his thigh, and he timidly reached over.

"_Sollux_," Karkat said in a quiet, warning tone as Sollux's fingers glided over the back of his hand, tracing each of the bones that were there. Sollux didn't listen, but Karkat didn't pull his hand away, either. "Sollux, don't."

Sollux's fingers wriggled their ways under Karkat's hand, then flipped it so his palm was facing upwards. He forced his fingers between each of Karkat's, then dragged his hand to the middle of the three-person seat to rest there. Karkat let out a sigh of defeat and relaxed against the window once more.

"What are you going to do when I get a girlfriend?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to be able to face it on your own?"

"I don't know."

"Then why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"I don't fucking know, okay?"

Sollux glared at the road ahead of him, refusing to look at his friend again. He felt his heart begin to crack when he squeezed Karkat's hand and didn't receive a squeeze in return. It was like holding on to something inanimate and lifeless, like a cellphone or a pack of gum. Nothing.

"I'm not about to hurt my best friend. But I don't want to lose you, either," Karkat sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So make up your fucking mind. Are you going to take the pain now and avoid getting it even worse later, or are you going to sit there and let things fester until I get a girlfriend? I'm not going to wait for you to get over this, because I've already got my sights set on someone else."

Sollux swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry and full of burning ashes.

"Who is it?"

"I'm not telling you," Karkat said without hesitation. "Because I want to be with her and nobody's going to fuck that up for me. Not even my best friend."

"I see."

"I don't see what you like so much about me in the first place."

"Me neither."

"Then why?"

"I don't know."

"Ugh! You don't know fucking _anything!_"

"I can't explain my feelings for you."

"Did you even like Aradia at _all?_"

"As a friend, sure."

"You really are a terrible person."

Sollux's eyes creased a little, and he was silent. Karkat groaned and unbuckled his seat belt. He slid into the middle seat and re-buckled himself there. He settled against Sollux's side and, although his grip didn't tighten, his hand remained in Sollux's.

"What about Dave? I thought you two had… a thing."

"It was just casual sex. And he's officially dating John now, so I can't just hook up with him anymore."

"How can you even do that to yourself in the first place?" Karkat asked, his voice rising in volume a little. "That stuff should be saved for someone special!"

"You _think?_" Sollux snapped loudly, making Karkat jump. There was a long, awkward moment of silence, and for a split second Sollux began to panic. Shit. He had been backed into a corner.

But when he glanced at Karkat's face, it was apparent that Karkat blamed himself. He thought Sollux's outburst had been about him. Thank God.

"I don't want to hurt you," Karkat said, and his voice was uncharacteristically soft.

"Then why are you holding my hand?"

"Because I don't know what to do," Karkat hissed. He put his head in his free hand. "Do you know how much of a shitty friend you're being by putting me in this position?"

"Yeah."

"Do you now?"

"Yeah. I've come to accept that I'm a lousy person with a fucked up personality and a shitty sense of mood. Sue me."

"I should."

"Do it, I dare you."

Silence.

Karkat leaned his head on Sollux's shoulder and settled there after a moment, and Sollux didn't wait even a second before returning the affectionate gesture and leaning his head on Karkat's hair.

* * *

><p>"So, you never described to me what that hooligan looked like," Kanaya asked as she inspected her after-dinner mint before popping it into her mouth. Sollux, who had been staring blankly at the salt shaker on the table, looked up with a start.<p>

"Huh?"

"The hooligan. The guy who decided to completely run you over today."

"Oh, him. Well, he was wearing a scarf. And he had purple in his hair."

Kanaya stared at Sollux for a moment before leaning back in her seat.

"Oh really?"

"Do you know him?"

"Know him?" Rose piped in. "I think I know who you're talking about. We wonder about him as well. He's in Technical Writing with us."

"What's his name?"

"Eridan Ampora, I believe. Yes, he's quite the handful. He has this belief in his head that he is far superior to any of us."

"Who woulda thunk it," Sollux sighed, putting his elbow on the table and resting his head on his palm.

"He sounds like a bumbling idiot. Not to mention a giant flaming asshole," Karkat grumbled around his mint.

"Oh, he is the flamey-est of all the assholes," Kanaya sighed, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes I could just take a chainsaw to his head."

"He is quite handsome, though," Rose pointed out. "Who knows? Maybe you'll take a liking to him where we have not, Sollux."

"_Really?_" Sollux squealed with false enthusiasm. His face turned wry. "Sounds like a picnic."

"You'd surely get along," Kanaya teased. Sollux leaned back in the booth and crossed his arms, his lips quirked to the side.

"Oh really? Do tell."

"Well from what I hear, it seems that you both are whiny bitches," Karkat said.

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" Rose exclaimed, flailing her hands a bit. Sollux scowled.

"Not funny."

"Oh, lighten up," Kanaya urged, reaching across the table to lightly smack Sollux's arm. "We're just teasing you. We understand that it has been a rough day for you."

Rose looked up from her laptop and grinned.

"I have completed chapter three!"

"Congratulations, my dear, I'm positively quivering with anticipation. May I perhaps read it when we get back to our dormitory?" Kanaya asked sweetly, putting her hand over Rose's on the table.

"Of course!"

"Can we _leave_ now, then?" Karkat drawled.

"Actually I was wondering if you would like to see a film of sorts before we head home," Kanaya said, resting her elbows on the table and propping her chin on her knuckles. "What say you?"

"Depends…" Karkat said slowly.

"It's a romantic comedy. Quite humorous, from the reviews that I've skimmed on the ever-knowing World Wide Web."

"Well then," Karkat said, slapping his hands down on the table. "I'm sold. Sollux, wanna go?"

"Nah, I think I'll head over to Gamzee's party and catch the last few hours of it," Sollux said. Karkat's brows wrinkled.

"Sollux…"

"Oh dear," Kanaya sighed. "Karkat, why not just let the poor fellow go? He's got enough on his plate to fret over."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about," Karkat said, his eyes glued to Sollux's. Sollux didn't respond, but instead got to his feet.

"Kanaya, Rose, mind taking Karkat to the movie?"

"Of course not."

"Don't you need a designated driver?" Karkat asked loudly, practically falling over himself in the booth to get to Sollux.

"I'm not going to drink. Just hang out. Maybe provide a 'designated driver' service."

"Text me as soon as you get there. And when you leave. And when you get home."

"Fine."

"I'm serious. I'll call the police if I don't hear from you."

Sollux nodded and turned away, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He left the restaurant and walked out into the freezing night wind, hunching his shoulders against the cold.

Almost immediately, a lit cigarette was in his mouth, and Sollux was greedily puffing away. He stood outside the restaurant for a few minutes, watching as the grey wisps of smoke was blown away with the wind.

Terrible person, huh? Shitty friend… huh?

Fuck, the headache was coming back. Sollux briefly raised his hand to rub at his temple in vain. As he did, he walked across the parking lot to his truck, where he climbed in. With a twist of the key in the ignition, it roared to life and Sollux escaped the restaurant.

The trip back home wasn't too far, as the restaurant was more on the outskirts of town. Before long, Sollux was back on the country road, and his arm was hanging freely out the window with his cigarette between his index and middle fingers.

Once he was near the campus, he turned left down a street of university dorm houses. A handful of them were already lit up for the holidays. A few of them had very elaborate decorations - party houses. Gamzee's was one of those places.

Gamzee's house, of course, was practically vibrating with music and light. Sollux could already see it, all the way down at the end of the cul-de-sac. He sped up a little to get to it, surpassing the 10-miles-an-hour speed limit. Holy shit he really needed a drink.

But as Sollux drove towards Gamzee's house, he didn't register what was going on on either side of his vehicle. So it was no surprise that, when it happened, Sollux barely had time to react.

Someone ran out in front of his truck.


	7. Chapter 7

**Alright, here's the next chapter! I just hate leaving readers with cliffhangers. :(**

**Also, thank you to _ciendol _and _mixeurachakra _for their lovely fanart pieces! :) You can see their fanart by going to http:/sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/ohacfanart. **

**EDIT:: thanks IDIOTcence for pointing out that minor quirk error! I found it and it is now fixed. :3  
><strong>

**Enjoy~ :3**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 7]<p>

Thank God Sollux was going pretty slow, because if the multitude of obscenities that spewed forth from his lips got any more intense, his head surely would have exploded. He slammed on the brakes and almost violently turned the wheel. The back of his car swung out, and just as he came to a stop, he heard a dull _thud_.

"Shit!" Sollux barked, fumbling with the buckle of his seat belt. His heart leapt to his throat as he tore out of his truck and stumbled around to the other side. "Oh my God, shit, _shit!_ Are you okay? _Hello?_ Is anyone there?"

The answering groan gave Sollux a point of reference, and he fell to his knees and scrambled to a black mass upon the ground. He flipped it over, becoming dizzy when he realized it was, indeed, a body.

"Are you okay? Hello?" Sollux asked frantically, desperation beginning to sink in. He felt his throat constrict. What was he going to do? What would he say?

Sollux scooped up the limp body into his arms and, with a strained grunt, lifted it. He went as fast as he could to the back of his truck, where he leaned the body on himself so he could open the hatch. He hoisted the body onto the bed of the pickup truck and proceeded to flip the fuck out.

"Oh God, pleathe no," Sollux whispered, his hands grabbing at the face, the neck, the chest, anything. "Pleathe. Oh God, pleathe, Dad _help me_."

Sollux reached into his jacket pocket and clumsily took out his phone, but he was shaking so hard he could barely grasp it. That's when it hit him.

Wait.

Stop.

_Relax._

Sollux took a deep breath and turned back to the body on the bed of his pickup truck. He reached up and held his hand under its nose.

…and was blessed with steady puffs of warm air.

"Oh thank Jethuth," Sollux breathed. He put his head down on the chest of his poor victim. "Thank you. _Thank you."_

When he raised himself again, he was faced with a new predicament. He had an unidentified body in the back of his pickup. Couldn't just leave it here, couldn't bring it back to the party. Sollux sighed and flipped his phone open so he could pass the light over the body.

Okay, it was a guy. Purple plaid sneakers, black skinny jeans, a purple plaid (more purple plaid? God damn) button-up shirt with ripped sleeves, a plethora of jewelry, purple shock of hair amongst light brown-

Oh.

Oh _shit_.

It was Cutie no actually I mean the Purple Haired Wonder Queen I mean the Ediran or Eridumb or however his name was pronounced guy.

What a fucking coincidence.

"Christ," Sollux cursed. He thought for a moment, then grabbed PHWQ's face and turned it to and fro. His cheeks were flushed even more red than when Sollux had seen him before. Oh, so he was drunk. He must have passed out in the middle of the road, and the thud Sollux heard was probably just his thick skull hitting the ground. Perfect.

Now what? Sollux had an unconscious cutie in the bed of his pickup truck. Shit. It would look so bad if the cops caught him.

Sollux scooped his arms under PHWQ's knees and back, then struggled to lift him and bring him around to the passenger seat of the pickup. He was almost there when he felt a crunch underneath his feet. Grimacing with dread, he struggled to get PHWQ into the seat before inspecting what he had damaged.

It ended up being a pair of thick-rimmed hipster glasses. Sollux rolled his eyes, kicked the useless junk into a nearby bush, then walked around to get in the driver's seat.

When he got there, PHWQ was shivering violently in his slumber. Sollux sighed and shrugged out of his jacket, then threw it over PHWQ's shoulders.

"Should dress more appropriately," Sollux grumbled. He turned up the heat all the way in his truck, and even though it was sweltering for him, he waited until his passenger had stopped shivering in his sleep. Getting back out of his truck to close the hatch, Sollux pulled out his phone and opened up a new text message.

_deciided not to go. headiing home_

_GOOD. I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW HOURS._

* * *

><p>"Hey. Hey… wake up. We're back at the school," Sollux said, shaking his passenger's shoulder to no avail. With a growl of frustration, Sollux began patting PHWQ down, looking for any sort of clues. He found his wallet in his back pocket, and he pulled it out. Opening it, he checked all of the cards and money inside. Finally, he found PHWQ's ID card. "Here we go."<p>

_Eridan Ampora - Freshman_

Oh. So he was in Sollux's grade. Sollux flipped the card over and found Eridan's building and dorm room number, and it just so happened to be closer than Sollux and Karkat's dormitory building. Sollux memorized the number with ease, then tucked the card back in his wallet.

Out of pure curiosity, he also checked the money pocket.

And it was chock full of hundred dollar bills.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sollux groaned. He glared down at the little prick in his passenger seat. "How are you even still alive?"

Sollux shut the wallet (but not before grabbing a hundred dollar bill or two and shoving them in his pocket to teach this social dipshit a lesson) and stuffed it back in Eridan's back pocket. Then, with a lot of struggling and jostling, he somehow hoisted Eridan onto his back and bumped his pickup truck door shut with his hip.

The walk was long and strenuous on Sollux's body, as he often had to stop and catch his breath. Even though Eridan was pretty damn thin, his body was dense and heavy with muscles. This was a challenge for Sollux, seeing as he was about the equivalent of a twig. Muscles? Yeah, maybe in his fingers from typing so much.

Once he got to the building and was on the elevator, he breathed a sigh of relief upon being able to relax. He bounced a little to adjust Eridan on his back, then watched the buttons of the elevator light up as it rose higher and higher.

"Top floor, huh?" Sollux commented, raising an eyebrow. Mommy and Daddy must've set Eridan up pretty good. Sollux scowled.

When he got there, Sollux was mildly surprised to see small chandeliers hanging from the ceiling of the long hall. Despite its length, there were only about five doors on each side, each with a gold-plated number emblazoned into the surface of the oak doors.

This kid was one classy motherfucker.

"Room 413, room 413, room 413," Sollux chanted under his breath, checking each door as he passed them. When he got to the room, he set Eridan down on the floor and propped him up against the wall. Eridan let out a gurgling sound, then twitched in his sleep. Sollux wrinkled his nose in disgust, then knelt on the floor beside Eridan to fish around in his front pockets. When he found the key, he unlocked the door and pushed it open before getting to his feet.

"How am I going to do this…?" Sollux asked the air, nibbling his lip. It was nearly midnight. There was no way he could go to the administration's office. So instead, he grabbed Eridan by the shoulders of his shirt and began to drag him into the room. Sollux prayed that no one would pass in the hallway to see him dragging an unconscious pretty boy into the dark depths of the room. His reputation. Oh God, his reputation.

With a huge grunt, Sollux was able to find a bed and throw Eridan onto it. He hoped it was at least _Eridan's _bed. He went back to the door and quickly shut it, then found a light switch and lit up the room.

It was huge. It had passed the expectations of a regular dorm, instead blowing up to a full-on suite. Sollux hadn't throw Eridan onto a bed, it was a huge _white lounging couch._

Directly off the door was a kitchenette with a tile floor and marble countertops. It was complete with a full-sized stainless steel refrigerator, a miniature stovetop, a sink, and holy shit was that a _trash compactor? _In the middle of the suite was a glass table with fancy, artsy-fartsy legs, and in the middle of that was a glass bowl full to the brim with what looked like mini oranges.

Beyond the table was the rest of the living area, the white couch on which Eridan was sprawled, a plasma screen wall television with a marble fireplace located directly below it, a coffee table with an array of carefully organized textbooks and papers, and more glass end tables. Behind that setup was a huge window that stretched from the floor to the arched ceiling, and it offered a beautiful view of the campus grounds. Located in front of the window were a few armchairs facing the glass- a little viewing area. Perhaps for reading as well, because against the adjacent wall were two huge bookshelves. Even though they were big, it apparently wasn't enough because littering the floor beneath the bookshelves were even more books.

And of course there was the obligatory homework computer located in the corner, although it look a lot more fancy and expensive than Sollux and Karkat's shared computer. And even more expensive than Sollux's personal laptop, even.

Sollux was hit with a wave of jealousy. He shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked off his shoes on the welcome mat, then stepped into the overwhelmingly white room. Everything was white. Carpet, walls, ceiling. The only color that was offered to the room was the wide variety of art pieces that was all over the walls. Many of the paintings were of musical instruments, theatre, or of the ocean, and a few of them were actual photographs of Eridan and some other people whom Sollux didn't recognize.

"Well, well, well," Sollux whistled. "Cutie's a ri-"

"Why did you hit the brakes?"

Sollux jumped violently and whipped his head to Eridan, who had opened his eyes but had not moved and inch. He wasn't even looking at Sollux, just staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Why did you stop?"

"Huh?" Sollux asked incredulously. "You're fucking wasted. You're lucky I haven't been drinking! I could've hit you!"

Eridan blinked rapidly and a few tears rolled down the sides of his face. With clumsy hands, he reached up and scrubbed pitifully at his eyes, completely missing the tears.

"F-Fef," he slurred in a tiny voice before he descended into quiet sobs. Sollux scratched the back of his head.

"Uh…" he trailed off, feeling awkward and out of place. "I'm gonna leave, then…"

He slowly turned around and began to walk, but when he was nearly to the door, Eridan began to practically wail.

"Awwwww _man!_" Sollux groaned, tipping his head back in frustration. He went to the dining table and plucked one of the little orange things from the pile, and as he walked back to the couch he began to peel it. He knelt on the floor and pulled the freshly peeled orange apart. "Stop crying, man. You're being a little pussy."

Sollux detached one of the little wedges from the orange half and poked Eridan's lips with it. When Eridan didn't respond, Sollux poked him a bit more and more until he was practically jabbing Eridan in the mouth with it. Then, without warning, the orange wedge squished and orange juice was all over Eridan's face.

"Oops," Sollux said. Then, he laughed. "C'mon! Eat it!"

Eridan slowly opened his lips and Sollux dropped the remains of the orange into his mouth. He continued to laugh with amusement, then was about to pull his hand away. But before he could, Eridan snatched it up and kept it in place.

"What are you-?"

Sollux's voice hitched as Eridan dragged his fingers into his mouth, then proceeded to suck and lick the juice off of Sollux's fingers.

"Holy shit," Sollux breathed, unable to look away as Eridan's hips began to rock and his eyelids began to flutter. "You really are _wasted_."

Eridan moaned and detached himself from Sollux's fingers, only to prop himself up on one elbow and lean over to latch onto Sollux's neck. Sollux remained silent as a very clumsy and unskilled tongue lapped at his collar. Instead, he put his hand on Eridan's shoulder and made a half-assed attempt to push him away.

He was cute. Kind of batshit insane, but cute. And Sollux hadn't had a one night stand in… how long was it now? A while. And the last time he had casual sex with another man…

Sollux discarded the orange onto the coffee table and crawled up onto the couch. His knee was immediately and skillfully wedged between Eridan's legs, nudging the rapidly growing heat between his thighs. Eridan hissed into the now moistened flesh of Sollux's neck, his hips jerking a bit. Sollux lowered his head to kiss Eridan's collar, then trailed his way down until Eridan could no longer reach his neck.

His breathing became panting in a matter of seconds as Sollux began to unbutton his shirt at an agonizingly slow place, replacing each button with a wet kiss. Once he had lowered himself completely and the last button had been unbuttoned, Sollux parted his shirt with a sigh. His abs were amazingly defined yet somehow subtle, not managing to take away from the curve of his boyish hips. Definitely a pretty boy. A smoking, hot mess of a pretty boy.

Sollux raised his head to attack Eridan's face, but upon looking up, he realized that his partner had passed out once again. He stared for a moment, then tried to sit up. But Eridan's arms were still tightly wrapped around his neck, prohibiting him from moving too far.

All Sollux could do was flop down beside Eridan and wedge himself between the vodka-filled man and the back of the couch. Fucking perfect.

Eridan reeked of alcohol, the lights were still on, Sollux was fully clothed, and he didn't have his God damn stuffed bee. There was no way he was going to fall asleep anytime soon.

But then, Sollux had an idea. He extended his arms behind Eridan's back and experimentally clapped twice. Not surprisingly, the lights dimmed and shut off.

…and the fireplace flickered and came to life!

"Rich bastard," Sollux grumbled, settling into the couch. He grabbed a nearby pillow and lied his head upon it, then dragged Eridan closer so his head could also rest on the pillow.

Before he forgot, Sollux grabbed his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open, illuminating his face and making him squint.

_plan2 changed. ii'm 2pendiing the niight at 2omeone el2e'2 place._

_SERIOUSLY?_

_yeah ii'm 2eriiou2_

_YOU'RE NOT DRINKING OR ANYTHING?_

_no ii had to play de2iignated driiver ju2t liike ii saiid and now ii'm iin kiind of a compromii2iing po2iitiion for a lack of a better term_

_I SEE. GOODNIGHT THEN._

_niight_

Sollux snapped his phone shut, but just before he could put it back in his pocket, his phone buzzed again. He flipped it open once more.

_SOLLUX?_

_yeah_

_ARE WE STILL FRIENDS_

_of cour2e kk why the fuck wouldn't we be_

_LOOK, I LOVE YOU BUT NOT IN THAT WAY._

Sollux began to type his answer, but his phone vibrated before he could finish. He exited his message so he could check the new one.

_I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A BAD PERSON OR ANYTHING._

_ii know you don't_

_DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME I SAW YOUR FACE_

_ii'm over iit don't worry_

…_YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN SUCH A HARD POSITION. IT'S REALLY FUCKING STRESSING ME OUT. _

_kk wiill you go out wiith me_

It was a long time before Sollux got an answer.

_NO._

_2ee iit'2 a2 2iimple a2 that_

_BUT I KNOW IT HURTS YOU, THAT'S WHAT'S HARD_

_then why can't you ju2t go out wiith me_

_BECAUSE I KNOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO LOVE YOU BACK. I WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND ENJOY IT. IN THE END YOU'D JUST GET HURT AND OUR FRIENDSHIP WOULD GET FUCKED UP. AND FRANKLY SOMETIMES I WORRY ABOUT YOU. I FEEL LIKE ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'RE JUST GOING TO WANT TO ERASE YOURSELF FROM THIS WORLD BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING DIPSHIT AND YOU'D TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE OR SOMETHING. _

_can't you ju2t try_

_YOU'RE FUCKING BEGGING AGAIN._

_ii can't help iit ii want thii2 2o bad kk you have no iidea _

_plea2e kk_

_GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, CAPTOR. I HOPE YOU FRY IN HELL FOR ALL OF THE SHIT YOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH._

_me too_

_WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THIS BETTER. SERIOUSLY I'M GOING TO FUCKING CRY BECAUSE OF YOU._

_don't cry what the fuck kk_

_WHAT CAN I DO. PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME BECAUSE I'M FUCKING CLUELESS._

_go out wiith me_

_GOD DAMNIT SOLLUX_

_kii22 me_

_IF I KISS YOU WILL YOU BACK OFF_

_no but iit'll make me feel better_

_FINE_

_really_

_IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SUCH A SHITTY FRIEND BECAUSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOU'RE A STUBBORN LITTLE EMO PUSSY AND I HATE YOU FOR THAT._

_you're not 2hiitty_

_you're the oppo2iite of 2hiitty_

_STOP IT_

_you're amaziing and ii love you_

_STOP SOLLUX I'M FUCKING SERIOUS I WILL FUCKING BLOCK YOU FROM MY CONTACTS IF YOU SAY ANOTHER FUCKING WORD._

_ju2t let me love you kk_

_ju2t for a liittle biit longer_

_plea2e_

_OH MY GOD FUCK YOU._

_WELL CAPTOR YOU CAN PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK_

_YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE A ROTTEN PILE OF SHIT. _

_YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER TEXTING ME BACK BECAUSE I WON'T ANSWER._

_FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE EMO METEOR YOU RODE IN ON._

_GOOD FUCKING NIGHT._

Sollux's thumb trembled as he tried to text Karkat back.

_waiit kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk_

His thumb remained pressed on the 'k' key as he choked out a sob and covered his mouth with his free hand. His tears dripped into Eridan's hair.

He _really_ wanted his stuffed bee.

Sollux exited out of the message before he could send it and scrolled down his list of contacts.

_hey mom the per2on ii love doe2n't love me and ii thiink they miight hate me now_

No answer.

_what do ii do mom _

No answer.

_mom what do ii do ii don't know what to do anymore_

No answer.

_ii'm 2o 2iick and tiired mom plea2e an2wer ii need help_

No answer.

_ii don't want to liive anymo_

Before Sollux could finish the text, his phone slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor. Sollux's entire body convulsed and more tears cascaded down the side of his face and into the pillow and Eridan's hair. He wrapped his arms tightly around Eridan and nearly smothered him, biting back the wails he desperately wanted to release. For now, Eridan would be his stuffed bee.

But just like his bee, hugging an unconscious drunken pretty boy couldn't solve all of his problems.

It was officially the shittiest day of Sollux Captor's life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Not much to say, so I'll keep my big ol' mouth shut. eUe' I received some fanart from fans, and I'll announce them at a later time, as I am _exhausted_! This chapter was _long!_  
><strong>

**Here you go. :3**

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><p>[Chapter 8]<p>

The smell of brewing coffee pulled Sollux out of his deep sleep, and his eyes slowly peeled open to reveal white, high-arched ceilings and a spinning ceiling fan. He was vaguely aware of a thin blanket covering his lower body. At first, his heart leapt to his throat. Where the fuck was he? Did he get wasted last ni-

Oh.

_Oh._

Sollux cautiously looked down his nose towards the source of the smell and sound of coffee being made. He spotted Eridan sitting on one of the barstools beside his counter almost immediately, and Sollux raised his head and grabbed his glasses from the coffee table to get a better look.

He appeared to be fiddling with one of his weird tiny oranges, pulling apart each individual wedge and absentmindedly stacking them on top of each other. Amused by the sight, Sollux smirked ever so slightly and sat up.

"What would your mother say about playing with your food?"

Eridan jumped violently, knocking over his stack of orange wedges. He turned to face Sollux, his eyes wide like a deer's. Sollux chuckled a little and ran his hand through his hair.

"…Morning."

"G-Good mornin'," Eridan replied, clearing his throat. Oh God, he _did_ have a Scottish accent. Not too thick at all, but still noticeable. How adorable. "Uh…"

"Black."

"Huh?"

"I like my coffee black."

"Oh," Eridan replied. He stood from his stool. He appeared to have recently taken a shower, as he was wrapped up in a robe and his hair looked a little damp.

Sollux lied back down on the couch as he listened to Eridan pouring a cup of coffee. Then, Eridan appeared beside him, a mug in each hand. Sollux sat up to receive the coffee with a cool nod, then kept his eyes locked on Eridan as he slowly went to a nearby armchair and sank down in it.

"Excuse me if this is… personal," Eridan said slowly. He refused to look Sollux in the eye. "But who's… Kenneth?"

Sollux paused, raising an eyebrow as he lifted his coffee cup to his lips.

"My uncle. Why?"

Eridan gulped audibly.

"…He wants you to do dirty things with him."

Sollux froze, staring blankly ahead of him. He practically threw his coffee cup down on the table, making the liquid slosh around a little and splash onto one of the papers that sat there. Eridan practically screamed.

"_Are you fuckin' retarded? That coffee's never gonna come out!_" Eridan shrieked. But Sollux paid him no heed, and he instead flung himself off of the couch. Eridan barely had time to set his cup aside before Sollux was upon him, hands grabbing for Eridan's neck.

"I'll break your fucking neck!" Sollux bellowed, eyes wild with fury. Eridan stared up at him, wide-eyed, as his hands fought to keep Sollux's away. "If you tell a thingle fucking thoul, _I'll break your thcrawny fucking neck!_"

"I won't!" Eridan barked, lurching forward and practically throwing Sollux off of him. Sollux reeled backwards and fell into the couch, panting.

"How the fuck did you find out?" Sollux asked heatedly.

"Your phone. You left the damn thing on the floor last night!"

"Jethuth Chritht," Sollux hissed, putting his head in his hands.

"That's quite the nasty _lisp_ you've got there."

"Shut your fucking mouth."

"How _rude_."

"I can't believe it," Sollux groaned. "I hardly even know your name and you know."

"Consider yourself lucky. My lips are zipped," Eridan sniffed, upturning his nose a little and neatly crossing his legs. He picked up his coffee cup again and blew on it. "Drink that coffee. It's _very_ expensive and I can hardly believe I'm wastin' it on you."

Sollux took a deep breath and, with a dirty look casted towards Eridan, picked his mug back up and sipped it. It tasted like normal, shitty coffee.

"You don't seem to really give a shit," Sollux commented. Eridan harrumphed and uncrossed his legs so he could cross the other.

"I can't really bring myself to. A, you're just another greasy teenager who I can't bring myself to give a rat's ass about. An' B, I already have a big enough headache as it is. I don't need more on my mind, thank you very much."

"Hangover?"

"Of course I have a fuckin' hangover."

"You're lucky you didn't get hit last night."

Eridan squinted over his coffee mug.

"Excuse me?"

"You were completely wasted and you ran out in front of my truck. If I had been going any faster than I was, you'd probably be in the hospital. Or worse."

"You're lucky I don't press charges."

Sollux gritted his teeth. Ungrateful little-

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be passed out in the middle of the street!"

"I also wouldn't have almost gotten hit," Eridan snapped loudly. Both he and Sollux turned their heads sharply away from each other, Eridan with his nose upturned and Sollux biting back a string of curses.

"Fine. Ex_cuuuuse_ me, princess."

Pause.

"Where are my glasses?" Eridan asked irritably, blatantly ignoring Sollux's insult.

"Those stupid hipster glasses?"

"They're not stupid!"

"They got destroyed by my shoe. You can blame it, it's sitting over there next to the door," Sollux jeered, jerking his thumb towards the welcome mat. It was Eridan's turn to gnash his teeth.

"Those were expensive."

"You don't need them."

"Yes I do, they're my readin' glasses."

"Why the fuck would you need reading glasses at a party? You the type who sits alone in the corner with a cup of beer and a book? Give me a break."

Eridan's face twisted into even more of a scowl than before.

"Are you hungry?" he asked suddenly, getting to his feet and stiffly walking back towards the kitchenette.

"Starving," Sollux answered with false pleasantness. "Why so hospitable?"

"You're a guest," Eridan grumbled. "It's fuckin' customary for those of us who have _manners_."

"Some manners."

Sollux lounged on the couch and looked over his shoulder to watch Eridan work over the kitchen counter. He noticed that Eridan's hands were clumsy, and every time he tried to break an egg, he ended up cursing as pieces of shell broke off into the mixing bowl.

"Jesus, are you that useless?" Sollux asked, getting to his feet and going to the kitchenette. Eridan glared heatedly at him, but Sollux only nudged him over.

"As if you could do any better!" Eridan exclaimed, shoving the whisk into Sollux's hand.

"Watch me."

Sollux took his place over the mixing bowl and calmly scraped each of the little broken eggshell pieces out of the bowl until the mixture was clean. Then, he continued the chore Eridan had started by flawlessly cracking a few more eggs into the bowl.

"So you cook?" Eridan asked shortly. Sollux smirked as he whisked.

"Are you kidding me? A three year old could do this. But yes, I'm a fucking boss at cooking."

Eridan didn't answer as Sollux turned on the spot and started towards the stove.

"Pan," Sollux ordered, and Eridan scrambled to get to one of the lower cupboards and retrieve a medium-sized frying pan. He placed it on the stove, then watched with hawk eyes as Sollux poured the mixture into the pan.

"That's nothin' like what I had in mind," Eridan muttered.

"Scrambled eggs sound okay?"

Eridan huffed and crossed his arms.

"_Fine_."

Eridan hovered around Sollux as he cooked, letting out little annoyed sounds like sighs, grunts, and groans. Sollux, however, just kept doing his thing, refusing to give Eridan the satisfaction of acknowledging his stupid noises.

"You don't even know who I am, do you?"

"No. Who are you, an' what makes you think you had the right to sleep here last night?"

"First off, I carried you all the way home last night, and then in one of your drunken fits, _you _decided to grab onto me and not let go. Secondly… I'm the guy you ran into yesterday."

Eridan stared at Sollux, squinting.

"_What?_"

"I was the guy who you fucking bulldozed," Sollux muttered. "You know, the one you called a 'fucking lowlife prick' in public. _At the top of your lungs._"

"You're-" Eridan began. He faltered a bit. "That was _you?_"

"Uh. _Yeah_."

"Cod," Eridan cursed under his breath, leaning on the counter and putting his head in his hand. Sollux cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh… don't you mean 'God'?"

Eridan didn't look up, and instead rubbed his temples.

"Yes, that's what I said, Cod."

"No… no, you're saying it wrong," Sollux insisted, pausing his cooking for a moment to turn to Eridan. "You're saying 'Cod'."

"I think I would _know_ what I said," Eridan growled. "I'm not in the mood for this."

"Say 'goat'."

"Goat."

"Now say 'God'."

"…Cod."

"What the hell is with your stupid _accent?_" Sollux asked incredulously. Eridan opened his mouth to snap something back, but he looked down.

"You're burning it!" he barked. Sollux swore and practically flung the frying pan off of the fire, then furiously broke up the scrambled eggs and managed to save it just in time. Eridan had two plates at the ready, and before the eggs got a chance to burn, they were sitting nicely on the plates with wisps of steam rising from them.

Eridan sat down at a barstool with his while Sollux stood and leaned against a nearby counter. They were absolutely silent, and refused to even glance at each other. Above them hung an air of almost unbearable tension, but that was broken when Eridan got up from his stool, went to the table, and grabbed one of his oranges.

"What _are_ those things?" Sollux asked.

"Clementines," was the short reply, and Sollux grunted with disinterest.

"You eat a shit ton of them."

"They're small enough to have like four of them at a time, so fuck you."

Sollux sighed. What a fucking prick.

"So… I can't help but to notice that you didn't totally flip your shit when you woke up next to me this morning," Sollux said after a long pause. "Didn't it freak you out? Do you remember anything?"

"I don't remember anythin'," Eridan said. He toyed with his scrambled eggs. Sollux noticed he had eaten nothing but clementines since he had gotten his breakfast. Sollux, however, had wolfed down half of his. "And no, I didn't freak out. There was no reason to."

"Pff. You say that like you've woken up next to man before."

Sollux chuckled as he put another spoonful of eggs into his mouth. When there was no answering laugh, however, he looked up.

Eridan was staring at him with absolute terror in his eyes. Sollux swallowed heavily, and it was like swallowing a rock.

Fuck.

Oh _fuck_. _Backtrackbacktrackbacktrack DON'T SAY IT-_

"You're… gay."

The monotonous statement clung to the tension in the air, and everything was quiet except for the clinking sound of Sollux slowly putting his fork down. Eridan's body jerked a bit and he shoved away from the counter, making the plate rattle. He darted out of the kitchenette and down the connecting hall.

"Whoa, hey!" Sollux called, setting his plate down in a hurry and rushing after Eridan. He nearly caught his arm, but Eridan was able to duck into a door at the last second and slam it behind him. Sollux heard the clattering of locks falling in place. "Dude!"

"Thanks for bringin' me home!" Eridan called from the other side of the door. His voice was quivering. "You can leav-ve the plates on the counter, I w-will take care of it! Goodbye! Hav-ve a nice day!"

Sollux, who had been trying to jostle the handle, paused.

_The kid had a speech impediment. _

"Hey… I'm not judging," Sollux said, choosing his words carefully. He absentmindedly tapped his fingernail on the door handle, looking at his feet.

"Just go aw-way!"

"Hey, don't be an asshole!" Sollux snapped. He took a breath. "I'm gay, too!"

There was a long, long pause. Finally, the handle jostled and Sollux released it. It turned and the door opened a crack. A wary eye appeared.

"…W-What?"

"Uh… well, my friends think I'm bi," Sollux said quietly, shrugging. He chuckled nervously, then scratched his arm. "But I kinda just… date girls from time to time to make it look like I'm bi."

"How-w long hav-ve you been that w-way?" Eridan asked suspiciously, squinting.

"Uhhhhm… well, I kinda only realized that I was gay and not just bi this past summer. I've always known that something was… off about how I felt about… guys and girls."

Eridan looked down, and the door slowly swung open a bit wider.

"W-What's your name?"

"So-" Sollux began. "I mean, Tholluxth Captor."

Eridan's head snapped up, and his brows were furrowed in anger.

"W-What the fuck did you say? Are you fuckin' _mockin'_ me?"

"I'm Tholluxth Captor. Sollux Captor."

Something clicked in Eridan's head, and he stared up at Sollux, dumbfounded. His door swung open the rest of the way.

"Your lisp earlier… it w-wasn't fake."

"Of courthe it wathn't, dipshit."

"…Come in."

Sollux nodded and stepped inside.

The room was obviously Eridan's. It was just as fancy as the rest of the suite, with a big king-sized bed and paintings all over the walls. The carpet was a royal purple color- no wait, it was just the lighting. The light bulb of the room was covered with a purple glass dome that turned the entire room a dark royal purple color. The only problem was that everything was pretty dark, but to Sollux it made him feel comfortable. Like he was on his computer with all of the lights off.

"Is this your room?" Sollux asked anyway, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Obviously," Eridan replied shortly, having had swallowed his speech impediment once more. He looked down at the floor. "Um, don't look for a few seconds, alright?"

Sollux blinked as Eridan began untying the sash of his robe. When he realized what he was doing, Sollux casually spun on his heel and pretended to inspect a painting of a sailboat.

"You like the ocean a lot, huh?"

"My dad does a lot of sailing in his free time, especially now that he's retired."

"I see. Is that where you got the accent from? Your dad?"

"…How'd you know I have an accent?"

"Dude, your accent is thick enough for a deaf person to notice."

"Fuck you."

"Right back at you."

"Did you get your _lisp_ from _your_ father?"

"My dad's dead."

Absolute silence. Sollux continued to peruse Eridan's paintings and photographs. When he noticed something was wrong, he turned towards Eridan. His hands were on the flaps of a pair of skinny jeans, about ready to button them. Other than that, he was bare.

"What?" Sollux asked. Eridan cleared his throat and recomposed himself, upturning his nose.

"Uh. Well. Sorry. Or… whatever."

"I barely knew him," Sollux said, shrugging. "It's cool. Anyway, no. The lisp is just like any other speech impediment. Random and inconvenient."

"I feel ya."

Sollux turned away again and spotted something hiding on a shelf. He cocked an eyebrow and reached up to retrieve it. It was a pair of tiny plush fairy dolls. One had purple wings made out of a wire-and-mesh material, and each wing was shaped like a fish fin. It had a cute little pink hood with a cute little pink-and-light purple outfit and holy shit this thing was just pure _cute_. It also had little horns that curved outwards from its head, horns that looked like little pieces of candy corn.

The other was similar to the other, with a pale yellow-and-light brown color scheme. Its skin had an indigo hue, unlike the other's purple hue. Its wings were more like moth wings, and were made of the same material as the other. Its horns were curled rather than curved and, just like the other, it was excellently detailed.

"Still playing with dollies?" Sollux asked, grimacing. There was a pause before Eridan shouted.

"Hey! Don't fuckin' touch those!"

Sollux was forcibly spun around. Eridan snatched the tiny dolls out of his hands and inspected each one almost obsessively, his eyes wide with concern. When he concluded that neither were damaged, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Jesus Christ. They're just dolls," Sollux said defensively, holding his hands up in surrender. Eridan's eyes creased.

"They're… someone else's. They can't get damaged. Especially with your _filthy_ fuckin' hands!"

"Whose are they?"

Eridan frowned more, and his eyes began to glaze over like he was going to cry.

"Fef's."

"'Fef'?"

"Feferi Peixes."

"Who's she?"

Eridan clutched the dolls to his newly-clothed chest and hunched his shoulders.

"My best friend."

"Was that who you were chasing yesterday?"

"…Yeah."

"Why was she running in the first place?"

"That's what I w-would like to know-w!" Eridan exclaimed, glaring hard at the floor as he spoke angrily. "I w-was in the fuckin' right! I w-wasn't doing anything w-wrong!"

"Alright, alright," Sollux said, gesturing for Eridan to relax. "Calm your tits."

"_Rude_."

"What's got you so upset at her?"

Eridan snarled a little.

"That's none of your fuckin' business, Sol."

Sollux raised an eyebrow as Eridan went to his dresser, pulled the top drawer open, and unceremoniously dropped the dolls inside. He slammed it shut and walked towards the door.

"Hey, who said you could give me a nickname?" Sollux asked, following Eridan. Eridan paused in the doorway, then whipped his head around to look over his shoulder.

"_I_ did!"

Sollux stood there, absolutely dumbstruck, as Eridan stomped out of the room.

"Hey…" Sollux said softly. "Hey, wait!"

He chased after Eridan, about to give him a piece of his mind. But Eridan had come to a stop just inside the main room, staring at something to his right.

"Hey, yo-"

"It's snowin'."

Sollux shut his mouth and went to Eridan to peer over his shoulder.

Sure enough, just outside the huge window wall, huge flakes of snow tumbled down from the sky.

"It's about time," Sollux said, putting his hands on his hips. Eridan smirked a little.

"Yeah."

They stood there for a long time, just staring out the window.

"Isn't it about time for you to leave?" Eridan finally asked. Sollux, startled, returned his gaze to Eridan, who was smiling over his shoulder a bit with a 'wow you're kind of dumb but you're tolerable' look on his face.

"Uh… right," Sollux said. He brushed past Eridan and went to the doorway while Eridan went to the couch and grabbed Sollux's phone off of the coffee table. He went back to Sollux, who was stuffing his feet into his shoes.

"Here. You don't want to forget about this again," Eridan said, plopping the phone into Sollux's open hand. He snorted. "That was a dipshit move."

"Yeah…"

Awkward pause.

"Hey… Eridan," Sollux said carefully. Eridan narrowed his eyes.

"I don't recall tellin' you my name."

"It was on your ID," Sollux said. "Oh! Which reminds me…"

Eridan watched suspiciously as Sollux reached into his back pocket and retrieved the three hundred dollars he had gotten out of Eridan's wallet. Eridan, bewildered, outstretched his hand. His jaw dropped as the bills fell into his palm.

"You-"

"You shouldn't carry so much money in your wallet at a time. Especially when you're going to a party where you're gonna get drunk. _That_ was kind of a dipshit move."

Eridan crushed the bills in his hand and gnashed his teeth.

"You little…!" he snarled. "Get _outta_ here!"

"You'll keep quiet, right?" Sollux asked suddenly, ignoring Eridan's idiotic antics. "About my... uh, secret?"

Eridan sniffed, then crossed his arms and looked down his nose at Sollux as if he was queen of the world and Sollux was his slave.

"What, about being gay or the other thing?"

"The _other_ fucking thing, you shithead."

Eridan rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine. Yes. My lips are zipped. I _told_ you this already."

"Just making sure."

Sollux and Eridan stared at each other for a few moments before Eridan scowled just a bit.

"But… that's only if you'll be keepin' _my_ secret to yourself, too."

"About being a giant dickhead or the other thing?" Sollux asked in a mocking voice.

"The _gay_ thing, you fuckin' _asshole!_" Eridan barked. Sollux threw his head back and laughed.

"Alright, alright. Got it. My lips are zipped, too."

Another staring contest.

"Ugh," Eridan groaned, going to his kitchenette. He reached up to the top of the refrigerator and retrieved a Sharpie marker. He went back to Sollux, snatched up his hand, and began writing on Sollux's palm.

"What are you writing?" Sollux asked, trying to pull his hand away.

"Hold still. It's just my number," Eridan said. When he finished, he pushed Sollux's hand away with somewhat of a flourish. "In case you… you know, need to talk or somethin'."

Sollux squinted.

"About…?"

Eridan frowned and glared in any direction besides Sollux's eyes.

"…Bein' gay. Or… or your situation. I know what it's like, feelin' like you're all alone. It's hard. It's hard an' nobody understands."

Pause.

"…Right," Sollux said, closing his hand and smiling a little bit at his fist. "Thanks. Don't get your hopes up though."

"Ugh!" Eridan groaned again, rolling his eyes so hard that Sollux thought they'd roll into the back of his head. "Just get _out!_"

Sollux snickered and escaped out the door before Eridan could say another word.

* * *

><p>Sollux jostled his key in the keyhole of the door to his dorm room, frustrated. Damn thing was stuck again.<p>

But before he could open it, the door flew open, and there stood Karkat.

"_Sollux_," he breathed, practically panting. He stared up at Sollux with those wide, chocolate brown eyes of his.

And Sollux suddenly remembered the events of last night.

And the deal they had made.

Sollux's eyes darkened a little.

"Oh my _God_ you were fucking serious," Karkat whispered, shaking his head a little and trying to back away as Sollux reached up and cupped his cheek in his hand. Sollux thumbed his bottom lip. You're so fucking stupid. Why do you do this to yourselmmmphmmn-"

Sollux backed Karkat into the room and kicked the door shut.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to _gogglelicious_, _chewymudcat_, _gunsandwwands_, _a2k2ollux_, and _sylph-of-rage_ for their wonderful fanart contributions to OHAC! I really appreciate it, guys! :D**

**You can look at these lovely fanart pieces at sweetmotherofbuckets (dot) tumblr (dot) com/tagged/ohacfanart**

**Enjoy! :)**

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><p>[Chapter 9]<p>

"Sol-mmm…! Sollux, fucking _sto_-mmmph!"

Persistently, Sollux tilted his head and kissed his best friend even more fervently than before. Karkat paused for a moment, blinking rapidly and angrily. However, his flailing and fighting back grew weaker and weaker until his arms slowly slid up his chest to coil around Sollux's neck. He kissed Sollux back, even though it was clumsy and not that enthusiastic.

Surprised, Sollux pulled away for a second, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes glazed over. Karkat's situation wasn't the much different.

"When'd you get good at that?" Karkat breathed. "…Shit…"

Their lips came together again, a tad more heated than before. Karkat let out this little sound- a tiny, unintended sound, and Sollux lost it. He backed Karkat up more until the back of his friend's knees hit the edge of his bed. They tumbled down onto it, with Sollux pinning Karkat's much smaller body to the bed with his own.

He didn't intend for it to happen, but before he could even register what he was planning, his hand was trailing up Karkat's sweatshirt, caressing his bare skin. Karkat tore away from his lips.

"Don't fucking do that!" Karkat barked, beginning to squirm and thrash his head from side to side. Sollux was deaf to him, and instead of listening, he attached himself to Karkat's neck and licked it. Karkat let out a half-gasp, half-squeal, and his thrashing turned violent. "_Stop, _Sollux! You're going way too fucking far! _STOP!_"

Sollux raised his head to go in for another kiss on Karkat's lips. However, his jaw unexpectedly and suddenly came in contact with a fist. Sollux's world immediately switched from heat to pain as his head snapped to the side. Karkat shoved him away, then grabbed him by the neck and thrust him down onto the bed. Within seconds, he was straddling Sollux's waist and pinning him down to the bed by the shoulders.

"_I fucking told you to stop!_" he shouted, his voice cracking halfway through. Sollux, still stunned by the punch and Karkat's sudden movement, took a while to register his position. When he did, he felt bile rise to his throat and an unbearable urge to flip his shit and run away as fast and as far as he could.

"_Get off!_" Sollux bellowed, reaching up and grabbing Kenneth's white hair. Wait no, his hair was black. And that was _Karkat_, not Kenneth. Was it? "_GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!_"

Karkat cried out as Sollux threw his smaller body off of his own by the root of his hair. Karkat rolled off of him, then let out another shout as he tumbled out of bed and flopped onto the floor. Sollux sat up and brought his knees to his chest. A huge migraine was blossoming behind his eyes as uncontrollable shivering took over his body.

"You know I hate that," Sollux said in his tiniest voice, hiding his face in his knees and raking his fingers nervously through his hair. "You know I do."

There was a shuffling sound as Karkat hauled himself to his feet. Sollux felt the bed dip, and suddenly Karkat was beside him. Raising his head, Sollux gazed at his best friend with half-lidded eyes, his lips trembling. Karkat stared back at him, his mouth twisted into a scowl but his eyes reflecting sadness.

"I will _never_," Karkat said slowly, pausing to give Sollux time to brace himself. Sollux stiffened. "…love you the way you love me."

It still hurt. It was still a fucking kick to the stomach, and for a wild, panicked moment, Sollux thought his heart would stop.

"Kissing me didn't make you feel better, huh?" Karkat asked, settling beside Sollux and also pulling his knees up. He leaned on Sollux just a bit.

"No," Sollux muttered.

"Feel worse?"

"Yeah."

"You're a fucking idiot. I told you that you were going regret it."

"It hurt but I don't regret it," Sollux sighed. Karkat was silent.

"You're seriously not going to let this go?"

"No."

"Then you can spend your Saturday all by your-fucking-self," Karkat growled. He slipped down from the bed. He went to the door and pulled on his jacket. "I'm officially done with this shit."

Sollux watched with absolute heartbreak as Karkat put his hand on the doorknob. He paused there for a moment, glaring hard at his hand.

"You know," Karkat said quietly. "That was my first kiss."

Sollux's head snapped up and his eyes widened.

"…Wha-"

"And I don't know if you've noticed," Karkat interrupted, raising his voice to drown out Sollux. "I don't know if you've noticed, but all this romance shit means a _lot_ to me."

Karkat looked over his shoulder, but his eyes didn't meet with Sollux's. Instead, he looked at the wall directly beside him.

"And now something that I've been looking forward to for my _whole_ fucking _life_ is ruined," he said, his voice getting softer yet angrier by the second. "And it's all your fucking fault."

"You agreed to it-" Sollux began defensively.

"I didn't think you were going to take it seriously!" Karkat snapped, his voice raising to a yell. "I thought you were just fucking around!"

"_Why_ would I fuck around like that?"

"I just didn't know how to fucking deal with that!" Karkat shouted. "I don't fucking get this whole 'relationship' thing! I've _never_ done this shit before!"

Sollux stared as Karkat began to shake with rage.

"How do you think it feels to constantly feel like you're just a giant fucking shitstain to everyone? How do you think it fucking feels whenever _you're_ dating someone and you treat them like absolute shit? How do you think it feels to know it's all my fucking fault that Mister Sollux Captor can't fucking treat a girl right because you just _use_ them as a replacement for _me?_"

His voice broke almost wildly, and before Sollux knew it, Karkat was crying.

"Whoa-" Sollux began, putting his hands up in surrender. Karkat let out a shuddering sob.

"I did it because, unlike you, I fucking care about people," Karkat hissed through gritted teeth. "And I _especially_ care about you."

"I _do_ care about you," Sollux insisted weakly.

"Then _why_ do you put me through this shit?" Karkat asked. He gulped and blinked his tears away. "Why is it that I beg and beg over and _over_ for you to just fucking stop… but you never do it?"

Sollux looked down.

"You're nothing like the person I met in middle school," Karkat continued. "You were weak and pathetic and lonely. And you felt like the whole God damn world hated you. And I was okay with that, because that's how I felt, too.

"But now you're nothing but a gigantic fucking douche bag. You're a cocky, self-absorbent, humongous fucking jerk."

Sollux covered his eyes with his hands.

"And I don't care if we're best friends. You deserved what Aradia did to you. She called me last night because she was so upset."

Looking up, Sollux's lips parted in questioning. Karkat set his jaw and nodded.

"Yeah. And I can honestly say, if you can fuck up a relationship _that bad_ in only a month, you're a _whole new level_ of scumbag. Even if I was gay or bi or pansexual or whatever the fuck you claim to be, I wouldn't date you in a _million_ fucking _years_."

With that, Karkat pulled the door open and walked out. He slammed it shut behind him so hard that everything in the room rattled.

_Karkat I have something to tell you._

_I want to tell you the reason I'm like this._

_Karkat, wait._

Sollux leapt off of the bed and ran to the door. He tore it open and ran outside, frantically looking up and down the hall.

He was long gone.

Sollux waited there for a second, waiting for Karkat to come walking back with that stupid scowl on his face, asking if they were still friends.

And waited.

And waited.

By that time, several nearby doors had opened, and other students were peeking out from the cracks. They murmured about shouting and fighting, and all eyes were trained on Sollux. The other tenants of the building knew Karkat was loud, but he had obviously been louder than usual.

"Sollux?"

Sollux turned to face Jade, who was their next-door neighbor. She approached with somewhat of a sympathetic smile on her face. When she got to Sollux she was quiet, only moving to adjust her huge circle-rim glasses and brush her ebony hair behind her ear.

"How much could you guys hear?"

"…Just a lot of swearing," Jade sighed, smiling a bit more and awkwardly reaching out to touch Sollux's shoulder. "Most of the other stuff was muffled enough that we couldn't understand what was being said."

Sollux was absolutely still as Jade wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. She affectionately rubbed his back.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sollux replied. Jade pulled away.

"There are some men you just won't win, Sollux. And I'm sorry to say that your cranky best friend is one of those men," Jade said just loud enough for Sollux to hear, even though everyone else had cleared out at that point. She poked Sollux playfully on the nose, and in response he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You…?"

"I've seen the way you look at him, silly!" Jade giggled. "He's my partner in my biology class, and you always come out to say goodbye to him when he leaves in the morning. I may be a little crazy, but I'm not stupid!"

Sollux snorted a little.

"I never thought you were stupid, Jade."

"I think you need more confidence in yourself! The good kind of confidence, not the fake kind that you carry around with you all the time," Jade said, patting Sollux on the center of his chest. "Good confidence will lead you to people who will be so much better to you as a romantic partner than Karkat! And you need to realize that sometimes having Karkat as a best friend is better than having him as a boyfriend!"

"You think so?"

"Yup! Karkat's the type to be there for you always. Not as a boyfriend, but as a best buddy who can support you in a platonic way!"

"Hm."

"The sooner you realize that, the happier you'll be, Sollux!" Jade said happily. Her bright, slightly buck-tooth smile lit up her face as she grabbed both of Sollux's shoulders. "I just know it!"

Sollux grimaced.

"Okay, is this original or are you just quoting Rose's yaoi fanfiction again?"

Jade threw her head back and let out a loud peal of laughter.

"A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B," Jade giggled, giving Sollux a huge wink and wagging her finger at him. "You'd be surprised. Me and Nepeta learn a lot from Rose's fanfiction!"

"Right," Sollux said. He smiled a bit. "Thanks, Jade. I appreciate it."

"Any time!" she replied cheerfully. She gave Sollux one more supportive pat on the shoulder before bouncing back to her dorm. Sollux turned and went back inside his own room. He shut the door behind him and leaned heavily against the door for a moment, staring hard at the floor.

"God damn it," he finally sighed, running a hand through his hair before going to his bed and flopping down on his back on top of it. He removed his glasses and covered his face with his arm, attempting to soothe the growing headache behind his eyes.

However, just as he was getting comfortable, his phone vibrated three times in a row. He pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open to reveal that the battery had gotten low. Rolling over, he pulled up his phone charger cord from where it was hiding behind his nightstand. He lazily tossed his phone onto the table, not caring if it nearly slid off of the edge.

Sollux was about to resume his earlier position, but he paused and lifted his hand. He saw black marks all over his palm, and was confused for a moment until he put his glasses back on.

Eridan's number.

Sollux groaned and let his hand flop back down to his chest.

A minute ticked by.

Two minutes.

Sollux abruptly turned onto his side and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. He flipped it open and dialed in Eridan's number. He was sure to do it carelessly, of course. If he messed up the number, he'd wash the sharpie off of his hand and never try contacting the little prick again.

_2up_

It wasn't long before he got an answer.

_i kneww you wwouldnt be able to resist me_

_what the fuck?_

_oh sorry i thought you wwere someone else_

_hahaha no diip2hiit iit'2 me_

_2ollux_

_wwell wwhy the fuck did you make it seem like you wwere someone else then_

_why the fuck are *you* doubliing your w2_

_?_

_w2 a2 iin the letter. a2 iin you're typing iit twice_

_oh thats just my style_

_waiit you do iit on purpo2e._

_yeah wwhy_

_iit'2 fuckiing dumb_

_rude_

_ii'm ju2t 2ayiing_

_wwell if youre so much better then wwhy do you type your i's twwice and wwhy are your s's 2's_

_becau2e 2hut your trap that'2 why_

_RUDE_

_iit'2 becau2e my phone'2 a piiece of shiit. the ii key ii2 2tuck 2o ii have to pre22 down hard and when ii do iit alway2 double2. and the 2 key i2 broken completely 2o ii ju2t u2e a 2_

_wwhy not use a 5_

_becau2e 2 ii2 clo2er_

_wwell its fuckin hard to read consider gettin a new phone_

_too expen2iive. thii2 one work2 fiine. not everyone'2 mommiie2 and daddiie2 buy theiir kiid2 new toy2 you know_

_omfg youre such an ass_

_ii'm goiing to take a 2hower now and wa2h all thii2 drunkard 2tiink off of me_

_OMFG!_

Sollux sat up, but then paused.

_hey you wanna hang out today or 2omethiing_

_wwhat are you serious_

_dude doe2 ii look liike ii'm fuckiing kiiddiing_

_no_

_do you want to hang out or not holy 2hiit_

_yes_

_ok then. ii'll be over there 2oon_

_wwait_

_WHAT?_

_wwhat are wwe goin to do_

_ii don't fuckiing know bro ii don't giive a 2hiit. ii ju2t want to get out of my dorm. you thiink of 2omethiing._

_oh ok_

Sollux rolled his eyes and just about threw his phone out the window. Annoying, nosy little dickhead. He stood from his place on the bed, and as he walked across the door towards his and Karkat's small shared bathroom, he stripped himself of his clothing. By the time he was to the shower he was naked, and he didn't even bother to look back at the trail of clothing he had left behind.

When he stepped out of the shower again twenty minutes later, he dried himself off and wandered back into the main living area with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. He flopped down on his bed, grabbed his phone, and flipped it open.

_ok ii'm done wiith my 2hower_

_wwoww wwere you masturbatin in there or wwhat_

_no you fuckiing diip2hiit ii had to get all of the drunkard 2tiink off of my body ii told you that_

_yeah ok if you say so_

_oh my god._

Sollux reached up and furiously scratched at his hair, willing the anger and irritation into dissipation. He took a deep breath.

_ok then ii'm gonna get dre22ed then and ii'll be there in liike twenty miinute2 ok_

_dont keep me wwaitin ;)_

Sollux stared at the message for a second, squinting. Okay then. So this Eridan guy totally wanted his dick.

_Alright, _Sollux thought, smirking as he snapped his phone shut. _I'll bite._

* * *

><p>When Sollux arrived at Eridan's high-class dorm, he found the door already opened a crack. Lifting one eyebrow, he warily swung the door open.<p>

"Hello…?"

Without warning, someone wrenched the door open, and a short, colorfully dressed girl appeared, her cheeks flushed and her huge, bright blue eyes snapping with anger. Sollux raised his hands in surrender as the girl brushed past him with a wheeled luggage bag in tow.

And in a flurry of dark, reddish-brown hair, she was gone.

When Sollux turned back to the door, he could see Eridan sitting on the couch in the living room, hunched over with his head in his hands. Stepping inside and shutting the door behind him, Sollux was absolutely quiet.

"Um…" he said after a long time. Eridan looked up. "I'm here."

Eridan sighed and leaned back in the couch. He looked down at something in his hands.

"I don't deserve this," he said in a tired, worn out voice. Sollux shoved his hands in his pockets and meandered over, making sure to slip out of his shoes before stepping onto the carpet. When he got to the couch, he looked down and, in Eridan's cupped hands, lied the ripped- up remains of the two dolls Sollux had nearly been killed for earlier.

"What happened to these?" Sollux asked, coming around to the front of the couch and flopping down beside Eridan. He earned a glare for it, but not much else.

"I ripped them."

Sollux stared at him.

"You ripped- wait, that girl in here was Feferi, then?"

"Yeah. She was movin' her luggage out."

"She was your roommate? How is that possible?"

"We're step-siblings."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Why'd you rip her dolls?" Sollux asked, wholly confused.

"They're not hers," Eridan mumbled, looking sorrowfully down at the dolls. "They're mine. I made them. I was going to give them to her for Christmas."

"That's nice of you."

"You fuckin' think?"

"But why'd you rip them, then?"

"I was angry and I didn't know-w w-what I w-was doin'!" Eridan snapped, throwing the ripped dolls down in his lap and covering his eyes with his hands. "Ev-verythin' w-was just so stressful and I didn't know-w w-what to do anymore! Cod, I just-"

Eridan paused, and when he looked up again, there were tears in his eyes. He sniffled bitterly and scrubbed at his eyes. Sollux kind of awkwardly scratched his arm and looked around the dorm to give Eridan some privacy. Poor guy. He had cried in front of Sollux a grand total of three times in the last forty-eight hours, and they barely even knew each other.

When Eridan spoke again, his words were tiny and made Sollux suddenly understand absolutely nothing.

"I just lov-ve her so much."


	10. Chapter 10

**Merry Christmas!**

**I apologize that the chapter is so short this time. It's not by much, but it's just a tad shorter. I'm sure most of you won't mind?~ :)**

**Also, I got some more fanart since my last update, but I'll make the official announcement about it in the next chapter. I'm running short on time, so I gotta go! O:  
><strong>

**Anyway, this was another chapter that I had a lot of fun with, even though it was mostly another development chapter. Hopefully you are as entertained as I was when I wrote this chapter! :D**

**Also, sassy is my favorite word. If OHAC was to appear on Spark Notes, under Symbols, Themes, and Motifs, '_Sassy_' would be listed under both motifs and themes.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 10]<p>

"Whoa," Sollux said, his eyes instantly narrowing. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you said you were gay."

"I am."

Sollux squinted more.

"Feferi's a girl."

"I know-w," Eridan groaned, putting his head in his hands again.

"You can't be gay and like a girl, dude. That's not gay, that's bi."

"How I feel about her has _nothin'_ to do with gender," Eridan huffed, his voice laced with frustration. "She's just… she's an exception."

"Oh. So like a straight dude wanting to go out with a gay dude… only flipped around?" Sollux said, crossing one arm over the other and tilting his head a little. "I still don't see why it'd be any different from being bisexual."

"I'm not sexually attracted to her," Eridan sighed, tipping his head back on the couch and staring at the ceiling fan. "Emotionally. Bein' with her just feels so right. I'd never, ever date a girl. But Fef's no ordinary girl. She's beyond definition."

Eridan let out yet another sigh, this time more dreamy. He shut his eyes and his lips upturned ever so slightly. Sollux grimaced.

"Beyond definition. How unsurprisingly sappy of you."

Eridan's smile faded.

"I'm a thespian, alright? It's my sworn duty to bring the art of drama and theatre into this cultural garbage dump."

Silence.

"…Wait, you're a lesbian?"

"_Thespian_, asshole!" Eridan barked, snapping his head up from the back of the couch and snarling in Sollux's face. "Thespian! An _actor!_"

He emphasized the 'o' in actor way too much. And he rolled his 'r'. Fuck.

"Oh _Christ_ you're a theatre junky," Sollux groaned, rubbing his temples.

"Problem with that, Sol?" Eridan growled.

"Back in high school I always got pestered into doing all this stupid technical stuff for plays and shit," Sollux explained, waving his hand dismissively. "So I'm pretty much completely over them."

"Well, you haven't seen _me_ act, so there may be hope for you yet."

"Ugh," Sollux replied, wrinkling his nose. "No thanks."

"Hmph," Eridan harrumphed, crossing his arms. "Fef always loved watchin' me act. I'd always practice my lines with her, an' she'd… she'd always tease me for forgettin' my lines… an'…"

Eridan's face contorted again.

"Oh, _Fef_," he whimpered, his voice breaking and squeaking on Feferi's name. Sollux sighed and put his hand on Eridan's shoulder. He waited for Eridan to relax again before shifting his body on the couch so he was angled towards Eridan. He crossed his legs and rested his elbow on the back of the couch so he could prop his head up on his knuckles.

"So she's your stepsister," Sollux began. "…and you love her?"

"Yeah…"

"Isn't that a little racy...? I mean…"

"We're not related by blood at all. We've been best friends for a long time, so obviously our parents would meet. In high school I…"

Eridan's lips twitched.

"I fell in love with her. But everything was so confusin' back then. I knew I liked guys. Hell, I was even scared of girls. But not her. She was perfect. She _is_ perfect."

"Ooooh," Sollux said, nodding in understanding. "And then Feferi's…"

"Her mom married my dad, yeah."

"And now…?"

"My dad uh…" Eridan trailed off. "He kinda walked out on me, Fef, and my stepmom one day. I don't blame him. It was all my stepmom's fault. She's a fuckin' _witch_."

"Where's your dad now?"

"Somewhere in Scotland," Eridan sighed, his lips quirking a bit with nostalgia again. "I wanted to go with him, but he wanted me to stay here. Watch over Fef an' make sure she's happy."

"Didn't work too well, did it?"

"She thinks I'm smotherin' her."

"I'm sure it doesn't help that you're in love with her."

"Wow, thanks Sol. You're sure good at makin' me feel better. Ass."

"It's not a problem."

Eridan frowned down at his lap, then picked up one of the torn arms of the little doll.

"Maybe it isn't the best idea to be in love with her," Sollux said, careful with the words that he chose. "If she feels uncomfortable with it, then what's the point?"

"But we aren't even step-siblings anymore…"

"That doesn't mean that she feels the same way that you do about your relationship."

Eridan sighed.

"I'm sorry, man. I think you've been permanently placed in the friend zone."

"I still wish I hadn't ripped this," he said, his voice just barely above a whisper. He began tearfully picking the pieces up from his lap.

"I'm sure you can fix it, right?" Sollux asked, not wanting to see Eridan cry again. "I mean…"

"I don't know if I can do it again," Eridan sighed, gingerly stroking the blue-and-black hair of the indigo-ish one. "She inspired me to make these just by bein' _around_ me. Now that she's gone…"

"Let me see those," Sollux said. He reached out, and their hands came together for the transfer of the little parts and pieces. Eridan's entire face flushed scarlet instantly upon the contact, and he practically wrenched his hands away.

Sollux smirked a bit.

"Something wrong, Mister Ampora?"

Eridan fidgeted as he glared evenly into Sollux's eyes.

"No. Why the fuck would there be?"

Sollux shrugged, a shit-eating grin still on his face.

"You seem a little _jumpy_."

"Look Sol," Eridan said, crossing his arms haughtily and combing his hair away from his face with his fingers. "I don't… wake up next to an attractive man every mornin', okay?"

Sollux raised his eyebrows.

"Attractive?"

"Don't flatter yourself, you ain't a fuckin' cod, alright? Just attractive," Eridan snapped. averting his eyes with the last comment. He cleared his throat, then slowly lowered his crossed arms and wrung them in his back. His eyes went back to Sollux's, yet they were cautious and shy. "Ah… well, did we… um…"

"What?"

There was a long, awkward silence.

"Did we… do… anythin'?"

Sollux had to think for a second, but when he realized what Ampora was implying, he jerked a little, as if he had been hit by something.

"Wh-Whoa!" Sollux exclaimed. "No. Nononono. Nothing happened."

"Oh. Oh, that's good because uh-"

Sollux watched as Eridan looked down again. His purple shock of hair flipped down into his eyes.

"…Good."

Staring hard at Eridan, the wheels in Sollux's head began to crank. When he realized it, he snorted just a bit.

"Wait, you're a virgin, aren't you?"

Eridan jumped and turned his head towards Sollux, his eyes snapping with fury.

"Excuse me? Since when is it a bad thing to be a virgin? Since _when?_"

"Jesus Christ, calm down."

Eridan ground his teeth.

"Sorry. This morning you pretty much made it clear that you've woken up next to a man before."

"I have."

"And…?"

"When I bring men home… we never really go farther than makin' out," Eridan explained guiltily. "…Or Fef would make them go home before we got _really_ far."

"Were you out last night to bring a guy home?"

Eridan hung his head, almost violently combing his fingers through his hair.

"Hey, I'm not judging," Sollux said, shrugging. "You're allowed to do whatever you God damn well please, and if that floats your boat, fine."

"Really?" Eridan asked, his head coming back up. Sollux shrugged again.

"Uh, yeah. I'm a tolerable guy."

Eridan's cheeks grew a little pinker, and he smiled a little down at his lap.

"Alright, so," Sollux said, picking up the ripped pieces of dolls from where they rested on his thighs. "I'm sure Kanaya can fix this up."

"Ugh. Kan? As in Kan Maryam? She's such a bitch to me, I don't even know why you'd sug-"

"I'm tolerable until someone starts insulting my friends," Sollux interrupted a bit aggressively, making Eridan's sentence trail off into a nervous squeak. When he saw how much he had freaked Eridan out, he allowed his bunched-up shoulders to fall. "Kanaya's a really good person. She _is_ a little sassy. But Karkat found something in her to like, and it's the fact that she has a really big heart. And that's enough of a reason for me."

"Who's Karkat?" Eridan asked, bringing his legs up onto the couch and folding them under him. Sollux's lips pulled up just a tad. He returned his focus to the dolls.

"Way to change the subject, asshat," Sollux said, but his smile didn't go away. "Karkat's my roommate, and my best friend since middle school."

Pause.

"You like him."

It wasn't a question.

Sollux stared blankly ahead of him, the dolls still in his cupped hands. After a long while, he set his hands down in his lap once more. He didn't look at Eridan, but instead smiled a bit at the coffee table.

"…Yup."

He brought the dolls up again, and Eridan made a move on the couch as if he was going to move closer to Sollux, but he ultimately decided not to.

"Wait, that's it?"

"What?"

"You aren't goin' to tell me more?"

"Why would I?" Sollux asked, finally bringing his eyes up to meet Eridan's. He was leaning close to him.

"Oh. It's just that…" Eridan said slowly. "You look a lot happier when uh…"

Eridan paused again and let another tiny smile grace his features.

"…When you talk about him."

Sollux grimaced.

"You're so creepy. Why are you watching me when I talk about boys?"

Sollux set the dolls down on the coffee table and got to his feet. He turned away from Eridan and his flabbergasted face and walked away.

"Wh-…What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'll have you _know_-"

Sollux spun around just in time for Eridan to nearly crash right into him. Eridan gasped sharply as his fists went up defensively. However, it just ended up looking timid, as his fists curled against his chest and his eyes widened to the size of saucers.

Holy shitting God damn.

Cutie's eyes were a _lot_ bigger than Sollux had thought.

"Easy there," Sollux murmured, a slow smirk playing at his lips. "…Fish Face."

"Fish…" Eridan whispered. His surprised face instantly turned angry. "_Fuck_ you!"

Sollux threw his head back and laughed.

"Don't threaten me," Sollux taunted. He stepped away from Eridan, leaving him to brew in his own fury. "Go get ready. We're going out."

"What?" Eridan practically screeched, cringing away from Sollux. Sollux's eyes rolled so far that they almost fell out of his head.

"Oh my _God_, Ampora. Out to _eat_. Out to do _something_. Hang _out_, stupid."

"…Oh," Eridan said, relaxing instantly. "Right."

"…_Go!_"

Eridan jumped and scrambled out of the main living space and into the connecting hall. Sollux stood there and put his head down, nursing the headache that was, once again, blossoming behind his eyes.

This kid was impossibly difficult to deal with, and even harder to tease and make fun of without Sollux getting angry himself. When Ampora wasn't being the cutest little fish-eyed adorababbu that he was, he was infuriatingly annoying, vain, and… and… just _bitchy_.

But there was another part of him that Sollux had noticed, and that was that Eridan was:

_A) Observant._

_B) Very cocky but at the same time, shy and not very confident in himself._

_C) Just a little desperate for love._

_D) A complete and utter social dumbass._

The guy needed to learn some manners, some volume control, and he needed to learn how to not come off as a complete dickhead.

And with a devilish grin to himself, Sollux decided that it would be he himself who would teach him that lesson.

"Eridan!" Sollux called. "Come _on!_"

"Hold on!" was the muffled reply. "_Cod!_"

Sollux grabbed the skin of the bridge of his nose and nearly pinched it right off. With a angry stride, Sollux stomped into the hallway that led to Eridan's bedroom and kicked the door open.

He was sitting at a vanity.

A God damned _vanity_.

"A vanity? Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" Sollux practically whined with exasperation. Eridan glared at him through the mirror.

"O'course. Why the hell not?"

"I just… a vanity, man? Do you wear _makeup_ or something?"

"No, of course not. I need to make sure I wear the right scarf."

Sollux watched in horror as held up a red scarf to his neck, then the blue scarf, then the red scarf again.

"Which one would go best with my sweater?" Eridan asked, cocking his head and putting both scarves down to get a good look at his black sweater . Sollux's jaw practically dropped straight to the ground. Eridan flicked his eyes back to Sollux's through the mirror, scowling. "Well, you're of _no_ help, Sol. Thanks a whole lot."

"Your sweater is _black_," Sollux hissed through gritted teeth. "Meaning pretty much _anything_ goes with it!"

"Ah!" Eridan gasped, pressing the blue scarf to his chest. "Blue looks good today."

"Oh my fucking God," Sollux groaned. Eridan laughed and spun around in his vanity chair.

"I'm just kiddin'," he said. Sollux blinked.

"Huh?"

"I never use my vanity. I used to for plays and musicals, back in high school. It's only here as a nostalgia thing. Guys have to wear stage makeup too, you know," Eridan explained. He snorted a bit. "You were gettin' _mad_. You think I don't know that everything goes with black?"

Eridan put his scarf around his neck and came towards Sollux as he threw the tail end of his scarf over his shoulder.

"You just need to learn how to '_calm your tits_'," Eridan said lowly, dragging his finger across Sollux's chest as he passed. He paused in the center. "Mister…?"

"Captor," Sollux rasped. Eridan's lips curled into a sneer.

"…Mister _Captor_. Don't underestimate me. I can get nasty, too."

With a little smile. Eridan reached up, put his index finger on the underside of Sollux's chin, and-

_Snapped Sollux's jaw shut._

Just like in the shitty romantic comedies that Karkat watched. Just like the fucking _movies_. His teeth even gave the loud _click _when they came together in his mouth_ ._

With that, Eridan spun sharply on his heels and walked down the hall with the most perfect strut Sollux had ever seen.

And Jesus Christ he was staring-no, _gaping _at Eridan's _ass_ and oh God Sollux look away look away look away what are you even _doing_. Fuck.

_E) Eridan was sassy as fuck._

_F) His ass was perfect._


	11. Chapter 11

**BEGIN THE WAR OF WITS.**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 11]<p>

"You put way too much gel in your hair."

"I'll put as much gel in my hair as I Cod damn please."

"You look like a greaser from the like… twenties."

"That was the fifties you fuckin' dumbass. Haven't you ever seen _Grease_?"

"I saw it once back in high school when I was working the spotlight. The girl who played that one virgin chick had pit stains that night."

"_Sandy_."

"What?"

"That 'virgin chick' was the character Sandy. You know. _Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee_."

He hummed the rest of the tune. It was vaguely familiar, but not much. His singing voice was surprisingly pleasant.

"Look at me, I'm Sollux Captor," Sollux sang, mimicking Eridan in a raucous voice. "…and I don't give a flying rat's ass."

They continued bickering as they reached the end of the hall and waited for the elevator to arrive.

"Maybe if you worked backstage for a play, you'd have a better experience," Eridan said. "I think you just had a bad time because you were workin' with fuckin' amateurs."

"Implying you're not an amateur?"

"Hey! I'll have you know, I had a lead role in almost every play in high school."

"Maybe that's because everyone else sucked ass, too."

"Damnit, Sol, you're-"

The elevator _ding_ed and the doors opened. Eridan and Sollux stepped inside, but not with a little scuffle to see who would press the first floor button first.

Sollux won. Eridan pouted. The elevator went absolutely silent.

Sollux glanced over at Eridan. He was adjusting his glasses upon his face. He obviously wasn't used to it, as they were not his huge hipster glasses that Sollux had unceremoniously crushed with his 'big fuckin' Cyclops feet' as Eridan had called it. They were just regular black rectangle-rimmed glasses. Kind of like Sollux's, except with a thicker rim and more stylized temples.

"Hey. Look at me," Sollux said, turning his head fully to face Eridan. Eridan scowled.

"What? Gonna make fun of me again?" Eridan grumbled, looking at Sollux with a flourished flick of his hair (which didn't move at all even though the flick was so dramatic. Stupid greaser).

"No," Sollux said. "I just wanted to get a good look at your glasses."

He didn't think before moving his hand, and by the time he realized what he was doing, it was too late. His fingertips brushed across his cheek and ended in his hair. Sollux playfully tugged a little lock of hair that wasn't coated in gel.

"I like them. They look a lot better than those giant ones that you had."

Eridan's lips parted when Sollux touched him, and the compliment made him hunch his shoulders and bury his chin, lips, and nose in his scarf. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his fancy black felt pea coat. Sollux didn't get a vocal response from him, but thanks to his slicked-back hair, he could clearly see the tips of Eridan's ears turn bright red. When they got off the elevator and headed to the front doors, Eridan stomped ahead, his hands still awkwardly in his pockets.

He didn't care that he was blatantly flirting with a pompous asshole that he had just met. Sollux was a man, and a overly-horny man at that. He liked pretty guys, he liked cute guys, and he liked feisty (or sassy) guys, simple as that. Eridan was all three. There was nothing wrong with a little mindless flirting. In the best case scenario, Sollux could have Eridan tied and double knotted around his finger by the end of the following week, then have his pants off and in his bed by next Monday. Then he'd have a new fuck buddy to replace Dave. An added benefit was that it seemed like this Eridan guy was tangled pretty bad in the net of the friend zone, never to be rescued. And given that he was at a party looking for men to bring home, it sounded like he was just begging for his cherry to get popped by any man who came along and swept him off his feet.

In a way, Eridan was a lot like Karkat, and it was that trait that attracted Sollux to him so much. Both virgins, both starving (albeit one of them didn't know it) for romance and their first time having sex. Both had a quick temper, but at the same time they were fucking adorable and both of them had things about them that made them sexy. Karkat really had the upper hand on Eridan, however, because he actually had a _reason_ to be a complete asshole most of the time. Plus, Karkat wasn't a complete and utter _dipshit_.

"What do you want to do?" Eridan asked once they were outside, wincing against the cold wind and snow that hit him the second they were out the door. This didn't go unnoticed by Sollux, who put a hand on the small of Eridan's back and herded him in the direction of the parking lot in front of the building.

"Let's get in my truck and just drive around. See what's open. I'm sure there's a place downtown where we could go get some lunch."

"Oh… o-okay," Eridan said in a small voice, not rejecting Sollux's hand. "Aren't you cold? Your coat's just a little fall jacket and-"

"I'm just naturally warm-skinned."

"Wow. Lucky."

"It sucks in the summertime."

"I'd kill for that, though. I'm always so cold."

"Ah. Well hopefully I can get you warmed up."

"What'd you say?"

"In my truck, stupid," Sollux laughed as they got to his old blue pickup, which had big blotches of red rust all over the sides and the front. Eridan wrinkled his nose.

"You drove me home in _that?_"

"Be thankful it was an 'attractive man' in an old pickup who found you rather than a creepy old man in a pickup truck."

Eridan shut his mouth and blushed.

Sollux opened the door for him, and a bit of snow fell off the top of the door and onto the passenger seat. He brushed it off with his sleeve.

"Hop in."

Eridan put a cautious foot on the first step of the truck, then tried to hoist himself up and into the vehicle, but his foot slipped on the icy snow that had been packed onto the step. With a gasp, he stumbled back, straight into Sollux's awaiting outstretched arm.

"Need help?" Sollux teased into Eridan's ear. Eridan flinched and clapped his hand over his ear, flashing a glare back in Sollux's direction and shouldering him away from him.

"I can get in _myself!_" Eridan hissed, rushing up to the truck and jumping in, not caring that he didn't look very gracious when he did it. Sollux smirked and shut the door behind him before making his way around to the driver seat, opening the door, and retrieving a snow brush.

There wasn't much snow on the windshield, but it was just enough to block Sollux's line of vision. And he didn't want to make any mistakes while driving a rich boy around town. Eridan had made it quite apparent that he didn't have time for mistakes.

Sollux brushed the snow off of his side of the window first, then went around the front to brush off Eridan's side. When he revealed Eridan sitting in his seat, he had the visor flipped down and was quickly adjusting his hair and glasses. Sollux chuckled to himself, watching Eridan as he took his time to brush off the hood of the truck.

When he had had enough of watching Eridan primp and groom himself, he bumped the butt of his snow brush on the window. Eridan jumped so hard that the truck itself jostled a bit. Eridan flipped the visor back up and practically punched the window in the attempt to press his middle finger to the glass for Sollux to see. When Sollux heard the muffled '_fuck you_', he laughed and jogged back around to his side. He clambered up and into the truck, then slammed the door shut behind him.

"Turn it on, it's fuckin' freezin' in here," Eridan said, his teeth chattering.

"Alright, alright, try not to die on me."

Sollux dug the key out of his pocket and put it in the ignition before twisting it and waiting for a moment for the engine to roar to life.

"I said the heat, not the air conditionin'," Eridan growled as he flinched away from the cold air that came out of the vents.

"Just give it a second. Not every car is heated by the touch of God himself, you know," Sollux said as he looked over his shoulder and pulled out of his parking spot.

The trip was relatively silent until Sollux turned on some music. This, of course, was immediately shot down by Eridan, who claimed 'death metal is not music, you fuckin' waste of culture'. The radio was changed to a country station, switched back to death metal, country, death metal, country, until they finally agreed on a classic rock station.

"So what's your major?" Sollux asked, turning down the radio enough so he could hear Eridan's answer.

"I'm a double major in theatrical arts and-"

Sollux burst into laughter.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. But… 'theatrical arts'? _Really?_"

"Hey, fuck you. That's what it's called!"

"I'm pretty sure it's just 'theatre'."

"Just shut up and let me finish."

More laughter.

"Okay, okay. Go on, sorry."

"_Anyway_, I also major in music."

"Oh, music, huh? Vocal or instrumental?"

"Instrumental, but I sing for the choir, too."

"What do you play?"

"The saxophone."

Silence. Eridan was making it really hard for Sollux to maintain a conversation. The guy was surprisingly quiet and reserved, instead opting to lean up against the door and stare blankly out the window.

"So…" Sollux began slowly, starting for the volume control to turn the radio back up. "You have a lot on your plate, huh?"

"Oh yeah," Eridan said, his lips twitching a little bit. "Music is a lot of fun, and theatre is the best part of even going to this school."

"Oh," Sollux said, his hand pausing right before he turned up the radio. He put his arm back on the armrest. "Any minors for your future career? Like science or anything?"

"My only minor is musical history. And theatre _is_ my future career. I want to be an actor."

"Sweet. For like… plays and shit, or on TV?"

"It's called _Broadway_, and no, I don't have a preference on either. I just wanna be successful."

"Oh. Do you think you'll be successful?"

"O'course."

There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes as Sollux continued down the road towards the city.

"So?"

"What?"

"What do _you_ major in, then?"

Sollux blinked. That wasn't a question he heard very often. Usually people would chatter and chatter to him for so long that they'd completely forget he was even there. Sollux wasn't very explicit when it came to talking about himself, and he preferred it that way.

So when he heard the question, it took him a second to register it and answer.

"Uh… I major in computer science and I minor in web design."

"Ohh. Computer geek then, huh?"

"…You could call it that."

"Any extracurriculars?"

"I think I'm going to do tennis with Karkat in the spring."

"Oh. So you have a lot of free time?"

"Mhm."

"Lucky. Once I get started with the play, things are goin' to get busy for me."

"What are they gonna do?"

"Huh?"

"What play are they doing?"

"Oh. The big play this year is going to be Peter Pan."

"Oh. Cool."

"Yeah. Tryouts were actually a week or so ago."

"Oh really? What'd you try out for?"

"Peter Pan, o'course."

"…Is that it?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't try out for anything else?"

"Why would I?"

"What if you don't get that part?"

"Nobody else was good enough."

"Oh jeez," Sollux groaned. "That is the absolute worst mindset to have concerning college-level shit like that. Come on, Eridan."

"_What?_" Eridan hissed. "It's true, though. Back off, Sol."

"Okay, then. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't have to."

Things went silent again, although it was a bit more uncomfortable than last time.

"If you see somewhere that you want to go, just let me know," Sollux said when they had entered the downtown area.

"Holy fuckin' shit," Eridan gasped, jerking wildly as Sollux turned onto a street. "Be careful!"

"What?" Sollux asked. He snuck a glance at Eridan, and he gripped his seat.

"Keep your eyes on the road!"

"Oh," Sollux laughed. "Nervous, Ampora?"

"You're drivin' like an idiot!"

"I know what I'm doing. Chill."

"Jesus-"

"Hey, how about that place?" Sollux asked, taking his hand off the wheel to point to a café.

"I-" Eridan began. Before he could continue, however, Sollux turned the wheel of the car sharply, drawing a sharp cry from his lips. Sollux slipped into a parallel parking spot just before another car flew by.

"Well?"

Eridan, who was pressed hard into his seat while still holding onto the sides for dear life, slowly slid his eyes over to meet Sollux's.

"I… _hate_… your ever-lovin' guts."

"And you have a choice ass. C'mon."

Sollux hopped out of the truck as Eridan's mouth flapped like a fish. A second later, though, he was joined by him. Eridan stomped beside him, his face flushed red with anger and confusion.

"What did you just call me? Do you have a problem? I will beat the absolute shit out of you, you know, because you're scrawny as hell and you better hope to Cod that I don't-"

"You sure know how to carry on a conversation when you're pissed," Sollux said. He sped up a little to open the door to the café for Eridan, but Eridan just stopped in his tracks and scowled. Upturning his nose, he turned on his heel and went to the other door, which he wrenched open.

"I can open a door by my_self_!"

Eridan marched inside, leaving Sollux to unintentionally hold the door open for another couple and a single patron.

"Hot," Sollux muttered under his breath as he walked inside behind the crowd for which he had held the door open. He found Eridan quickly, and he had already taken off his coat and was primping his hair again. Sollux went to him, putting his hands in his pockets.

"You should really stand up straight," Eridan sniffed, giving Sollux a look-over. "You walk like a hunchback."

"You walk like you have a God damned stick up your ass," Sollux bit back. Eridan squinted at him.

The café wasn't too crowded, and before long, Eridan and Sollux were seated comfortably at a booth in the corner of the restaurant. Sollux had suggested to sit beside Eridan, but a low, throaty growl and a glare had responded to his offer. And so, Sollux sat across from Eridan.

Sollux put his elbows on the table while Eridan continued to sit as if the back of his booth was a bed of needles. The sort of just stared at each other and had a Gigantic Asshole vs. Gigantic Bitch/Cutie Patootie fight-to-the-death stare down.

"You said I had a choice as-"

"Yes."

Eridan glowered at Sollux before snapping his eyes away and puffing up his cheeks.

"You need to just calm down," Sollux sighed, leaning his chin on his hand and grinning at Eridan. Eridan flicked his eyes to him, looked away, then did a complete double-take. His face contorted.

"Are you _smolderin'_ at me?" he asked incredulously. Sollux lifted his head off of his hand, his brows furrowing.

"What?"

"Oh my Cod you were totally givin' me the smolder," Eridan moaned, rolling his eyes at the ceiling as his face lit up like a Christmas tree. "You were hittin' on me! You're hittin' on me, oh my Cod-"

Sollux leaned back in his seat as far as possible.

"What? No, what are you even- oh my God, you're such a little prick, I-"

"Sol, you're comin' on a bit too _strong_," Eridan cooed, putting his hands on his cheeks and wriggling in his seat. "Oh wow, don't you think you're gettin' out of hand?"

"You shut your fishy mouth," Sollux growled as nearby patrons gave them disgruntled looks. He pointed an accusatory finger at Eridan. A couple of nearby girls giggled at them and Jesus _Christ_ why were his cheeks heating up so bad?

Eridan immediately ceased his squirming and put his elbows firmly on the table. He steepled his fingers and glared evenly into Sollux's eyes.

"No but seriously," Eridan said softly. "Cut it out. You're a fuckin' creep and I don't like hangin' out with people like you."

Sollux bit the inside of his cheek.

Did he just get rejected?

Holy shit he really just got rejected.

"I'm not easy, Sol," Eridan sighed, sitting up and shrugging. He looked down his nose at Sollux and proceeded to adjust his glasses upon his nose (daintily of course). "And I know you're not that much of a dick, either. To hit on a guy you just met."

"I wasn't _hitting_ on you, I can _assure_ you," Sollux snarled through gritted teeth.

"I _told_ you, I'm a lot smarter than I look," Eridan snapped straight back. He flicked his hair back again (and again, nothing moved) and gazed into Sollux's eyes as if he was reading him like a text book. "…_Mister_ Captor."

"You are," Sollux began quietly. "The _queen_ of the assholes."

"I wouldn't go _that_ far. I can just tell when a guy is hittin' on me," Eridan said smugly. He rested his chin in his palm and batted his eyelashes at Sollux. "You're cute but you'll have to work harder to get this… 'choice ass'."

Sollux fought the urge to bash his head into the table. Instead, he curled his lips in irritation and let out a disgusted sound.

"I hate you," he finally uttered. Eridan flipped his hand dismissively, that stupid grin still on his face.

"Likewise."

A waiter came by with drinks on a tray, and set water down for both Sollux and Eridan. He took their orders for their drinks (a hot chocolate for Eridan and just water for Sollux) and left. Just before he walked away though, his eyes locked onto Eridan's for a split second.

And Eridan gave him a little smile and a wink.

"How is it that I'm creepy when I hit on you, but it isn't creepy when you hit on our God damn _waiter?_" Sollux exclaimed, gesturing to the waiter as he walked away.

"I have years of experience under my… _belt_," Eridan said dirtily, returning his gaze to Sollux and trailing the tip of his index finger around and around the lip of his glass of water. Sollux rolled his eyes.

"Lame."

"I know just the right amount of flirtin' to do before it's just a little much," Eridan explained. Then, he straightened, and the glower returned to his face. "Unlike you. You flirt and flirt and come onto people until you just turn into a creep. You're a creep."

"Says the _virgin_ at the table," Sollux countered, and Eridan shut his trap. "You don't know me."

"I've seen your type," Eridan said, putting his chin back on his hand. "And I do know some things about you. Some very interestin' things indeed."

Sollux heated up again, but it wasn't in the form of a blush. His eyes turned dark as they locked onto Eridan's.

"Too far, Ampora. If you're so smart, you'd know when you've crossed the line."

Eridan made a small, uninterested noise in his throat, then shrugged and picked up his glass of water. As he drank, he looked around the café, completely disinterested.

Sollux slammed his elbows on the table, and that actually made Eridan jump a little. However, Sollux didn't pay attention. He was too busy grinding his teeth towards the table and raking his fingernails across his scalp. Eridan was… Jesus Christ was there even a definition for this kind of guy anymore? He was shy, but not. He was stupid, but not. He was naïve, but most definitely not. He was a walking optical illusion. On one side, he was so God damn… _kawaii _and sweet and just all kinds of adorable and naïve. But the other side of him was cunning, and devious, and a fucking prude.

It was almost as if he was bipolar.

Or maybe Sollux hadn't even brought out his true personality yet.

The only thing that was definite was that this kid was so.

Fucking.

_Infuriating_.


	12. Chapter 12

**Alright, here we go! O: Gotta leave again so I don't have much time to talk - 3-**

**I've got just enough time to tell you guys that an official soundtrack for OHAC has been made. I was up late making it for your guys, so please enjoy it! :) This is the least I can do for you guys for all of the wonderful support, fanart, and fandrabbles that have been drawn or written. You can listen to the soundtrack by going to 8tracks(dot)com/bard-of-heart/sassy-bitches. More information about the soundtrack is on the website. :)**

**Anyway, here's chapter 12! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 12]<p>

Sollux eyed Eridan's fork as he fiddled with his food. He spun the tines around and around and around, not even lifting the utensil to his mouth once as he leaned his head on his palm. Meanwhile, Sollux hungrily wolfed down his lunch as if he hadn't eaten in days. They didn't even look at each other, and the silence was agonizing.

It was all so very, very awkward.

"Sooo…" Sollux began. He never finished, and Eridan didn't even look up. Just kept spinning, spinning, spinning his for-

"Will you cut that out?" Sollux blurted loudly, making Eridan jump and stare at him in shock. "All you've done is play with your food!"

"I don't really like it," Eridan sighed, looking down at his plate and grimacing a little. "The texture is all wrong. Not very satisfyin'."

"Then why did you order it?"

"It looked good on the menu."

"So you just ordered it all willy-nilly like that?"

"…I don't see what the big issue is."

"It costs _money_!" Sollux exclaimed. Eridan just raised an eyebrow, and Sollux groaned. "Oh, right. You're a loaded little princess."

"It's not _my_ fault I don't like it," Eridan sniffed. "And it's not my fault _you're_ poor."

"Poor," Sollux scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "I think you mean middle class."

"Right. Poor."

"Christ," Sollux muttered. He shoved a french-fry in his mouth and chewed furiously to keep his hands preoccupied from wringing Eridan's neck.

"So what do you usually do, since you've got so much time on your hands?" Eridan asked, setting his elbow on the table and cocking an eyebrow at Sollux.

"A bunch of gaming and stuff," Sollux said around the half-chewed food in his mouth, using the back of his wrist so Eridan didn't have to see in inside of his half-full mouth. He swallowed. "Coding and… some other things."

Their eyes met and something very dirty and sexual happened there.

"_Other_ things? Like what?"

Sollux tapped a fry against his slightly parted lips.

"Well, I don't want to boast or anything…"

"Oh, I assure you, I _won't_ be offended."

"…Let's just say '_unsatisfied'_ isn't in my vocabulary."

Ohohoho. How lame. But it was fucking hilarious to see Eridan fighting to suppress his laughter. His lips and chin trembled a little with each of the suggestive remarks that were passed back and forth, and Sollux found himself fighting back laughter as well.

It was almost refreshing for someone to actually be exchanging innuendoes with him without worrying about getting a bad reaction. It was just playful banter.

But at the same time, there was a brewing undertone of seriousness to each word. Even though they were fighting back laughter, beneath the table Eridan's foot moved to rest against Sollux's, and once and a while he would tap his shoe against Sollux's. Each tap was answered with another tap, and it just went on and on.

They were leaning closer into each other, too. Food was forgotten and turned cold as they just put their chins in their palms and gazed deeply into each other's eyes.

Sollux didn't know if he hated Eridan or if he wanted to slam Eridan on the table and wipe that smirk off of his face with the sloppiest makeout session the guy had ever experienced. At this point, Sollux didn't doubt if it was a little bit of both.

Was he a complete manwhore for wanting to completely devour a guy he just met right off the bat like that?

Maybe. Did he care?

Fuck no.

Eridan was a sexy, hot mess. And Sollux _liked_ sexy, hot messes. Thus, by the science of horny manwhorism, Sollux wanted Eridan.

_Bad_.

"You're smolderin' at me again," Eridan purred, and his smile was so smug that Sollux almost grabbed him by the hair and kissed him I mean slammed his face into the table.

"I don't even know what that means," Sollux sighed, shaking his head slightly. Under the table, Eridan's foot passed over his and his leg stretched a little so his calf could brush against Sollux's.

"Haven't you ever seen the movie _Tangled_?" Eridan asked, tilting his head a little.

"What? Yeah, I think I went to go see that once with one of my exes. She totally tricked me into going. I didn't know they were going to start fucking _singing_ or anything."

"Well a smolder is when someone gives another person a really… _hot_… look," Eridan said lowly. Sollux finally tipped his head back and laughed.

"Alright, alright. You got me. You seriously got that from a dumb _kid's_ romance movie?"

Eridan put on a defensive face.

"Hey, I like that movie!"

"Whatever."

"Hm…" Eridan hummed. That damn finger of his began circling the rim of his glass again, and Sollux's adam's apple bobbed ever so slightly in response.

"You're such a fucking tease," Sollux grumbled, his 'smolder' quickly dissolving into a glower. Eridan wiggled his eyebrows a bit. "Tell me, how is it okay for you to flirt with me, but the second I flirt with you, you turn on ultimate bitch mode?"

"Because I said so."

"Wow. Real mature."

"I'm fine with flirtin'," Eridan said, shrugging. Eridan's foot crept up Sollux's leg, then slipped between his knees and just barely grazed his inner thigh. Sollux's breath hitched and he twitched in his seat, earning the nastiest sneer he had ever seen. "Just not the kind that suggests that I'm goin' to be beggin' to be fucked after the first date. Flirt with me like a human bein', not like a bitch in heat."

"This isn't a _date_. And whatever you're doing down there is most definitely what I'd call a 'bitch in heat'."

"_I_ never said that this was a date," Eridan leered. "…_You_ did. Unless you _want_ to go on a date. Get to know each other better, hm…?"

"Ugh. You're not even cute anymore."

"What am I then?"

"Bloodthirsty," Sollux said slowly. "You suck the happiness right out of my body like some sort of fucked up hipster vampire. You're… you're adorabloodthirsty."

It was finally Eridan's turn to laugh, and he tossed his head back and laughed at the ceiling.

His laugh sent a shiver down Sollux's spine.

Not a bad shiver.

A very good, very _warm_ shiver.

Flustered by the sudden flutter of his heart, Sollux desperately looked for something to preoccupy himself with.

So he kicked Eridan in the shin.

Hard.

"_Ow!_" Eridan gasped, and the foot that was pretty much groping Sollux's legs shot away from him to cross over Eridan's freshly wounded shin. "That is _not_ how you play footsie!"

"It stopped being just 'footsie' when you started _molesting_ my leg with your foot!" Sollux hiss-whispered, leaning in close to Eridan so nobody else could hear him. Eridan harrumphed and put his elbow on the table so he could rest his head on his fist. He pouted and refused to look at Sollux.

Sollux just stared at him for a while, then his shoulders hunched a little and he put his head down a bit.

"…Are you okay?"

Eridan's eyes snapped to him and his lips began to curl into a sneer. Sollux slammed his fist down on the table - hard enough to rattle the salt shaker and plates, but not enough to attract attention.

"Damnit, Eridan! I thought I actually hurt you!"

"You did," Eridan said, straightening a bit in his seat. "But I'm not about to sit here and be a bitchy little pussy about it."

Eridan gathered his coat up into his arms.

"Come on. Let's go."

"You literally didn't eat anything-"

"I'll pay for everythin', now c'mon."

"Where's the fire?" Sollux said out of the corner of his mouth as he slipped back into his jacket and zipped it up. Eridan looked over his shoulder as they went to the front desk to pay for their lunch.

"In your pants, if I'm not mistaken," he whispered, and Sollux clenched his fists at his sides.

When their meal had been paid for, Eridan and Sollux exited the restaurant and went to Sollux's truck. They got in, and after some whining, turned the heat up to full blast. Sollux drove just as if not more recklessly than before, earning quite a few punches to the thigh and 'fuck you's. Eridan, who was properly distracted, did not notice when Sollux turned into a large grocery center parking lot. Sollux parked in the boonies of the lot, making sure to check that absolutely no one was around and that they were blocked from view from the highway by a couple pine trees. He shifted into _park_.

"What are we doin' here?" Eridan asked, looking around and tensing up a bit. Sollux relaxed in his seat and swung his arm up to rest on the back of the middle seat. He smiled a bit.

"You looked like you wanted to kiss me."

Eridan jerked his head back a bit, his nose wrinkling.

"What the fuck? I thought I told you before, I'm not goin' to just jump in anyone's arms, and especially not _yours_, you fuckin' creep-"

"I'm not asking you to jump in my arms. I just want to makeout."

"-and besides, you don't even-"

"Eridan," Sollux interrupted, rolling his eyes. He gestured down at himself. "Look. I'm still wearing my seatbelt. I'm not asking for sex, I get that you're too much of a prude for that. I'm not _forcing_ you to do anything. Just offering. You know, by 'making out' I meant just… two hot guys making out in an old pickup truck, alright? I'm not _proposing_ to you, Jesus Christ."

Eridan's protests trailed off as his cheeks began to turn pink. He scowled.

"You're an arrogant prick."

"I complimented you, too."

There was a long pause.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Sollux finally said, sensing Eridan's denial and discomfort on the horizon. He shrugged and pressed his foot down on the brakes to shift into reverse. "I'm sorry if I misjudged you or anything."

"Sol, wait," Eridan croaked. Sollux felt a chill go up his arm as a small hand touched his forearm. He looked over and oh fuck Eridan was blushing _hard_.

"Whoa," Sollux said. Now he felt _really_ bad. "I really didn't mean to make you so uncomfortable. I mean… shit."

"It's just freakin' me out a little," Eridan said slowly, still not looking up from the seat. "…How fast this is progressin'… does this happen a lot with you?"

"No," Sollux admitted, shaking his head a little. "I uh…"

Things got extremely tense.

"I want you," Eridan said quietly. Sollux's cheeks heated up again. "Real bad. But we only met just this mornin', and I'm not drunk or anythin', and it's makin' me dizzy, and-"

"Don't blame yourself," Sollux said as Eridan got a guilty look in his eye and began to fidget. "It's my fault."

"Egotistical bastard."

"No, my fault as in I feel bad for making it seem like I was forcing anything on you. I mean… I was at first, but then you said that you weren't going to be that easy, so I knew I couldn't force anything on you, but then in the restaurant I felt like both of us wanted it so-"

"Shut up," Eridan interrupted, promptly cutting off Sollux's rambling. "You know, you've been the nicest about it."

"…What?"

"Those guys I've taken home before," Eridan began, slowly unbuckling his seatbelt and shedding his coat. He began to inch his way towards Sollux. Sollux couldn't keep his eyes off of his God damned lips and those eyelashes that were impossibly long and his lovely, smooth skin and the soft curve of his jaw and oh _God_ this guy was perfect. "They were so much worse than you. Got hit a couple times before. But hey, what do you expect? I put myself out there at those parties, and I'm instantly labeled as a pretty boy and a faggot, so-"

Sollux backed up against the window as Eridan hovered over him and unbuckled his seat belt for him.

"You've made it obvious that you're neither of those," Sollux murmured as Eridan walked his fingers up the center of his chest and slowly unzipped his jacket. "I think you're pretty smart and I think you're _very_ attractive, but you're kind of an asshole but I kinda really like that about you-"

Eridan grimaced as he finished unzipping Sollux's jacket. He slid his hands up Sollux's chest and aided him in taking off the obstructing piece of clothing.

"Compliments won't make me feel better, Sol."

"I'm dead serious. I didn't offer to make out with you because I thought it'd be easy. I offered because you're hot and the exact opposite of a pretty boy or a faggot, and you weren't begging me for it so that made me want it more and…" Sollux insisted until he ran out of things to say. Eridan gazed down at Sollux, stopping in the middle of relieving him of his jacket. His arms caught behind his back, Sollux got a little nervous. "Eridan I don't really like being caught like this, can I-?"

"Oh, right," Eridan gasped a little, releasing Sollux's jacket and allowing Sollux to wrestle out of it and cast it to the floor of the truck.

"How could you do that to yourself, though?" Sollux asked, and he felt a mysterious aching pain in his chest for this poor guy who had been through so much. Sollux reached up and put his hands on Eridan's hips. Eridan shivered and his face got a bit closer to Sollux's.

"For the same reason that you act like a giant arrogant asshole who can get whatever and whoever he wants," Eridan said softly, his hand coming up to cup Sollux's cheek in his hand. "All I ever wanted was for someone to love me back."

Sollux's eyes widened a little as Eridan's lips twitched and he smiled listlessly. For a moment, a flicker of exhaustion went over Eridan's face. It was full of pain and guilt and an aching sense of 'I give up'.

"I'm surprised I haven't gotten raped yet," Eridan whispered, his voice quivering. He caressed Sollux's cheek, and his fingers were trembling just as violently. "How easy would it have been for someone to just hold me down and force me to do somethin' that I pretty much agreed to doin' the second I purposefully got myself fuckin' wasted?"

Sollux shook his head a little. Eridan's eyes creased.

"It would've been so easy that it's funny," Eridan breathed. His voice was almost a whimper now. "An' if it weren't for Fef, maybe I would've gotten raped or kidnapped or even killed."

Eridan's eyes began to water.

"But the fuckin' _second_ she leaves, I go an' get drunk again. An' I bring home a guy."

"You didn't bring me home," Sollux said softly. "I brought _you_ home."

"I don't ev-ven hav-ve to remember anythin' to know-w I did _somethin'_," Eridan said, ignoring Sollux's reassurance. His caressing of Sollux's cheek ceased and he took Sollux's chin into his thumb and forefinger. "But… I _do_ remember somethin'."

"What's that?" Sollux asked, his voice was just as quiet. Eridan smiled just a tiny bit.

"You were kind an' gentle," Eridan sighed. "An' v-very w-warm."

Sollux grimaced, a little embarrassed. Eridan's face became crestfallen, as if he had taken Sollux's reaction the wrong way.

"I disgust you, don't I?" he asked. "Cod, I… I really am a pretty boy, faggot, _slut, _I-"

"You're not disgusting," Sollux cut in, his eyebrows furrowing. "I think you're pretty clean."

Eridan snorted and giggled a bit, and as he did he sniffled and wiped the wetness from his eyes.

"And you're definitely _not_ a slut. And quit saying 'faggot'. That word's fucking stupid and you should feel stupid for saying it. If _anyone_ calls you that, they should feel stupid. Jesus Christ."

Eridan's lips pulled back into a little smile. He scrubbed a bit more of the wetness from his eyes.

"And you're _very_ pretty," Sollux said lowly. Eridan gazed down at him with puffy, bloodshot eyes. "Just not in the way you think you are."

"You're so nice," Eridan murmured. "I don't know if I-"

"Wanting to feel loved doesn't make you disgusting or slutty or anything. You're not bringing guys home because you like having sex or making out with random guys. You're doing it because you're like… lonely and shit."

Eridan nodded a little, gulping.

"And being lonely doesn't make you a slut, either," Sollux said. He thought for a moment. "It makes you a person."

Eridan snorted again. He gently patted Sollux's cheek.

"Like you have room to talk. You really shouldn't feel so guilty about everythin' that goes on with your uncle."

Sollux stiffened.

"You obviously don't like it," Eridan said. "An' even though you're all confident and cocky, there's part a' you that is insecure an' scared. You're afraid that, if your friends know that you're one hundred percent gay, they'll find out about your uncle. Even though that sounds completely an' utterly stupid, you're still scared shitless about it."

Sollux gaped up at Eridan.

"An' you know what? Bein' disgusted with yourself, feelin' scared, feelin' like you gotta hide, and feelin' like everythin' about you is dirty an' cowardly, that all makes you human," Eridan said with a little grin. "It's okay to be afraid of what your uncle might do if you tell people. It doesn't make you dirty or anythin'. You're only human, Sol."

"You-" Sollux croaked. He went quiet again. Everything he had said was the complete and utter truth.

This guy had known him for a day and he had already shelled out the feelings Sollux had kept buried inside of him. Everything was out on the table for Eridan to see, and Sollux felt more naked than he had ever felt in his entire life. So the only thing he could do was stare up at Eridan, completely dumbstruck and paralyzed with fear.

"It's true, isn't it?"

Sollux didn't have time to second guess himself. All he knew was that he was nodding just a tiny little bit. Eridan laughed.

"You look really dumb," he teased. Sollux cleared his throat and tipped his head back against the window.

"Hey, Ampora?"

"Mm?"

"Fuck you."

He stuck his middle finger up in Eridan's face. All he got in return was another laugh.

"Maybe we're so attracted to each other because we have so much in common," Eridan mused, tapping his chin.

"Maybe it's because we're a couple of crybaby pussies," Sollux grumbled out of the corner of his mouth. "You better keep your mouth shut about all this girly shit we're doing. Footsie under a café table? _Really?_"

"Whatever," Eridan said with a roll of his eyes. "It's only girly if you believe in gender roles."

"I don't. It's still girly."

"You're contradictin' yourself, dipshit."

"Hey, that's my word."

"I don't care."

"Fuck you."

"No."

They eyed each other for a moment.

"This is a really awkward position," Sollux commented, patting Eridan's hips to remind him how exactly they were positioned in his truck. Eridan blushed a bit, but his eyelids lowered.

"Do you still want to kiss me?"

"Hell _yes_," was the growled reply. Eridan didn't need to be told twice. Their glasses quickly got entangled in the heat of the moment, but they didn't seem to care.

God damn he was a good kisser. Eridan's lips felt just as soft as they looked, but the way Eridan kissed was much rougher and almost desperate for contact. Sollux lifted his hands to grab at Eridan's face to mash their lips together even harder.

Eridan let out a protesting noise and pulled away. Sollux watched as Eridan flicked his tongue over the droplets of saliva on his bottom teeth. He removed his own glasses and surged forward again, but this time he grabbed Sollux's wrist and brought his hand back to his ass. Sollux caught on quick, and before long his hands were all over Eridan's ass: squeezing and kneading and just getting a general idea of_ how fucking perfect it was._

Sollux didn't know how, but his glasses ended up on the floor. Being near-sighted, he could see Eridan pretty well, but it was still somewhat of a strain on his eyes.

But that wasn't what he was thinking about.

Rather, he was thinking about how he'd draw another gasp out of Eridan's mouth and into his, how he'd swipe his tongue over Eridan's next, how he'd deal with the arousal he was beginning to feel in the pit of his stomach. Yes, he had plenty of things on his mind. Thus, he could not even begin to give a shit that he was full-on _making out_ with someone he just met and (maybe?) partially hated.

_I've completely lost control of my life_, was the tiny thought nagging the back of Sollux's mind.

That thought was quickly dispelled when their lips detached just long enough for Eridan to whisper his name and let out a long, drawn-out moan.

Sollux didn't even think before breathing Eridan's name back at him and letting out a low grown himself.

Eridan's hands slipped down from Sollux's cheeks to unbutton the first button of his shirt, then the second. Sollux pulled away from him once again.

"What are you doing?" he panted, even though his hands were already moving to untie Eridan's scarf and throw it up onto the dashboard. Eridan didn't answer, and instead he hooked his finger on Sollux's shirt collar and moved it aside to latch onto the crook of his neck. Sollux shut his eyes and tipped his head to the side, a low growl bubbling up from his chest. "…_Fuck_."

Eridan's knee moved in between his legs and bumped against his groin, making Sollux draw in a sharp hiss. He reflexively shoved Eridan back a little bit. Eridan gave him a questioning look.

"Sorry," Sollux breathed. "You're making me feel a little caged in."

Eridan sat back on Sollux's lap, his hands still on his shoulders.

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

Eridan's arms coiled around Sollux's neck and, with a few incoherent murmurings, urged Sollux towards him. Eridan fell back on the seat of the pickup, dragging Sollux on top of him.

"We're not goin' to have sex, are we?" Eridan asked into Sollux's ear as Sollux trailed his kisses down from Eridan's lips to his jaw, then to his neck. He groaned against Eridan's skin, then pulled up to look into Eridan's eyes.

"Not unless you want to."

"…I don't, sorry."

"It's okay. I'm having fun just making out."

Sollux returned to work on Eridan's neck.

"No hic- _ah!_ No hickeys, okay?"

Sollux mumbled his affirmation.

"But… but if you want to touch my chest, I-"

"Jeez, shut up," Sollux sighed, resurfacing again. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do, so calm the fuck down. For someone who's such a cock tease, you sure are nervous."

But his hands trailed up Eridan's shirt as he spoke, making Eridan gasp and shiver.

"Virgin," Sollux laughed.

"Quit laughin' at me!" Eridan snapped. Sollux cringed away from his suddenly loud voice.

"Alright, alright. Quiet the fuck down. Just let me take care of things, okay? You're making me soft."

Before Eridan could possibly let out another protest, Sollux took his breath away with another kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

**Alright! I actually have time today. :)**

**Special thanks to _spazzykat_(x432853729058932 pieces of fanart, HOW DO YOU EVEN-), _creepinlikeataco_(x2 pieces of fanart), _iglow-in-thedark_,_ gunsandwwands_(x432853729058932 pieces of fanart, WHAT MY MIND IS BLOWN-), _robotwithamohawk_, _bovinolambo_, _ramenkittie_, _satiricalcyanide_, _invah_, and _godtieraradiamegido_ for their lovely contributions of fanart (and one fandrabble, thanks _biigbootybiiptche2_) to OHAC. Good lord, I did NOT realize how much fanart there was. Someone please pinch me, I must be dreaming that all of these amazing artists are loving my story. Seriously guys, I appreciate it so much. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see your wonderful art ;A;**

**Concerning the fandrabble, you can find it on my fanart page along with all of the other pieces of fanart at sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/ohacfanart. You don't have to be logged in to check them out, and you don't have to follow! Feel free to just browse all of the wonderful fanart :3. Also a special announcement about the fandrabble: It's canon to the OHAC story. Meaning that I will be making a few references to this fandrabble throughout OHAC. Granted, these references are not critical to the plot, but it's nice to have some background information, right? Again, you don't HAVE to read it unless you want a bit of sweet fluffiness in your life. You can find this piece, titled "_Merry Christmas_" on my fanart page.  
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**Also, just a tidbit of information: a couple chapters ago I used the word 'kawaii'. That was totally not canon and should be ignored x,D. I used it because I am constantly being dared to use certain silly words and phrases in OHAC. I apologize if that made any of you enter ragemode with me. 8,D**

**/shot**

**Okay! So, enough flapping my gums. Chapter 13! :) Sorry for the delay and whatnot, but it's here now.**

**Please enjoy. :)**

[Chapter 13]

Sollux turned into a parking space in the lot in front of Eridan's dorm building, then shifted into park. He turned down the radio and looked over at Eridan, who was still staring out the window.

"Eridan?"

Eridan jumped a bit.

"Huh?"

"We're here."

"Oh. Alright. Thanks for giving me a ride."

There was somewhat of an awkward silence.

"Um, Sol?"

"Yeah?"

"What am I to you?"

Sollux absentmindedly tapped his steering wheel, too embarrassed to look at Eridan.

"…What do you want to be?"

"I'm not sure."

"Me neither."

Another long silence.

"Sol, I think…" Eridan began slowly. Sollux saw him turn to him out of the corner of his eye. "I think… I just wanna be friends. Um… for now."

"For now?" Sollux asked, finally turning to look at his passenger. Eridan instantly looked away and fidgeted a bit. Sollux looked away again, frowning at his steering wheel.

"Uh, well, unless you want… somethin' more…"

"No, Eridan, it's fine."

"I think it'd just be better for both of us. You have someone you're in love with, and I have Fef."

Sollux looked at Eridan, his eyebrows knitted.

"Eridan, you gonna be okay?"

He was staring hard at his hands, which were folded tightly in his lap.

"I'm fine. It's just been a long, confusin' day."

"…C'mere."

Sollux unbuckled his seatbelt and shrugged out of it so he could lean forward. Eridan looked confused until Sollux reached out to take his chin into his hand.

Their lips came together into a much gentler kiss than before, but within seconds Eridan's hand flew up to cup Sollux's neck and pulled him closer.

When Sollux pulled away, Eridan followed him a bit and activated the locking device on his seatbelt. They pressed their foreheads together and laughed as Eridan blindly fiddled with the buckle of his seatbelt. The second it was unbuckled, though, Eridan ducked under the belt and flew into Sollux again. He pressed up against Sollux's body, arching his back to get as close as possible. His fingers tangled in Sollux's hair and pulled just a tiny little bit, eliciting a small hiss from his lips.

"Oh my Cod," Eridan breathed when they pulled away a second time. Sollux held Eridan by the waist as Eridan buried his face in the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply. "I could make out with you all night."

"Heh," Sollux snorted, hands trailing down to grab at Eridan's butt again. "You smelling me, dude?"

"Mmm. I love spicy pine smells."

"Want me to write down the name of my cologne for you?"

"Nah… I bet it'd only smell good on you."

Eridan pulled away and grinned at Sollux.

"…No homo, o'course."

Sollux gave Eridan a bewildered look before bursting into laughter.

"What? Are you _kidding_ me?"

"Yes," Eridan chuckled, leaning forward to pepper kisses all over Sollux's cheeks. He nipped a bit, too, making Sollux smile a bit.

"Hey, Eridan?"

"Mm?"

"Are you sure you don't want to…?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Eridan answered before Sollux could finish, sitting back. "I don't want to become a replacement for you, and I don't want to replace Fef with you, either."

"Okay…" Sollux trailed off. "Then… friends with benefits?"

"Nope," Eridan said, shaking his head again. "Not even that."

"…Uh… makeout buddies?"

"How about just 'friends'," Eridan answered. He cupped Sollux's face in his hands. Sollux blinked.

"Wh-… Wait, does that mean no more making out?"

He hated how disappointed he sounded.

"Yeah," Eridan said, leaning forward again to peck the side of Sollux's mouth. "That's exactly what it means."

"That doesn't make sense, you're kissing me right now."

"We've both had rough days."

"Implying that that instantly gives you the rights to kiss me again?"

"Yes."

"That's against the rules, fish boy."

"Screw the rules, I have money."

"…You did _not_ just use an internet meme in a real life situation."

"Problem, Sol?"

"…You just made me want you _so_ much more."

"I want you, too," Eridan said, pulling back and tapping Sollux's lips with his index finger. "But I want you because it's you. You want me because I remind you of Karkat, right?"

Sollux waited a second too long to answer, and by then he knew it was too late to save himself. So he kept his mouth shut and averted his eyes.

"He'll come to his senses," Eridan said encouragingly, patting Sollux's cheeks. "Because it's so… _damn_… hard to resist you."

Eridan pressed forward and kissed Sollux's lips again.

"And you call _me_ contradictive. I thought you liked this 'Fef' chick. What's this whole appeal with me?"

"You're a man. I can't help it."

They kissed again.

"Really now? Is it just 'cause I'm a man or am I just that attractive?"

"Shh."

Another kiss.

"Man, you just can't get enough, can yo-"

"More."

And another.

"_Christ_, Eridan."

"Shut up, I do what I want."

"Yeah but you just said that we can't-" Eridan leaned in for another kiss. "-make out anymore and bluh bluh bluh_mmmn_."

This time, when Eridan pulled away, he took hold of Sollux's lower lip between his teeth and lightly pulled as he withdrew. Sollux let out a low growl and followed Eridan for just one more, but Eridan reached up and blocked his lips with his hand.

"No more," he said. Sollux scowled.

"Really? You're going to leave me with that? You were the one initiating our little moment just now, you know."

"And?"

"…Pompous little bitch."

"Arrogant prick."

Eridan darted his tongue over his swollen bottom lip and inched away from Sollux towards the passenger door.

"See you," Eridan said, cocking an eyebrow. Sollux nodded, a bit dazedly.

"Hey, wait, Eridan?"

Eridan paused, his hand on the handle.

"Yes?"

"Don't bring any more guys home, alright? I'm like… yeah, I hardly ever sleep anyway, so just text me if you ever need me to come over, okay? We don't have to kiss or make out or anything, we can just sit and talk if you want."

Eridan stared at Sollux before cracking up. His face split open into a huge smile and he squeezed his eyes shit as he hiss-laughed.

And Sollux gaped right back at him.

Now if that wasn't the most fucking gorgeous smile he had even seen-

"Okay, Sol," Eridan said, still a bit smiley when he pull on the handle of the door. It popped open and Eridan cringed against the early winter chill once more. "So I'll… see you later?"

"Yeah."

Eridan gave Sollux a little eyebrow wiggle before finally sliding out of the truck and slamming the door shut. Sollux kept an eye on him as he hunch-walked back to the front doors of his building, keeping his eyes trained on his ass until he couldn't see him anymore.

And that's when the guilt struck him.

"Oh man," Sollux groaned, tipping his head back in his seat and digging the heels of his hands into his eyes in frustration.

He had literally met some guy and was interested in him right after breaking up with Aradia. By afternoon, they were making out in his truck and crying like little babies to each other.

God damnit Sollux really needed to hug the stuffing out of his bee the second he got his hands on it.

He shifted into reverse and backed out of the parking spot, then practically spun out on the slush in the middle of the lot. It was a relatively short drive, but it felt like years to Sollux, whose shoulders tensed and hunched more and more with each minute that dragged by.

He really-

He really was a disgusting piece of shit.

Sollux slammed on the brakes when he realized that we was turning into another parking space and not just turning a corner. He barely avoided driving up onto the sidewalk. Getting out of his truck and slamming the door behind him, Sollux trudged up to the front doors of his and Karkat's building. He brooded the whole way down the hall, into the elevator, all the way up to his and Karkat's floor, and all the way back down the hall. By the time he got to the door, he was trembling with the strength of his self-loathing, and he could barely get his room key into the keyhole.

When the door opened, he found Karkat lying down in his bed, curled up into a ball with their little DVD player sitting in front of him. Wrapped up in his arms was Sollux's bee.

Karkat looked up when Sollux walked in and quietly shut the door behind him, but didn't make a sound. The room grew very quiet as Sollux went to his own bed, plopped down on the edge of it, and stared at Karkat from across the room.

"Do you want your bee?" Karkat finally asked.

"_Yeah_ I want it."

His response was too quick and snappish to be normal. Karkat wordlessly tossed the bee across the room, and Sollux caught it with one hand. He looked at it for a moment, whirled around in his bed, and lied down facing the wall. He curled around his bee and shut his eyes, but he could not bring himself to relax.

A long time passed before he felt the bed dip behind his back. A hand ghosted over his hair, his neck. Two fingers pulled back the collar of his shirt.

"I thought something was off about your neck. You have a fucking hickey."

His voice was not pleased at all.

"You have a fucking hickey, and you broke up with Aradia _yesterday_."

Sollux ducked his head into the plush surface of his stuffed bee.

"How are you not fucking disgusted with yourself right now?"

"Shut up!"

His voice came out louder than he had intended, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Just _shut up!_"

"Jesus Christ, Sollux. You-"

"_Stop talking!_"

His voice was a full-out shout now. He sat up abruptly, hurling his bee to the bed and watching as it bounced off his mattress and fell behind the headboard. His shoulders twitched and convulsed with the rage bubbling up from his throat and into his mouth. It infected his lips with the evils of what he didn't dare to ever say, but his fury was so intense that everything came spilling forth in a great glob.

"Who are you to decide how to live my life? Are you my fucking _mother?_ What part of you thinks it's _ever_ okay to order me around?"

He was bellowing but he didn't want to. But he couldn't stop, no matter how shocked Karkat had begun to look, even when he had begun to back away. Sollux slid out of bed and towered over his best friend, his glasses knocked askew and his eyes wild.

"Who do you think you are? You don't know me! You don't have a fucking _clue!_"

"Sollux, I-"

"_You_ feel like a shitstain? You think _your_ life is miserable? Well fuck you, because you've got another fucking thing coming!"

Roaring.

He was roaring.

"All my life I wondered, hey, is it fucking _normal_ for your fucking uncle to touch you, and to pin you down and make you feel like the dirtiest piece of _shit_ on planet earth? No, it's _not_ normal!"

Sollux stormed across the room and picked up his iPod off of their shared desk. He whirled around and showed it to Karkat.

"A gift for sucking his _dick!_" he raged. He hurled the iPod away from him as hard as he could, and it broke into pieces against the wall. Karkat gaped at him as Sollux went back to the desk and picked up a framed photograph of him and his uncle that had been taken when he was only seven. He was on his uncle's lap.

He looked like a happy, wonderful child.

But Sollux knew the truth behind that oblivious, naïve smile.

"_Fucking lies!_" he screamed, and he threw the picture away from him like a frisbee. It too shattered against the wall.

"Stop it!" Karkat shouted, suddenly finding his voice. Sollux wavered, but before he could control himself, he turned back to the desk and swept his arms across it. Papers and pencils and cups went flying all over the place, fluttering to his feet.

"_I fucking hate him!_" Sollux bellowed, his voice cracking on nearly every syllable.

Sollux went straight to the nearest wall and lashed out against it with his fist, and the sickening crack of his knuckles giving way to the wall only fueled his rage more.

He dug into his pocket and his phone was flung against the adjacent wall as well, but of course the piece of shit didn't break. Instead, it bounced off the wall and crashed into Karkat's bedside table, knocking a picture of Karkat's family to the floor.

The slam of the door brought Sollux to his senses, and when he turned around, Karkat was gone. His chest heaving, Sollux looked around the room to observe the damage.

It was as if a tornado had torn through the room.

Still buzzing from the high of his adrenaline rush, Sollux flopped down on his bed and almost furiously tapped his foot. He rested his head in his good hand and flexed the other one.

It popped when he tried to move it, and Sollux hissed out a long string of curses.

Five minutes later, there was a jostling at the door and Karkat burst in, carrying a bucket in his hands. For a split second, Sollux thought he was going to dump it on his head, but then Karkat set it on the ground and reached inside to retrieve a small white dishcloth.

"Where'd you get that?" Sollux asked, his voice hoarse.

"Shut the fuck up."

Karkat reached out to touch Sollux, but Sollux fiercely slapped his hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me."

Karkat scowled.

"I'm not scared of you, you fucking dickhead."

He shoved Sollux down onto the bed and slapped the ice-cold washcloth over his face. Sollux blinked behind the washcloth, utterly confused. He felt cold, wet hands sprinkle little droplets of water all over his neck, and Sollux found himself relaxing into the mattress.

"What're you doing?" he asked after a while, lifting his hand to move the washcloth. A hand yanked his away.

"Don't touch it. Leave it," Karkat said sharply. Sollux let his arms flop down to the bed. "Back in elementary school… uh, before we met, I used to have really, really bad anger problems. More so than I do now, even. Like… I was actually diagnosed with something. I can't remember what it was now, but I know I was diagnosed with _something_. Anyway, to get me to calm down, my mom would lay me down like this and put a wet washcloth on my face. Then she'd just put water on me and it'd make me feel better. Cooled me down, shit like that."

"Can I take off my shirt?"

"What?"

"Put water on my chest, too. This feels so fucking good, you have no idea."

"…Is this some kind of weird, fucked up trick?"

"Karkat…"

"Fine. Hurry the hell up, I still have shit to get done this weekend."

Sollux felt the washcloth lifted from his still flushed-red face, and Karkat dipped it back in the ice water as Sollux worked to wrestle himself out of his shirt. Sollux lied back down and the washcloth was back on his face a second later. Tiny droplets were flicked over his torso, flecking the taut skin with beads of water that glistened with the angle of the light. Sollux sighed and opened his palms, and water was splashed there, too.

"So…" Karkat trailed off. "This whole time, your uncle has been…?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Ever since I can remember."

"Wow. No Harry Potter slash internet meme reference? Must be serious fuckin' business."

Sollux let out a snort.

"Dude, did you break your hand?"

"Man… I don't know. I'm kinda freaked out about it."

"Let me see."

Sollux felt his hand enter Karkat's, and he was handled so gently that he nearly drifted to sleep. But of course, he couldn't, because his heartbeat sped up when Karkat touched him.

"I don't think you broke it. Probably strained the fuck out of it, though."

"Great."

"It's your fucking fault. Why did you punch a God damn wall?"

"I was angry."

"Wow. You really are a worthless pile of shit, you stupid fuck."

"I'm still mad, Karkat," Sollux muttered. "I'm so fucking pissed off, I-"

More cold water splashed across his chest.

"Mom won't answer my texts anymore. I'm beginning to wonder if she even wants me."

"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding."

"But she-"

More water. Sollux actually let out a small, pleasured grunt in response to it.

"You like this a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah," Sollux responded. He let out a low, deep rattling noise from the pit of his chest. Above him, he heard Karkat laughing.

"You're fucking purring, dude."

"No I'm not."

"You are. You sound like a fucking lion or something."

After a while, Karkat's hand came to rest on the center of Sollux's chest. Intrigued by the sudden change of atmosphere, Sollux lifted the washcloth away from his face. Karkat was looking away, staring distantly at the window over the computer desk.

"Do you think someone heard me?" Sollux asked. Karkat paused before absently shaking his head.

"…I don't think so. Almost everyone went out. It's Saturday, man. Get with the fucking program."

"But you stayed here?"

Karkat looked down at Sollux, glowering.

"I was waiting for you to come home, jackass."

"…Oh."

"I don't think you're worthless, or… whatever the hell else I called you earlier. For the most part. There's part of you that's a real fucking douchebag. Then there's the other part. The cool guy that I fucking _roomed_ with. But now that I… um. Sollux, now I can understand why you're so angry with… everything."

Sollux's breath hitched as Karkat reached up, hesitated, then began stroking Sollux's bangs back.

"What's on your mind?"

His voice was uncharacteristically soft. His eyes were soft with sympathy and love.

Not the romantic kind of love. Just the love of a friendship that had just become more deep and more real than before. Now Sollux was out in the open for two people to see: his best friend that he had known for years, and some guy he had just met -literally- on the streets.

There was something intimate about it all, and Sollux soon found himself with molten-hot cheeks and an inability to look Karkat in the eye.

"I'm gay," he finally said, and his voice was terrified and tremulous. Karkat was silent. "I've never liked girls like that."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was scared."

"Of?"

"You guys finding out about what my uncle was doing. I didn't want to look like I had that… stock-something syndrome or whatever it's called when you start liking getting raped by your rapist… or whatever. And uh… I don't want it to look like my sexuality was influenced by his, I me-"

"What the fuck does being gay have to do with it?"

"…My uncle's a ma-"

"There's nothing _gay_ about that at all," Karkat snapped. Sollux looked up at him, and his face was twisted into rage and sadness and guilt. Sollux almost wanted to reach up and touch him to comfort him. "Being gay is… well, it's not that. It's not what your uncle does to you. That's fucking non-consensual sex. That's fucking _rape_. I'm not even gay myself and it pisses me off that you'd even put that shit in the same category as what you are."

"Karkat-"

"_You_ are gay," Karkat growled, pointing at Sollux's face. "Your uncle's a rapist and a pedophile. There's a God _damn_ fucking difference. Get it fucking right, you shitting lowlife."

Sollux stared up at Karkat for a moment before pressing the heel of his good hand to his forehead and pressing down hard. His head was spinning so fast and so hard that he was afraid he'd vomit.

He was gay.

And his uncle didn't have a single thing to do with it.

_His uncle had nothing to do with it._

His friends would be okay with knowing.

Because his uncle had _nothing_ to do with it.

Being gay wasn't linked to what his uncle had been doing.

Sollux had been born with his sexuality, and what his uncle was doing was just an unfortunate coincidence.

_He wasn't disgusting at all._


	14. Chapter 14

[Chapter 14]

Weeks passed. Sollux didn't receive a word from Eridan, or from anyone for that matter. Rather, he let himself slip into a phase of just thought and coding. As the numbers whizzed by his eyes on his computer screen, he pondered and mulled, pondered and mulled. He barely had to even think about coding anymore to do it right; his eyes just seemed to naturally dart over each and every line of coding and comprehend it without fault.

Fall break was approaching, and Sollux knew deep down that his uncle would be coming up to see him. He didn't even need to check his phone. His uncle would find him, approach him, would make them spend several days together.

Sollux didn't doubt that his uncle would make him come back to his hotel room, either.

So Sollux buried himself. He buried himself in codes, in Minecraft, in any damn game he could. His smoking grew worse with each passing hour, and before long it got to the point where he'd go through a box a day.

Karkat hated it. However, he didn't do much to stop his best friend. Rather, when Sollux would slam his elbows down on his desk and hold his throbbing head in his hands, Karkat would silently deposit Babbu the bee in his lap.

And that was just fine with Sollux.

On one particularly blustery, snowy day, while Karkat was out, there was a knock at the door. Sollux heard it but didn't register it until the third knock, during which he jumped violently and shot to his feet.

The door opened to reveal a shorter girl, with reddish brown hair. She was wrapped up in a multicolored winter coat, and her cheeks were pink and rosy with the cold. Before she spoke, she pulled down her muffler.

"Hi. My name is Feferi Peixes," she said, and her voice was whimsical and light, almost as if she was talking to Sollux through a wall of water. "I'm… well, you saw me a while ago."

"Uh, yeah," Sollux said, still a little dazed from being pulled out of his bubble of coding. He scarcely knew what month it was.

"I'm sorry if this sounds stalkerish, but please, I looked everywhere for you! Can I please come in and talk for a second?"

"…Sure."

Extremely wary of the girl who had nearly ran him over several weeks ago, Sollux hesitantly stepped back into his room and held the door open for her. She thanked him with a small smile and stepped inside. Sollux shut the door behind her, and there was an awkward pause.

"Uh… you can sit anywhere, I guess," Sollux said, gesturing to his bed. Feferi glanced at the bed, then back to Sollux before letting out a small, nervous laugh. Sollux held out his hand. "Here, I'll take your coat and stuff."

Feferi nodded and slipped out of her coat, scarf, mittens, and earmuffs. All of it got piled into Sollux's arms, and he promptly went over to deposit it all in Karkat's bed.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Sollux finally asked as he smoothed out Feferi's expensive-looking coat and separated it from her other winter gear. When he turned around again, she had removed her boots and was perched on the very edge of his bed. She was exceptionally beautiful when she wasn't raging, Sollux decided. She wore a magenta sweater dress with intricate patterns in the stitches. Her legs, clad in black tights, were folded neatly and daintily to the side, her small ankles crossed. She had her tiny hands folded nicely in her lap, and her deep, reddish brown hair was big and framed her heart-shaped face with thick, bouncy ringlets. She wore a surprising low amount of makeup, as her natural facial features and large hazel eyes made up for the lack of makeup.

And the freckles. There were _so many of them._

Naturally, Sollux's main reaction to Feferi's appearance was one simple word: '_ginger'_, but he could also see why she was an exception to Eridan's sexuality. She was gorgeous.

"Eridan," she said in her light, whimsical voice. "You were at his apartment a couple weeks ago, yes?"

"Yup," Sollux said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Feferi frowned and looked down at her lap.

"I am _soooooo_ sorry you had to see me melt down like that," Feferi groaned. She slapped her hands over her face and shook her head. "I'm usually not like that, I promise!"

"Just calm down, Feferi," Sollux said gently. He strode across the room and sat down beside Feferi on the bed. "I wasn't too shocked, given how much of an asshole Ampora is."

Feferi giggled and looked up from her hands. She smiled sadly down at the floor.

"He isn't mean," Feferi sighed. Then, she snorted a little. "At least not all the time. He's really a sweetheart. He's kind and loving when he wants to be, and he cares so much about the people he loves… he just has a bad time of showing it. Sometimes he focuses so much on looking good in front of the people that he loves and wants to impress that he makes himself seem vain or bitter."

Feferi cupped her hands over her heart and smiled a little.

"And when he falls in love, he is a diamond in the rough. He is gentlemanly and affectionate and… just a wonderful man."

"Then why don't you date him?"

Feferi's smile faded a little, and she let her hands drop back into her lap.

"I love Eridan. I really do. But I love him as a brother. He's my family, and I don't want to risk ruining that by dating him and then having it not work out. He's… well…"

"He's gay," Sollux stated, and Feferi turned her head to him and stared in shock. "I know. It was sort of an accident that I found out. Don't ask."

"Oh. Well. Alright. Yes, Eridan's gay. But… he claims that he has made me his 'special exception'," Feferi quoted, dropping her voice an octave and mimicking Eridan's accent almost perfectly. To that, Sollux chuckled. Feferi chortled a bit as well. "But all silliness aside, I don't think Eridan truly is inlove with me. Maybe he loves me, but he's not _in_ love with me. I can tell. I think… I think what he needs is for someone to be with him."

"And why can't that be you?"

"Because I've been with him my entire life, uh…" Feferi trailed of expectantly, giving Sollux a sheepish grin.

"Sollux Captor," Sollux replied pleasantly. "Nice to meet you."

Feferi laughed that tinkling laugh again.

"Nice to meet you too, Sollux. Anyway, I've been with Eridan almost my whole life. I think it's time that he… moves on. Tries to find some new friends and stuff like that."

"You don't want to be his friend?"

"Of course I do," Feferi sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It's just that I'm not always going to be here with him."

"Hm?"

"I'm going to medical school to become a pediatrician," Feferi explained, her face lighting up with inspiration and hope. "It's my dream to provide medical care to children, and when I'm trained enough, I'd like to go to Africa to help out!"

Feferi bounced a little to emphasize her excitement towards the matter. Sollux cocked a brow.

"Africa, huh?"

"I want to make a change in this world," Feferi said softly. "Even if the change is small, I want to do whatever I can."

"Those are some pretty big dreams."

"Yeah, but I _know_ I can do it!" Feferi exclaimed, smiling her huge, toothy smile and throwing her arms up in triumph. She put her arms down again and faced Sollux, her grin just as big as before. "You know what's funny? I _really_ wanted to be a marine biologist at first, but I think I have much more potential than just helping the marine life! Even if the dolphins and squids are so _cute! _But I think there are plenty of people helping them out as it is. Not very many people get to go to _Africa_ to help the kids there!"

The more Feferi talked, the more excited she got. The more excited she got, the more she blabbered. Sollux couldn't help but be wholly amused by the adorable nature of this girl who had been speaking to him so solemnly and softly only a few minutes prior. Sollux just smiled and let himself relax. Rather than being annoyed with Feferi's personality, he was comfortable. The more this girl talked about herself, the less he had to talk about himself. It all worked out.

"Oh!" Feferi suddenly gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. "I forgot that we were talking about Eridan!"

Feferi slumped.

"Oh, I'm a terrible friend… I've done nothing but talk about myself-"

"No, I don't think you're a bad friend. I can see why Eridan likes you so much."

"I think you're wrong about him liking me, I really do!"

"How so?"

"Like I said, I think he just doesn't want to be alone. He's really lonely. But at the same time, since I want to live in Africa one day, I don't want to be the only person Eridan can turn to. He has dreams, too. _Big_ dreams that he won't be able to accomplish in Africa. If I go to Africa being the only person in Eridan's life who he can trust and love, then we've both got a problem! I can't drag Eridan around with me for the rest of my life, and he can't follow me to Africa. He's got to go out and find new people.

"Which is why I had to break his heart like that. It was terrible, I know. I told him that he was smothering me and that I didn't want him as a roommate and… basically told him I don't need him in my life anymore. But… but it was f-for both of our own g-goods, even th-though he looked s-so sad and he w-was crying-"

Feferi's voice cut out and she looked down at her lap as tears swam in her eyes. She rolled her eyes back in a vain attempt to air-dry her tears.

"I just didn't know what to do anymore. I had to do it for the better of both of us. And I _hate_ myself for it."

Sollux awkwardly reached out to rub Feferi's back. He felt a heavy pang of sympathy for the girl. She truly cared about her friend but threw herself into the line of fire to give him the opportunity to do great things.

Meanwhile, a different emotion -anger- began to claw at Sollux's sides. Eridan was making it so much harder on Feferi than he had realized. The poor girl had enough on her platter, and Eridan was trying to force her into something that he didn't even truly want or need.

"Don't be mad at him," Feferi murmured, frowning as she looked Sollux in the eye. Tears had gathered at the corners of her eyes, but now a single drop fell. "Eridan's really a good person. He's just scared. He feels the need to protect me, yet it's really him who needs protection. He's sensitive about… who he is. What he doesn't hear won't hurt him, yes, but when he sees or notices other people pointing at him and laughing, he gets incredibly upset. He… needs some friends other than me."

"What about in theatre?"

Feferi grimaced.

"He's having some trouble adjusting to college life."

Sollux got the vibe that that wasn't the only reason why Eridan didn't have very many friends.

"So… Sollux?"

"Hm?"

"Are you his friend?"

Sollux thought for a moment, scratching the slight stubble that had grown on his chin after a couple days of half-assing his morning shaving routine.

"We haven't talked in a while. I don't know what's going on with that whole thing."

"_Please_ be his friend. At the very least, be there for him if he needs someone. I don't know you very well, but I can tell that you're a good person. Even though… you're a little rough around the edges."

Feferi gave Sollux a big, cheesy wink. Sollux eyed her warily.

"…What does that mean?"

"Oh, I don't know," Feferi shrugged. "I'm getting the vibe that you're just a little rough is all."

"Should I be flattered or insulted?"

"Flattered."

"Alrighty then."

There was somewhat of an awkward pause as Sollux reached over and retrieved his cellphone from the bedside table. He flipped it open, revealing a notification that he had received a text. Noticing it wasn't from Kenneth, Sollux opened it.

_babe. you. me. sick beats. now._

Sollux's lips twitched up into a smile at the sight of the text from his ironical half-polyamorous, half-sappy, tied-down-to-one-guy friend. Briefly, he wondered if Dave was still down for some casual sex, even though he was dating John and had claimed to be one-hundred percent faithful to him.

"Hey, Feferi, I just got a text from one of my friends, and he says he wants me to come over," Sollux said, looking up from his phone. Then, he felt rude. "Uh… so…"

"No worries, I understand!" Feferi said with that chipper, fluid voice of hers. She jumped up from the bed and Sollux followed so he could go to Karkat's bed and grab Feferi's outdoor garments for her.

"I'm sorry I gotta leave on such a short notice," Sollux apologized, helping Feferi into her coat and scarf before handing her the earmuffs and mittens. She slipped them all on with the grace of a dancer.

"It's alright, I promise!" Feferi said. "I have some things to get done today, too. So…"

Feferi pulled a phone out of her pocket.

"What's your number?"

Somewhat startled by the sudden question, Sollux stumbled through the recitation his number, making Feferi giggle a few times.

"Alright. I'll text you sometime, okay?"

"Uh… yeah. Sure."

Feferi waited a moment before enthusiastically throwing her arms around Sollux and squeezing with all of her might. Sollux wheezed and squirmed a bit, not accustomed to so much contact all at once. Feferi then stood up on her tiptoes and planted a tiny peck on Sollux's cheek.

"You're the best," Feferi cooed. She gave Sollux one more hug and bounded to the door. "Bye bye!"

"Bye… bye," Sollux repeated dumbly, reaching up to wave. Feferi chortled and skipped out the door, her curls bouncing behind her.

In the silence of the dorm, Sollux reached up and touched the place where Feferi had kissed his cheek.

And suddenly understood absolutely nothing.

How could such a sweetheart: a sweet, innocent, absolutely beautiful girl, possibly be in cahoots with Eridan of all people?

Sollux would never know.

Instead, he packed up a few things that he thought he'd need for Dave's place, his mind lingering on Feferi's kindness towards her friend. Naturally, Sollux's mind drifted to Eridan as well, then stayed there so he could mentally check him out.

Maybe there was still some good people left in the world.

* * *

><p>"Dave, open up," Sollux told the door to Dave's dorm room. He kicked it a little with the toe of his Converse, careful to not jostle the equipment he had cradled lovingly in his arms.<p>

A second later, the door swung open to reveal Dave in his usual black sunglasses and red broken record shirt. Dave looked up to him and his lips quirked ever so slightly into a miniscule smile.

How adorable, Dave was excited and ecstatic to see him.

"Come on in, dude," Dave drawled, lazily stepping out of the way and holding the door open for Sollux to shuffle in. "Just drop all that shit on the bed and we'll sort it out later."

"Got it."

Sollux went to Dave's surprisingly neat-and-tidy bed, then carefully set all of his equipment down for later organization. Then, Sollux rotated on the spot, looking around the room.

"Nice. Is that a new poster?"

But before he could get an answer, Dave was standing before him, his hands reaching up to grasp the temples of Sollux's glasses. He carefully slid them off before standing up on his tiptoes to drape his arms over Sollux's shoulder.

A moment later, they were kissing. It was a little rough due to the chapped skin of both pairs of lips, but Sollux didn't mind. Instead, he was glad to have skin-on-skin contact with Dave again. It felt good, and he didn't let his mind wander to the possibility that John was still in the vicinity for even a moment.

No, instead he put a hand on Dave's hip and dipped his thumb into the waistline of his heart-printed boxers, which were sticking up and out of his jeans. In response, Dave tightened his arms around Sollux's neck and tilted his head for a better angle.

"_Dave!_"

Both boys jumped apart, their heads swiveling frantically to the direction of the voice. John stood in the doorway, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Sollux.

"Whoa, I-" Sollux began, lifting his hands in surrender.

"You cheating _bastard!_" John exclaimed, stomping up to Dave and reaching out to him with not-so-nice grabby hands. Sollux made a move to rush to Dave and protect him, but before he could, John flew into Dave and gave him a big hug around the neck. Dave responded by putting one arm around his waist and proceeding to kiss him, although it was much gentler than the kiss Sollux had received.

"Hi again, idiot," John greeted in a forced baritone voice to Sollux, his arms still draped over Dave's shoulders. "How's Karkat doing?"

"Wait-" Sollux began, squinting.

"You've just been prank'd by the _master_," Dave said wryly. Sollux could practically see him rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"But didn't you see his face?" John laughed, breaking away from Dave to bounce up to Sollux. "You looked like you were about to piss yourself!"

Sollux pursed his lips.

"Haha. You're hilarious, John."

John smiled and, while Dave was heading over to set up his equipment, stood on tiptoes (although he didn't have to stretch as much as Dave did) and pressed a tiny kiss to the side of Sollux's mouth.

Pleasantly surprised, Sollux grinned as John lowered himself back down and nervously faced Dave, who had turn to watch them.

"Teaching him your poly-shit, then?" Sollux chuckled. Dave's lips quirked again.

"He's trying it by choice."

"I thought that, hey, since I'm trying out homosexuality, might as well try the whole 'polyamorous' thing, too," John said, shrugging. Sollux felt the urge to tell him that he had probably been either gay or bisexual the entire time, or maybe he was just Davesexual, but he didn't have the heart to put a damper on that big smile and those shining blue eyes.

"And how is that working out for you?" was all Sollux could ask as he put his hands in his pockets.

"It's nice," Dave commented, observing a mass entanglement of wires. "We both like kissing. It works out. I just promised to reserve all of the really intimate stuff with him, and it's been just _peachy_."

John snorted at Dave's last word and went to him to hug him from behind. Dave, however, turned around in his arms and gave him a big kiss on the cheek, and John nuzzled into his lips.

"Sounds nice."

They spent a majority of the day mixing up bullshit rhythms until they pulled a diamond out of the rough. A few rhymes were shot back and forth - mostly in between Dave and Sollux, though, because all John could do was make snarky comments about how lame Dave's lyrics were. In the end, John earned a slap to the thigh, Sollux nearly got a black eye from another prank that John played on him, and Dave… well, he wasn't too happy when one of his vinyl records was nearly broken in a scuffle over who had the best mix.

When all was done, Sollux left Dave's place at around eight. His mind was clear of unwanted stresses, instead being filled to the brim with music and rhymes and the inspiration to get on his laptop when he got home so he could look up some good music and jam out.

Leaving his equipment behind at Dave's place for another possible get-together, Sollux went back to his dorm building. It had begun to snow again, after about a week of nothing but lukewarm weather that melted the snow and soaked everything on earth. It was pleasant, and Sollux enjoyed taking slow steps to get back to his dorm. All snug and warm in his jacket, Sollux allowed the snowflakes to cling to his hair and his eyelashes and the growing facial hair on his chin. He felt his mood lifting and, by the time he got to his dorm (with a red nose and red cheeks from the cold), was smiling ever so slightly to himself.

That is, until he got to his dorm.

Because in it, sitting on the edge of his bed, was his uncle.


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright! Sorry for the delay on these past few chapters. I've got some stuff going on in my personal life that is making it a bit difficult to update very fast! Hopefully things will start speeding up a bit more once all of this personal crap stops.**

**Special thanks to _oathkeeper022_, _creepinlikeataco_, _ondeahy_, _grrkarkat_ (OHAC cosplayer), _stickypurplegoo_, and _invah_ for their lovely fanart pieces!**

**And very special thanks to _gunsandwwands_, who drew the official OHAC cover. You can see all of this wonderful fanart at sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/ohacfanart.**

**Before we begin, may I remind you of triggers in this piece. Read at your own risk. You have been warned.**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 15]<p>

The second he saw him, Sollux froze in the doorway, paralyzed like a deer in the headlights. Kenneth stared straight back at him, his dull eyes digging into Sollux's for the information he didn't have.

It wasn't until Kenneth stood from his place on the bed that Sollux's mind kicked into gear. He whirled around and began to run, but before he could even get his second foot on the ground, he was grabbed by the collar of his jacket and violently pulled back. Sollux let out a choked cry, his vision blurring for a moment as his adam's apple was crushed into his throat. This, of course, disabled him from crying for help. Before he could even hope for someone to swoop in and rescue him, he was dragged back into the room and the door slowly swung shut.

"I'm sorry," Sollux croaked, instantly dropping into the next line of defense. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. I'm _sorry!_"

His chants did nothing, and his uncle forcibly spun him around so hard that his neck practically gave way. Sollux let out a small whimper-scream. His knees buckled a little and he held out his hands in front of him to defend himself from the inevitable first hit.

And when the first strike landed itself on the side of his head, it rattled him to the core. The sound of his skull meeting an (thank God) open palm was sharp, but didn't crack or snap like it usually did.

It still hurt like a bitch.

Sollux fell to his knees and fought to push his uncle's hands off of him. He knew he would lose, but he couldn't stop himself from trying as hard as he could. He had been away from his uncle for so long that he had forgotten what it felt like to have to deal with him, and the old impassive side of him had also faded. He had new friends, people he actually cared about, people that made him vulnerable to emotion. That had brought his guard down, and now he was paying the price.

Making friends would be the death of him, Sollux decided.

Sollux was panting hard, hardly able to keep up. When his hand finally slipped and was unable to block his Kenneth's hand, another hit landed on his cheek. The sound of skin against skin made a loud snapping noise this time, and it startled Sollux into submission. He dropped into his final line of defense: becoming as small of a target as possible.

But when he stopped fighting back, the hitting stopped as well. He sat back on his heels and continued to cover his head with his arms, shaking so fiercely that he thought his bones would fall apart.

A pair of arms slid around Sollux's body and pulled him in close, pressing him into a broad chest that enveloped him in… the smell of someone freshly showered and clean?

"Why didn't you text me back or answer my calls?" Kenneth asked softly, kissing the spot on Sollux's cheek where he had slapped him. His hand ever-so-gently stroked Sollux's hair.

Sollux's adrenaline was still pumping from the beating he had received, but when he cooled down enough to know what the fuck was going on, he realized he was softly crying. Fat tears dripped onto Kenneth's dress pants-clad lap.

"I'm thorry, _okay?_" Sollux wept in a wavering, almost accusatory tone. He huddled against his uncle and clung to the flaps of his jacket out of instinct. He needed a parental unit to cling to, had needed one for years, and this was all God had decided to give him. So he clung, knowing that the person he was holding onto so desperately had hurt him, had raped him. He knew that he hated and despised this person so much that he could hardly see straight. He wanted them dead, he wanted to bash their skull in with anything he could grab hold of.

But he couldn't.

Because this was his parent, and the last person that even acknowledged the fact that they _were_ related by blood. That they were family. A car accident had claimed his father. A new life had claimed his mother.

And, just like Kenneth had said, his uncle was the very last Captor that would love him. It wasn't the right kind of love, it wasn't sanitary or moral or something Sollux could look forward to. It was sick and twisted and so fucked up that Sollux could barely breathe.

But it was love.

And Sollux loathed himself for being unable to escape that mindset.

They remained glued to each other on their knees on the floor, his uncle stroking his back and hair over and over, and Sollux huddling in tighter and tighter.

"Oh, honey, you've gained weight," Kenneth murmured, his hands sliding down Sollux's sides and arms. "And you look so healthy and handsome."

Sollux didn't say anything, but buried his face in his uncle's chest.

"Let me see your face."

Sollux resisted a little, but didn't want to receive another beating. So he pulled away from his uncle enough to show him his face, which was still puffy and red from crying. Kenneth reached up and carefully slipped his glasses off of his face, making everything in the room blurry except for Kenneth himself.

Setting the glasses aside, Kenneth faced Sollux once more and brought his hands up to touch his cheeks, feel his jaw, smooth down his eyebrows. His wrinkled eyes creased.

"You've filled out so nicely," Kenneth breathed. His caressing hands on Sollux's face slid down to his neck, and Sollux tensed in fear. However, his uncle didn't try to strangle him, and instead brought him forward for a kiss. Sollux didn't shut his eyes, and just remained still to allow his uncle to do what he liked. His lips moved listlessly, mostly because his uncle's grip on the back of his neck would tighten unless Sollux moved.

When a slick tongue ran across the length of Sollux's bottom lip, he let out a protesting whine and turned his head away ever so slightly.

"No," he mumbled weakly out of reflex, but his uncle only followed his retreat and licked his bottom lip again. Sollux hesitantly let his lips part, and then whimpered and tried to pull away when his uncle entered his mouth.

He tasted like cigarettes and mint toothpaste, and it was a horrible mixture. It robbed Sollux of the pleasant taste of his and Dave's goodbye makeout session, and the even sweeter taste of his and John's experimental goodbye kiss. Great. It took a lot of gentle coaxing to get John to kiss him.

"Sweetheart," Kenneth whispered once he pulled away and began trailing his kisses down Sollux's jaw and down his neck. His gnarled hand took Sollux's and dragged it to his crotch, when he pressed Sollux's palm to the bulge beginning to grow there. Sollux jerked his hand away, but Kenneth grabbed his wrist again and squeezed so tightly that Sollux's bones creaked in protest.

"H-How'd you get in?" Sollux asked quietly, trying to distract his uncle long enough so someone, _anyone_ could walk in and rescue him.

"Asked for a spare key up at the desk," Kenneth answered, pushing Sollux down onto the floor and caging him in with his arms and legs. Sollux just turned his head away, relieved that Karkat hadn't been confronted by his uncle and bullied into giving him the key. Karkat was safe, and that was all that mattered to him.

What followed after that, Sollux would rather forget. As with all greetings, his uncle demanded him to do something he didn't want to do, and this time it was more severe as punishment for no contact for so long. In the end, Sollux was left with a foul taste in his mouth and more nasty scratches underneath his hair from sharp nails digging into his scalp. In fact, a few tufts of his hair were lying on the floor next to the bed, where the bedsheets were unnaturally ruffled.

Luckily for him, Kenneth allowed him to brush his teeth and wash his face and change his clothes, because after their sinful act he had requested to go out to eat at one of the nearby restaurants. This, of course, made Sollux nervous, so when his uncle wasn't looking he snatched his cellphone off of the bedside table and shoved it into his pocket.

They took Kenneth's car, which was surprisingly clean and tidy for an incestuous slime's car. It was a simple little beige sedan (Sollux really fucking hated that color on a car), with about half the power of his truck. He was afraid that it would get caught in a snow drift quite a few times.

It was a silent trip for the most part, save for a couple questions from Kenneth. None of them were dirty. Rather, he asked how Sollux's classes were going, how he could stand rooming with Karkat who "was just so grumpy all the time". To this, Sollux actually responded with something dryly witty, and made his uncle laugh.

It was times like these that Sollux felt normal and, although not by much, at peace. Small talk with family: Kenneth knew him well enough that he wouldn't go too into detail about his personal life, so he didn't pry. He didn't coo and blabber about Sollux's teachers, and instead let his adoptive son say what he wanted to say.

So, even though Sollux hated to say it, the silences between them were comfortable.

His hate towards his uncle was a strange one. There was complete and utter platonic loathing there, yes. But the natural bonds of blood relations and family made all that hate return to the cooking pot in the back of his head when his uncle wasn't molesting him.

When they got to the restaurant, Kenneth herded Sollux inside with a hand placed on the small of his back. Paranoid, Sollux sped up so he wouldn't be touched and sat down on a waiting bench once they were inside. There, they talked a bit more, although Kenneth was a bit too close to Sollux for comfort.

"So? Have you met any new friends?" Kenneth asked once they were situated at a booth. Sollux, who was staring absently at the menu, shrugged.

"Yeah."

"Anyone you like?"

Surprised, Sollux looked up from the menu into his uncle's eyes. They were full of nothing but genuine curiosity. Sollux cleared his throat.

"Um… no. Not anyone in particular."

"I see."

There was another long silence.

"It's alright if you can't find anyone, my dear," Kenneth began slowly, resting his elbows on the table and giving Sollux a strange grin that made his blood turn to ice. "You will always, always have me."

Sollux looked down at his folded hands in his lap and didn't say a word.

"It's your personality, sweetheart. You're just a bit shy, so you push people away. But that's alright, because I still love you."

_Wrong_.

"…And because you push people away, you push away love, too. People don't want to love you if you're going to push them away."

Sollux hunched his shoulders as his heart began to sink. He lowered his head and stared at the table.

_You're wrong._

"People like us need to stick together, sweetheart. Because I will always, always be here for you. And I will always, _always_ be the one to understand you the most."

Kenneth reached across the table and upturned his palm for Sollux's hand.

"Okay, my darling?"

Sollux swallowed hard and nodded ever so slightly before unfolding his hands and bringing one up to rest on the table.

"I love you so much, Sollux," Kenneth said, covering Sollux's hand with his own. The possessiveness of the action made Sollux sick to his stomach.

"I love you too, Uncle," Sollux managed to croak in a feeble whisper. He was rapidly regressing back to the Sollux before college - weak and helpless. Blank. Absent.

Alone in a room with no one else but his uncle, who loomed before him and behind him and at his sides.

His voice rang in Sollux's head as if they were the voices of the sinister imaginary friends - no, _horrors_ - that had whispered to him when he was a little boy. The more he looked at his uncle, the more steps he took back into his head. Kenneth sapped all of his post-high school confidence, and no matter how much Sollux scrabbled and reached and fought and struggled for it, it just kept getting higher out of reach. It knocked the wind out of his lungs with its fast departure, leaving him breathless and dizzy.

"Honey," Kenneth murmured. "You're growing up too fast. Look at this beard."

Kenneth reach up to tickle the underside of Sollux's slightly hairy chin. Sollux stiffened and jerked back a little, glancing around to see if anyone saw. Part of him hoped someone would and call them out for sexual harassment or, God damnit, Sollux didn't care if someone called them out for being "a couple of faggots in need of spiritual redemption".

_Someone look at what he's doing to me._

_Anyone._

"I'll shave it," Sollux answered automatically, beginning to shiver. He tried to suppress the apparent terror on his face, but he knew that his uncle could see straight through it.

Kenneth smiled.

"No, no, my dear. How about you let me take care of it for you?"

Sollux's heart practically stopped, and the horrible flashbacks of the first time he had sprouted hair in his pubic region came bubbling back in a thick, foul sludge pot of memories. His face paled, and Sollux shook his head almost desperately, unable to shake Kenneth's fingers from the stubble on his chin.

"I can do it," Sollux promised, his voice cracking halfway through his pleas. "I thwear."

His uncle just smiled again with a small shake of his head.

The meal didn't last long enough. Trying to stall for time, Sollux picked at his food and ate painfully slow. Each bite had the taste and consistency of ashes, but he told himself to keep eating, keep eating. The longer it took him, the longer amount of time he had before his uncle dragged him away. He hoped and prayed and mentally screamed for someone to see what was going on. He put on his most fretful face, but the restaurant was rather dark. No one could see him in the lack of light, but it didn't matter.

They wouldn't be able to identify him.

After a while, Kenneth caught on and got to his feet. Sollux managed to squeeze in a few more attempts to negotiate, but his uncle dragged him out of the seat and pulled him close.

_If you make a scene, I will bend you over my knee and whip you with the belt. _

So, hardly able to suppress his small whimpers of fear, Sollux was herded out of the restaurant and to Kenneth's car. They drove off into the night, towards the nearest hotel.

His made one last attempt to plead, but it was, again, to no avail.

Once they were at the hotel, Sollux was barely able to hold himself together in the lobby. By the time they got off the elevator onto their empty floor, Sollux was trying to shove his uncle off, trying to claw at his arm, thrashing against his hold. But he was pulled into their room, and the door was slammed shut behind him.

Sollux's clothes ended up in a pile on the floor in the entrance hallway. At one point, he managed to get away, but he only got as far as running around to the other side of the bed before his uncle hit him in the back and he went sprawling. His arm was painfully pinned behind his back in order to get him to stop moving around. His mouth was stuffed to the brim with his uncle's shirt, muffling all of his cries and suffocating him.

The whole time, Sollux kept his wide eyes on the door, praying for someone to kick it open. But the door didn't budge.

Karkat didn't come flying in through the window.

Rose didn't kick the door down.

Kanaya didn't saw the door open with a chainsaw.

No Dave. No John. No Jade. No Nepeta. No Aradia. No Feferi.

No Eridan.

And Sollux didn't hear a single vibrating sound coming from his pants all the way across the room. Not one single call or text.

There was not a single knock, scratch, or bang.

Because this was real life.

And Sollux's life wasn't a fucking fairytale.


	16. Chapter 16

**Severe trigger warning.**

**EDIT:: A bunch of spelling errors were found in this one. The majority, if not all of them, have been fixed. Thanks for pointing them out!**

[Chapter 16]

Sollux woke up the next morning feeling like he had been hit by a freight train. He tried to sit up, but upon attempting to, he found himself hardly able to move at all. He quickly realized his arms were shackled behind his back with his uncle's belt.

Adjusting his very sore legs, Sollux forced himself to push up into a kneeling position in the center of the bed. He sat back on his heels and slowly looked around, discovering that the room was empty. Slowly, the images of the night before slowly came crawling back.

The night before.

Sollux looked down at himself to find the front of his body absolutely covered in ugly, swollen welts. Several of them had split open and had become painful, pulsing scabs. He remembered the sharp, cutting pain of how the scabs had come to be. The clack, clack of the belt buckle.

The cruel snap of leather against bare, tender skin.

The cuff-shaped bruises on his ankles confirmed that he had, in fact, been strapped to the armchair sitting in the corner of the room next to the fireplace. He assumed he had also been bound by the wrists, but his arms were too sore to even try to struggle out of his bindings. And after he had been strapped down, he… he…

Bile rose in his throat as he looked down at himself.

He was absolutely covered in deep purple bruises, some of them the size of golf balls and others the size of grapefruits. The majority of them were around his hips and on his upper arms. There was a frightening set of puncture wounds on his inner thigh that looked suspiciously like a bite mark. And his groin…

Sollux choked out a dry sob and curled in on himself. The worst memory of the night before was the shaving. His uncle had been gentle and precise while shaving his nephew's chin and cheeks, but when he got to Sollux's pubic area, everything had plummeted downhill.

Sollux's head snapped up as he heard the locks in the door shift. A second later, Kenneth strode in and Sollux scrambled back on the bed. The panic in his eyes was unabashed.

Kenneth silently beckoned Sollux towards him. Sollux hesitated a bit before cautiously unfolding his legs from underneath him. He scooched himself to the edge of the bed and slipped off of it. Kenneth stepped forward and took Sollux into his arms. His hand slipped down Sollux's waist and to his hips, where his fingers curled around to cup one of the globes of Sollux's bottom. A moment of silence passed before Kenneth moved again. There was a clanking sound, a jostling behind Sollux's back, and the belt binding Sollux's wrists were loosened and pulled away.

It was so sudden that Sollux was surprised with himself, but without warning his fists were flying. They aimed for the face, the nose, anything he could get to.

However, his arms were terribly stretched and sore, and his punches faltered before he could even land a hit. Before long, his wrists were caught in his uncle's iron grasp, rendering him completely immobile.

He was shouting profanities and words of absolute loathing at Kenneth, his voice still hoarse and scratchy from the night before. He barely registered the blow to his head he received for it. With a final shout and a flex of his arms, he tore his wrists away from his uncle's hold and stumbled backwards. He tried to duck underneath Kenneth's arm to escape, but he was upon him so fast that his head spun. He caught up both of Sollux's wrists in one hand.

And then he backhanded him with his free hand. Hard.

Sollux wilted, practically hanging by his wrists. Kenneth forced him back up and held him by the shoulders, but Sollux just stared blankly into his chest.

He was so ashamed. There he was, naked before his uncle with black and blue bruises painting his pale skin. The welts had become even redder and more puffy.

And below, his manhood hung completely flaccid. Where there had once been pubic hair, there was nothing but scarlet, razor-burned, slashed skin. The voice of his uncle demanding him to 'get it up, get it up!' while he carelessly shaved his nephew's groin echoed in Sollux's skull like some sort of sick ping pong ball. The night before, Sollux had learned the hard way that such a sensitive region should never be shaved without some sort of lubrication like cream or soap. Even _water_ would've helped.

And he hadn't been able to get it up, either. Not once. Not even a little. And so, the razor had gotten bits of skin caught in it and had just… _nicked it off_. Not enough to make him bleed profusely - but enough to make him jerk and whimper and writhe in pain and worsen the wound even more. No matter how hard Sollux had tried to beg through the shirt in his mouth, his uncle had just brushed off the sharp utensil and reached up to shave another strip of hair. And he had done it over and over and _over_.

An hour later, when everything was done, his uncle had told him that he 'looked like a little boy again'.

Sollux's eyes glazed over as he continued to blank out. He hardly noticed it when Kenneth released him and walked away, then came back with a robe draped over his arm. Kenneth quietly threw the robe around Sollux's shoulders and covered his body with it. He ushered him out of the room and into the bathroom, where he left Sollux alone in the middle of the tile floor. The door closed softly behind his retreat.

It took Sollux a while before he came to his senses, allowed the robe to slip off of his shoulders, and stepped in the shower. He washed the sin off and out of him and applied lotions and creams and anything he could find in the small bathroom to soothe the intense burning pain in his groin.

When he came out of the bathroom again, he found his pickup truck's car keys, his phone, and his freshly cleaned clothes sitting in a nice pile on the bed. A folded piece of paper was leaned up against it. Sollux picked up the paper and opened it.

A fifty dollar bill fluttered out and onto the quilt.

Sollux stared at it, dumbfounded, before reading the note.

_Sollux - _

_ I've already checked out and I'm heading back towards the airport. While I was gone this morning, I went ahead and took a bus to your campus so I could drive your truck back here. Please be careful about leaving your keys in your car! You wouldn't want anyone stealing it! It was so nice seeing you again, sweetheart. Keep up the amazing work in school!_

_I love you very much, honey._

_-Me._

Sollux crumpled up the paper and tossed it into the wastebasket, refusing to give it another passing glance.

Ha.

It was almost as if they were lovers.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sollux let out a relieved sigh. After a moment, though, his face contorted and his eyes flooded.

He sat there and cried for the next half hour.

* * *

><p>Sollux pulled into a local drug store as he blew a puff of cigarette smoke out the window. He carelessly pulled into a handicapped parking space.<p>

What he was about to do wouldn't take long.

He instantly went to the back of the store and just grabbed the first bottle of substance he could get his hands on.

When he got to the counter, the cashier laughed playfully at him when he put the bottle down.

"Sleeping pills? Why would a young boy like you need sleeping pills?"

* * *

><p>Shoving the door shut behind him, Sollux stomped into his dorm room.<p>

Karkat still wasn't there, which somewhat angered him.

Oh well.

Oh fucking well.

Sollux went to the bathroom and closed the door. He locked the door, then turned towards the mirror.

Who was that in the reflection? He was furious and sad and humiliated and agonized.

Someone had once told him that he was only human. He was a person with feelings, and a right to feel abused and sorry for himself.

But the reflection in the mirror wasn't human.

Sollux fumbled with the bottle of pills, his heart practically drilling straight out of his chest. The reflection was sweating profusely, thin locks of mahogany hair plastered to his forehead. It took a while to figure out the childproof mechanism of the bottle, but once he had it open, he threw the cap away from him as hard as he could.

The bottle was full to the brim with little pills. Slowly, shakily, Sollux lifted the bottle to his lips. He breathed hard and tipped the bottle upwards. The second the pills hit his lips, however, he choked on his own breath and tensed up as if he was going to vomit. A couple of the pills fell out of the top of the bottle and clattered into the sink.

He was shaking so hard that the pills in the bottle were rattling loudly and about ready to bounce right out of the bottle.

_You fucking coward._

Sollux raised the bottle to his lips again and slowly began to tip it again.

_You're a fucking coward._

The pills rolled against his lips.

_Fucking do it._

The hand clutching the sink released it so Sollux could hold the bottle up with both hands.

_You don't have anything to live for anymore anyway._

The pills tumbled into his mouth.

_You are worthless._

Without warning, Sollux's phone vibrated in his pocket. It startled him so much that he gagged and fell forward. The pills came spewing out of his mouth and into the sink. The reddish drugs were slimy and slightly melted with saliva, and it stained the sink red. Sollux continued to spit until the taste was completely out of his mouth.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Sollux cursed with a hiss, frantically rinsing his mouth out. He scooped the remains of the pills out of the sink and dropped them into the toilet, and the rest of the pills that remained in the bottle followed closely after. Sollux flushed the toilet and wrapped the empty bottle in toilet paper before bitterly hurling it into the wastebasket. "…Shit."

Sollux panted, running his hand through his hair over and over and over until the entire mop on his head was brushed backwards.

Shit.

He needed a haircut.

Sollux cough-laughed, then snorted, then broke down into a fit of giggles, holding his forehead in his hand.

Shit, man.

Who the hell had broken him out of his almost-suicide attempt?

Sollux dug his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

_SOL YOU ARE AN AWWFUL FLIRTER!_

Sollux's lips twitched.

_whoa waiit what_

_HOWW CAN YOU EVVEN MAKE OUT WWITH SOMEONE THEN JUST LEAVVE THEM HANGIN FOR COD KNOWWS HOWW LONG_

_GOD**_

_you mean two week2_

_THATS A REALLY LONG TIME SOL_

_alriight chrii2t. calm your tiit2._

_im in a really fuckin bad mood ok an you bein a huge asshole by completely ignorin me has been really gettin on my nerves_

_2orry?_

_you fuckin better be sorry or me and this delicious choice ass are goin to just wwalk right on outta your dumb life_

…_wtf you're fuckiing wiith me aren't you_

_hahahaha stupid_

_wow. you're a dick_

_i wwas really only makin up part of it so just calm dowwn ok_

_anywway wwhat are you up to_

Sollux grimaced down at the stained-red mess in the sink and the melted sleeping pills that coated the side of his hand.

_nothiing much_

_then wwhy the hell havvent you evven vvisited man_

_ii wa2nt aware that ii wa2 2uppo2ed to vii2iit_

_thats not howw you court sol_

_ii wa2n't aware that ii wa2 tryiing to court you, eiither. 2hould ii be? B)_

_pft shut up youvve got about as much of a chance wwith me as you havve a chance wwith a rock_

Sollux snorted and burst into loud laughter, throwing his head back at the ceiling. It felt good to push those huge puffs of air out from deep within his lungs, and to clear himself of all those suicidal thoughts.

_man._

_wwhat _

_when do you want me to come over_

_huh_

_ii'm gettiing my a22 over there_

_oh i see_

_yeah._

_is your ass choice too_

_ehehehe 2hut up!_

Sollux snapped his phone shut before he could get a reply and shoved it in his pocket. He cleaned the sink out as best as he could before exiting the bathroom to put on some fresh clothes. As it turned out, his regular jeans were too tight on him, at least for his current situation. So he found something much looser around the hips. He pulled on a pair of boxers that were soft and didn't rub too much against the red-hot, stinging skin of his groin. he slipped into a pair of old sweatpants next- the gray senior sweatpants that had been too big for him the year before. Now they were a perfect fit. Sollux also pulled on a turtleneck. However, the material was too itchy and rubbed up against his welts, making him cringe.

So he took that off and dug deep down into his dresser to find his black long-sleeved _Under Armour_ top with the high collar that hid all over the scratches, bruises, and welts on his skin. The material was much smoother, and the shirt was tight enough that it didn't move around and rub up against his skin as much as a regular sweater.

When he was finished getting dressed, he quickly brushed his teeth and ran a comb through his hair. He yanked on his jacket and shoved his feet into his shoes, and he was so excited to leave that he completely forgot about texting Karkat.

Twenty minutes later, he was knocking on Eridan's fancy door. However, there was no answer.

"Come on," Sollux muttered under his breath, knocking a bit harder. He stood there pounding on the door for a solid five minutes until it suddenly flew open to reveal Eridan stand there.

Practically naked.

And dripping wet.

Save for the towel wrapped loosely around his waist, Eridan didn't have any clothes on. And when Eridan realized who it was, his eyes bugged out and his grip tightened on his towel. His purple bangs flopped down onto his face, resting right between his eyes (in a timely manner, of course).

"Hey," Sollux finally said, the edges of his lips pulling up ever so slightly. Eridan seemed to come to his senses, and his eyes slowly trailed down Sollux's body to his sweatpants, then back up to stare at his torso.

Sollux didn't really notice, though, because he was busy checking out Eridan himself. His eyes immediately went to Eridan's hips, where there was a birthmark accenting his pale skin right beside his happy trail.

_Hothothothothothothot._

"Hot birthmark," Sollux finally said, looking up with what he thought was a suggestive smile. Due to his excitement of finding said birthmark, however, his smile was pretty damn goofy.

Eridan scowled and slapped his free hand over the mark.

"Shut your mouth and get in here, or I won't let you in later."

Eridan spun on his heels and marched inside, leaving the door open for Sollux. Sollux managed to slip in before the door swung back shut, his eyes watching Eridan's back as he moved. And by back, he meant fine ass.

And by watching, he meant _ogling_.

"Showering, huh?" Sollux asked, shedding his shoes and jacket.

"Yeah. I was in the middle of dryin' off. Gimmie a second. If you wanna eat somethin', the fridge is available for you."

Eridan went down the hall, but just as Sollux turned to go to the refrigerator, he heard Eridan's voice again.

"But don't touch my chocolates!"

Sollux cocked an eyebrow and looked around the countertops and cupboards for Eridan's super fucking special forbidden chocolate. When he didn't find anything, he shrugged and went back to the fridge.

Sitting on the top shelf was a rectangular box of fancy assorted chocolates. Sollux instantly snatched it up and slapped it onto the counter before tearing the lid off of it and throwing the protective paper on top of it aside.

Jesus Christ.

It was so fancy that Sollux didn't even think it was legal.

So fancy that someone could probably propose to someone with a piece.

So fancy that Sollux Captor's entire body shuddered with the awesomeness that he was about to unleash on that poor chocolate box.

_Sweet._

_Catch._

Without a second thought, Sollux grabbed three of the best looking chocolates and shoved each one into his mouth.

Oh.

Liqueur.

_Fuck yes._

"_Sol!"_

Sollux looked up, still in the process of shoving the last piece into his mouth. Eridan was standing in the hallway facing the kitchenette, freshly dressed with semi-dry hair. Well, if looks could kill, Sollux would be six under in the next few seconds for sure.

So he ran, chewing frantically on the chewy alcoholic chocolate. Eridan pounded after him, making Sollux break into a peal of laughter as adrenaline shot through his veins at a breakneck pace. A surprisingly strong hand grabbed him by the elbow and wrenched him around. Sollux hissed in pain - not because of Eridan, but because of the already sore muscles in his arm.

"I told you not to touch those, you fuckin' douche!" Eridan barked, shoving Sollux's shoulder a bit. "_Cod!_"

Sollux raised his hands in surrender.

"Hey, you brought it on yourself. Had you not said anything, I probably wouldn't have found them in the first place."

Glowering, Eridan crossed his arms and chewed the inside of his cheek. Finally, he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Those are _very_ expensive Scottish chocolates, thank you very much."

"It's just chocolate."

Sollux watched as Eridan went to the counter and very carefully slid the protective paper on top of the chocolate and put the lid back on.

"There are flakes of real gold in it."

Sollux nearly choked right there.

"What the _hell?_"

"Those chocolates are meant to be savored and very _carefully_ eaten! _One at a time!_" Eridan exclaimed, putting the box back in the refrigerator.

"Well then. I apologize for being under the assumption that chocolate is meant to be _enjoyed_."

"Hmph."

Eridan went back to Sollux and they stood in front of each other, simply staring. Sollux's eyes wandered over Eridan's features; his slightly dimpled chin, his perfect collarbone, and the simple purple wide-neck t-shirt that showed off just a bit of the top of his chest. He, like Sollux, was wearing sweatpants.

Except they were a deep, ocean blue color.

And printed on it was a plethora of royal purple fish and magenta squids. Each animal had big eyes and a cute anime-esque smile.

"You and your hipster clothes," Sollux sighed, rolling his eyes.

"What?"

"What the hell are you even wearing, dude?"

"Whatever the hell I _want_."

They spent a few more minutes staring at each other before Sollux began to feel a slight tugging sensation in the pit of his stomach. Both sets of eyes of blue-gray and heterochromatic blue and brown kept flicking back and forth between each other and pink, slightly parted lips. Sollux, not too particularly aware of any of his surroundings except for the exceptionally attractive man standing before him, moved to brush Eridan's hair back behind his ears. Perhaps Eridan wanted to kiss him after all.

Sollux was about to move in when Eridan finally spoke up.

"Dude, you've got toothpaste all over the side of your mouth."


	17. Chapter 17

**Alright! Sorry for the delay!**

**I'd actually like to make an announcement.**

**On Friday, January 13, the woman that I love asked me to be her girlfriend. We've been dating for a little under a week, but I've loved her for much longer than that. After I told her my feelings, she also realized her love for me and a couple days later we began dating. So, as you can probably imagine, I've been quite busy! :3 For all you tumblr folks, you can follow my girlfriend (who also drew the cover art for OHAC) at gunsandwwands(dot)tumblr(dot)com. **

**Thank you to _ondeahy_, _creepinlikeataco_, _ishikiaru_, _not0today_, _bitchtitsandmoonmist_, and _obeymywwand_ for contributing fanart to OHAC! :3**

**Enjoy!**

[Chapter 17]

After a few minutes of heated arguing, Sollux and Eridan finally shifted their attention away from each other and onto more important things.

Such as Eridan's dolls.

They were lying on his coffee table, and had been separated into a pile of beige and indigo and another pile of purple and pink. They had been delicately placed on a couple of paper towels.

"Planning on getting these fixed today?" Sollux asked. Eridan let out a little nervous laugh.

"Actually, that's why I asked you to come over. I… I was goin' to ask Kan in class a couple days ago, but she was talkin' to some other girl who came in durin' break to give her a plate of cookies or somethin'… an' I got nervous…"

"You haven't asked her yet?"

"No…"

"Damn it Eridan, do you honestly need me to do all the work?"

"No!" Eridan snapped. "Kan's really fuckin' scary, you know! Every time she looks at me, she makes me feel like she's goin' to saw me in half or somethin'!"

"Ugh. You're so dumb. Alright, fine. I'll text Kanaya real quick."

Sollux pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

_hey kn you know that flamer ii wa2 talkiing about a few week2 ago_

_Do You Mean Eridan By Any Chance? In Which Case I Am Quite Aware Of This 'Flamer' Of Which You Speak So Harshly Yet So Fondly_

_ye2 ii mean eriidan. ii wa2 wonderiing iif you could come help u2 wiith 2omethiing_

…_As Much As I Get Irritated With Ampora, I Suppose It Would Be Kind Of Me To Comply To My Dear Friend's Wish. I Will Venture There For You But Not For The Ape With The Big 'Desu-Desu' Eyes And The Overly Greased Purple Tresses_

_Or Tress In This Case, As Ampora's Strange Hairstyle Utilizes None But One Lock Of Luscious Hair For The Sprout Of Violet Upon His Head_

_Someone Must Alert The Infamous Fashion Police Of His Nonsensical Purpleness_

_And That Would Be Me As I Am Quite The Fashionista As Rose Calls It_

_kn ii ju2t had to delete all the me22age2 iin my iinbox to make 2pace for your riighteou2 rambliing text2_

_you really outdiid your2elf thii2 tiime. have ii ever mentiioned how utterly perfect you are. ii'm almo2t 2traiight for you ii 2wear_

_I Try._

_anyway yeah do you know where eriidan'2 dorm ii2?_

_No I Am Not Quite Sure As To Where His Dormitory Is Located_

_iit'2 the biig fancy buiildiing. four down from me and kk'2._

_Oh Wow That One?_

_I Suppose Mister Ampora Wasn't Fibbing When He Said That He Was A Rich Fancy Pants. And To What Room Am I Going?_

_top floor. room 413_

_Alright I Will Be There Shortly_

_briing your 2ewiing gear_

_Yes Sir_

Sollux snapped his phone shut again and turned to Eridan with a shrug.

"See? Easy as that."

"Easy for you to say. You're _friends_ with her," Eridan drawled, flipping his hand dismissively and going to the couch, where he flopped down and lied down against the armrest. Sollux followed, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. He took it slow, afraid that the tight feeling of the skin of his back was because the welts and marks were drying up and wrinkling.

When he looked over at Eridan, Eridan was watching him.

"What is it?"

"Nothin'," Eridan replied, looking away again. "Just thinkin'."

"About?"

"Nothin', really."

"Oh."

Sollux rested his elbow on the armrest and yawned. He shut his eyes for a moment and half-dozed, half-pondered there, only half aware of what was going on around him. He felt Eridan get up at some point, and heard some rummaging around elsewhere in the room, but he didn't think much of it.

…Until something cold hit the back of his neck. Sollux jumped and jerked awake, frantically reaching behind him to touch whatever was on him. He brought it around to reveal a gallon bag with ice in it, wrapped nicely in a dish cloth.

"What's this?" Sollux asked, confused. Eridan came around to the front of the couch again and sat beside Sollux.

"You're obviously in pain," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Did you think I wasn't goin' to notice?"

"…Yeah, actually."

"Well, I noticed. An' I don't know what else to get you besides that. What's wrong with your back?"

Sollux frowned and rolled the ice bag around and around in his hands.

"It's nothing."

"If it's nothin' you wouldn't have sat down like your back was about to rip in half."

"Eridan, it's _nothing_."

"I'm seriously concerned here!"

Sollux's face contorted.

"I told you, I'm _fine!_"

Well, that had come out louder than Sollux had expected. Eridan stared at him with part shock, part annoyance, before his furrowed brows relaxed.

"Let me see."

"See what?"

"Your back."

"No."

"Sol."

Sollux and Eridan had a brief stare down before Sollux wilted and looked away, gritting his teeth.

"I'm not here to judge," Eridan coaxed, his voice suddenly turning uncharacteristically soft and gentle. "You didn't judge me when you found out that I'm gay."

Sollux gnawed the inside of his cheek before finally grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling up, pulling the cloth up and over his head but leaving it on his arms.

The gasp he received in response made his stomach churn, and he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to block it out.

"Who did this to you?" Eridan asked incredulously. Sollux flinched away when he felt Eridan's hand gently brush a bruise.

"Don't fucking _touch_ me!" Sollux snapped on reflex, jerking out of Eridan's touch.

"Just calm down," was Eridan's retort, and his hands were on Sollux's back once more. There was a strong confidence behind each and every stroke of his fingertips that somehow relaxed Sollux. The wandering hands went up and over his shoulder blades and to his neck, where Eridan brushed aside his hair and continued to touch him.

Sollux hissed.

The hands left him immediately.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No."

The hands returned, albeit a bit more cautious that time, continuing to trace over each individual mark and bruise. Eridan then hooked his fingers on Sollux's upper arm (careful to keep away from any marks) and tugged on him a little to get him to turn around.

"Is your chest like this, too?"

Shit.

Sollux was in no condition to turn around just yet. But he complied to Eridan's light pulling. He felt heat rising in his cheeks as Eridan slipped his shirt off of his arms and let it slide to the floor. Eridan just gazed at his torso for a moment, but not with lust. Rather, concern was in his eyes.

Sollux felt like a fucking idiot. Here he was, two touches away from getting a hard-on in sweatpants of all things, and Eridan was treating the situation seriously. _Eridan_.

Eridan's hands were on him again, unconsciously brushing over some of the most sensitive places that made Sollux's abdomen seize up and clench.

"You should lift weights," Eridan teased very lightly, fingers tracing over the not-very-visible abs that Sollux was sporting. Sollux didn't answer, and instead he set his jaw and closed his eyes to concentrate solely on not getting a boner.

Afraid that thinking about Kenneth to cool himself off would just make him puke, he thought about his mom naked. Then Karkat's mom naked. Then his grandma naked.

_Shiiit_.

Well, that helped.

When he opened his eyes again, Eridan had leaned a bit closer, his hair close enough for Sollux's nose to get tickled by it. Sollux's cheeks flared up again, and when Eridan's hand brushed over a particularly sensitive spot next to his hip, he let out a sigh and let his head loll ever so slightly.

"Sol…?"

"Eridan, stop," Sollux said, his voice surprisingly calm. He gathered up Eridan's wrists in one hand and pushed them away. He was leaning on the armrest now, having had unconsciously moved away from Eridan's wandering hands until he had been trapped up against the end of the couch. One leg had ended up sprawled on the couch while the other remained firmly planted on the floor. His toes were curled, his chest and face flushed, his eyes slightly glazed, and…

Oh fuck. _Now_ he had a boner.

Eridan's eyes followed Sollux's, and he went rigid when he looked down at the tent rising in Sollux's sweatpants.

"God fucking damnit," Sollux cursed, releasing Eridan's wrists and turning away from him.

"Oh. Uh…" Eridan began. "Should… Should I be offended or flattered?"

"Shut your fucking trap," Sollux snarled. "I'm not fucking laughing right now."

Silence.

"Come on. I know what to do to help with that," Eridan suddenly said. Sollux barely had time to react or protest before Eridan jumped up from the couch and grabbed Sollux's wrist.

"Whoa!" Sollux yelped as Eridan dragged him out of the living room and down the connecting hall to the bathroom. "Dude, Eridan, what are you going to-"

Eridan pulled Sollux straight into the bathroom and kicked the door shut behind him. In a blur of movement, Eridan spun Sollux around and slammed him into the door, making him cry out with the pain of having his bruises hit again.

Eridan pinned him there by the elbows and grinned up at him with a look that wasn't too different from a shark's, making Sollux's breath catch in his throat. Eridan pressed up flush against him, and Sollux's eyelids fluttered.

"I'll tell you again," Eridan hissed in a slow, drawn-out voice. "Just because I _want_ you doesn't mean I don't have any _self respect_ for myself."

"What are you even talking about?" Sollux snarled back, baring his teeth. Eridan jostled him against the door a little, shaking him.

"I'm not your little _bitch_. I'm not goin' to have sex with you just because you're feelin' a little horny."

"I never said _anything_ about wanting sex!"

"Then what's _that?_"

"Dude, you were touching me and I got a boner, alright? Jesus Christ, is it so bad for a _man_ to get a boner when someone _hotter than hell_ is touching him?"

Eridan released Sollux with a flourish and stepped back to watch him adjust himself.

"Well, the boner's gone," Sollux said wryly out of the corner of his mouth. He glared daggers at Eridan, who just gave him a smug smile.

"Good."

With that, Eridan turned from him and went to the bathroom cupboard, where he rummaged around for something.

"What makes you think I was going to try and get you to have sex with me?"

Eridan was silent for a while, allowing the water to run over his fingers.

"Dunno."

"It's kinda dumb to just assume something from someone, don't you think?"

"Look," Eridan sighed, looking over his shoulder. "It's just somethin' that I'm just a bit cautious about, alright? It's got nothin' against you. Wakin' up next to you and findin' out that I nearly got hit by your truck that night I got drunk kinda opened my eyes. It doesn't hurt to be defensive."

"It does when you just throw people up against a _door_."

"It's for Fef. I was stupid to go out and get drunk that night and it was stupid to bring you home."

"Ouch."

"It's not anythin' personal. I've just been thinkin' these past few weeks that we haven't seen each other, an' I came to the conclusion that, yes, you were right. I shouldn't think so lowly of myself."

"Well. Good for you," Sollux said somewhat wryly, although there was a hint of sincerity in his voice. Eridan smiled a little in understanding.

"Besides, had it been intended for us to meet, then we would've. Not in those circumstances, though. And probably not at such a bad time. But we would've met, I'm sure of it."

Eridan found what he was looking for and withdrew from the cabinet holding a big bottle of what appeared to be blue gel.

"Believe in destiny?" Sollux asked teasingly, letting Eridan pull him to the sink and turn him around. He felt Eridan's cool hand on his back pushing him down until he was leaning over the sink with his hands bracing him on either side.

"No," Eridan said from behind him. Sollux heard a horrendous squirting sound as something was squirted out of the bottle. He began to get suspicious, but it was too late. Eridan spoke just before impact. "I believe in _chemistry_."

Sollux let out a (_very manly_) shriek as Eridan's hand slapped something extremely cold and slimy onto his back. He arched his back a bit, nails digging into the porcelain sink as if it was his final lifeline.

"What the _hell?_" he asked wildly, looking up into the mirror over the sink and glaring behind him at Eridan. "Why didn't you _warn me?"_

"Ha. You fuckin' screamed like a _girl_."

"_Eridan!_"

"Settle down. It's just Aloe Vera. For burns and stuff."

"…And?"

"It'll help these welts back here. There isn't much you can do about welts, but hopefully this stuff will ease the sting a bit."

Sollux squinted a little bit as his back tingled in response to the cold hands against his skin and the cold gel soaking into his sores. His eyes inched shut with each rub, and before long he was letting out a low, pleasured sound from deep in his throat.

"Will you be able to get your chest by yourself?"

"Wanna rub it on me?"

"Wanna get castrated?"

"Ruuude."

"That's my word!"

"You can't _claim_ words."

"I do what I want."

Once the Aloe Vera was thoroughly rubbed into Sollux's back, Eridan handed him the bottle and left the bathroom to give Sollux privacy. Sollux wouldn't have minded if he and his snarky comments had stayed in the bathroom with him. So he went quickly with the spreading of the Aloe Vera, in hopes of spending a bit more time alone with Eridan before Kanaya showed-

Sollux looked up at the mirror and stared at himself in shock, his hands freezing in place over his stomach. As the reality of the words he had just thought to himself began to sink in, he sped up even more until the gel had soaked completely into his skin. Then, his hand plunged into the little pocket of his sweatpants and pulled out his phone.

_kk where the fuck are you_

It was a long time before Karkat answered, so Sollux put his phone back in his pocket and exited the bathroom. When he got back to the living room, Eridan was waiting with his shirt in hand. He tossed the shirt to Sollux, which he caught easily. Halfway through putting it back on, Sollux felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

The scramble to pull his shirt on and get his phone out made Eridan laugh and tease him, but Sollux wasn't paying him much attention.

_I'VE BEEN OUT._

_have you even been home yet since ye2terday_

_NO_

_why the fuck not_

_EXCUSE ME, ASSHOLE. YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER SO YOU CAN JUST FUCK RIGHT ON OFF. I'VE BEEN OUT AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS_

_you're beiing 2ecretiive kk 2eriiou2ly where have you been?_

_HOLY SHIT WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. OF ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE EVER BEEN NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, THIS IS THE MOST OF 'IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN FUCKING BUSINESS' OKAY. _

_why are you gettiing 2o defen2iive_

_BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES YOU ASSHAT._

_kk!_

_SOLLUX. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU SO QUIT ASKING_

_kk iit ha2 everythiing to do wiith me becau2e ii've needed to talk to you 2iince thii2 morniing_

_OKAY. SHOOT._

_my uncle came up la2t niight_

It was a while before Karkat responded.

…_SERIOUSLY?_

_yeah._

_ARE YOU OKAY DUDE? DO YOU NEED ME TO CALL YOU?_

_no ii ju2t need to 2ee you that'2 really all there ii2 to 2ay_

_I'LL BE HOME LATER TONIGHT OKAY_

_SOLLUX PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID_

_defiine 2tupiid_

_YOU FUCKING KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT, DON'T GIVE ME THIS OBLIVIOUS BULLSHIT. I'M TALKING FULL OUT WHAT YOU TRIED IN JUNIOR YEAR_

_you 2topped me that tiime_

_I KNOW BUT, YOU KNOW SOLLUX? THAT SHIT IS TRAUMATIZING. NOT FOR YOU, BUT FOR ME. I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR WEEKS. DON'T PUT ME THROUGH THAT SHIT EVER AGAIN._

_iit'2 okay eriidan texted me ju2t iin tiime_

_WHOA WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T EVEN- WHO THE FUCK IS ERIDAN? TEXTED YOU JUST IN TIME FOR WHAT?_

_you don't have to be concerned_

_DON'T PULL THAT REACHAROUND SHIT WITH ME. I SEE WHAT THIS IS. YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET ANSWERS OUT OF ME_

_waiit no that'2 not iit at all wtf_

_WOW. YOU ARE THE SHITTIEST PERSON ON THIS FUCKING PLANET. YOU REALLY HAD ME GOING THERE. STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING ATTENTION WHORE SOLLUX. _

_dude_

_YEAH WE GET IT BOOHOO YOU WERE ABUSED. WELL YOU'RE A BIG BOY NOW SOLLUX SO GROW THE HELL UP. YOU'RE A WHOLE GOD DAMN COUNTRY AWAY FROM HIM NOW SO YOU CAN STOP THE ACT ANY TIME_

_kk ii 2wear to god he diid come up la2t niight and he left thii2 morniing ii'm not tryiing to get attentiion ok he fuckiing took me to a hotel la2t niight _

_WELL FUCK. WHY DON'T YOU PROVE THAT TO ME WHEN I GET HOME TONIGHT, LIKE I JUST FUCKING SAID. HELL, BRING YOUR UNCLE OVER AND LET ME BEAT THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM MYSELF TO PROVE TO YOU THAT YOU CAN GET OVER THIS SHIT. HAS THE THOUGHT EVER GONE THROUGH YOUR TINY HEAD EVEN ONCE THAT MAYBE, JUST FUCKING MAYBE, YOU ARE YOUNGER AND MORE FIT THAN YOUR OLD AS SHIT UNCLE AND YOU COULD OVERPOWER HIM AT ANY TIME_

_OR, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, REPORT HIM?_

_iit doe2n't work liike that kk he 2care2 the 2hiit out of me and he'2 way fuckiing 2tronger than me you don't even under2tand kk. iif ii tell anyone he'2 goiing to fuckiing kiill me_

_SOLLUX. IF HE 'LEFT THIS MORNING' YOU COULD CALL THE FUCKING POLICE AND HAVE THEM ALREADY WAITING AT THE GOD DAMN AIRPORT IN ARIZONA. HE WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO GET HIS HANDS ON YOU BEFORE THEY LOCK HIM RIGHT THE FUCK UP_

_DO YOU NEED ME TO HOLD YOUR HAND FOR YOU ON THIS ONE SOLLUX_

_OR CAN YOU GROW THE HELL UP_

_fuck you kk. FUCK YOU._

_HEY GUESS WHAT, FUCK YOU TOO. YOU OVER DRAMATIZE EVERYTHING AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. YOU KNOW, NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD'VE HAD THEIR UNCLE LOCKED UP OR AT LEAST REPORTED BY NOW. I'M BEGINNING TO THINK YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HATE WHAT HE DOES TO YOU AT ALL._

_YOU KNOW WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE, SOLLUX?_

_IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE IN DENIAL ABOUT IT AND, IN REALITY, YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT._

Sollux threw his phone away from him as if it was a grenade, and it clattered to the floor and hit the wall.

"Whoa, what the hell?" Eridan asked from behind him. Sollux turned as Eridan jumped up from the couch and rushed around to get to him. "Sol, why'd you-"

When Eridan reached Sollux, he was promptly interrupted as Sollux threw his arms around his neck and held him tightly. Eridan went rigid, his arms splayed out on either side of Sollux.

"Sol?" he asked softly. Sollux tightened his grip and buried his face in the crook of his neck. It was somewhat awkward, as Sollux was usually shorter than Eridan because of his natural slouch compared to Eridan's natural straight-backed stride. Now, however, it was him who was taller, and he hung on Eridan like a limp rag doll. Finally, Eridan's arms wrapped tentatively around Sollux's back, and he slowly rubbed it.

"I'm tired," Sollux said after a long pause. His voice came out in a rattling croak, and he swallowed hard before continuing. "I'm really fucking tired."

"I understand," Eridan murmured. Sollux snorted.

"No you don't. You don't have a clue."

"I wasn't trying to relate. I was saying that you can tell me anythin' an' I'll listen… asshole."

"Was that really necessary?"

"I'm tryin' to calm you down."

"I am calm."

"You're shakin'."

"That's because it's cold in here."

"Bullshit. You said that you're naturally warm. You're lyin'."

"…You actually remembered that?"

"Well, you're holdin' me, aren't you?"

Sollux smiled a little and allowed the shivering to leave his body.

"Am I really that warm to you?"

"Am I cold?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"No, it feels good."

"You're weird."

"You're a bitch."

"_Rude_."

Sollux burst into laughter against the skin of Eridan's neck.

"I swear to God I lose my shit every time you say that word."

"Well, you really are the rudest little asshole I've ever had the misfortune of meetin'."

"You love it."

"Just a bit."

Sollux went quiet and just rested against Eridan's body. His shoulders were surprisingly broad and strong, unlike his narrow, stick-like figure. Perhaps it was the clothes Eridan wore, but Sollux had seen him as even skinnier than himself. But now, as he held Eridan close in his arms, he could feel each muscle, each soft curve of his bones, and every small flex of his arms.

"Sol?"

"Hm?"

"You didn't…?"

Sollux's eyes sunk to the ground behind Eridan.

"I tried to overdose on sleeping pills this morning."

"…Why in Cod's name would you do that?"

"I don't really want to live anymore, to be honest."

Eridan pulled away abruptly, only to reach up and hold Sollux's face in his hands. He squinted hard at Sollux, his lips slightly parted in questioning. Sollux's response was a sheepish half smile. His hands slid down from Eridan's neck to hold his waist. Noticing this, Eridan sort of let out a strange sigh, shifting to draw closer to Sollux.

"I think you have things to live for," Eridan said, his voice dropping into a low rumble. Sollux searched his pupils as Eridan's fingers ran over his smooth cheek.

"Like?"

"The chance to get some of this 'choice ass' is reason enough. And you'll never get that. Ever. I don't just _hand it out _to little douchebags like you. So you'll never have a reason to kill yourself. Don't do it."

"Are you _ever_ going to let go of that stupid 'choice ass' thing?"

"Don't you roll your eyes at me. If you recall, it was _you_ who said it in the first place."

"Well, I take it back. I'll take it back so hard that your head will spin. I said that _before_ I realized that you're a fucking bitchy cocktease."

"You're just jealous that I have more self respect than you," Eridan breathed, slowly dragging his hands down Sollux's shoulders, chest, and to his hips, where his hands curled around to just barely brush against his ass.

"Self respect," Sollux echoed skeptically. "Right."

"Yeah. I'm disappointed. I thought you were strong, but if you're goin' to be a weaklin', I don't think I'm in the least bit interested in you anymore."

Sollux let out a shaky sigh as Eridan inclined his head and whispered his words to his throat, his lips so close to touching bare skin that Sollux could feel their warmth.

"You seem interested to me," Sollux said, and his voice accidentally cracked. While his face lit up in a heated blush, Eridan let out a amused cackle. In retaliation, Sollux's hands flew down and grabbed hard at Eridan's ass, making him jump and let out a small yelp.

"Fff_fuck_," Eridan snarled through gritted teeth, grinding into Sollux's hands. "Our second d-day of knowin' ea-each other an' I fall for th-this _shit_."

"It's been two weeks. It's not that bad."

"Our second d-day of actually t-t-talkin', though," Eridan stammered weakly, his face deepening a shade and his eyelids drooping a bit more with each squeeze of Sollux's hands.

"It's fine," Sollux insisted, pulling Eridan even closer and stooping his head to nip at Eridan's cheek.

"_Ahh_," Eridan whined, squirming.

"Tease," Sollux grunted, continuing to nibble.

Eridan tore away suddenly, then turned back to Sollux with an animalistic scowl on his face. He reached up and grabbed Sollux's face, knotting his fingers in his hair. With a moan, he mashed his face against Sollux's. Their noses knocked together somewhat awkwardly, but once their heads were tilted, all of the heat and desire that had built up between them in the two weeks that they were apart came rushing forward in the form of a kiss.

"Cod da-" Eridan began before his lips were taken again. Sollux felt him resist ever so slightly, but before he could pull away to ask if Eridan was okay, his arms flew around Sollux's neck and held him tight.

Oh _Christ_.

He was a screamer.

Between the usual sounds of sloppy makeouts were high-pitched moans from Eridan, which were instantly swallowed by Sollux's kisses. Sollux's mind was instantly overwhelmed with images of Eridan lying naked in bed, drenched in sweat, arching his back in ecstasy, and letting out shrill, inhuman sounds of pleasure.

Sollux was beginning to tug at the hem of Eridan's shirt when the door buzzer sounded. They wrenched away from each other and hastily disentangled their limbs. For no real reason, they brushed themselves off, then glanced at each other.

Both sets of cheeks were bright red and burning. The sight made them both burst into a fit of giggles.

"You look stupid," Eridan teased. Sollux smiled.

"So do you."


	18. Chapter 18

**Enjoy! :)**

[Chapter 18]

"Well, these dolls look rather mutilated, wouldn't you say, my dear?"

Rose looked up from her laptop in her lap and nodded sagely as she watched Kanaya lift the arm of one of the dolls up to the light.

"Yes indeed. What, Mr. Ampora, could you have possibly done to mangle such pretty little dolls?"

Eridan glanced nervously at Sollux as they sat on a couple kitchen chairs they had pulled up next to the fireplace. Rose and Kanaya had taken up the entire couch, even though they were quite the thin figures, save for a curve here and there. Apparently a classy lesbian took up a lot of space.

Sollux finally nudged Eridan, and he jumped a little.

"Uh…Uh…I-I…" he stuttered, swallowing hard. "I don't-"

Kanaya squinted at Eridan, and he pulled the fleece throw he had swiped from the couch tighter around his body, sort of like a cape.

"He just had a lapse in judgment is all," Sollux explained simply, shrugging. Rose glanced at him, and the evil look in her eye made even him downcast his eyes.

"So he destroyed two perfectly good dolls with his own hands, then got on his pitiful hands and knees before my darling Kanaya to repair them for him herself?"

She sounded so grim and dark that Sollux was surprised she didn't burst into flames. Oh dear, sweet Rose. Dear, sweet, holy shitfucking _demonic_ Rose.

Kanaya put a gentle hand on Rose's knee, and the darkness surrounding Rose instantly evaporated. She smiled sweetly at Kanaya, who smiled back.

"It's quite alright. Your dorm room is very tidy and nice," Kanaya commented politely, plunging her sewing needle into the arm of the doll and beginning to sew it back onto the body. Eridan's shoulders relaxed ever so slightly and he graced them with a slight upturn of his lips. In turn, Sollux smiled as well.

"They're such lovely dolls, though," Rose cooed, picking up the body of the blue-and-beige doll and smoothing out its little tan dress. "What's this symbol on her dress?"

"It's the symbol for Hope," Eridan replied, somewhat shyly. "An' that one's a Seer. The other one has the symbol of Heart on it, an' it's a Bard."

"Seer of Hope and Bard of Heart, huh?" Sollux asked, crossing his arms. "Where'd you think up of those names?"

Eridan blushed a little more and tucked in his chin, as if he was wearing a scarf.

"Well… Fef kinda likes this story about fairies an' stuff an'… an' I don't like it, though, I don't believe in magic!"

Everyone watched as Eridan squirmed in his chair and pulled at the blanket around his shoulders and buried his face in the fleece material.

"But she likes those two the best," Eridan finally said after a quick clear of his throat.

"I see," Rose said. "Well, Eridan, these are very pretty dolls and I think it was a shame for you to ruin them."

"I know," Eridan sighed, wilting. Rose only smiled a little.

"The detail is simply magnificent," she said a little louder than before, continuing to stroke the dress of the Seer of Hope doll. "You seem to have quite the talent on your hands."

"Really?" Eridan asked.

"Allow me to put in my almost professional opinion," Kanaya interjected, looking up from her sewing. Eridan cringed a little, but Kanaya only put on a smile that mimicked Rose's. "These dolls are truly wonderful, and marvelous, and I'm jealous. It's not the bad kind of envy in which I get angry with you for doing better than I could, and by that I'm not insinuating anything at all, no not one bit, but the type of jealousy I have is much more on a platonic level. And by platonic, I'm sure you know that I mean-"

Rose put a light hand on Kanaya's thigh.

"You're rambling again, Kanaya," she said kindly. Kanaya blushed a little and, flustered, cleared her throat.

"…Good job," Kanaya finally said. "…Is what I meant to say."

Eridan sat up a little more on his chair, still looking a little doubtful but at least looking a bit more comfortable. Sollux hoped that Rose and Kanaya would stop the onslaught of compliments so Eridan's head wouldn't swell, but both ladies (being accustomed to Eridan's egotistical nature) remained silent for the remainder of the sewing session.

It began to get long after a while, and Sollux's ass was starting to hurt, so he hopped off of his chair and went to the refrigerator to search for something to eat. Eridan was hovering over him in a second, scolding him for being rude and just rifling through his refrigerator like a starving animal. To that, Sollux responded with a not-so-polite reminder that Eridan had, indeed, invited him to grab anything he would like to eat. Again, this led to an argument about the God damn chocolates, a new bruise on Sollux's arm from a surprisingly well-thrown punch, and a pin cushion to the back of the head by a very annoyed-looking Rose.

But before long, Sollux and Eridan were moving about the kitchenette in a manner that didn't differ much from the intricate swirling and twirling of dancers. No, they weren't being little douchebags by pretending to be ballerinas, but instead they narrowly missed hitting each other with pots or pans or knives, and as they moved out of each other's way, it became quite the waltz.

Sollux cooked of course, and Eridan offered him any sort of utensil or container he needed to complete the job. When Sollux didn't need anything, Eridan just began hovering again. He'd smell mixtures, taste them, shake or nod his head, and Sollux would add or take away accordingly. It was a fun game, not unlike picking a lock, in which the pick had to be set in a certain way to open the lock. In this case, Eridan's fucked up taste buds were the lock, and Sollux's wooden spoon was the pick.

The pick was pretty God damned annoyed by the time the lock finally couldn't keep his stupid fishboy hands off the tasting spoon.

And so, dinner was smacked down on the table.

A simple beef stew, made from what Sollux had found in the fridge.

"Hey, we made dinner for you guys," Sollux said, bringing some plates to the table while Eridan followed with silverware and napkins. From the living room, where Kanaya and Rose were cuddling on the couch while watching some fashion show on television, there was a sound of delight.

"I smell something incredibly tasty," Kanaya said, untangling herself from Rose and coming to the table. She hungrily eyed the stew.

"Did you finish the dolls already?" Eridan asked with surprise in his voice. To answer, him, Rose came into the dining area with a little bundle cupped in her hands.

"I hope you don't mind," Kanaya began as Rose unveiled the newly repaired dolls. "…but I found some miniature magnets in my sewing kit and put them in their hands. They looked like they belonged together."

To demonstrate, Rose held up the dolls and made them hug each other tightly around the neck. They stayed there, and Eridan stared in awe as he gingerly scooped up the winged fairy dolls into his hands.

"I also sewed them extra tight. They shouldn't come apart so easily this time. So make sure you be gentle with them," Kanaya half-scolded. "And furthermore, I-"

Kanaya was unable to finish, because Eridan lurched forward and hugged her tightly around her torso - arms and all. Kanaya stood there for a moment, shocked, before sighing and awkwardly patting Eridan on the back. Rose and Sollux exchanged a knowing glance before Rose stepped forward.

"Cooking together, I see? Don't think you can hide from me, Captor. I sense that there are some _homosexual undertones_ to every instance in which your pretty eyes meet."

Sollux's lips quirked a bit and he shrugged.

"Well, may I just say," Rose said, crossing her arms and nodding. "I approve. You two look positively _splendid_ together. You suit each other."

Sollux grimaced.

"Insult or a compliment?"

"Downright insult, and you know it."

"Rose, how on earth did I get pressured into being in cahoots with you?"

"Karkat is quite persuasive."

At the mention of Karkat, the high of having friends and a hot babe in his vicinity dwindled just a bit. He frowned, and Rose gave him a curious look.

"Is something the matter?" she asked. Sollux nodded ever so slightly and glanced at the clock on Eridan's stove. Rose instantly understood, and she turned to Kanaya and Eridan, who were currently discussing scarves and their benefits in the world of fashion. She turned back to Sollux and spoke under her breath. "They won't mind if you leave now. I don't know what's troubling you, but please, whatever it is, don't do anything irrational."

"I know," Sollux responded with a small nod. Rose reached out and gave his hand a small squeeze, to which he responded with a weak smile.

While Kanaya and Eridan were in a particularly heated part of their discussion, Sollux snuck backwards and went to the front door, where he quickly slipped into his shoes and jacket. He crept out the door, silently closing it behind him.

That's when he broke into a run.

* * *

><p>By the time he got to his and Karkat's dormitory building, it was nearly six at night. He hadn't realized how long he had been at Eridan's place, and it worried him greatly. He was beginning to fret about just how much Eridan made time fly. Eridan gave him something to think about. He was a distraction.<p>

He took the pain away.

At the door to his room, Sollux paused with his hand on the knob. He felt a cold shiver make its way up his spine, and part of him knew he wasn't going to like what he saw on the other side.

But he put his key in the hole anyway, because he desperately wanted to see Karkat and prove to him that he wasn't lying when he said that his uncle had-

The door swung open to reveal Karkat sitting on his bed with his knees brought up to his chin. Clenched in his hand was his cellphone, which was pressed up close to his ear.

"…I'll talk to you later. Yeah. Bye."

Sollux didn't realize what he was doing until he was slamming the door shut behind him and storming into the room at full speed. He didn't realize his hurt until he was upon Karkat.

And he didn't realize just how enraged he was until his fist connected with Karkat's jaw and sent his phone flying out of his hands.

There wasn't much of a vocal reaction at all. Rather, Karkat jumped right up off of the bed and swung at Sollux with just as much force, landing a hit on his chin. Next came shoving, and the only sound in the room was the sound of scuffling feet and hisses and grunts.

Sollux threw his jacket off and cast it to the floor to free up his arms a bit more, and the ripping and tearing escalated into something like feral dogs fighting over a piece of meat.

Finally, they got caught in a stalemate, their arms tangled up in each other and fistfuls of hair caught in their locked fingers. They stood there for a long time, squirming or jerking every few seconds in a vain attempt to free themselves from each other.

A silent agreement passed between them a second later, and they both released each other at once.

"What the _fuck?_" Karkat instantly shouted upon being let go, straightening his shirt and hair before training the most lethal death stare at Sollux's eyes.

"You're a fucking dick," Sollux snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at Karkat as he watched his friend go to his phone on the bed and check it.

"How so?" Karkat asked, scowling at his phone in both anger and disappointment before snapping it shut.

"You fucking _suck_," Sollux continued to lash out. When Karkat didn't look at him right away, Sollux lurched forward and shoved Karkat again, and his response was a fist to his arm. He winced a little as his little friend's surprisingly strong punch hit him directly on top of a bruise.

"Dude, fuck _off_," Karkat snapped, spreading his arms out on either side of him as if he had no idea why Sollux was so pissed off. "Holy fucking shit, how do you think I felt when you sent me that God damn text? Okay, listen Sollux. Every fucking thing you've told me only suggests that you're just trying to get attention from me. I mean… holy shit, there's no fucking way that you're uncle is _that_ fucking bad. I mean, if he was, you would've just reported him, right? And, Jesus fucking _Christ_, if you need to talk to me so bad, then why were you _texting_ me?"

"You were out."

Karkat squinted, and Sollux looked at his feet. Finally, he reached up and behind him to grab the back of his shirt. He tugged it up and over his head without a single word. Karkat let out a strangled sound and stared in horror at Sollux's chest. It was too much and Sollux's eyes began to sting.

"I don't fucking _like_ it," Sollux snarled as Karkat failed to disguise the fact that he was still gaping at Sollux's chest. "I fucking _hate_ it."

"Why don't you just fucking _tell someone?_" Karkat asked incredulously.

Sollux's throat tightened and he gritted his teeth before lowering his head and pressing his palm hard into his forehead.

"You don't understand, Karkat. I-"

"_What is there to understand?_" Karkat shouted, and Sollux jumped and withdrew into himself even more. "He fucking _raped_ you! _Report him!_"

"I _can't_," Sollux whimpered. The tears finally began rolling down his face, and he couldn't control his sobs even though he was already humiliated.

"Fine," Karkat said, his voice wavering. "Then I'll do it _for_ you, because I can't fucking stand seeing you like this."

Karkat turned to head towards the bed, and Sollux was about to grab his arm. However, before he could move, his entire body locked up and a suffocating sensation began creeping its way up his back, coiling around his neck and choking the life out of him.

He was young. Eleven years old. Short, shrimpy kid. Barely tall enough to reach it. Just enough to knock the phone off of the wall and onto the floor. Old enough to know how to punch in the numbers. Old enough to know the address.

Old enough to begin to realize what the hell was going on in his life. Old enough to know he was fucked up. Old enough to know the phone had been placed higher than normal to prevent exactly this from happening.

He barely had the three numbers punched into the dial when he was grabbed from behind. That was the first time he had learned what it was like to have the life strangled out of him. It was the first time he was brought so close to unconsciousness or death or something to be truly, _truly_ terrified of. He had been beaten within an inch of his life, and everything had gone downhill from there.

The words still rang in his head as vividly as if the meltdown had only happened yesterday.

_If you tell absolutely anyone about this, I'll kill you._

It was the worst and most serious threat Sollux had ever received, and he didn't need to be told twice.

Not then.

Not now.

Blindly rushing forward in the agonizing white-hot pain of the migraine that had suddenly exploded behind his eyes, Sollux stumbled and fell to his knees, catching Karkat by the hem of his shirt and dragging him back.

He couldn't hear his own voice begging for Karkat not to call anyone and not to tell anyone. The voices from his childhood screamed at him from within, drowning out all other noises, telling him to run and hide and never ever look back. He couldn't see Karkat kneeling down and smacking him in the face, couldn't see his lips moving to form the words 'snap out of it' and 'Sollux?'

When the throbbing of his head and the numbness of his limbs finally began to fade, his senses slowly began to creep back. He was left a shivering, whimpering mess on the floor, and without a word, Karkat wrapped his arms around his shoulders and held him tightly.

"I'm not going to call anyone, so just calm the fuck down, okay?"

His voice was quivering.

"Sollux?"

Sollux relaxed a bit more into Karkat's hold, willing the trembling to go away.

"I had no idea," Karkat sighed. "Shit, man. You are _fucked up_."

Sollux forced out a breathy laugh and nodded clumsily, his head lolling slightly to the side. The whispering in his head began to clear up shortly after that, pulling him from his semiconscious daze.

"Sollux, you're not going to like this, but hear me out. There's got to be something _really_ fucked up going on. Like… how do I say this?"

"Spit it out, assclown."

"…I think there's something… _legitimately_ wrong with your head."

Sollux glanced up at Karkat, who grimaced back at him.

"I think you should either go and find professional help from some therapist or something, or go to see a fucking _doctor _for Christ's sake. Because I'm pretty God damn sure that there's something seriously wrong with your head."

To that, Sollux looked down in shame, and Karkat went a little rigid.

"And you know I mean that in the least douchebaggy way possible, right? I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm… really fucking worried, you know?"

Sollux nodded a bit, clinging onto Karkat tighter. To his pleasant surprise, Karkat also tightened his grip and held Sollux's head to his shoulder.

"What do you want me to do?" Sollux asked, not raising himself out of Karkat's hold. "I don't know what I can do, I mean-"

"Isn't it fucking obvious? You need help. You need _therapy_, medications, that kind of stuff. And I don't know why you haven't done it before now."

"It's not like my uncle would've let me."

"True. But… like I said, you don't need everyone to hold your hand for you. You've gotta make some decisions on your own," Karkat said. Pause. "…But this time I'm making the decision for you. You're going to go see a doctor."

Sollux gazed up at his friend for a moment before finally looking down and giving a tiny nod of his head.


	19. Chapter 19

Enjoy :)!

[Chapter 19]

During the trip back to Arizona a few days before fall break started, Sollux didn't even bother contacting his mother. She wouldn't care about any of the shit that happened to him, even though he would finally be in the same state as her once they landed.

Karkat's mother had paid for them both to come back down for fall break, and had hesitantly agreed to take Sollux to a doctor and psychiatrist. At first, she had pressed Karkat for information on the matter, but when Karkat faked a breakdown on the phone, Mrs. Vantas had accepted and would be waiting for them at the airport when they landed.

Sollux thought that at least half of Karkat's 'act' hadn't been an act at all.

Once they landed down in Phoenix, Mrs. Vantas had swept both boys up into her arms. She looked older than she had before, but the comfort of being held in her arms was exactly the same. They went home to unpack and get re-familiarized with Karkat's room.

A couple days later, after getting rid of the jet lag, Mrs. Vantas made the dreaded drive up north a little ways to the psychiatrist Sollux would be meeting with. Sollux was nervous to the point of shaking violently in his seat, but Mrs. Vantas reached over to him and just silently took his hand. He relaxed a little after that.

But when he got to the doctor's office, things got a little fuzzy. He remembered most things, like his blood being drawn. He didn't much like that, but he was able to remain relatively calm. Then, after a couple eye and ear tests from a kindly yet rushed nurse, the psychiatrist met with him.

Things went downhill from there.

It was a long and grueling process to get only a quarter of the information out of Sollux for the psychiatrist. He didn't want to talk about any of the shit she wanted him to talk about. Half of the things he couldn't even think about without getting angry.

And finally he got so pissed off that he stormed out and had to get gently coaxed back in by a couple nurses.

By the time the session was finished, Sollux's head was throbbing and he was twitching ever so slightly. He claimed it was because he was tired, but before long he was quaking violently and had to sit down for a moment to collect himself.

Then Karkat told him that Sollux had always been a little… _off_. He couldn't describe it, really, but Sollux soon learned that he had always had somewhat of a nervous twitch. It'd be minor, like a random jerk of the wrist. Karkat also noticed how Sollux was always, _always_ moving. He'd tap his heel, tap his toes, tap his fingers, or constantly cross and uncross his legs.

Like he was about to jump up and run.

Karkat also explained that Sollux was horrible at night. Constantly moaning as if he was in pain, Sollux would often convulse in bed or jump. Karkat had been convinced it was only dreaming, but since the psychiatrist visit…

Well, now they had somewhere to point the blame.

It was revealed that, as a child, Sollux was deathly afraid of the 'monsters in his room' and would always come downstairs and cry next to Mrs. and Mr. Vantas's bed whenever he spent the night. He had long since outgrown that, but the real problem was one simple detail.

Sollux didn't remember any of it.

He didn't remember dreams, or nightmares, or nervous fidgets, or moving, or the way his eyes shot around like he was looking for a way to escape.

And he had _never_ noticed the twitching.

Until now.

The next day, when they went back to the doctor's office to get the results of the session, Sollux was even more nervous. Or at least he thought he was, because his muscles kept having random spasms all the way there.

They were forced to wait for quite some time before the psychiatrist came to them to speak with them herself. She granted all three of them inside -Karkat, his mother, and Sollux- her room and closed the door quietly behind her. The makeshift family took a hesitant seat on a couch that faced a small desk. The psychiatrist took a seat and just looked at them for a few moments.

"We've gone through Mr. Captor's results and… I've got some bad news."

Mrs. Vantas took Sollux's hand in hers and squeezed hard as Sollux visibly slumped.

"It was obvious to me that Sollux has gone through severe psychological trauma, according to the results we have here," she began, flipping open a manila folder with several papers and Sollux's picture in it. "He was not open to sharing some information, but I am certain that the diagnosis of his mental illnesses is correct."

"Mental illnesses?" Mrs. Vantas asked weakly. The psychiatrist frowned and looked back down at her notes.

"He has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and depression. But the good news is that all three have medications that will help with the symptoms. As you probably know, the 'cure' for these mental disorders will be in the hands of Sollux himself and the loved ones around him. At this point, some of the mental instability has been long drilled into his brain, and I fear there are some things he just won't be able to get over. That's fine. Just be patient with him and continue to care for him, and eventually the illnesses could potentially run themselves out and Sollux would come out just fine. This is only a hypothesis, though, so don't skip out on the medications.

"All three of the disorders are pretty minor in Sollux's case, but enough for him to be eligible for medication to help him along and make daily life easier for him. I am prescribing a less potent antidepressant to avoid running the risk of making Sollux's depression worse. Unfortunately, he is on the teetering edge between childhood and adulthood, so prescribing a strong enough drug while still being mindful of the fact that he is still practically a minor was a little difficult. However, we have found something that I'm sure will help out."

The psychiatrist signed a paper and handed it to Mrs. Vantas, who looked it over as her face paled. Sollux wasn't paying much attention, though.

_Mentally instable._

He put his head down in mortified shame.

The psychiatrist waited until Mrs. Vantas put the paper down before she rested her elbows upon the table and folded her hands.

"Now. I've been meaning to talk to you about Sollux's session with me. Everything ran smoothly at first, but after a while it… it became quite apparent that something was off. The more questions about family life and social patterns, the more Sollux withdrew from me. And… the more hallucinations he had."

Sollux looked up, his skin around his eyes creased and strained in the unbearable weight of everything that was dropping onto his shoulders. Beside him, Karkat swallowed hard.

"There were things that Sollux said that didn't make sense, and I believe the cause may have been auditory hallucinations. In less formal terms, I believe he was 'hearing voices'. He said things completely out of context and completely irrelevant to the subject at hand. A few things he said, though, hinted at some deeply ingrained fears and even phobias. Meaning that whatever he has gone through, which I don't know the extent of, was very, _very_ emotionally and mentally traumatizing for him.

"Sollux also briefly mentioned 'flashbacks', in which he would see, hear, or feel something that would 'trigger' him and result in vivid images of the past and a post-episode migraine. This, above all else, concerns me the most. I'm not positive, but I believe this could be the beginning of a much more severe case of schizophrenia that could potentially lead to dementia or Alzheimer's later in Sollux's life. It is incredibly important that these disorders are treated now before the minor issue turns into a major issue.

"Mrs. Vantas, is it correct that you are not this boy's guardian?"

"That is correct," Mrs. Vantas confirmed, nodding jerkily.

"I wish I had the means of putting this boy into your care, Mrs. Vantas," the psychiatrist sighed. "If there was one thing that I gathered from our session, it's that he was and is severely neglected by… his 'guardian' or 'guardians'. While I am not one to judge my patients that come in, I am particularly disgusted with the way this child has been treated."

Mrs. Vantas blinked, taken aback.

"I-I-I'm sorry, ma'am, I-" she stammered. "I was kept as much in the dark about this as you were and this is all so much to take in."

The psychiatrist waved her hand dismissively.

"Nonono. You are not the one at fault here. In any case, I'm glad he has some sort of positive female influence in his life. Thank you for that. My child suffers from autism and, as a mother with a child in that sort of situation, I have _no_ tolerance for parents who neglect their children. At least Sollux here has his friends and the family of his friends who care enough to take him to see a doctor in place of a guardian.

"Now, do you have any more questions for me?"

When there was none, the psychiatrist got up from her desk at the same time Mrs. Vantas stood, and they briefly shook hands before they were led back out of the office and into the lobby.

The moment they were out of the building, Mrs. Vantas's arm was around both Sollux and Karkat's waists, and they didn't protest as they were speed-walked back to the car. Once there, everyone buckled up and waited for the car to start.

But Mrs. Vantas just bent forward and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, squeezing her eyes shut and frowning hard.

"Mom, are you-" Karkat began from the backseat.

"Karkat, hush," Mrs. Vantas snapped. "I'm trying to think."

Sollux looked over his shoulder at Karkat, who just shrugged, looking irritated yet disgruntled.

After a few moments of tense quiet, Mrs. Vantas finally sighed and sat up. They drove to the pharmacy to pick up Sollux's medications, then rode home in silence.

* * *

><p>That night, at the dinner table, Sollux's mouth felt full of ashes. He could scarcely eat, and instead picked and poked at his food. At one point, Mrs. Vantas stopped eating all together and just watched Sollux with a frown on her face. She told him to stop playing with his food and eat, but he didn't reply.<p>

"Sollux, _eat your dinner!_"

The snapped command was loud enough that Sollux jumped. He was so shocked by the outburst that he couldn't fight back. Instead of arguing, he just mumbled 'yes ma'am' and got right back to eating.

Sollux wasn't allowed to leave the table until he was finished. Mrs. Vantas sat there with him long after Karkat and Mr. Vantas had already been excused, making Sollux uncomfortable and extremely irritated. He barely managed to choke down his food, ashes and all. The fact that he wasn't just vomiting all over the place confirmed that the meal would have been delicious if not for the vile taste in Sollux's mouth and the ache plaguing his stomach and heart and mind.

Later, while Karkat was showering, Sollux heard the door open and footsteps walk inside Karkat's room. He was sprawled out on the bed in a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved flannel. It was uncomfortably hot, but Sollux couldn't risk taking any clothes off for bed until he was sure he could hide the yellowing bruises and scarring cuts on his skin. Sollux felt the bed dip beside him, but he didn't move.

"How are you doing?" the voice of Mrs. Vantas asked. Sollux pretended to be asleep. He heard a sigh. "You know, Sollux, I honestly don't know anything that's going on here. I don't know what your family has been through. I don't know what _you've_ been through. But that doesn't mean I won't support you."

Sollux felt a soft hand running through his hair and combing it back. Nails lightly _scritch_-_scritch_ed at his scalp, making good tingles run down his spine.

"I don't expect you to tell me any time soon," Mrs. Vantas continued. "But you're welcome to talk to me at any time. And if you're ever ready to tell me about it, I'll be here to listen. I promise."

Mrs. Vantas took a few seconds to just stroke Sollux's hair.

"I know it's hard for you to have these obstacles in your life at such a young age. It's hard and nobody understands. And I say obstacles because that's _all they are._ Not illnesses. Not diseases or disorders or 'mental disabilities'. No. They're something that, with the right amount of strength and love and support, you _can_ overcome. You're strong and smart and very handsome, Sollux. Don't let these obstacles hold you back from achieving the things that you set out to do."

Sollux felt the bed shift again and he received a long, warm kiss on the center of his forehead.

"Goodnight, honey," she murmured. "Sweet dreams."

The weight lifted from the bed and Sollux heard retreating footsteps. He gulped against the rock hard lump in his throat and blinked the dampness out of his eyes from under his arm. He heard the door open again.

"Mo-?" Sollux began, sitting up abruptly. He didn't mean to say it, but it just slipped from his lips as if it was natural instinct. "Mom?"

Mrs. Vantas, who was in the doorway, turned to face him with her eyebrows raised. Sollux blushed and looked away, scratching awkwardly at his arm.

However, he didn't correct himself.

"You can call me that from now on," Mrs. Vantas said slowly. Sollux looked up at her. "I mean, if you want to. If it's not too weird for you."

Sollux didn't answer, and instead busied himself with picking the fuzz off his blanket. It was quiet for a long time before Mrs. Vantas went back to the bed and sat back down on it. Sollux hesitantly raised his eyes to her and searched her pupils for the truth and promise he had been cruelly denied by his family his whole life, but he didn't see that.

All he saw was love, and part of him desperately wanted to believe that truth and promise was included in that package.

So he did.

Sollux looked down again, overwhelmed.

"Um, I-" he croaked. "Thank y-"

The words caught in his throat and he put his head in his hand, knotting his fingers in his hair.

"Dyuhvtxng?" he mumbled incoherently, his voice wavering.

"What was that, my dear?"

"D-Do you have texting?" Sollux asked. "Do you text?"

"Of course," Mrs. Vantas said. "Would you like my number?"

Sollux wordlessly picked up his cellphone from the bedside table and flipped it open. Mrs. Vantas smiled and laughed, then recited her number for Sollux. As she did, she watched over his shoulder and reached behind him to rub and scratch his back.

When Sollux tried to add her to his contacts, he realized that 'Mrs. Vantas' wouldn't work so well with his faulty buttons, so he paused and thought for a moment.

"Can I add you to my contacts as 'Mom'?" Sollux finally asked. Mrs. Vantas laughed that special laugh of hers and brought Sollux's head close to kiss his temple.

"Do whatever you'd like."

Upon trying to add her as 'Mom', he got the option to override his actual mother's number. He thought hard for a second, deciding he couldn't bring himself to delete the number. So he went in and changed his mother's contact, instead listing it as 'Mom 2'.

And Mrs. Vantas became 'Mom'.

Pleased, Sollux saved the contact and looked over at Mrs. Vantas, who had tears streaming down her face. Startled, Sollux frowned.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm upset that I didn't catch this sooner. I always thought you were a little sad as a child, and I always thought you and your mom had a rocky relationship, but I had no idea that you were…"

She trailed off and took a moment to collect herself.

"And I feel partly responsible. I should've said something. I'm so sorry, Sollux."

Sollux pulled one knee up to rest his chin on it and looked down at his blankets in thought.

"It wasn't your responsibility to catch something like that," Sollux said with a shrug. "It's… it's behind me now, so…"

Sollux clenched his fist around his phone.

"I just want…" Sollux began, trailing off. He took a breath to continue, but faltered and shut his mouth again. He looked to Mrs. Vantas for help, and she only smiled back at him with understanding.

"Having trouble putting things into words, I see," Mrs. Vantas noted, chortling. "It's okay, I had Karcrab to deal with as demon spawn, so I understand completely."

They both shared a little laugh.

"I'm not asking you to be my son, and I know you're not asking me to be your mother, but just put your trust in me, okay?" Mrs. Vantas asked, reaching up to gently yet obsessively smooth down a lock of hair that flared out like a wing on the side of Sollux's head. "I won't judge you, I won't ignore you, and I will always be here to listen when you need to talk to someone. You've been friends with Karkat for so long, and you've made his experience as a teenager so much better… you're practically family to my husband and I. He probably won't want you calling him 'Dad', but he loves you just as much as I do. Just know that."

"Okay," Sollux said in a soft voice, smiling a little bit. "…Thanks, Mrs. Va-… uh, Mom. I really appreciate it."

Mrs. Vantas brought Sollux into a tight embrace, and Sollux happily returned the hug.

There was something different about her hugs. It wasn't a lover's hug, or an awkward hug. It was like the way his mother used to hug him when she actually gave a shit about his life, when she would take him up into her arms and just rock him in her rocking chair and sing him lullabies. There was something solemn and confirming about it that made Sollux's heart flutter. This hug told him that he had someone to believe in, someone to trust unconditionally.

Someone for him to call 'Mom'.

He didn't have to cry over it. Even though having a mother to care about him and hold him and talk to him had been something he had ached for practically his whole life, no tears came to his eyes. Rather, he felt suffocated by his own emotions. He found it impossible to find the right words to say to the woman holding him in her arms.

So instead he focused on his most favorite thing about moms. Their scent.

She smelled like cranberries.


	20. Chapter 20

**I'd like to just say something about typing quirks real quick! As a few of you know, Kanaya's typing quirk was a little off. That's okay! In fact, most of the typing quirks will be off. Just like Sollux uses 'to' and 'too' instead of 'two', a lot of the other characters have changed typing quirks just to make it more realistic. Karkat is basically the only one without a changed typing quirk because his is, for the most part, realistic.**

**Remember guys, this is an AU story, so things will be a little DIFF-ER-ENT! 38)!**

**Also, Feferi makes an appearance in this chapter via texting. Her typing quirk has been altered for realism, as you will be able to tell once you get there. Also, the hyphens used for her 'tridents' were cut off by FFnet, and there's nothing I can do to change that. On the tumblr version of OHAC, you can see Feferi's typing quirk completely 'uncensored'. You can read it at sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/ohacupdates.  
><strong>

**Enjoy 38D**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 20]<p>

During the following week, Sollux clung to Mrs. Vantas as if she was his final lifeline. She didn't mind at all, but Karkat (of course) got irritated by it. However, he was able to tolerate it because he seemed to feel terrible about Sollux's predicament. Sollux assured him that there were no hard feelings between them concerning Karkat's disbelief, but Karkat was somewhat docile around Sollux for the entire week.

Sollux spent so much time with Mrs. Vantas that he soon got accustomed to calling her 'Mom', and Mrs. Vantas wasn't afraid to snap or correct Sollux when he did something wrong. Sollux didn't even mind it when she yelled at him one day for using a swear word when she was still in hearing distance. It was nice and refreshing to feel the embarrassed flame in his cheeks. He didn't _try_ to get yelled at or anything, but did not argue when he was.

Most of the days spent with Mrs. Vantas consisted of him helping her with laundry, dinner, or with general household chores. Sollux also helped Mr. Vantas work on his car in the garage and fix the roof, then shared a brief shouting match when they tried to cook dinner together for the family.

He asked Mrs. Vantas questions about the reality show she was watching as they sat together on the couch and got shushed a couple times for it. He watched old, corny 80's movies with Mr. Vantas and got smacked upside the head for so much as making a peep. Sollux hadn't expected a comfortable family life to consist of a bunch of arguing and bickering between everyone, with smacks and punches every which way. Maybe it was just because it was Karkat's family, but part of Sollux had a feeling that bickering was just the way a family functioned.

In any case, Sollux-

Sollux was abruptly jerked out of his thoughts as his phone, which was sitting on his chest, vibrated. He was lying on his bed in Karkat's room, trying to take a short nap before the whole family went out to dinner that night. Curious, he picked up his phone and flipped it open.

_H-EY SOLLUX! 38D_

_who ii2 thii2_

_GU-ESS! 38)!_

_uh ii2 thii2 betty from health 101_

_No silly! It's me, F-EF!_

_oh damn, hey feferii_

_Hi there! 38)_

_what'2 up_

_Nothing, I just felt like texting you. I noticed your number in my phone and I was like OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT SOLLUX! 38(_

_oh ehehehe iit'2 fiine no worriie2_

_Where are you right now?_

_ii'm at my friiend'2 hou2e down iin ariizona for fall break_

_Oh wow! All the way down in Arizona, huh?_

_yeah_

_That's SW-EET! 38D_

_how bout you_

_I'm actually visiting my mom up in Maine. It's pretty cold up here but we've got a hottub so everything's just GR-EAT! 38)_

_what ii2 goiing on wiith your capiital E2_

_My Es? Oh it's just a silly old habit of mine! My Zodiac sign is Pisces, so I like to pretend me Es are TRID-ENTS! 38)_

_oh you beliieve iin the zodiiac? _

_Yup!_

_oh that'2 cool. ii alway2 thought iit wa2 a bunch of bull_

_H-EEH-EE! Yeah, I used to do everything all Pisces based. Like my Hs were )( and stuff._

_ew yeah that would be hard to read ehehe_

_Yep! People used to complain all the time, and even I think that it was quite annoying to read! Speaking of which, why do you use 2s instead of Ss and double your Is?_

_oh iit'2 ju2t the button2 my phone ii2 pretty much the 2hiittiie2t thiing ever and that'2 all there ii2 to 2ay about iit _

_Oh okay! 38)_

_what ii2 that 2uppo2ed to be 2ome 2ort of boob fii2h_

_H-EEH-EE! Boob fish? That's not a boob fish, sillybilly! 38D_

_2ure look2 liike a boob fii2h to me. the D ii2 the head and the 8 ii2 the boob2 and the 3 ii2 the taiil_

_Wow you're right it does kinda look like a boob fish! It's a smiley face with goggles and a crown! See? 38D 38)_

_oh yeah ii 2ee iit now. _

_Y-EAH!_

_2o have you talked to ed at all_

_Eridan? No… 38( He hasn't really tried to contact me, either, so yeah. I'm not sure._

_he 2eem2_

Sollux was unable to finish and send his text as yet another text vibrated his phone. He opened it.

_SOL_

_what_

_WWHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU_

_holy 2hiit mu2t you greet me liike thii2 every fuckiing tiime_

_SHUT UP SOL THIS IS A FUCKIN CRISIS I NEED YOU RIGHT FUCKIN NOWW WWHERE ARE YOU_

_dude ii'm iin fuckiing ariizona _

_WWELL FUCK YOU_

_what'2 your problem?_

_THE FUCKIN DIRECTOR OF PETER PAN THATS FUCKIN WWHAT_

_why what'd he do_

_HE DIDNT FUCKIN CAST ME _

_IN OTHER WWORDS THAT MIGHT GET THROUGH TO YOUR THICK LOWWLIFE SKULL_

_IM_

_NOT_

_FUCKIN_

_PETER_

_PAN_

_well yeah he'2 a make beliieve character of cour2e you're not fuckiing hiim_

_THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT SOL WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKIN TO ME LIKE THAT_

Ooh boy. He forgot his stupid double W. This was some serious fucking business.

_ju2t calm down_

_FUCK YOU YOU LOUSY ASSHOLE_

_dude ii warned you that you wouldn't get ca2ted. iif ii recall you were beiing a biitchy liittle diiva iin my truck 2everal week2 ago, braggiing that you were goiing to get that part for 2ure. you brought thii2 on your2elf_

_wwoww fuck you seriously i had evvery fuckin right to assume that i got the part because evveryone else fuckin blew at actin_

_yeah ii bet -.-_

_fuck you i sea straight through your stupid fuckin sarcasm haha youre so funny_

_see*_

_ii know. ii'm fuckiing hiilariiou2. _

_im flippin you off so fuckin hard right noww_

_2ound2 hot_

_IM FLIPPIN YOU OFF YOU ASSHOLE_

_hothothothothot_

_STFU_

There was a pause before Sollux's phone started to ring. Sollux smirked and picked up the call before bringing the phone to his ear.

"_STOP BEIN' AN ASS, SOL_!" screamed a shrill voice in Sollux's ear. Sollux jerked his head away to avoid getting his ears blown out by the walking megaphone.

"Jesus titties, it's not that big of a deal," Sollux sighed exasperatedly once Eridan had calmed down. "You have plenty more chanc-"

"_But_ _this w-was my v-very first chance to prov-ve myself to ev-veryone_."

Ffffuck. He was actually really upset.

"Oh, man. Dude, it's okay… uh…" Sollux stammered. He heard a loud, wet sniff on the other line.

"_It's f-fine. I guess I just needed to talk to someone about stuff. S-Since Fef's not here anymore_."

"I understand," Sollux said after a short pause. He rolled onto his side and lazily put his phone on his cheek so he could fiddle with the loose threads on his knit blanket. "But, like I said, you should've tried out for more than one part, you know?"

"_Y-Y-Yeah, but_-"

"You can't just automatically assume you're the best, you insufferable prick."

Another big sniffle.

"_But I really_-"

"_Eridan_."

Silence.

"You'll have more chances. And the next chance you take, you need to try out for everything. If there's anything I've learned from watching plays back in high school from the sound booth, the actors that tried out for almost everything got the bigger chance for a part."

Eridan was quiet for a long time, save for a wavering sigh.

"_You think so?_"

"Yes."

"_Alrigh'_," Eridan mumbled. "_That makes sense. Thanks, Sol_."

"Anytime."

"_I'm still… I'm still really_…"

"I thought the theatre community had both a musical and a straight play program…?"

"_Yeah. The music program is puttin' on _Les Misérables."

"Why not try out for that?"

"_I don't even like that musical, thou_-"

"That doesn't matter. What matters right now is getting yourself out there and building a reputation for yourself. You'll have to really give it your all since you lost some time with _Peter Pan."_

There wasn't an answer.

"Eridan?"

"_I'm here. Just thinkin'. Cod, lay off_."

"Wow."

"_I guess you're right. But… do you think you could… ya'know, help me out with practice?_"

"What do you mean?"

"_We usually get the script a couple days before auditions. An' if you could help, that'd be… ya'know what, never mind_."

"No no," Sollux said quickly. "I can help you with it. Like, give you my opinion and shit."

"_So_ _you'll finally get to see me act_."

"I guess so."

"_I win."_

"Shut up."

There was a semi-comfortable silence for a few moments, and Sollux prepared himself to say goodbye.

"…_Sol_?"

His voice had gotten soft, and Sollux shut his mouth again. He pressed the phone to his ear with both hands to hear what Eridan was saying.

"Yeah?"

"_When are you comin' home?_"

Sollux thought for a second. On the surface, he didn't give a second thought about how Eridan's voice sounded. But deep down, concern stirred in the pit of his stomach. He thought about asking what was wrong, but…

"I'm leaving on Saturday and I should be back up in New York at some point on Sunday," Sollux responded. Pause. "…Why?"

"_I don't know. I guess I wanted to see you is all_."

Sollux stared straight ahead of him, the words 'are you okay or not?' hot on his tongue.

"I'll be home soon," was all he said. It was quiet after that. "Eridan?"

There was a whimper on the other line.

"Eridan…" Sollux sighed, listening to the muffled sound of Eridan trying to either cover the phone or turn away as he sniffled and let out a few hiccupped sobs. "Did something else happen?"

"_N-No_…"

Sollux could tell from the hitch in Eridan's voice that he was lying, but he knew arguing would be futile.

"Well, don't cry then," Sollux said harshly yet gently. "Just relax. It'll be okay."

"_Hey… um… Sol…?_"

"Hm?"

"_Do you… do'ya think I'm disgustin'?"_

Sollux blinked and sat up in bed.

"No, of course not. I never thought you were."

"_W-Would you ev-ver… w-would_-"

Eridan began sobbing uncontrollably, and Sollux listened in silent shock.

"Eridan, is this about Feferi?"

"…_K-Kinda_…"

"I think," Sollux interrupted. Eridan quieted a little. "…she still cares about you."

"_W-What?_"

"Look, Eridan, I-" he began, scratching at the back of his neck. "I think you're interpreting her fight with you wrong. I don't think Feferi _hates_ you. Rather, I think she loves you. You know, in a brotherly-sisterly type of way. I mean, if you guys knew each other for like your whole life, then obviously her feelings for you are going to be something a lot more platonic than romantic."

The silence on the other line made Sollux nervous.

"But uh, she definitely cares about you, dude. You should take this chance and go out, meet some new people. And who knows? Maybe you'll find someone else. You know, plenty of fish in the sea and all, right?"

Sollux listened for the answer, but there was none.

"Uh, Erida-?"

"_You fuckin' bastard_."

"Wha- huh?"

"_You fuckin' bastard! You went and talked to Fef behind my back_!"

"Whoa! Hey, Eridan, I-"

"_How could you do that to me? I thought we were friends!_"

"We are, but Erid-"

"_You don't hear about me just w-waltzin' up to the fuckin' person you love an' askin' 'em a bunch a' stupid fuckin' personal questions_!"

"But I-"

"_I know-w w-who I lov-ve, Sol. An' you should trust me w-when I say it rather than believ-vin' a stranger you just fuckin' met!"_

"Eridan, shut your mouth, I kno-"

"_No, you don't fuckin' know-w!_" Eridan barked. "_You don't hav-ve a single fuckin' clue!"_

"I understand a lot more than you think!" Sollux shouted, raising his voice to avoid being interrupted again.

"_Then w-why are you surrounded by people who fuckin' lov-ve you? How-w can you understand w-when there are literally like fifty people w-who w-would take a fuckin' bullet just for you? How-w can you be so like me, yet you hav-ve so many friends?"_

"Because I _try_, Eridan."

"_No you fuckin' don't_," Eridan snarled. "_Obv-viously you don't try if you try to commit suicide like a fuckin' moron. You think you're alone, Sol, and you aren't. You really fuckin' aren't_."

Sollux shut his mouth for a second as Eridan continued to weep in his ear.

"Eridan, I'm… I'm sorry, okay? Me and Feferi weren't talking shit about you. We were just discussing what happened, okay? Don't cry, man…"

"_So it's true_," Eridan said bitterly. "_An' I bet she just told you a bunch of shit about how-w I don't even know-w w-what I'm talkin' about w-when I say I lov-ve her_."

"Well… I guess what she said made sense."

Mistake.

"_You're fuckin' terrible! Sol, I'v-ve know-wn this girl for a long, long time, and I think I w-would fuckin' know-w if I w-was in lov-ve or not!" Eridan shouted. "You hav-ve no fuckin' right to come into my life an' tell me w-who I lov-ve an' w-who I don't love! Fuck you!"_

Sollux flinched at the sheer volume of the last few words, then listened hopelessly as he heard the telltale _click_ of the phone being hung up.

"Jesus Christ," Sollux sighed, snapping his phone shut and letting it plop down onto the bed. He flopped back on the blankets and pillows and rested there for a few moments. Just as his thoughts began to clear and his eyelids began to droop, he felt his phone vibrate again. Cursing, he snatched it up and flipped it open.

_Sollux? 38(_

Oops.

_oh hey 2orry ff ii wa2 talkiing on the phone_

_That's okay! I'd understand it if you missed some of your FRI-ENDS! 38D_

_actually ii wa2 talkiing on the phone wiith eriidan_

_Oh I sea._

_See**. Stupid auto correct! 38)_

_Anyway, what did he say?_

_well he'2 really pii22ed that we talked._

_38( I was afraid you'd say that. _

_he ju2t chewed me out hardcore you 2hould've heard him_

_Was he um… stuttering at all?_

_ii know about hii2 2tutter and ye2 he wa2_

_Oh. Okay. Well, that stinks! Poor Eridan. I feel so bad._

_ii agree wiith you when you 2ay you feel 2mothered by hiim. iit'2 tiime to cut the umbiiliical cord. you 2houldn't feel bad._

_H-EE H-EE. You're right, I guess. I still feel bad. Are you being nice to him…?_

_a2 niice a2 ii can be to 2uch a 2tupiid priick_

_He really is nice! 38D When I was in elementary school, I was really small. But I was one of the smartest kids in the class, so I got teased a lot. Eridan, who already got bullied a lot for his stutter and what he looked like, defended me any time he could. Even if it meant getting pushed or shoved. He's still just as sweet and kind… he just has a bad way of showing it! _

_wow 2ound2 liike a 2cene 2traiight out of kk'2 2hiitty japane2e aniime2_

_H-EE H-EE H-EE! 38DD Is 'kk' your roommate or something?_

_yeah, karkat vanta2 you've probably heard hii2 loud a22 voiice. he'2 been my be2t friend 2iince miiddle 2chool_

_Oooooooh! Yeah, I've seen him around! He's in my Biology class!_

_oh 2o you've probably met jade too_

_38)… Yes, I have._

_are you friiend2 wiith them_

_Well… they always partner up together during projects, so I'm always kinda excluded. It's okay though, I understand! I just get paired up randomly. A boy named John has been talking to Karkat a lot recently, too, so I think I'll be able to partner up with Jade sooner or later!_

_jade love2 meetiing new people ii'm 2ure you'll do great_

_38) Thanks._

_np_

_But yeah, getting back on track here. Eridan's really a nice guy, you just have to get to know him a bit B-ETT-ER!_

_ehehehe now all thii2 talk about eriidan ii2 makiing iit look liike he'2 better than he actually ii2_

_Hm… maybe just a little. Eridan's pretty mean sometimes, but trust me, he truly is nice! Maybe not a saint, but he puts other people before him when it's necessary. To me, that's what makes him so likeable. It's a shame that not too many people know him and… I partially blame myself for being the *only* one there for him for his whole life, and not making him go out and get some new friends._

_ii told hiim the 2ame thiing and he had a hii22y fiit _

_Yeah… like I said he's just a little rough around the edges! He'll warm up to you a lot more sooner or later!_

_thank2 ff_

_No problem, 'bro'! 38)_

_hahaha_

_So when are you going to come home, Sollux? I'd really like to hang out and talk with you more!_

_ii'll be home 2unday ii think._

_Okay! See you later, then!_

_bye_

In the following couple days, Sollux made several attempts to contact Eridan, and to no avail. So he spent his time texting Feferi. He even called her several times. They instantly clicked. To him, Feferi was a friend he could go to without having to worry about romantic feelings. Everything was utterly platonic, and he thoroughly enjoyed it.

So when the time was right, and he felt like he trusted Feferi enough, he took a deep breath and told her he was gay.

There had been a long pause on the other line, a chuckle. Sollux felt his blood run cold at that, praying to whatever god was out there that it wasn't a chuckle that would ruin their friendship.

But the gods answered him, and Feferi only said 'Well I still love you just as much as I did before'.

And all was well.

* * *

><p>On the day that it was time for Sollux and Karkat to head out back east, packing went by slowly and without much conversation. Karkat and Sollux actually hadn't talked much in the past few days, as both of them had been preoccupied with someone on the phone. Now that Sollux had time to mull things over, he realized just how much Karkat had been on the phone lately. Concerned, he asked Karkat who he had been talking to, and he got a gruff 'None of your business' in response.<p>

Sollux spent the rest of the day in uncomfortably concern.

At noon on Saturday, the luggage was packed and ready to go, and Sollux and Karkat were moments away from boarding the flight. Mrs. Vantas and Sollux spent a very long moment in a tight embrace, to which Karkat responded with growls and groans galore. Sollux didn't much mind, though, because his mind was completely focused on not bursting into tears against his 'mom's' shoulder. Mrs. Vantas was strong for him instead, and she whispered into his ear to 'have good luck' and 'be positive'. When she told him that she loved him, Sollux took it straight to heart and used that to give him the strength to pull away from Mrs. Vantas and tell her that he loved her too. He got another tinkling laugh from her and a big kiss on both cheeks, and Karkat finally got to quickly one-arm hug his mom. Sollux could hardly watch - he had no idea how anyone could just give a one-armed hug to Mrs. Vantas.

And so, with a tearful wave and another round of kisses from Mrs. Vantas, Karkat and Sollux boarded the plane and set out on their long journey back home.

Sollux slept through most of it, bored out of his mind. The trip home felt much shorter than the trip to Arizona, and Sollux believed it had something to do with his therapeutic family vacation he had just taken.

So when they landed, he felt not at all influenced by the tiredness of jetlag. He was just about to suggest to Karkat that they go out and get real food when a blur of black and green and blue rocketed past him. A girl, clad in a long green overcoat that was too big for her, let out a peal of laughter as she flew into Karkat's arms and got spun around in the force of her forward momentum. She had dark skin and a head of black hair that was almost completely covered by a large blue kitty hat. It took a few seconds for Sollux to recognize her as Nepeta, Jade's roommate. He had seen her only a couple of times, mostly because she was rarely in her room during the days.

Confused, Sollux looked around and his eyes fell onto someone else standing nearby with his big, bodybuilder arms crossed over his chest. Like Nepeta, he had dark skin and black hair. He wore a black tank top and a pair of baggy, pinstriped shorts with tennis shoes, and _wow_ Sollux couldn't believe this guy wasn't cold in the winter air. Rather he looked rather warm and… sweaty.

Equius.

Sollux's eyes narrowed a bit, but before he could say anything about Aradia, there was a sound behind him. Curious, he turned.

And instantly regretted it.

Karkat's arms were wrapped tightly around Nepeta, their bodies pulled flush against each other. Her arms were around his neck and-

Sollux went rigid in horror.

They were kissing.


	21. Chapter 21

**Alright! Sorry for the delay, guys. The plan was to update with this chapter once my new beta reader got through the whole story and corrected any grammar/spelling mistakes. I've recently had a few complaints about several errors/plot issues in OHAC, and I was working to fix them with someone whose opinion differed from mine. Turns out that it is taking him longer than expected, so I proofread this chapter by myself! Hopefully any and all grammar/spelling errors have been caught, and you guys don't have to worry about it.**

**It has also been brought to my attention that a couple of you don't like the long dialogues/monologues/conversations between characters. While I believe this can be justified, I do not believe that it is an issue with OHAC. I mean... characters gotta talk if they want to build a relationship, right? So there will be no change in the amount of dialogue in the piece. I also got several complaints about texting and how much of it is done: I agree, and will shorten some of the text logs. And finally, the fact that it is sometimes hard to follow dialogue has also been brought up. Basically, some people had trouble telling who was speaking because I don't always put the standard "he said" "she said" behind dialogue. I have fixed that a bit, so it's a little easier to read and tell who is speaking when. Thank you to all of the tumblrites helping me with this piece - it's great practice for real world writing! :)**

**Enough blabbering. On with chapter 21!**

**Enjoy. :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 21]<p>

He wasn't going to cry.

No, he just lied there on his side on his bed as he curled tightly around Babbu, delving deep into his thoughts. His eyes were squeezed shut, his glasses folded neatly beside his head on the pillow, and his knees brought up to practically touch his forehead. Behind him, he heard Karkat moving around and putting luggage away.

"Sollux, stop fucking sulking. What's your problem?"

"You know _ecthactly_ what my problem ith."

Karkat let out a loud sigh.

"Look, I'm not about to change my lifestyle because you fucking _want_ me to. I couldn't stand feeling like I couldn't date anyone without hurting your feelings. You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Grow the hell up."

"Do you even _like_ her?" Sollux half-shouted, sitting up and glaring at Karkat with all of his might. Karkat, however, didn't look at him, instead opting to continue to look down at the clothes he was folding.

"Of course I do. Fuck off," he growled, turning away and folding clothes with more of a flourish than before. Sollux narrowed his eyes and swung his legs down onto the floor.

"Hm. And I'm sthure it'th got nothing to do with you trying to get rid of me, huh?"

"Sollux, shut the fuck up and put that fucking lisp away. I know you're faking it. What do you take me for, a moron?" Karkat asked harshly, looking halfway over his shoulder to give Sollux the evil eye. "You're pissing me off. Either get off your lazy ass and help me with these fucking chores, or so help me God I will throw you out of this fucking room. I've had it with your bullshit."

Sollux's eyebrows dropped into a steady glare before he jumped up from the bed and went to the opened luggage bag to fish out his jacket. He also made a point to grab his cigarettes while Karkat was looking, and he earned a snarl for it. With that, he turned, slouched, grabbed his keys from the key hanger, and marched out of the room. He slammed the door hard behind him.

Once outside in the hall, he roughly pulled on his jacket, his eyes closed and his face contorted to suppress the aching migraine that began to swell behind his eyes. Somewhere in the hall, he heard a noise, and he opened his eyes and looked over to see Nepeta and Equius making their way down the hall.

"Heeeeey, Karkitty's roommate!" Nepeta squealed, bounding up to Sollux. He had to look quite far down to see her face properly, but he only focused on her for a second so he could glance over at Equius. He stood a few yards away from them with his arms crossed over his chest. "Sollux, right?"

Sollux looked back down and nodded stiffly before shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and averting his eyes to the carpeted floor.

"We'll be seeing a lot more of each other from now on, Paw-llux!"

Startled, Sollux blinked and looked at Nepeta. She giggled.

"Just kidding!"

Sollux just continued to stare, and Nepeta frowned a little before clearing her throat. Her wide smile resumed.

"Well… okay, Equius, it's time to see Karkitty!"

Nepeta reached out and grabbed Equius's huge hand in her tiny one. Sollux reluctantly stepped out of the way for them to enter. Just before Equius disappeared into the room, he stopped and looked down at Sollux through his cracked sunglasses.

"You cause trouble for Nepeta, I cause trouble for you," he said in a slow, impossibly deep voice. Even through the black of his sunglasses, Sollux could feel the burn of his glare. "So if I were you… I'd just stay out of it."

Sollux stared evenly back up at Equius, who kept his eye on him the whole time before closing the door to Sollux and Karkat's dorm room. Sollux made a face and turned away from the door to walk down the hallway.

Once outside in the cold air, he pulled out his cigarettes and slipped a stick out of the box and into his palm. Holding it between his lips, he lit it and took a long drag before blowing it lazily out of his nose. Apparently the weather had been fluctuating for the past week in New York, and at the time it was wet and muddy, because all of the snow had melted and had been reduced into nasty gray slush. With every step Sollux took, he felt his worn Converse getting damp from underfoot. Great.

Stupid fucking Karkat. Fuck him and fuck the meteor he crashed in on. Fuck his stupid round head, fuck his messy hair, fuck his shoulders and his legs and his ass, fuck his chocolate eyes and his gruff voice and fuck his stupid fucking permanent caps lock on his phone. Fuck him. Fuck the way he walked, fuck the way he laughed, fuck his little nose and fuck his long eyelashes, fuck the way he pulled his hair back into pigtails when he worked on homework, fuck his…

Fuck his…

Sollux took a longer drag and held it in for longer than necessary. When he tried to blow it back out again, it got caught in his throat and he enjoyed a painful coughing fit that nearly sent him to the ground.

Fuck him for giving Sollux hope every time he just _looked_ at him.

Fuck him for being so perfect.

Sollux went to the nearest bench and plopped down on it, not caring that the metal felt incredibly cold on his ass. He covered his eyes with one hand, and the cigarette slowly burned and wasted away along with the happiness Sollux had accumulated over the course of fall break.

_But most of all, fuck himself for not being able to get over someone he could never even have._

His heel tapping the ground at an almost alarming pace, Sollux squeezed his eyes in his hand in hopes of crushing his stupid head. He threw his cigarette away from him as if it was a bomb, and with gritted teeth he tipped his head back and bit back the tears rapidly swelling in his eyes.

"…Sol?"

Sollux's head snapped up and there, several feet away, stood Eridan in the middle of the sidewalk. He was all bundled up in his fancy black felt jacket with the silver buckles, with purple mittens and a purple-and-black scarf and his purple plaid shoes and those stupid blue pants with the black pinstripes. On his ears was a pair of… earmuffs? No, those were big, bulky headphones. Oh yes, Skullcandy headphones. In purple, of course. Cradled in his arms were two brown paper bags.

Prince of Gay also bought a new pair of hipster glasses, Sollux noticed. He felt a slight twinge of… what, jealousy? Well yeah, he fucking _liked_ Eridan's normal sized glasses.

When Eridan seemed to finally register that it was Sollux, he jerked his head back a little as if he had smelled something particularly foul. He held the paper bags closer to his body, and the paper wrinkled loudly in the silence.

And then Eridan turned from him and speedwalked away.

_Wait. _

There was that stupid voice again, telling Sollux to actually say something when he knew he couldn't. God damnit. That stupid fucki-

"Wait!" Sollux blurted, jumping up from the bench and jogging after Eridan. In surprise, he almost grinded to a halt, but his legs acted of their own accord and he caught up to Eridan within seconds. Eridan sped up even more, and Sollux pursed his lips. "Hey, I said _wait_ you stupid crazy bitch!"

Not knowing what else to do, Sollux reached up and snatched the headphones off of Eridan's head. Eridan stumbled to a stop and nearly fell over.

"_Hey!_" he shouted in protest, whirling around and awkwardly grabbing at the cord to yank the headphones back. It didn't work too well, and Eridan nearly lost one of his bags.

"Let me have a listen," Sollux interrupted gently, not pulling hard but tugging a little at the thin wire to coax Eridan into letting go. "Just let me hear what song you're listening to."

Eridan narrowed his eyes and warily let the cord slip through his gloved hand. Keeping his eyes trained on Eridan, Sollux slipped the headphones on.

'…_etending he's beside me. On my own, he-_'

Sollux grimaced.

"Showtunes? Really?"

Eridan set his jaw and glared steadily into Sollux's eyes.

"It's from _Les Misérables_, asshole. What's it to _you?_"

"It's a girl's song. You're not going to try out with the girl's song, are you?"

Eridan's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"I'll have you know that I can sing any song off of that lousy soundtrack!" Eridan snapped, brows furrowing. "That song is the only one I like, now give me back my fuckin' headphones and leave me _alone!_"

"When you tell me what happened, I will."

"What do you mean-" Eridan began haughtily. His face blanked out for a moment and for a split second he looked at Sollux with shock. The expression left a second later, however, and he bared his teeth like some sort of mini shark. "Go _away!_"

Sollux was about to say something when he glanced to the left ever so slightly and saw a small group of guys and girls making their way down the sidewalk towards them. The way they were laughing loudly and pointing at them made Sollux nervous, and he slowly reached up and slipped the headphones off his head.

"That's right, Sol. Just slowly hand them over… that's it," Eridan urged condescendingly.

"Fa-"

Sollux fucking knew it. Without losing his composure or his poker face, he plopped those headphones right onto Eridan's head and pressed them to his ears, then prayed that they blocked out sound.

"-ggot!"

"What are you doin'?" Eridan asked with a hiss, trying to move out of Sollux's grasp. Sollux only held the headphones tighter. "Let go!"

While Eridan preoccupied himself with trying to struggle out of Sollux's hold, the group of college students went whooping and hollering by like a freight train, insults and laughs spewing from their lips. Apparently these guys and girls knew Eridan. And apparently they hated his guts, for whatever reason.

The jeers stung even though they weren't even directed at him, but Sollux kept his eyes locked on Eridan's, and over and over he mouthed '_look at me, keep looking at me'_.

And despite the scowl, Eridan did just that.

When one of the last guys reached out to shove Eridan, Sollux yanked him out of the way and instead was shoved himself. He stumbled sideways and pulled the headphones off as he did, but by that time the college students were already on their way, their loud guffawing echoing over the near-empty campus grounds.

"Those people are…" Eridan trailed off. Realization crossed his features. "What the fuck did they say?"

Sollux straightened, clenching the headphones in his fists. He remained quiet, silently brewing in his own anger.

"Sol, what the fuck did they say? Sol!"

"You don't want to know!" Sollux snarled, making Eridan jump a little and shut his mouth. Sollux rubbed his temples with his thumb and index finger. "You really fucking don't."

"…Are you okay?" Eridan asked after a moment of awkward tension.

"Fuck, dude, I'm fine. How about you? Are you okay?" Sollux asked, putting Eridan's headphones back on his head but lowering them so they hung around his neck, all nestled in his scarf. He forced Eridan to let go of one of his bags so he could carry it for him.

"I'm not the one who got pushed."

"I'm not the one they were making fun of."

Eridan hugged his bag tightly and looked down.

"…Oh."

"Have those assholes done that to you before?"

Silence.

Eridan took a wavering breath and looked up a little, still not looking Sollux fully in the eyes.

"Uh… can I tell you somethin'?"

"Of course, but how about we go back to your dorm?"

Eridan frowned but still didn't look up.

"I don't fuckin' want you in my dorm anymore, I'm still pissed at you," he huffed.

"Then we can stand out here and talk with heavy bags in our hands."

Eridan's nose wrinkled a little.

"And you can freeze your ass off for all I care, Eridan. _I'm_ toasty as fuck."

"Cod fuckin' _damnit_."

* * *

><p>"You can just set it down on the counter," Eridan said as he led Sollux into the dorm room and kicked off his wet shoes. "I'm gonna go change my pants, these're all wet."<p>

"'Kay," Sollux replied, slipping out of his own shoes while Eridan set his bag down on the counter and tiptoe-ran down the hall to avoid stepping on the soaked hems of his pants. Sollux watched with some amusement before stepping into the dorm and setting the bag in his hands down beside Eridan's. He peeled off his jacket and hung it up.

While waiting for Eridan, he went to check the bag he had carried himself. Inside was a bunch of groceries. There were several fruits; bananas, a little bag with bright red apples, a whole fucking mesh bag of Cutie brand clementines (Sollux rolled his eyes), and a single plum in a bag.

_Must be trying something new_, Sollux thought as he picked up the plum and pushed it aside to look deeper in the bag. Trail mix, gross. Carrots, gross. What the fuck were those, banana chips? God damnit, Eridan. Ew, Wheat Thi-

Holy.

Shit.

Sollux's eyes widened as they rested upon the Holy Grail of snacks.

Fucking Old London brand Melba Snacks.

Sollux sucked in air through his teeth in one long hiss. Sesame flavored. His favorite.

Fuck.

They were so damn expensive all the time, and Karkat never bought any because he was that much of a tool. But apparently Eridan bought them. He made it happen. _He made Melba Snacks happen._

Sollux's tummy was in love.

Ripping the box and the inner bag open, Sollux's hand plunged in and he stuffed three of them in his mouth, knocking his glasses askew in the process. He moaned and his knees went just a little weak. All of the sad thoughts plaguing his mind sort of just drifted away, the thought of Karkat becoming somewhat hazy as it was pushed to the back of his head. Part of him knew he'd get all emotional and whiney later, but the other part of him just basked in the happiness that just being in Eridan's dorm bro-

Sollux ceased chewing and swallowed hard.

Was he…

Was he happy because he was away from his normal life for the time being, or because he was away _at Eridan's dorm?_

Sollux absently looked at the nutrition facts on the side of the Melba Snacks box, stuffing his other hand in his pocket.

It was definitely the expensive snacks Eridan had. His stupid gold chocolate things, the fancy orange things, the Melba Snacks. Sollux's hungry-for-a-good-meal stomach agreed with the good food Eridan had most of the time. Well… now wasn't an exception, the guy had a bunch of health nut shit for groceries. Sollux made a note to ask him about it.

Sollux felt an ache in the pit of his belly, and he looked around at the dorm.

Or maybe it was because Eridan's dorm was so surreal - it felt like a place completely different from the campus. Unlike Sollux and Karkat's dump, and everyone else's shitty dorms, Eridan's was clean. Neat. Spacey. Organized.

Perfectly and obsessively organized like Sollux's computer desktop.

Sollux liked that.

But then again…

Sollux looked back down at the Melba Snacks.

Damn, he _really_ liked food. And organization. And Eridan's ass.

Oh, that was probably it. Eridan's rump made him pretty damn happy. Sollux nodded to himself in confirmation. Food, atmosphere, Eridan's perfect ass.

The perfect combination for a hungry geeky assman.

"Eatin' my food already, I see," a voice grumbled. It yanked Sollux out of his extremely important and critical thoughts, and he looked up just in time for Eridan to tear the box out of his hands and slam it down on the counter.

"Hey, I'm still hungry," Sollux said stupidly. Eridan rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know. Starvin' kids in Africa an' all that. Oh wait, just kiddin'. Just one starvin' dumbass in New York, right here in my kitchen. Poor, skinny _you_. There are fat chicks all around the world who would give you their bellies so fast your head would explode."

"Getting creative with the visuals today, I see," Sollux chuckled, smirking a little. Eridan mimicked his laugh and put on a ridiculous face to go with it. Next up was the middle finger right in his face, and that time Sollux couldn't suppress his laughter.

Eridan rounded the counter and pulled the bag he had brought in to the other edge of the counter so he could stand up on tiptoes and reach inside. Sollux lifted an eyebrow when a large bottle of expensive-looking vodka came up out of the bag. Next came the mixer for it, then another large bottle, and it looked like red wine.

"Where's the party?" Sollux asked wryly. Hugging his bottles, Eridan gave Sollux a look.

"In my fuckin' mouth, that's where."

"Where'd you even get it, Eridan? Damn."

"I have connections, Sol."

"And you're going to drink all of that?"

"Fuck yeah? Duh, alcohol is for drinkin', stupid."

"I meant that more like… are you drinking it all _tonight_?" Sollux asked, a bit more earnestly. Eridan frowned and looked down at the floor.

"Well… now that you're here I could probably spare a glass or two."

"Damnit Eridan, that's dangerous," Sollux sighed. His eyebrows wrinkled. "I thought you said you were gonna cut back on drinking."

"I never said that!" Eridan protested a bit louder than necessary. "I just said I wouldn't bring guys home anymore. An' besides, you should speak for yourself. You were goin' to Gam's house too, probably to drink."

"Yeah, and?"

"If you're anythin' like me, when you drink, you drink to forget."

Sollux didn't have a response to that. He backed down and didn't question it when Eridan set the bottles down on the adjacent counter and opened up a junk drawer to rummage around until he fished out a bottle opener.

"So you never told me why you were in Arizona in the first place," Eridan began, changing both the subject and the tone of his voice. "Doesn't your uncle live there? Were you worried about him?"

"No. He hasn't contacted me at all since… you know. I think the bastard is out somewhere. Probably gambling away all my college money in Vegas or something."

"Who'd you stay with, then?"

"Karkat's family."

Sollux plopped down on one of the barstools and watched as Eridan bent over and got out a blender from the lower cupboards. He was sure to get a healthy eyeful of Eridan's ass in his skinny jeans while he was at it.

"Oh, that's cool. Just goin' for some time away from school?" Eridan asked. His voice sounded slightly off, and Sollux rested his chin on his palm and squinted in an attempt to figure out what it was. It was a charming, almost automated voice. "Strawberry daiquiri, Sol?"

"Huh?" Sollux asked, once again brought out of his thoughts. "Oh, sure."

He watched as Eridan quickly got the ingredients together, then mixed it all together in a surprisingly fast manner. His blender definitely did the job, because within five minutes, Eridan was pouring a cup of the frozen drink and handing it to Sollux. Probably without thinking about it, Eridan ran his tongue up the side of the pitcher to catch the excess drink that was sliding down glass.

"But yeah," Sollux said after taking a swig. It was a lot better than he had expected it to be. And… _very_ strong on the alcohol. "Just for fall break and shit. I also saw a psychiatrist."

Eridan raised an eyebrow and leaned against the opposite counter as he swished his daiquiri around in his freshly poured cup.

"Really? Without permission from your uncle?"

"Technically I'm of age, and it was my decision to get it done in the first place. I just had Karkat and his mom there for moral support," Sollux said, raising his cup to his lips and looking over the rim at Eridan.

"Oh."

"Yeah. They wanted me to be told a bunch of things in private but… you know, I just thought that it'd be easier to just have the psychiatrist tell all of us together. I didn't want to have to explain a bunch of shit to them. I had a feeling I wouldn't want to repeat them. And Jesus Christ, was I right."

"Why? What was the verdict? Are you a fuckin' psycho?"

Sollux laughed into his cup before putting it down and swallowing.

"Just a bit. Got bipolar disorder, depression… and, uh, apparently I'm a schizo."

"I can see the bipolar disorder and depression," Eridan said after a slight pause. "But schizophrenia? No fuckin' way."

"I thought it was kinda weird too. Either they screwed something up or… I dunno. It's the doctor's office. They'll do anything to get money in their wallet."

Eridan snorted and nodded, looking towards his big window wall for a moment and just gazing blankly outside.

"Get that checked out. Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. Doctors ain't always right. You never really struck me as a schizo."

"I hear voices from time to time."

"Pff," Eridan scoffed. "That's called your conscience, genius. We all got one. If it ain't that, it's probably just your depression or somethin'. Sounds to me like this psychiatrist jumped to conclusions about your condition or some stupid shit like that and didn't even run proper tests. Get any scans at all?"

"A couple, I think."

"You think?"

"I don't remember much. I never really liked doctors so I try to block it out."

"Hm…" Eridan hummed. "Sounds like everyone's flippin' shit about your condition, Sol. If I were you, I'd tell everyone to just _calm the fuck down_. There's really no need to blow this shit out of proportion."

"You're a real asshole, you know that?" Sollux asked grimly. He smirked anyway. "I think I like it."

"Not an asshole, just honest," Eridan said, shrugging. "Everyone flips their shit over every single minor detail, an' they fail to see the good among the bad. Kinda like… like…"

"Rose's fanfictions?" Sollux asked, resting his elbow on the counter and propping his head up on his palm. Eridan nodded dramatically and pointed at him with his cup hand.

"Exactly! Like a _fanfiction_. They work that shit, man. Those storytellers. Work their fuckin' _asses_ off just for some… some fuckin' _scholar_ to jump up an' point out the one little mistake, an' before you know it the whole fuckin' world is about to fuckin' e'splode or some shit like that. Den dat writer is just all like… 'ffffuck. Now I gots'ta go an' write a whole Cod damn chappie _alllll_ about what jus' fuckin' happened'. Jus' to re-es'plain all dat happened in the last chappie! An' of course, all dat leads to is jus' a bunch of repeated details that no one gives a _flyin' rat's ass_ about es'cept dat _one person_. I mean, _Jeshush_. Have some fuckin' respect for -_hic_- those of us who actually _go out of the way_ to uh… fuckin' contribute to this shit for free, you know?"

"You little _shit_. You can't even hold your alcohol," Sollux chuckled, swishing around his hardly touched daiquiri. "How strong is this vodka, anyway?"

Eridan slammed down his empty cup and swung his head towards Sollux with half-lidded eyes and glowing cheeks.

"You… fffffuck on -_hic_- outta here," Eridan slurred. "I can hild my locker better than you _any_ -_hic_- day."

"'Hold my liquor'."

"…Huh?"

"You said 'hild my locker'. It's 'hold my liquor'."

"…Ffffffffffffffuck youuuu, ma-_hic_-nnn."

"Right. Anyway, you got real off track there with the fanfiction analogy. I thought you had something good going on, but you totally missed the point, dude."

"The _point_," Eridan began loudly, sobering up ever so slightly. He stumbled to Sollux's counter and slapped his palm down on the surface. "The _point_ is… you an' everyone else is jus' blowin' this shit out of the water. They're lookin' at the bad side a' you. What they fail to realize is, -_hic_-, you're a _reeeeal_ nice guy, Sol. An' you care about other people, obviously. I think you're jus' a normal plain ol' guy, jus' with some fucked up things in the past."

Sollux slowly put down his cup and looked up into Eridan's eyes, which had shaken off a little bit of the drunken haze and were looking clearly at Sollux.

"If I'm such a nice guy, why are you so pissed at me?"

"I stopped bein' pisshed at you when you fuckin' took a hit for me from thoshe assholes. I shouldn't have been mad, you're _shoooo_ amazing, Sol."

"Pff. Whatever," Sollux said, rolling his eyes. He looked back at Eridan when a clumsy hand touched his cheek.

"D'you un'erstand, though? That you shouldn't let shome stupid fuckin' people tell you who you are? An' that you shouldn't let labels make you _become_ that pershon?" Eridan asked softly. Sollux nodded once, never breaking eye contact.

"Yeah."

"Good. Glad we -_hic_- got dat shit cleared up. Let's move on to -_hic_- things that are _actually_ important here."

Sollux's eyes flicked down to Eridan's lips, which were hovering dangerously close. He swallowed.

"Like what?"

Eridan smiled dazedly.

"Like… how much I reeeeally fuckin' like you. I mean I… _like you_ like you, Sol."

Sollux had just enough time for his eyes to widen before Eridan grabbed a fistful of the front of his shirt, leaned way over the counter, and kissed him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Didn't want to leave you guys with a cliffhanger for too long!**

**Also... yes, I totally made a Hetalia reference in the last chapter. Totally intentional. Don't care if any of you hate Hetalia or anything, suck my dick, etc.**

**Thank you to _biichromatiic, 2iilenced-biirthday, timeanddivision, sanadaiinferno, gunsandwwands, maroonlowblood, ...hussiebot_ (xD yes Danny I even mentioned you), aeris7dragon, _saccharinesylph, ninjabakura_ (DEVIANTART), _cherryglare, dragimalsdaydreams, mokiakashyabitches, drherpderpphd, and faygohigh_ (COSPLAYER) for their lovely contributions in fanart! Love you guys!**

**EDIT:: Quick fix! Forgot a quotation mark just before Eridan goes off on his tangent about bullies. Sorry for any confusion!  
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**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 22]<p>

He didn't want to kiss back given Eridan's condition, but he was so surprised by the suddenness of the whole situation that it prevented him from being able to fight back.

Eridan pulled away with a small sigh, cherry lips parted and his strawberry-scented breath cool against Sollux's face.

"Shit," Sollux cursed, stumbling away from the counter and nearly falling over his stool. Eridan came around, using the counter to support his tipping body. From there, he practically pounced on Sollux. Hands clutching Sollux's upper sleeves, Eridan leaned forward again and nibbled on Sollux's bottom lip, lightly pulling the tender flesh with sharp teeth. His hands then trailed down Sollux's front and grabbed two giant handfuls of his shirt. He tugged Sollux towards him, then took a step back and tugged Sollux to him again.

Slowly, they inched back towards the bedroom. Sollux realized this after a few moments of blindly tripping after Eridan, and he picked up the pace and matched the movements of his feet with Eridan once he knew where they were going. Their kissing kicked up a notch and, before long, Eridan's body arched into Sollux's, his arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and his long fingers knotted in his hair.

Sollux couldn't tell when they entered the bedroom until they were already falling. Eridan hit the mattress with a muffled squeal, but their lips didn't part once, and Sollux ended up hovering over him on all fours. Eridan braced himself on one elbow as the other arm draped over Sollux's shoulders, and all the while he pushed up against him with each of his kisses. Sollux pushed right back, trying to get Eridan to lie back on the bed. They growled at each other, both straining to gain dominance.

Perhaps in an attempt to weaken him, Eridan whispered Sollux's name into his mouth. It only sent electricity ripping through Sollux's body, and he grabbed both of Eridan's hands in his and shoved them up and over his head. Eridan fell back and Sollux collapsed on top of him, legs entangling with his to prevent him from moving around too much.

Eridan was panting within moments, struggling to keep their lips connected as he tried to inhale a lungful of air between each kiss. Sollux pulled away to give him a chance to catch his breath. While Eridan spluttered and panted and made little needy sounds in the back of his throat, Sollux straightened and sat back on his hips, which he was shamelessly straddling.

"Shhhhit," Eridan hissed as Sollux yanked his shirt off and threw it across the room. It got caught on something in the semi-darkness and knocked it over, making Eridan's lips curl into a snarl.

"Sorry," Sollux rasped, reaching down to hike up Eridan's white V-neck with the 'Go Green!' symbol on the front. Eridan busied himself with feverishly grabbing at his scarf (why the hell did he even leave that thing on still?) and tearing it away from his neck. It fluttered to the floor.

Hunching over Eridan's flushed body, Sollux nipped and kissed his way up the center of his torso before veering left to give some much-needed attention to his ni-

Sollux's eyes caught on something big and black on Eridan's upper-right pectoral peeking out from underneath his scrunched up shirt. Sollux sat up abruptly, squinting at the mark.

"Mmmm, Sol?" Eridan asked, reaching up and hooking his hands on Sollux's shoulders. He hauled himself partway up. "What're you waitin' for, baby?"

"What is this?" Sollux asked, trying to push Eridan back so he could pull his shirt up more and get a good look at the black mark. "Eridan, come on, let go."

Eridan let out a moan right in Sollux's ear and latched onto his neck with a multitude of kisses and licks.

Then he sank his teeth into Sollux's collar bone.

"_Ow_, fuck!" Sollux yelped, shoving Eridan away from him. "Get _off!_"

Eridan fell back on the pillows, and he gasped and stayed down. Sollux took the chance to yank Eridan's shirt up.

He revealed a large, painful-looking black-and-blue bruise just below Eridan's right shoulder. His eyebrows knitted together. Eridan, meanwhile, let out a groan and covered his eyes with his forearm.

"What happened?" Sollux asked. Eridan's lips twitched.

"I fell."

"You don't get a bruise like this by falling, you fucking idiot. How'd you get it?"

Eridan's lip wibbled ever so slightly, and he covered his eyes with both hands. In an awkward act of courtesy, Sollux pulled Eridan's shirt back down and smoothed it out. However, he didn't make a move to stop straddling Eridan's hips.

"Come on, Eridan," Sollux sighed, reaching down and prying Eridan's hands away from his face. When he opened his eyes and gazed back up at Sollux, he could tell that Eridan had sobered up significantly.

"Y-You… you know those guys that passed us earlier?"

"Yeah."

"Okay… well… a couple days ago, they pretty much beat the shit out of me."

Sollux stared down at Eridan, his eyebrows drawing closer and closer together as the weight of Eridan's words began to sink in.

"They what?"

"Attacked me. I mean, they didn't do anythin' too terrible. It's jus'… well, you know those little decorative rocks by the front entrance to the campus?"

"…Yeah?"

"They were pickin' up handfuls of them and throwing them at me as I went by. An' you know, it wouldn't have been so much an issue if I didn't have all my books with me, an'… well, when I tried to run, one of them grabbed me an' ripped my coat, and I mean my really good coat, the brown one with the wool linin', an' they made me drop my books in a big fuckin' puddle… an' I don't give a fuckin' shit about them books because I can buy new ones an' shit, b-but you know, they had all my fuckin' notes in them and there's absolutely no fuckin' way I'll be able to mark up that much shit by the end of the semester, an' what if I fail, an'-"

"Shut the hell up," Sollux snapped, his anger not directed at Eridan. "If that's all you're concerned about, then you're a lot more of a fucking idiot than I thought. Are you hurt?"

"Fuck no. I mean, the rocks stung an' shit, but I'm not a pussy, Sol."

"That bruise is fucking huge."

"Nah. That one's the worse of them. I swear, that asshole could pick up a fuckin' boulder-"

"_Eridan!_" Sollux exclaimed. Eridan raised an eyebrow at him. "You were fucking _crying_ on the phone! They obviously hurt you a _lot_ more than you're letting on! Fucking _tell me!_"

Eridan shook a little.

"U-Uh… it was nothin' really, jus'…"

Eridan looked away and gritted his teeth, covering his eyes with his forearm again.

"This really fuckin' sucks. I swear to Cod I'm the only fuckin' good person left in the world, and I bet I'm not… I…"

"Did they say something to you?" Sollux asked, his voice becoming a bit softer. Eridan brought his bottom lip in a bit to chew on it.

"Jus'… um…"

"Spit it out."

"Fuck off, I'm gettin' to it!" Eridan growled, lowering his forearm to scowl up at Sollux.

"What'd they say, Eridan?"

"That… well, that I was disgustin' an' shit, an' I was sinful, an' not worthy of even bein' alive, an'… just really bad stuff."

"What the fuck?" Sollux asked loudly, his brow creasing so much that he was slightly worried that he'd pull something. "Do they know you're gay? What the hell?"

"I… I may or may not have flirted with one of 'em at one of Gam's parties," Eridan said almost sheepishly, cringing a little when Sollux threw his head back and smacked his forehead.

"Well, fuck, that'd explain it. Christ."

"They told me a couple weeks ago that they wouldn't tell anyone if I just gave them some money sometimes…"

"Money? How much?"

"…A hundred for the lot of them every other week or so."

Sollux snapped.

"Dude! Fucking _tell someone!_ Or at least, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"It's kinda hard to talk about, Sol!" Eridan barked, smacking his fist down onto the mattress. "It's fuckin' _embarrassin'!_"

"Well, whatever, why did they attack you the other day?"

"I didn't give them any money."

"Well fuck, of course they'd beat the shit out of you if you've been giving them money and then suddenly stop! Were you trying to play the hero? Eridan, what the _fuck?_"

"_You're_ the one who told me to stop carryin' so much money in my wallet! _You're_ the one who told me it was socially unacceptable or some shit! It's _your_ fault!" Eridan roared, his voice slightly slurred with alcohol and emotion.

"_Man_, if I had known the situation I'd-!" Sollux began in a shout.

"What? What would you have done? Would you have fuckin' told me to jus' keep givin' them money?" Eridan asked bitterly, narrowing his eyes. Sollux shut his mouth. Beneath him, Eridan crossed his arms and snapped his head away from Sollux. "Get the fuck off'a me."

Sollux paused before slipping off of Eridan's hips. Eridan sat up, but hissed as he did so. He bit his lip and slipped his hand down to the tent he was pitching in his pants so he could cover it. He brought his knees up and curled in on himself, closing his eyes briefly.

"Uh… do you need some private time?" Sollux asked after a long silence.

"Does that mean you don't want to help me with it?" Eridan muttered. He didn't open his eyes. "Too _disgusted_, huh Sol?"

"No," Sollux replied, sliding to the edge of the bed and getting to his feet. "I'm just glad we didn't go farther than that. The vodka's getting to your head and I don't want the alcohol to make a decision that _Eridan_ wouldn't want."

"How fuckin' noble of you. Thanks a lot for the boner, dickhead."

Sollux grimaced.

"Not noble. Just a normal guy looking out for the important people in his life."

Sollux scanned the floor for his shirt. When he found it, he stooped down and picked it up before tugging it on. When he noticed the prolonged silence, he looked over his shoulder at Eridan.

He was staring back at him, his fingers laced in his hair and his free arm wrapped tightly around his knees.

"I'm important to you?" he finally asked. Sollux shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I…guess? I mean… fuck, you kinda _have_ to be. Gotta make sure you don't tell people about my uncle," Sollux half-joked. The corners of his lips upturned ever so slightly. Eridan frowned.

"I already promised I'd keep my mouth shut about it."

"Well, you run your fat mouth all the time, so there's nothing wrong with double checking."

"_Hmph!_"

Sollux shrugged.

"It's true."

With that, Sollux turned to leave the bedroom to give Eridan a few minutes of privacy, but before he could even take three steps down the hall, there was a hand on his elbow. It pulled him back and turned him around to face Eridan.

"What?" he asked almost incredulously, praying that Eridan wasn't about to punch him in the face in his drunken stupor. Sollux was suddenly curious as to how much vodka Eridan had put in the God damned daiquiri thing in the first place.

"You're important to me, too," Eridan said dramatically, knitting his brows up at Sollux.

Well, jeez.

"O…kay?" Sollux said. "Thanks?"

"I'm serious as a heart attack, Sol."

Sollux and Eridan just looked at each other for a few prolonged seconds before Eridan finally released Sollux's arm and looked at the floor. Sollux leaned against the wall, his hands in their usual spot in his pockets.

"So uh… do you really like me, or whatever? Um… like _that?"_

Eridan nodded ever so slightly. Sollux let out a huge puff of air and ran a hand through his hair.

"Wow, uh… okay. Um, is that drunk Eridan speaking, or sober Eridan?"

"…Both."

"What about Feferi or whatever?"

"I love her."

"And you love me now?"

Eridan flushed bright red.

"Dude, I wouldn't go that far! I mean-" he sputtered. He put his head in his hand. "Cod damnit, what am I even sayin'? I meant it like…"

"A crush?"

"No, that sounds stupid!" Eridan exclaimed, blushing harder. "I just _like_ you, _okay?_"

"Well… shit, man," Sollux exhaled. He looked at the ceiling for a moment, clicking his tongue. "I don't know what to say."

"You could at least be flattered that I have feelin's for you!"

"Oh… uh, I am. I _am_ flattered," Sollux insisted. He put his hand over his heart for a moment to show that he was being sincere. "I just… don't really know how to respond."

"You don't have to," Eridan sighed. He crossed his arms. "I never expected my feelin's to be returned. I just wanted to tell you."

"Don't say that," Sollux said. He hesitated before awkwardly reaching out and patting Eridan's shoulder. "I still haven't even given you an answer yet."

Eridan smiled a little sadly.

"But do you feel the same way?" he asked, his voice full of skepticism. He raised an eyebrow at Sollux.

"I… no, I don't think so. Sorry."

Eridan shrugged.

"I expected as much."

"You okay?" Sollux asked. He dropped his hand from Eridan's shoulder. Eridan shrugged yet again.

"Sure. I mean, can't get 'em all, can you? I'm not about to throw myself at your feet and beg, you know."

"You still look upset."

"Well, of course I am. But as far as I'm concerned, this doesn't change much between us. I mean, how many times have we made out now?" Eridan mused, smiling a little. "Too many times to count."

Sollux laughed and turned so his back was rested up against the wall.

"Oh man, Eridan. We're fucked up."

"Nah. Just a couple'a lonely boys with romance troubles."

There were a few minutes of silence in which both men thought to themselves.

"So…" Sollux said after a while. "Why me? I'm not exactly the best guy in the world to date."

"You got that right," Eridan snorted. Then, he shook his head. "To be honest, I don't really know. Somethin' about you strikes me as interestin'. The main problem with my past flings or crushes or whatever you wanna call 'em was that they all bored me to death."

"So Feferi and I fit that bill?"

"Hm… sure, I guess. But in vastly different ways. Like… Fef's pretty an' smart an' kind, an' she has this huge heart. My love for her is uh… strictly emotional, yeah. I'm not physically attracted to her, ya'know?"

"So if you were in a relationship with her, there wouldn't be any sex?" Sollux asked, cocking an eyebrow. Eridan wrinkled his nose.

"No… no, of course not. I think havin' sex with her could be against the moral fibers of my bein'. An' secondly… vaginas are just… _no_."

Sollux threw his head back and laughed.

"Can't handle pussy?"

Eridan cringed and visibly shivered.

"Ugh! Don't call it that ever again! I _hate_ that word!"

"Jeez. If you got any gayer, you'd be straight."

"You're gay too, asshole!"

Sollux grinned and reached out to muss up Eridan's hair. Eridan flinched but didn't pull away, instead reaching up to grab Sollux's hand and shove it away.

"So, Eridan. How are you attracted to me?" Sollux asked, his voice dropping to a lower key as he looked straight into Eridan's eyes. Eridan just gave him a disgusted look.

"Get that fuckin' smolder off your face," Eridan muttered. Sollux's face broke into a wide grin.

"Heh. You really hate that face, don't you?" Sollux teased. Eridan batted his eyelashes at him.

"I don't hate it at all. I _love_ it, that's the problem."

"Ooh," Sollux whistled. He wiggled his eyebrows. "I see."

"Arrogant asshole. Since you're so curious, all you need to know is that my attraction to you is definitely physical. As if I could fall _completely_ head over heels for someone like _you_," Eridan grumbled before coming forward to push Sollux into the wall and lean up against him. In extremely close quarters, Sollux could see each individual angle of his jaw and the little dimples in his cheeks. He could see his long eyelashes, the somewhat chapped skin of his parted lips, and the surprisingly masculine structure of his face…

"Let me think about it," Sollux said. Eridan blinked.

"Huh?"

"About your… feelings. Are you looking for an official relationship with me or something?"

Eridan's cheeks got a little pink.

"W-Well, as if I would-"

"Are you?"

"_Well!_" Eridan blurted, burying his face in Sollux's shoulder. Sollux took him by the hips and brought him in a little closer. "Of course I'm wantin' _somethin'_, I mean… why tell you if I didn't?"

"Give me some time then, okay?" Sollux asked. "Please? You know about the whole situation with Karkat, and… well, I can't just suddenly force myself to like or love just anyone else on a whim like that."

Eridan looked up from Sollux's shoulder, his eyes sparking a little but the rest of his face impassive.

"That's quite the ironic statement, comin' from you, Sol."

Sollux just stared for a moment before he realized what Eridan was implying, and he set his jaw in slight embarrassment.

"It's ironic for _you_ to call me out for that statement."

"Touché."

Sollux let out a long sigh and tipped his head back against the wall.

"I don't know what to do, Ampora. I'm never gonna get out of the friendzone."

"Well, at least it's another guy an' he probably has a different reason not to date you… he's not gay. Fef's a woman, I'm a man, she likes guys. This really hurts my manly ego, you know."

Sollux laughed a little.

"But man… come on. Seriously, just think here for a second. How can you be gay _and_ attracted to a chick? It's like… an oxymoron."

"I can't explain it. Explaining how I feel for Fef would be like tryin' to explain love itself."

"Love," Sollux snorted. "I'm over it."

Eridan leaned in a little closer.

"You don't have to be."

"You smell like strawberry alcohol," Sollux murmured absently. Eridan smiled a bit.

"Do you like it?"

"…Yeah."

"Do you like _me?_"

Sollux paused, reaching up to twirl a lock of honey-colored hair before brushing it behind Eridan's ear.

"Honestly? Yeah. But I don't think I like you the way you like me… or at least not now."

"So you'll give me a chance, Sol? Will you consider it?"

Sollux's lips quirked just a bit as he watched Eridan lean in for another kiss.

"Sure, why the hell not?"


	23. Chapter 23

**ERIDAN'S CHOICE ASS CONTEST!**

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><p>[Chapter 23]<p>

They spent the rest of the day curled up on either end of Eridan's couch. Eridan worked on his homework while Sollux made a few comments here and there while watching T.V. As the hours ticked by, Sollux began to grow restless and got up to once again raid Eridan's kitchen. He got a light scolding for it, but Eridan offered him Melba Snacks and bar cheese anyway.

Sollux ate the whole box.

And half a bag of grapes.

He got chewed out for it something fierce, but Eridan didn't seem to be truly mad at him. Rather, he offered Sollux even more food, and Sollux ate and ate until he was full and happy and warm and drowsy.

Back on the couch, they ended up closer together and, with just a glance, Eridan scooted to Sollux's side of the couch, yawned, and leaned up against the armrest so Sollux was lounging right behind him. Sollux casually draped his arm over Eridan's waist. Eridan settled into him, sighing. They silently got back to their activities, trying hard to ignore one another but failing miserably.

Finally, unable to handle his curiosity, Sollux shut off the television and stooped his head to rest his chin on Eridan's shoulder.

"Whatcha working on?" he asked, looking down at the paper on which Eridan was writing.

"Music theory," Eridan replied, turning the paper a bit towards Sollux so he could see it properly. Sollux raised an eyebrow at the gibberish all over the paper. He recognized music notes, and that was about it.

"Looks dumb."

"It's not! You know, if transposin' music didn't exist, everythin' would be pretty borin'. Like, without transposin', a bass couldn't sing somethin' meant for a soprano, an' an alto saxophone couldn't play somethin' meant for a French horn."

"The hell? Alto saxophone? Is there like… a tenor saxophone?"

"Mhm."

"What the _fuck_ is the point of that?"

"You don't know nothin' about music, do you?" Eridan asked, laughing a bit. Sollux grimaced.

"I assumed there was just saxophones and clarinets and pianos and shit and that was it."

Eridan threw his head back and let out a loud laugh, his head resting upon Sollux's shoulder. The fact that he was making someone else laugh made Sollux smile a little, and he lifted his hand to put it on the dip of Eridan's waist.

"If that was the case, half the stuff you hear in concerts an' shit would be exactly the same. Same instruments, different sounds. It's what makes music wonderful. Here, look. This is the melody for the French horn, right? Well, we need to transpose it down three half steps. So we have to change the key signature, an' then rewrite the notes, sans the accidentals…"

Sollux's brow creased. What the fuck was this wizardry…? What in God's name…?

"Dude," Sollux groaned. "Whaaaat…?"

Eridan laughed again, even harder than before.

"No, no, listen, Sol. Cod you're dumb. Look, you gotta move the key signature down because this one is in bass instead of treble. You see the si-"

"_Yoooooooo!_" Sollux yelled randomly, making Eridan jump. Then, Eridan was practically falling over himself laughing. He put his elbow on the armrest and buried his face in his arm. Sollux snorted and chuckled a little, too. He kinda felt dumb.

It wasn't like he _liked_ making Eridan laugh or anything.

"Nooo, look at it you fuckin' idiot. Look, it's easy. You just draw the note an'… an' then you gotta draw the stem of the note down instead of up because it's on the top half of the staff," Eridan continued to explain between fits of giggles. Pretending to be flustered, Sollux let out a loud groan and Eridan tossed his head back once more to let out more guffaws.

Then he let out some sort of fucked up snort-squeal thing, and he slapped his hand over his mouth and laughed harder when his binder and all of his papers slid out of his lap and tumbled to the floor. Sollux's face broke into a huge, dorky grin.

"You snorted!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking. Eridan jerked and squeezed his eyes shut, leaning forward as he laughed harder and harder.

"Your voice cracked!" he practically wailed, and tears started running down his face.

"But _you_ snorted!"

"I did not, Sol!"

"I fucking heard you!"

"No! _No_, shut up!" Eridan snapped jokingly, slapping Sollux's hip. He wriggled out of Sollux's grasp and shot to his feet, hopping over the papers strewn all over the floor. He held his stomach and gestured for himself to calm the fuck down. He took a few wavering breaths, and each one was peppered with little half-snorts and coughs.

"Holy shit," Sollux choked, still laughing a bit. He looked over the edge of the couch and laughed even more at the papers all over the floor. "_Hoooooooly_ shit."

"Fuck, I'm _cryin'_," Eridan rasped, fanning his eyes with his hands. "Oh _Cod_. That wasn't even that _funny_, man."

"I was laughing at you laughing," Sollux chuckled.

"I was laughin' at _you_ laughin'," Eridan countered. He cleared his throat as he came forward. Sollux was about to sit up and lean over to help Eridan pick up the papers when Eridan accidentally stepped on another piece of paper and slid a couple inches forward. It was enough to startle him, because Eridan yelped and flailed his arms.

Sollux watched the whole thing go down in rapid motion, and it was so fast and so unexpected and just _one of those things that someone would have to witness to actually find it funny _that Sollux just fucking lost his shit. He laughed so hard that he couldn't breathe, and he just rolled off the couch and flopped to the floor. Eridan, who had begun to laugh again as well, just sank to his knees and knelt beside Sollux.

"Jesus Christ, are you still drunk?" Sollux croaked when he was finally coherent again.

"D'unno," Eridan replied. "Don't really care, either. I'll leave it to your interpretation."

"I bet you're wasted," Sollux scoffed, resting his arms behind his head as he just lounged on the floor on the bed of Eridan's music theory.

"I wouldn't go that far."

They were quiet for a couple minutes before Sollux spoke up.

"Wanna makeout?" Sollux asked as if he was talking about the weather. He raised a questioning eyebrow. Eridan blinked at him before smirking a little.

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"Well, we're not dating, right? I'd like to keep any spit-swappin' to a minimum. If an' when you decide to date me, then I'll _definitely_ reconsider your offer. But until then, the _occasional_ sloppy makeout session is welcome. Just not… somethin' I wanna be doin' twenty-four seven. Wouldn't want you to get sick of me, right?"

"As if I could get sick of you," Sollux sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "If it's any consolation, you're sexy as hell and I'd date you in a heartbeat if it wasn't for… you know, all the shit happening right now."

Eridan blushed a little and unfolded his legs out from underneath him before drawing his knees up to his chin.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Eridan buried his face in his knees, the tips of his ears shining bright red.

"I like kissing you a lot," Sollux said simply, shrugging. "And that's all there is to say about that. And hanging out with you is pretty damn relaxing, not going to lie. It's like a break away from all the bullshit going on with Karkat. He got a girlfriend, you know."

"Really?" Eridan asked, tilting his head and resting his cheek on his forearm. "Who's his girlfriend?"

"Some black chick named Nepeta."

"Oh, Nepeta Leijon? The one that likes cats or whatever?"

"I think so."

"Hangs out with this big dark guy wherever she goes?"

"Yeah! That Equius guy. My ex cheated on me with him, you know."

"Jeez," Eridan grunted. "That sucks."

Sollux nodded.

"And I just… can't help but think that Karkat doesn't really like her or something! Part of me thinks he was just doing it to shake me off and I… just… _man_. You know what I'm saying?"

When Sollux looked up, Eridan was just gazing down at him with an impassive look on his face.

"Oh. Sorry, dude. I didn't mean to spill everything right on you. I just needed someone to listen to me rant."

"It's fine," Eridan said after a short pause. "If anythin', I'm glad you're trustin' me with this stuff."

"Haha."

"…Hey, Sol?"

"Mm?"

"You know you can talk to me about whatever, right?" Eridan asked slowly. "I'm always here to listen. Hard to believe, I know."

Sollux just looked up at Eridan for a couple seconds, then turned onto his side so he was facing Eridan. He scooted closer so he was practically curled around his feet.

"Thanks," he said softly. He felt a hand stroking his waist, and with each touch a shiver went up his back. He let out a low sound from deep in his throat and curled in closer.

And there they were, having a feelings jam right on a pile of homework. Yup, typical college boys right there.

"Hey, look!" Eridan suddenly exclaimed. Sollux snapped his head up and looked around.

"Wha-?"

Eridan pointed somewhere behind Sollux, so Sollux rolled onto his back and followed Eridan's pointing finger to the window.

Oh, it was dark outside. When had that happened?

"What is it, Lassie?" Sollux asked sarcastically. He earned a slap on the hip for it.

"You know, I bet the stars are showin'. C'mon, Sol."

Eridan jumped to his feet and hauled Sollux with him, then grabbed him by the wrist and led him towards the window.

Sure enough, up above in the sky hung thousands of tiny stars. Each and every one of them twinkled down at them, and the cloudless sky allowed for optimal viewing of the shining lights.

"Oh man," Eridan whistled. "It looks fuckin' awesome out there."

"Just a bunch of stars, dude."

"Shut the hell up, stars are fuckin' sweet!" Eridan snapped, jabbing Sollux in the ribs with his elbow. "Wanna go up and see 'em?"

"Huh?" Sollux asked. Eridan held up a finger and dashed away and down the bedroom hallway.

When he came back, he had something long and narrow slung over his shoulder.

"The hell is that?" Sollux asked.

"Telescope. It's Fef's. When she left, she forgot to take her old telescope with her. Probably because she has her new one. She loves the stars an' shit, so she's always outside lookin' at them. I kinda picked up on it after a while."

"You are so much more of a nerd than I thought you were," Sollux sighed. He rolled his eyes, but went to Eridan anyway. "Alright, fine. Lead the way, Ampora. I'll go on a romantic stargazing date with you."

Eridan punched him in the shoulder but didn't have anything else to say. They both went to the front door, put on their shoes and their coats, then headed out and down the hall. Eridan took them to the elevator, then pressed a random pattern of buttons.

"Whoa, what'd you do?" Sollux asked as they began to rise. Eridan smirked.

"Fef's a sweetheart. She got the administration to teach her how to get to the roof."

"The roof, huh?"

"Mhm."

When the elevator stopped and opened its doors, Eridan and Sollux were greeted with a sharp gust of wind that made Eridan cringe.

"Is it safe to be up here?" Sollux asked, loud enough to be heard over the whistling of wind in his ears. Eridan nodded, squinting slightly against the cold.

As they stepped off the elevator, the wind died down a bit so they could at least function. They stepped behind an air conditioning unit so most of the wind blew right over them instead directly on them.

"Okay, let me get this set up real quick," Eridan said. "Try not to bore yourself to death. This is fun for me, so just deal with it."

"Ugh," Sollux groaned. "I don't believe in all this religious, astrology, or whatever. It's just a bunch of empty promises."

"Havin' a belief in somethin' is an empty promise?" Eridan asked rhetorically. "It's not as much about the promise as it is about just… havin' somethin' to believe in and trust in."

"Why trust something that isn't there?"

"Pff, I don't know why religious people believe it, either," Eridan snorted, shrugging. "I'm not really religious, either, Sol. Get off my ass about it, Cod."

"What do you believe in, then?"

"I believe that we were all put here for a reason," Eridan said. He looked up at the sky as he placed the telescope. "I mean, if there wasn't a reason for being here, why would Earth be placed where it is? Why is Earth so perfect? If it was a mile or two off from where it is now, would we be here?"

"Adaptation," Sollux sighed. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rolled his eyes again, his voice becoming monotonous and scientific. "We adapted to this place as we evolved over time. That's why it's so 'perfect'. It's perfect for us and us only."

Eridan groaned a little.

"Cod, you're so fuckin' negative, Sol. Anyway, the point is, I believe that we all have a purpose. Before we die we gotta do somethin' big. An' that big thing could be somethin' _real_ big, like discoverin' the cure for cancer. Or… somethin' small. Like fallin' in love and changin' someone's life forever."

"Sounds like a fucking jolly old time. Mind if I smoke?" Sollux asked. Eridan shook his head, so Sollux grabbed a cigarette out of his jacket and lit up.

"I'm serious, Sol."

"Okay," Sollux grunted around his cigarette. "Look, Eridan. Look up at the fucking sky."

Sollux turned away and pointed up at the stars, gesturing to show just how big it was.

"We're just one tiny little planet amongst trillions of other stars, billions of solar systems, millions of galaxies and probably even _more_ than that. We're two people among seven _billion_. We're so God damned small, who gives a fuck about us?"

Sollux turned back around and put his cigarette back in his mouth.

"The lives we live are pointless. We're plopped down on this shitty, deteriorating planet. We follow the rules, we pay taxes, and then we fucking die, Eridan. It doesn't _matter_ if we have a purpose. The guy who discovers cancer is going to die, too. Who gives a shit if we're all going to be gone in the end, anyways?"

"It's not about us, Sol," Eridan said, leaning lightly against the telescope. "It about the changes we make now for the people in the future. All of us are fightin' selfless battles. Not for ourselves, but for the people followin' us."

"Nobody's done shit for me," Sollux scoffed. "Why contribute to anything if I don't get anything out of it? If the generation before us contributed so much, had this 'purpose' or whatever, then why was I born into a shithole? Mom doesn't give a fuck, Dad's dead, and don't even get me started on Kenneth."

Sollux ended up speaking more heatedly than he had intended to. He put his head in his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. Eridan watched him silently.

"You don't believe in _purpose_, Eridan," Sollux muttered. "You believe in a romanticized version of karma. But, the truth? It doesn't matter if you get good grades or if you obey your parents. It doesn't matter if you try to be nice, you're still going to get fucking teased for the braces in your mouth that you can't even fucking help. It doesn't matter how much you cry at your own dad's funeral. It doesn't matter if you were too young to even know what your dad looked like, you were just old enough to know that shit sucks and you gotta cry and… and your mom is still going to _fucking_ blame you just because you were in the same car, and-"

Eridan was staring at him. Sollux let the wasted cigarette slip out of his fingers. He stamped it into the cement, then pulled out another and lit up again. For a moment, the strain in his eyes was illuminated by the flickering light of the lighter.

"The only purpose we have here is to fuck everything up and die," Sollux mumbled. "And there's not a thingle… _single…_ perthon that can tell me- fuck, _person_, I-"

"She blames you?"

Sollux looked up at Eridan, who looked back at him expressionlessly.

"I… I- fuck, man, I don't fucking know," Sollux groaned. He ran his hand through his hair. "She always goes off on how 'he was such a good driver', 'he was such a good driver'. He was a fucking pilot, you know. A pilot for the Air Force! Fuckin'… he did shit for the Air Force, had some fucking medals and everything. Did criminal investigations. My mom said this shit over and over and _over_, and she fucking drove herself into depression and she just stopped caring, and I-"

Sollux cut out again. He knew he had to shut his fucking mouth, but he couldn't stop the words from pouring out.

"And it's _my fucking fault!_" Sollux blurted. "_I_ was in the car with him, and Mom knows it, and I know she thinks it's my fault, I _know_ it! I must've been crying or some stupid shit, crying and being an obnoxious little asshole. I must've… distracted my dad or something, and then he… he…"

"Sol," Eridan said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"I didn't even know him," Sollux continued. "I wasn't even old enough to know what he _looked_ like in person. I've seen pictures, but… Mom got rid of those before I could really study him. A great man died, and it was all my fault."

Sollux swallowed hard and scrunched up his face for a moment to get rid of the lump in his throat. He glared at Eridan.

"So don't tell me I have to give _more_ to the world. Fuck it. I've already given my dad, my hard work, and my love for my mom and for Karkat. I don't get _shit_ back for it. I'm _done_ believing in pointless shit like life."

"At least you know who they are," Eridan said lowly. His eyebrows dropped into a scowl. "My dad fucked anyone he wanted, an' one day he answered the door an'… well, there I fuckin' was! All wrapped up in the arms of some woman who didn't want me. Dad didn't have the fuckin' courtesy to wear a fuckin' condom, so he gets this little baby that he didn't even want. An' I never see that woman again. Too young to even know what she looked like. Black, white, Asian, Scottish, Irish, American? I don't fuckin' know. The only reference I have is _myself_. Be glad you at least had parents who loved you and actually wanted you, an' had the fuckin' _decency_ to stick around. Or at least stick around to see you be successful. It sucks to know that a parent walked out on you, I fuckin' know. You know what sucks worse? When you know your dad loves you, but not as much as the whores in Scotland."

Eridan clenched his fists.

"It fuckin' sucks, Sol, but I can somehow keep my chin up an' stay optimistic. Bein' negative an' shootin' down anyone who doesn't agree with you isn't goin' to make everyone pity you. You can't give up an' expect everyone to feel bad for you. You gotta make somethin' with your life, find a purpose, Sol. Because trust me, there are _some_ people who have it just as bad or even worse than _you_."

Sollux watched as Eridan bit his bottom lip and backed down, folding in on himself a little. He spit out his cigarette and scuffed it out before coming forward. Keeping one hand in his pocket, he reached up and hooked his other hand on Eridan's neck and drew him closer. He held his head to his shoulder, lightly scratching his scalp just above his neck.

"I'm sorry. You're right," Sollux hushed softy. Eridan buried his face in the crook of his neck, and Sollux pretended not to notice when he heard a few sniffles. He swayed a little when Eridan clutched at the front of his jacket and pulled a little to drag Sollux in as close as possible.

"Don't ruin the tiny bit of hope I have left," Eridan whispered into Sollux's neck. "It's all I have."

"I know. I won't. I'm sorry," Sollux coaxed, nuzzling the shivering boy's neck. "Sometimes I forget that not everyone feels as hopeless as I do."

"You're not hopeless."

"Yeah I am."

Eridan looked up just in time for Sollux to kiss the side of his eye.

"But Sol, you're really not-"

"Let's see those stars," Sollux interrupted firmly, kissing the side of Eridan's eye one more time. Eridan sniffed once and looked up, and Sollux quirked his lips at him. "Come on."

Eridan paused before wiping his nose with the back of his wrist and composing himself.

"Okay," he croaked, leading Sollux to the telescope. He looked into it and positioned it for a moment, looking for something. "Okay, Sol. Look."

Sollux stooped down and looked into the telescope.

"See the bright group of stars? An' do you see the shape? That's my star sign, Aquarius."

"Yeah, I see it. It looks pretty cool."

Sollux straightened again. Even though he was faking most of his interest, he couldn't help but to smile back at Eridan when Eridan smiled widely at him.

"See? I told you it isn't that bad. What's your Zodiac, Sol?"

"…My Zody-_what?_"

"Ugh. Your _Zodiac_. When's your birthday?"

"June third."

"Okay. Then you're a Gemini. Let me show you."


	24. Chapter 24

**Alright guys, here's 24! A bunch of you probably read chapter 24 already on tumblr last night. Yesterday, FFnet's login was down, so only the tumblr version of OHAC updated while the FFnet version remained unposted. Luckily for you crowd, in the downtime while my internet was down, I cranked out chapter 25 like a boss. It will be up and ready for you to read before you're even finished with this chapter!**

**EDIT:: Accidentally uploaded the wrong save file. Uploaded new one.**

**_**Minor trigger warning**_  
><strong>

**Enjoy! :)**

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><p>[Chapter 24]<p>

He spent the night that night. It had been difficult to convince Eridan to let him, but after some rather _persuasive _lines had been uttered into Eridan's _very _red ear, he had been allowed to crash there for the night. Alone. In Feferi's old room. It had been renamed to the guest bedroom for Eridan's sake, as he tended to get tearful whenever he so much as thought about Feferi's name.

So Sollux woke up the next morning not even knowing where he was. His eyes slid open to reveal a white ceiling overhead. Stuck to it was quite possibly _hundreds_ of those stupid little glow-in-the-dark stars, which had been quite a distraction for Sollux the night before.

"Mmm," he moaned as he sat up. The sheet slid off of his bare chest, and he was reminded that he had kicked off his clothes in the middle of the night.

He was one hundred percent positive that Eridan had turned up the heat to ninety degrees the night before.

Thankfully, he was still in his boxers. He had nearly just taken those off too so he could sleep in the nude like he usually did when he had the privacy. However, he had the decency not to, as this was definitely _not_ his bed.

Swinging his legs to the floor, Sollux yawned and cricked his back one way by twisting his body, then repeated the process in the opposite direction.

And that's when he heard _his_ voice.

It was quiet at first, building into something bigger and bigger and bigger until Sollux could hear him clearly. It was a clear, ringing voice, something that seeped right through the walls and to Sollux's ears. He didn't know it was Eridan at first, because each note was so perfectly on pitch.

Sollux stood and went to the door. He opened it, and was greeted with a huge wave of sound. He stood and listened in awe, not even registering the words. All he heard was Eridan's voice and how amazing it was.

It felt like he was standing there, in a trance, for hours. He was only snapped out of the daze when the singing abruptly stopped. There was a pause, then a door opened and closed somewhere in the dorm. Sollux ducked back into his room and shut the door as quietly and as quickly as he could, and was able to shut it just in time for footsteps to walk past and into Eridan's room.

Sollux stood there for a moment, just gripping the handle to the door and listening. He didn't hear singing again, so he slowly opened the door and peered out into the hall. Nobody was there, but Eridan's bedroom door was open just a crack. Curiosity got the better of him and, with baited breath, Sollux tiptoed out of his room and snuck to the bedroom door to peer inside.

It was Eridan all right. He was in the center of his room, facing away from Sollux. His hair was damp and his shoulders pink, as if he had just gotten out of the shower. He was shirtless, but he had one of his scarves already wrapped around his neck. Hanging loosely around his hips was a pair of black skinny jeans.

Which were placed just under the globes of his ass.

Said ass globes were clad in a pair of black briefs with a purple Aquarius symbol right in the center. They rode pretty damn low on his hips, and it just barely covered three fourths of his ass. The other fourth…

_Mmm_.

He was checking his phone while he hooked one thumb on a belt loop to keep the skinny jeans up on his legs, his hip slightly popped to the left. Sollux swallowed hard.

Eridan tossed the phone to his bed, then swept his wet hair to the side before reaching down and tugging up the pants.

Damn. Damn. _Daaaaaaamn_.

Sollux bit his lower lip and reached out to grip the door handle.

He didn't expect it to creak.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, Sollux could only go rigid and stare as Eridan whipped his head around and looked over his shoulder. Their eyes met and Eridan instantly broke into a smile.

"Well hello there," he said after a slight pause, not moving to pull up his pants all the way. "In or out?"

Sollux choked, flustered.

"Um…" he trailed off. He shut his mouth to block the inhuman noises coming from his stupid throat.

Smooth move, fucktard.

He stepped in and closed the door behind him before leaning up against the bedroom door and putting his hands behind his back. Eridan's eyebrow twitched and he turned away from Sollux again.

"How'd you sleep?" Eridan asked casually with a bit of a mischievous undertone to his voice. Sollux bristled in irritation, but his eyes simply could _not_ look above Eridan's waist.

"Uh… uh, good," Sollux replied. He cleared his throat.

"That's nice."

"It was uh… a little hot last night, though."

"Yeah, it tends to get a little-" Eridan paused for a moment. With a big, dramatic roll of his hips, he pulled his pants up and over his ass, but not with a little resistance. He had to wiggle a little to pull them completely up. "-hot in here at night."

"Holy shit, were you a pornstar in a past life or something?" Sollux asked in a way that was meant to tease. However, his blatant interest was given away when his voice gave out and cracked.

Eridan turned around and smirked as he buttoned his pants. Sollux was surprised to see how muscular he was.

"You're…" Sollux trailed off. He ran his hand through his hair. "Holy hell."

"And you're a toothpick wearin' boxers," Eridan jeered. He wiggled his finger at Sollux's lower body. "Happy to see me?"

Sollux looked down.

"God fucking _damnit_."

Eridan threw his head back and laughed.

"Hot boxers. Are those bumble bees?"

Sollux groaned and suddenly remembered that, not only was he in just his underwear, but his boxers were black with bumble bees printed all over it.

"Yes, Eridan. They're bumble bees. Got a problem with that?"

"Not at all," Eridan said with a shrug. "They're cute."

Sollux nibbled his bottom lip and watched as Eridan went to his dresser and selected a white turtleneck. He took his scarf off and threw it to the floor before pulling the sweater on and smoothing it down. It was a designer sweater of course, one that hugged every dip and curve of Eridan's body. Sollux could see his shoulder blades working under the knit material.

"Do you lift?" Sollux asked randomly. Eridan looked over his shoulder as he adjusted the collar of his sweater.

"Mm? Yeah, o'course. Gotta do it for swimmin'," Eridan explained. He lifted his arms and flexed them. "Like 'em?"

"Uhhh," Sollux said. Eridan's arms were deceptively lean, yet when he flexed, Sollux could see the definition there. "How much can you bench?"

"Two-twenty," Eridan said proudly. "Two-fifty on a good day."

Sollux's eyebrows shot up.

"Holy fuck. You don't look like you could at all."

"I was one of the best swimmers on the team in high school. Swimmin' starts in a couple weeks here, and I'm definitely goin' to try out. Swimmers gotta be lean with a strong upper body. Helps us move in the water."

"Are you assuming or were you really one of the best?" Sollux asked skeptically. Eridan snorted.

"No, I _know_ I was one of the best, if not _the_ best. I brought home the gold for our team numerous times."

"…So you really are a freaky fish guy."

"I am _not_ a freaky fish guy!" Eridan erupted, marching up to Sollux and smacking his shoulder. Then, he crossed his arms and popped his hip. "Mm. An' how much can _you_ bench, Mister Captor?"

Sollux frowned.

"I… I'm not sure. I never did weightlifting."

"It shows," Eridan sneered, his lips curling into a smile. Sollux glowered.

"Fuck off. If you'd like, I could hack into your computer in two seconds flat and blow that shit _up_. Instead of grunting like a sweaty caveman while trying to see who can lift the heavier rock, I'm learning _practical_ skills."

"Skills to become a neckbeard?" Eridan bit.

"I'm going to fucking _kill_ you," Sollux growled. Eridan pursed his lips up at Sollux and gave him that shiteating grin that irritated him oh so much.

"Go ahead and try it. I could break you over my knee," Eridan taunted, reaching up and putting his hands on Sollux's chest so he could press him against the door. "I bet you can't even bench the _bar_."

Sollux lurched forward, grabbing Eridan by the wrists and shoving him towards the bed. However, Eridan spun around and tackled Sollux to the bed, pinning him there by the wrists. He laughed.

"Dude, don't pin me, don't pin me, don't _fucking_ pin me," Sollux chanted. The numb, tingling feeling began to creep up through his toes. He struggled against Eridan's hold and, to his relief, Eridan rolled off of him.

"Don't like being held down, huh?" Eridan asked, folding one leg under his body as he sat up and looked down at Sollux. Sollux wiped the sweat that had beaded up on his forehead.

"No, not at all."

"Sorry."

Sollux laughed.

"No, dude. It's my fault for trying to go up against a fucking body builder."

"I wouldn't go _that_ far," Eridan snorted. "How about just 'The Guy With More Mangrit'."

"Ugh."

"You should come weightlift with me sometime!" Eridan exclaimed. He reached out and grabbed Sollux's wrist, then waved his arm around like a limp noodle. "Build up these tiny arms of yours. You can benefit a lot from liftin'."

Sollux wrinkled his nose.

"I'd rather shoot myself in the nuts."

Eridan rolled his eyes, then lashed out and flicked Sollux where it _really_ hurt with the back of his hand. Sollux sucked in a lungful of air and grabbed at his crotch, rolling onto his side and curling in on himself. He felt Eridan get up off the bed.

"C'mon. Let's go out and get breakfast."

* * *

><p>"I'm still curious as to whether you're a manly gay guy or a flamboyant gay guy." Sollux mused as he chewed on his toast. They were at the IHOP that was down the street from Eridan's dorm, and the restaurant was nearly empty. Probably because everyone was at class. Sollux had taken the liberty of 'forgetting' he had his History class on that fine Monday morning.<p>

Oh well.

Eridan picked at his fresh fruit pastry unicorn sparkly crepe thing. Sollux was pretty sure that was what it was actually called.

"Why not both?" Eridan asked, poking at a strawberry before warily putting it in his mouth and wrinkling his nose. "Why not _all_ the types of gay guys? I don't like usin' labels for myself. It makes me feel like I'm conformin'."

"Mm," Sollux hummed, shoving a huge piece of blueberry pancake into his mouth. Eridan grimaced at him. "_What?_"

"You're a fuckin' pig when you eat."

"Mm'you're a pi'y li'l _'irl_," Sollux snapped, his mouth full. Eridan watched in disgust as a bit of syrup dripped down from Sollux's lips and onto his plate. To make a point, Sollux daintily dabbed at his lips with his napkin. He swallowed. "You're a picky little girl."

"But clean. I am fuckin' clean, Sol. You eat like a starvin' wild animal."

"I _am_ a starving wild animal."

Sollux wiggled his eyebrows and Eridan scowled. The twitch of his lip gave him away, though.

"Inappropriate," Eridan grunted, taking a sip of his coffee. "What would your mother say?"

"She wouldn't give a fuck," Sollux muttered around another bite of pancakes.

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"Figures."

They were quiet, save for Sollux's eating noises and Eridan's displeased little coughs and _ahem_s.

"Dude, do you ever eat?" Sollux asked in amazement as Eridan pushed his barely touched food away.

"Of course. I just don't like all this stuff."

"It looks delicious to me."

"You want it?"

"Hell yeah. Slide it over."

Eridan watched in silence as Sollux devoured the rest of the crepe.

"For someone so thin, you sure eat a lot," Eridan commented, pulling down his sweater sleeve so he could warm up his hands. Sollux shook his head.

"Nah, man. I don't eat very well at my place. Me and Karkat live on ramen and shit like that. Starts tasting like garbage after a while."

"Ugh. That shit _is_ garbage," Eridan said, his face scrunching up. "Gross."

"You're the first person I've met who has _real_ food."

"Well, I'm _flattered_," Eridan said wryly. "Really, I am. Nice to know that you only come over to my house to eat my whole kitchen."

"It's not _just_ the food," Sollux said. He gulped down a few mouthfuls of coffee.

"…Huh?"

Sollux looked at Eridan, who was staring back at him with parted lips and reddened cheeks. His eyes had gotten big again, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

God damn those _puppy dog eyes_.

"Uh," Sollux said. "I like going to your dorm and hanging out? It's sweet."

Eridan's lips upturned a tiny little bit. He looked down into his coffee mug and tapped his fingers on the sides. Sollux looked around, feeling a bit embarrassed himself. He scratched the back of his head.

"So… Eridan," he said slowly, pursing his lips. He didn't look at Eridan, who was taking a sip of coffee in the corner of his eye. "Top or bottom?"

He snapped his head back to Eridan when he choked on his coffee and slammed his mug down. He had quite the episode of coughing and spluttering all over the place, attracting a couple weird looks.

"Wh-What the actual _fuck?_" Eridan asked, his face flushing bright red and his eyes watering as he smothered a few more coughs with his sleeve. "What kind of question is _that?_"

"It's just a question, Eridan. Jesus."

"A _very_ rude question!" Eridan spat a little too loudly. His face burned brighter and he busied himself with wiping up the few coffee splatters on the table.

"Too embarrassed to answer?" Sollux asked with a smirk. He leaned in a little and rested his elbows on the table. He held his chin in his hands. "Says a lot about your character, I'd say. You know, I'd bet a thousand bucks that you're a bot-"

"Shhhh-shh-_shh!_" Eridan hushed, his entire face red. His voice dropped to a hiss. "How am I supposed to know, I've never even had sex!"

"Well, how do you imagine yourself when you… you know, do your thing?" Sollux asked, lifting an eyebrow. Eridan positively _squirmed_.

"We should _not_ be having this conversation!"

"You're denying it."

Eridan sucked in his bottom lip and gnawed on it, hands falling below the table so he could curl in on himself a bit.

"I… I imagine myself as both," Eridan finally whispered. "It depends on my mood."

"Hmmm," Sollux hummed. Eridan gritted his teeth.

"But that… that doesn't change anythin' about me! I'm still stronger than you, an' I'm bigger!"

"Yeah, I know, you're just a big mass of muscle," Sollux said dismissively.

"But…" Eridan muttered. "I… I imagine myself topping more. I could go either way but… I'd prefer the top. H-How… how about you?"

"Top," Sollux said without hesitation. "I can't… I hate the thought of bottoming."

"Is it because…?" Eridan trailed off. Sollux looked straight at him and glared hard. "…Oh."

"Yeah, so…" Sollux trailed off. "I mean, I don't want to brag or anything, but… I'm pretty good at it."

Eridan was obviously struggling to keep composure.

"Um…" Eridan trailed off. "What do you mean?"

"I'm good at _it_."

Eridan coughed into his fist before looking at Sollux.

"That's …um… how good are you?"

"The last guy I was with," Sollux began, his voice dropping down into a low murmur. He leaned in a little. "Friend of mine. We were friends with benefits, you could say. Guy has the best pokerface you'll ever see. Hardly smiles, but he's a cheerful guy. But with me… well…"

Sollux glanced up from his folded hands on the table to Eridan, who had leaned in. His face had taken on the complexion of a tomato.

"With you what?" Eridan asked, sounding eager. Sollux grinned, amused.

"Guy _screamed_ my name," Sollux breathed. Eridan stiffened, but it didn't hide the fact that he was shivering.

"You're… terrible," Eridan croaked, putting his head in his hand. "Absolutely terrible."

"For what?"

"For tellin' me that shit. I…I-I really…"

"Want it?"

Eridan blushed even harder and hid his eyes before nodding ever so slightly.

"Real bad."

"Then why not? You like me, don't you?" Sollux asked, leaning back in his seat and draping his arm over the back of the chair next to him. Eridan frowned.

"That's not… Sol, that's not how it works. Allow me to reject your offer yet _again_, because I don't think you're quite gettin' this," Eridan said slowly. He took a breath. "Sex is important to me, but not in the way that it's important to you. It's somethin' that… that I really value, somethin' that needs to happen when I'm in a committed, long term relationship. Not casually."

Sollux quirked his lips.

"Says the guy who brought guys home."

"That's… behind me, Sol. You _know_ I can't hold alcohol. Things were just so hard, an'… well, what did you expect me to do? I needed to forget, and I truly regret it. Sol, you talk about sex so casually like it's a daily thing with you. Do you even _know_ these people you have sex with?"

"Pretty well, yeah."

"Do you like them?"

"Yeah, they're cool."

Eridan frowned and looked down.

"Isn't sex important to you?"

"It's just a way to pass the time before I get out of here and live my own life. Then I have a job, and a home, and I can support my own God damn life by myself. The faster I get through this shithole, the better," Sollux said. When Eridan don't respond, Sollux looked up.

Eridan stared back at him as if he had kicked an infant.

"What about me, then?" Eridan asked. His eyes narrowed a little. "Are you just usin' me to pass the time? Is that why you want to have sex with me so bad?"

"Ugh. No, Eridan. It's not like that," Sollux groaned. He put his head in his hand. "It's complicated."

Sollux looked up to the sound of Eridan frantically putting his coat on.

"Where are you going?" Sollux asked, slightly alarmed. Eridan stood from his chair and straightened his coat.

"I'm just a waste of your time," Eridan said bitterly. "Why bother if I'm not going to have sex with you anyway, huh?"

Sollux set his jaw.

"No, Eridan. I just said-"

"I know what you _said_," Eridan spat. He lowered his voice to a rumble to avoid being heard by other patrons. "And I don't believe you. How am I any different from any other guy or girl or whatever you've fucked? You said yourself that you don't like me in the way I like you. What makes me so different from the other '_wastes of time'_? I'm beginnin' to understand w-why Kar doesn't like you. You're so w-wrapped up in yourself an' your ow-wn problems, you don't ev-ven consider anyone else's feelin's. I… I w-want sex to be somethin' I enjoy, an' my first time to be an experience that I enjoy hav-vin'. I'm not about to throw-w that all aw-way for someone w-who w-wants me but also w-wants fifteen other people. Someone w-who w-would break things off w-with me in a fuckin' second if the first person they lov-ved decided to suddenly return their feelin's."

Every time Sollux tried to say something, Eridan would cut him off. By the time Eridan was finished, Sollux was absolutely silent.

"Don't you think I'v-ve _had it_ with manw-whores for one lifetime?" Eridan added after a second's pause. He pinched his lips together and gave Sollux a wounded look before spinning on his heel and stomping out.

Sollux couldn't help but to notice that Eridan still paid the bill. For both of them.

_You were leading me on, you fucking bitch!_

Those words echoed in Sollux's skull, words that he had desperately wanted to yell out to Eridan's back.

But he didn't. He _couldn't_.

Because, deep down, he knew that the fault lied in him and him alone. That he was selfish, and narcissistic, and an overall terrible person. And Eridan…. he was a different kind of selfish. While selfish, he was also kind, and thoughtful, and… _selfless_. While narcissistic, he loved others and _truly_ cared and actually _gave a shit_ about other peoples' feelings.

Sollux was inferior. He was worthless. He was sick and he was mentally unstable, and Eridan was the embodiment of perfection.

And he fucking hated himself for it.

That night, when he finally went back to his and Karkat's dorm, he discovered another use for the razor he used to shave the stubble from his cheeks in the morning. He found a new pain to replace the inner torment he went through every day. It masked everything: all the anger, all the sadness, all the fear, and all the pain of everything that his uncle had torn away from him before he was old enough to even know what the fuck was going on in his life. It was a short escape, and it was what he deserved. He was terrible, terrible, _terrible_, and he fucking _deserved_ it. He deserved every terrified second of it, every drop of blood that slid down his forearm and dripped into the sink. He felt better already. Why hadn't he realized it before, that he really was just a scumbag? It had only taken him about a hundred thousand people to drill it into his head. Eridan's words finally made him realize that. He had finally pushed him over the edge.

It was something that he had actually ridiculed before. _Cutting? What a joke. All they want is attention._

... Sollux told himself he didn't need any attention. Besides, it was only a temporary relief before he found something else to heal him.

After all, he could stop at any time.

…He could stop at any time.


	25. Chapter 25

**Here's 25! :)**

**Special thanks to the current contestants of the Eridan's Choice ass contest: _spazzykat, ondeahy, 2kiilledhacker, timeanddivision, hussiebot, solluxsdoubledicks, hopespuppeteer, zencat, singingwoodpecker, pigsinmycrib, 8adjokes, owlsprite, theteaman_, and _gilwing_. There is still another week left in the contest (Ends Saturday, February 18 at 11:59 PM), so you still have plenty of time to enter! I look forward to seeing more asses! 8,D. You can see these ECA contest pieces at http: / / sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/eridanschoiceass**

**Special thanks to OHAC fanartists: _cherryglare, puridan, faygohigh, cheesemonkey119, timeanddivision, gunsandwwands, zencat, faygohigh _(COSPLAYER)_, shil4, kephra, spazzykat, batspit, nepputune, chosenkat,_ and _em-dictionary_. You can see these fanart pieces at http: / / sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/ohacfanart**

**...And special thanks to three generous artists, who made UPDATE gifs for OHAC for my use!: _hussiebot, novilicious_, and _spazzykat_. I could always use more of these so... feel free to just drop one in 8,D All you need is a gif with Eridan and/or Sollux with the word 'UPDATE!' on it, and I'll use it before OHAC updates so everyone knows a chapter is on the way. Thanks a ton! :)**

_****Minor trigger warning for descriptions of self-inflicted pain**  
><strong>_

**Finally, enjoy.**

[Chapter 25]

While he waited for one of his codes to load up from the autosave, he glanced down at his wrist. There, a single cloth sweatband resided. Sollux had grown quite used to it, as he wore it day or night, rain or shine. He was actually sort of fond of it for being so kind and understanding of his situation. Thank you, little blue-and-red cuff.

It had been three long weeks. They were into December already, close to Christmas. Blizzards were running rampant, though, so Sollux doubted the chance that he and Karkat had to fly down to Arizona for Christmas. Sollux had been calling his mother, his biological mother, for several days in a row, asking her what she wanted for Christmas. She never answered.

Somehow he could understand the reason why. Sollux's uncle had been calling him again, asking him what he wanted for Christmas, both inappropriate and innocent. Sollux didn't answer. Why? He hated him. Detested him, loathed him with all of his heart and soul whenever he took off the little cloth cuff for a shower. Whenever he saw his wrist laced with red, an unspeakable anger came over him. It was a strange anger. In this anger everyone was targeted, even Dave and John, who were, perhaps, the most innocent. And that was his reasoning for his mother. He didn't know who she hated: her late husband, herself, Sollux. Either way, Sollux was caught in the crossfire, and he meant nothing to her anymore.

But the person who received the most of his own anger was himself. Almost obsessively, he wanted to inflict pain on himself, teach himself a lesson. At one point he had messed himself up so bad that he couldn't even move his wrist, much less put the cuff on. He ended up wearing a long sleeved shirt that day. It was times like that that he almost wished his uncle would just take him away and finish him once and for all. He loomed over Sollux like a great, inescapable shadow. He never faded.

So Sollux just gave up. Chained to the darkness, he just fell to his knees. He answered a call here and there. Listened deafly to his uncle when he was forced upon even over the phone. Slowly, he crept back into that sick ritual that he had suffered for eighteen years of his life. And his uncle didn't even have to be there in the God damn flesh to do it.

Karkat hadn't noticed a thing. He had made a stupid comment on Sollux's wristband, but nothing more. His time was sucked away by Nepeta, who grew more and more on Sollux's nerves with each passing day. The way she cooed the name 'Karkitty', the way she laughed, the way she made random noises and the way she nuzzled Karkat like she really was some stupid fucking cat. It all pissed him off. Every time he so much as saw her, he'd spend the night locked in the bathroom, inflicting two or three rather violent cuts. At one point he had nearly tried the other wrist, but the differences… when Sollux compared the two wrists, seeing one clean and innocent and smooth and handsome, and the other lacerated and swollen and pulsing, he felt sickened. So he kept that one safe, absolutely refusing to touch it.

The other was history.

Karkat was… strange. He didn't seem to enjoy the nicknames or the random meowing or… well, Equius's constant presence much, either. It confirmed Sollux's suspicions.

Karkat didn't actually like Nepeta. At least not in a romantic sense. And nobody else noticed except for Sollux.

Sollux blinked when he realized he made a mistake while typing his code. Somewhat perturbed by this, he scrolled back and fixed it, then stared blankly at the screen.

With a curse, he stood from his desk chair and went to his bed, where he flopped down and sprawled over it. Out of pure curiosity, he slid two fingers into the wristband and stroked the ridged skin of his inner wrist. He did this over and over until it started to hurt again, then let his hands fall to his sides on the mattress. He just stared at the ceiling.

Karkat was at class. Nearly everyone was. Sollux had class later that day, but he still had quite a few hours…

He really wasn't in the mood, but his hand found its way to the front of his jeans anyway. It was another way that Sollux found an escape, even though he never really found any satisfaction out of it. Just a boner and sweating usually followed one of these episodes, and he'd always have to take a cold shower. But it allowed his mind to wander on better things for a little bit before his mind took the inevitable turn towards Kenneth, in which case he always had to stop immediately.

Palming himself and rubbing in small circles through his jeans, Sollux closed his eyes and thought of Karkat. Gorgeous brown eyes, a shy yet confirming smile on his lips, his bare chest flushed red with virgin excitement. His hands would be on either side of his head on the pillow, where his hair would fan out about his head like a halo. He'd interlace his fingers with Sollux's, squeeze hard, and let out a cry when Sollux took his innocence. Then he'd bring up Karkat's legs and curl Karkat into a little ball, then just cage him in like that in an act of adoring possessiveness. They'd bump foreheads and Sollux would kiss his nose, his eyelids, his forehead, and his lips.

He'd be treasured.

By then, Sollux's pants were pulled down to his knees, and he was busy stroking himself at a quick, steady pace. Thoughts of Karkat always brought the temperature up inside of him, and his thoughts began to quicken.

He didn't have to fantasize about Dave, as any fantasies concerning him had come true. Up against the door, Dave's legs had been wrapped tightly around Sollux's waist, his fingernails raking up Sollux's bare back. In the throes of their passion, his glasses had been knocked to the floor, his face twisted into a look of ecstasy as Sollux pumped in and out of him. His hands went to Sollux's hair, tearing and scratching. Sollux quickened the pace, and Dave had thrown his head back against the door, Sollux's name tearing itself from his throat over and over until he was hoarse. When he came, his nails had drawn blood from Sollux's shoulders, and each individual toe uncurled and splayed, trembling violently as wave after wave of his orgasm washed over him.

And then Sollux was fantasizing again. Both of them - John and Dave - would position themselves over him, stroking his legs and body with soft, cool hands. They'd kiss and lick their ways to their destination, and then they'd both give him a blowjob at the same time, either taking turns or licking him. Every once and a while, they would give Sollux a show and make out with each other right over his dick.

Sollux chewed on his lip as his toes curled against the sheets of his bed. His hips were bucking a little with each stroke, and a couple droplets of precum rolled over his fingers. He was close, but it was usually around this point that he lost concentration and his mind wandered to less desirable things. His brows furrowed, and he worked to stroke faster and hopefully cum before his thoughts went to Kenneth and how disgusting he made him feel.

That's when someone, who had previously been completely and utterly unwelcome, just waltzed into his mind. Eridan.

He didn't do anything particularly special, but Sollux rolled with it. When it didn't concern his uncle, his mind took him to happy places. He let it take control while he worked himself.

Eridan sort of just circled him, naked, for a few moments before he stopped before Sollux and touched him. Grayish blue eyes locked onto Sollux's as nimble fingertips ran up and down his arms. He leaned forward and kissed Sollux's jaw, then his chin, and finally his lips.

And then they were randomly on a bed. They lied side by side, with Sollux facing Eridan. Eridan was on his back, head tipped back into the pillows, as his lips stretched open into a silent cry.

Sollux was there beside him, holding Eridan's sweaty bangs off of his forehead, peppering kisses over his entire face. Sollux didn't quite know what they were doing until his mind's eye looked down to see Eridan's hand stroking himself. Sollux's hand covered his, guiding him and setting the pace.

His own erection was left entirely untouched.

But Sollux couldn't stop his mind from this fantasy, even though the only one receiving pleasure in it was Eridan. In his imagination, Eridan was exceptionally graceful even when he was cursing under his breath and whispering Sollux's name. His pelvis rolled and rotated, timed perfectly with each stroke. His whole body undulated, strong back arching off of the bed, pink lips bitten into a cherry red color.

Sollux's tongue slipped down Eridan's jaw and to the dip of his collarbone, where he sucked on the tender white skin. He imagined himself whispering something into Eridan's ear, breathing his name, blowing very lightly.

And when Eridan went rigid and shivered violently, Sollux watched as cum swelled up and out of him, coating both of their hands. Eridan slumped against the bed, but the fantasy wasn't over yet.

Eridan started giggling, putting his clean hand over his eyes and wiping the sweat from his forehead. He looked up into Sollux's eyes and said something that Sollux assumed to be snarky, but there was no sound.

And as Eridan relaxed and dozed, Sollux worshipped his face with little kisses, his hand still slowly working Eridan's softening erection to ke-

Sollux's eyes shot open and, without warning, his abdomen tightened and clenched. He felt the ache of an orgasm beginning to bubble up from inside of him. Out of shock, he practically let go. But his hand, slick with precum, continued to move, continued to stroke and squeeze.

"Oooooh, hmmmn-" Sollux moaned uncontrollably, almost frightened by the sounds coming from his own lips. "Hnnmm, mm, _mmuh_, mmm, oh, _HHAAAH!_"

Sollux thrashed as a final squeeze sent him tumbling over the edge. He rode it out for a long time, the wonderful heavy feeling in the pit of his gut feeling unlike anything he had felt in a long time. He continued to cry out as the orgasm rocked him to his core. He dug the back of his head into the pillow as his back lifted off of the bed, and he continued to pump furiously until he was milked dry of all the passion and tension that had built up inside of him.

When he finished, he slumped on the bed, spent, and struggled to catch his breath. His pumping had turned into lazy touches and strokes here and there. Slowly, his erection softened against his stomach, and for the first time, he was covered in his own sweat and his own sweat alone. The surprising amount of cum dripping from his fingers was his own, the wetness on his stomach where his penis lied was his own and his extremely unruly hair had been tousled by his own hand and dear _God_ it felt _wonderful_.

He felt more like a man from the whole experience. He felt as if he had not been _entirely_ emasculated by his uncle, like he didn't have to work so hard to prove himself as the dominant role in sex to others. He spread his legs and experimentally touched his entrance. He let out a shaking sigh and just circled it over and over, covering his eyes with his free hand.

He wondered how it felt to be trapped under someone else's weight, not his uncle's. To be the one to receive, to be the one raking his fingernails down the other's back.

Eridan was the first one to come to mind. Purple tuft of hair flopped forward, in Sollux's mind he caged Sollux in from behind, trailing his kisses down Sollux's flushed back, stroking him, preparing him for his entry. His hand would grab at Sollux's, clumsily lacing their fingers together and gripping him hard.

And maybe it'd be Sollux who would scream _his_ name.

Sollux dozed on these thoughts, basking in his post-orgasm glow and just thinking empty thoughts. Every once and a while, he'd be pulled out of his daze and he'd aimlessly stroke himself a few more times, then run his clean hand up and down his sides and over his still-clothed nipples.

When he was afraid he'd pass out and be left there, half naked, upon his bed for Karkat to see when he got back, a terrible thought passed his mind.

Just how loose was he?

Sollux's eyes fluttered open. He pulled his hand away from between his legs as if he had been burned. He sat up a little.

His uncle was big. Surprisingly big for his lanky body, anyway. Sollux had also inherited that trait, but… he liked to think he had gotten it from his father and his father alone.

But that was beside the point.

Sollux didn't even dare feel for himself. He just _knew_ that he was loose, and permanently stretched, and probably scarred. How many times had his uncle gone in dry…? How many times had his saving grace been the blood that slicked his insides?

Sollux felt sick to his stomach.

Nobody would ever have to know if he asserted himself. He wasn't a slut. _He_ was dominant.

Standing from the bed, Sollux reached down and pulled his pants up most of the way with his clean hand, then slowly made his way to the bathroom to wash up.

He would never, _ever_ let anyone take him.

* * *

><p>When Sollux emerged from the bathroom forty five minutes later with puffy hair and flushed cheeks from overheating in the shower, he found Karkat sitting at his desk.<p>

"Hey," Sollux said a bit shortly, going to his dresser and rummaging around in it. He discreetly made sure his wristband was in place.

"…Sup," Karkat responded absentmindedly. Sollux looked over his shoulder to see that Karkat was scrolling through pictures on Google Images on their shared homework PC. Sollux raised an eyebrow and adjusted his glasses on his nose.

"Nothing. You?"

"Nothin' much. You actually gonna go to class tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

Sollux frowned down at himself before letting his towel drop to his ankles. He took off his glasses and pulled on a pair of boxers and some sweatpants before shrugging into his old _Avenged Sevenfold_ hoodie.

"Going to class in pajamas? You're so fucking lazy."

Sollux looked over at Karkat, who had swung around in his chair and was facing Sollux. Sollux's lips quirked a bit and he put his glasses back on.

"Hey, man. Whatever's comfortable. I'm not trying to impress anyone in that class."

"What class are you heading to?" Karkat asked.

"The poetry one. Poetry B or whatever."

"Doesn't the professor want to suck your dick or something?" Karkat asked. Sollux snorted.

"Yup, that's the one. She's so far up my ass, you have no idea. But who doesn't want to suck my dick? I mean… _bam_," Sollux said, gesturing to his crotch.

"You're fucking stupid."

Karkat turned back around.

"Listen, man. I know… I know I've been pretty fucking distant with you lately, and I wanna make it up to you sometime. How about we go out and get fucked up?" Karkat asked.

Sollux was unaccustomed to that to say the least. He looked over at the back of Karkat's head as he grabbed his car keys from the top of the dresser and rattled them in the pocket of his sweatpants.

"You mean like, get wasted?"

"Yeah," Karkat said. He tipped his head back in his chair and looked at Sollux upside-down. "Gamzee's having a get-together. He's even got his fucking boytoy there with him tonight, so there's not gonna be any drugs and shit, but probably a beer or two."

"That's your definition of 'fucked up'?" Sollux laughed. "Oh _wow_."

"Fuck you, I don't drink!" Karkat barked, flashing Sollux the middle finger. "I'm just trying to be fucking nice."

"Hah, yeah. That sounds cool, sure dude. I haven't seen Tavros in a while, how is he doing?"

"Good, pretty sure. Still wheeling himself around like a fucking boss."

"And the whole trio?"

"Vriska's just as much as a bitch as ever, but with that stoned motherfucker there to mediate between her and Tavros all the time, they're getting along great, actually. It's pretty fucking sweet."

"Did they make things official, or what?" Sollux asked, leaning against the dresser.

"I think so. As far as I know, Gamzee and Tavros are pretty much fucking married. Vriska's more of… I don't know, an addition? Like, if they want a threesome or whatever they'll get together. I don't fucking know, open relationships are fucked up."

Sollux shrugged.

"Doesn't really matter if they love and trust each other, right? I say it's cool that they do whatever to make sure the other is enjoying themselves."

"I don't know, man. Just… it's the same thing with John. I've caught him and Vriska making out a couple times while John's boyfriend is right there, and I don't fucking know, do just straight up heterosexual relationships between two people and two people alone even fucking exist anymore?" Karkat asked, throwing his hands up.

"Dude, it's college. We like to have a good time and fuck everyone and everything. We're just one big fat orgy enclosed in a big orgy pen," Sollux said. "Also, it's because you're my best friend. I just naturally gravitate towards the everythingsexual crowd. It's what I do, man."

"Well. Someone's going to get a fucking unwanted pregnancy, and I'm going to laugh my _ass_ off," Karkat said, crossing his arms and swinging back and forth in his chair.

"Guess who doesn't have to worry about that?" Sollux asked proudly, pointing to his chest with his thumbs.

"Well, fuck. I always wanted a sassy gay friend," Karkat mocked in a forced falsetto voice. "Oh wait, I'm fucking _surrounded_ by sassy gay people."

"It's not that bad," Sollux said. In a bold move, he went to Karkat and straddled his lap on the chair. It creaked a bit in protest as Sollux settled in Karkat's lap. Karkat, however, was completely unfazed. "You should try it sometime. You never have to worry about knocking anybody up."

"Feeling a little rambunctious today, are we?" Karkat asked monotonously. "Get the fuck off of me, Captor."

"Jeez," Sollux sighed, getting off and plopping down onto the floor.

"You seem to forget that I have a fucking girlfriend, man," Karkat said, tipping his head back on the back of the chair and spinning around in it a few times. Sollux rolled his eyes.

"You say that like she's an annoyance. The cat isn't coming with us to Gamzee's, right?" Sollux asked.

"No, _Nepeta's_ not coming with us. Just you and me. Equius doesn't let her do shit, anyway. It almost feels like I'm dating _him_, too."

"Dude, is he her fucking brother or something?"

"Cousins."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Sollux exclaimed, genuinely frustrated. "Why? Doesn't it piss you off?"

"It does. Annoys the shit out of me," Karkat admitted.

"Then _why_ are you dating her?"

Karkat shook his head.

"Couldn't explain it to you if I tried. Haven't you ever met anyone who pisses you right the fuck off, but you still like them because it's… them?"

"Well…" Sollux trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. "There's this guy, and he's a fucking fruit, and he fucking brags all the time, and he always puts his rings on the _same_ fucking fingers, one on his thumb, two on his index, one on his middle finger, on both fucking hands! And then he's just… he's _such_ a bitch. Oh God, and he picks at his food, and he has the stupidest way of talking. Like, he can't even pronounce 'god' right, rolls the 'r' in actor, stupid theatre junky pompous little bitch is what he is. And for fuck's sake, this guy wears _so much purple-"_

"It sounds like you're head over heels."

The words caught in Sollux's throat, and he stared up at Karkat.

"…What did you say?"

Karkat shrugged.

"That guy. It doesn't sound like you're annoyed with him at all. It sounds like you're just pointing out his flaws because you're in it fucking deep, man. You're _balls_ deep in love."


	26. Chapter 26

**Enjoy. :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 26]<p>

Needless to say, Sollux had a lot to think about when he and Karkat headed down to Gamzee's place. It was a small get-together indeed. The only people who were there were Gamzee, Vriska, Tavros, Karkat, and Sollux. Gamzee made special brownies and special pie and just baked the shit out of anything he could find to experiment. You know, to find out what did and didn't taste good with marijuana.

Sollux liked the brownies the best because Gamzee had put so little in the first batch for his 'sweet motherfuckin' innocent buddies'. Never one with the tastebuds or the lungs for drugs, Sollux enjoyed just lounging on Gamzee's couch and watching Tavros and Vriska play Call of Duty with a dazed, blank look on his face. His mind felt just a bit hyperactive. His fingertips tingled a little, and a lot of absurdly deep questions came to him. Things like 'whoa, what if helium brings us up to our normal voices, and oxygen makes us lower?'. To this, Gamzee laughed, Vriska snorted, Tavros tried to answer the best he could, and Karkat kicked him in the hip from the other side of the couch.

But in all seriousness, the things that brewed in Sollux's head did not consist of stupid questions. Rather, he used his ever-so-slight high to supercharge his thoughts, make him think harder, think up of outrageous possibilities that, hell, might just work.

He weighed his options. On one hand, he had the man he had been in love with for practically his whole life. His ideal lover, everything he wanted in a relationship, Karkat had it all. But Karkat wasn't willing to give it to him. Karkat had a girlfriend, he was an only child. What would Mrs. Vantas think if Sollux took away her son? Rendered him unable to supply her with grandchildren? Surely she didn't deserve that.

But Sollux was in love with him. In love with his rare laugh or smile, in love with his eyes, his body, his personality. Everything. Love was blind, so Sollux's emotions swallowed up the logistical problems that choosing Karkat would impose. It gave him a slight headache, so he moved on.

Eridan was… difficult. He was gorgeous. He had a beautiful face and hair, a beautiful body, perfect ass. He had food and he had money, and he was in love (or at least in _like_) with an asshole who couldn't keep his emotions in check. It didn't add up to Sollux, and he had to think long and hard before he realized something.

Maybe Eridan liked him because he was Sollux. Maybe it wasn't his illnesses or his past or his baggage. He liked _him_, and something about that fact touched Sollux's heart. For a moment, he sorted through his own feelings for Eridan. He found nothing in that section of his brain except for images of Eridan. His eyes, his lips, his perfectly straight nose, his hair. His birthmark on his hip, his strut, his ass, his legs, his long black eyelashes.

His hands, pampered and prettied up, but calloused from his saxophone all the same.

Sollux recalled Eridan's smile, then his _real_ smile. His laugh, then his _real_ laugh. All things Eridan had kept defensively to himself that first day that they spent together, but lately he had shown more of it. Less of the awkward half smile, more of the big, toothy grin. More dimpled cheeks, a pronounced crinkle in his eyes. Less of the small, airy hiccup of a laugh. More of the high pitched fits of giggles, the fucked up snort-squeal thing, the raised brows and the shaking shoulders. He had shown it all to Sollux without worrying that he did, in fact, have a really stupid look on his face when he laughed. He didn't worry about keeping his aloof demeanor, he just smiled and chattered and smiled some more.

Sollux really fucking liked that, that he never saw Eridan really _smile_ as much in public as he did alone with him.

But that was all he found. Images, memorized sounds of his laughter, the feeling of the pleasant chill of Eridan's lips against his that Sollux would never, never forget. It wasn't that way for Karkat. In Karkat's section of Sollux's brain, he found a few images, but the space was mostly taken up by the huge, dark block of pain and ache that he felt for him. Eridan didn't have that, so surely he wasn't… in love with him? If he was in love with him, surely he'd need a big block of pain and ache, too?

Fuck, it was giving him an even worse migraine than before. He put his head in his hand and shut his eyes to soothe the waves of pain that washed over his head.

He didn't even know what love was anymore. Like a simple word spoken over and over until it loses its meaning, until the speaker gets tongue tied and doesn't know how to say it anymore, his love for Karkat had turned into an old habit he could not break. So now, when he really began questioning it, he could not figure out, for the life of him, how to let it go. How to take that powerful beam of emotion and direct it at someone else, he could not figure out how, God _damnit_.

It was getting hard for him to think. Sentences became muddled together, emotions slurred. Things didn't make sense, and holy shit he suddenly realized he had been drinking, while deep in thought, and was about ready to puke.

Gamzee hovered over him, his echoing voice cheerful. He was laughing.

"Oh, shit, man, this guy's all up and about ready to blow!"

"Gamzee! This is, uh, no time for you to be joking around. Um, Vriska, I think-"

"Shut up, Tavvy. The grown-ups are talking."

"Oh… uh, okay."

"What the fuck is his problem? Sollux?"

He felt warm hands on his already flushed cheeks, and he groaned. They were too hot, making him nauseous.

"Awww shiiiiit, there he goes!"

"Put the pan under his chin, Tavvy."

Sollux felt something cool on his chest, felt hands forcing him to sit up, his feet hitting the carpet a million miles below. And then he was retching, and the sound and the smell made him practically pass out with nausea. It was a violent sickness, and he tried to get everything out. His stupid fucking diagnosis, his stupid emotions, his stupid heart and mind and intestines. He tried to vomit out the lies and the pain and all of his blood. He tried to vomit his life away.

But when he was finished, the only thing he had managed to rid his body of was his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He was left shaking and crying, mumbling incoherent things into the pan. Someone slipped it away, gave him water to wash his mouth out with. Sollux lurched again when he put the water in his mouth, and in a flash the pan was there again. He was sobbing now, but the sound of it was masked by the sounds of him vomiting. The voices in his head flared up at the most inconvenient time, jeering at him, snarling, biting at his heels as he tried to sprint through black muck.

_Make it stop._

His mind's eye tripped and fell and he was drowning, hands tearing at his clothes, entering his eyes and lips. His mouth was full of the foul taste, his legs desperately kicking, more hands grabbing, he was blacking out, somewhere in the distance, someone was screaming bloody murder, deeper into the abyss. Someone was screaming. High pitched, the same pitch, screaming forever right into his ears. More hands grabbing, he thrashed, then there was a sharp pain in his inner elbow and he was gone.

* * *

><p>When his eyes slid open, it was too bright for him to keep them open. He squinted against the whiteness. Slowly, his fingers moved. He felt soft bed sheets, a heated mattress pad. His head throbbed, and he felt sore all over.<p>

When his eyes had adjusted to the light, there was a steady beeping sound in his ear and a dull pain in his inner elbow, where an IV tube was poking out. Then, he realized his opposite hand was surrounded by warmth, rather than the bedsheets. He fumbled around and found his glasses on the table beside the bed.

He looked over, and the beeping in his ear sped up a little. There was Karkat, slumped in his chair, sleeping soundly with his head on the edge of the bed. Held tightly in his hand was Sollux's. His hair was a little greasy-looking, and it occurred to Sollux that they were in a hospital. That he was the patient. And Karkat was the damsel who had sobbed at his bedside all night long, clinging to his arm and begging for him to wake up. The beeping sped up more.

That probably wasn't how it played out, but whatever. Sollux could scarcely remember anything anyway.

"Mister Captor?"

Sollux looked up to see a nurse walk in and quietly shut the door behind her. She was young, very pretty. Perhaps right out of medical school. Her cheeks turned pink when she spoke to Sollux.

"It's good to see you awake," she said shyly, coming to the bedside and checking Sollux's IV.

"How long was I out?" Sollux asked.

"Just overnight. It's noon on Wednesday."

"Shit. Well, guess I'll be winging it on the test," Sollux sighed. The nurse chortled a little and checked several other machines and beeping things. Sollux was quiet before he asked the dreaded question. "What… happened?"

The nurse seemed to sense his distress, and she put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Last night you were checked in with too much alcohol in your system, and you were having a bad reaction to lysergic acid diethylamide, but that's the technical term. You'd know it as-"

"Acid. LSD," Sollux breathed, staring straight ahead. When the hell had he taken LSD? He assumed it was sometime between his puking and his first sip of alcohol. He thought for a moment, then whipped his head up to the nurse. "I swear to God, I didn't know, I didn't-"

"We know," the nurse said gently, rubbing Sollux's shoulder soothingly. "There was a _lot_ of alcohol in your system. Your friends said they brought you home from a big party out of town and you were… well, 'having a bad trip' as they said. So they called the hospital and had us come pick you up."

Well, that was a lie, Sollux noted. He inwardly smiled. His friends, man. Always looking out for him. No way would they tell them that Sollux had taken it willingly during his drunken episode. Gamzee, Vriska, and Tavros were all surprisingly good liars. With Gamzee and his charm, and Vriska with her intimidation, and Tavros with his innocence, they created the Tri-force of covering up this sort of shit. Kudos to them.

"Now… you're a minor, correct?" the nurse asked slowly. Sollux eyed her warily and sort of nodded-slash-shook his head. The nurse laughed. "It's okay, you don't have to lie. You're not in trouble. The administration decided to let you off with just a warning, as this is your first offense and you're a good student. If it happens again though, they told me to tell you that you risk expulsion."

"Understood," Sollux said solemnly. "It won't… yeah, it won't happen again."

"Good," the nurse said with a big smile. She gave Sollux one last shoulder rub.

"Nnn," Karkat moaned out of nowhere. Both Sollux and the nurse looked down to see Karkat stirring from his slumber.

"Looks like your friend is waking up," the nurse laughed. Then, she pointed to a button on the wall just above his head. "If you need me, just ring the bell and I'll come right away."

With that, the nurse left, just in time for Karkat to lift his head.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Sollux greeted, resting his head on his pillow before reaching over and adjusting the bed so he was sitting up a little bit.

Karkat only stared at him for a moment before looking down and squeezing his hand. Hard.

"You took acid," Karkat said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry. I knew… I knew I should've fucking said something, but I didn't know… I didn't fucking know you'd-"

"Have a bad trip?" Sollux asked. "It's fine."

"It's not fucking 'fine'!"

Sollux was startled by Karkat's raised voice, and he looked over to see Karkat's face contorted in worry and confusion. Then his eyes traveled down to Sollux's left hand wrapped up in his own. To his wrist.

His bare wrist.

"_Shit!_" Sollux hissed, jerking his hand away. But he already knew it was too late, and Karkat reached out and grabbed his hand and roughly yanked it back.

"What the fuck is this? What is it?" Karkat asked almost violently. "Why are you doing this?"

"It's none of your business," Sollux said, meaning to growl it. His voice came out weakly and waveringly instead.

"It's _all_ of my fucking business!" Karkat barked, squeezing. Then, his voice dropped. "Why? Is it because of me? Is it something I'm doing wrong? It's all my fucking fault, isn't it?"

"It's a lot of things, Karkat," Sollux sighed, giving up and letting himself rest on the bed. "It's always been a lot of things. Not just you."

"But some of the problem is me, and…" Karkat trailed off. His eyes flicked up to meet Sollux's. He slowly stood, lowering Sollux's hand to the pillow beside his head. Sollux wrinkled his brow as Karkat slid his glasses off and set them aside.

"What are you d-" he began. His voice faltered and he went quiet as Karkat lowered himself and experimentally pecked Sollux's lips. He pulled back a little, lips slightly parted over Sollux's. The morning breath thing was kinda gross, and Sollux's mouth still felt a little funky, but Karkat didn't seem to care.

"Fine. You fucking win. I'll date you."

Sollux's eyes widened, but before he could say anything else, Karkat's lips were on his again. He actually gave him a kiss that time, lips moving against his still ones, little sounds coming from the back of his throat. Sollux moved tentatively at first, then responded a bit more with each passing second. Finally, he wrenched his hand free from Karkat's and clapped his hands on either side of his head. He dragged him in closer and crushed their lips together with every ounce of strength he had.

It was good. Just good. Not amazing, and Sollux believed it had something to do with their breaths.

Or maybe… maybe it was because all he saw while he was kissing Karkat was a purple tuft of hair, a glint of bluish gray eyes, the gleam of swollen red lips.

Karkat pulled away after a long ten minutes of kissing and maybe a tongue slipped in here and there, and his cheeks were bright red.

"I'll dump Nepeta, then we'll date. And you don't have to fucking cut anymore. Never again," Karkat whispered. He lowered his lips to Sollux's cheek and kissed it long and hard. "I'll… I'll love you back, so please…"

Sollux could tell it was a lot for Karkat to say it. That he was probably speaking a line directly from a shitty romance movie because, ironically, Karkat wasn't that great at wooing people. He could tell that Karkat was struggling as he shivered above Sollux.

In the curtain of Karkat's semi-long, wavy hair, they were in private. He really needed a haircut, Sollux noticed.

"This isn't what I want," Sollux finally said. Karkat pulled back, and the curtain of hair pulled away with him. "I want... well, I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything. While I absolutely… I… Karkat, I appreciate it, man. I really do. I just… being happy isn't something that I want for just myself. I want you to be happy, too. I want you to want to um… date me on your own free will. Cutting doesn't… change how you think of me. You wouldn't be happy with me and we'd just end up hurting each other."

Karkat listened in silence as Sollux continued and put his head in his hand. He shook violently, trying to stop the words from pouring out but to no avail.

"A-And I don't want you to date _her_, either, because I know you're not… you don't… you don't want to date her, I can tell, you're jutht… trying to get rid of me, maybe even trying to make me hate you, but I can't… you…"

Sollux's eyes welled up.

"…fuck, you're never gonna have feelingth for me, are you?"

And the tears began to fall, uncontrollably and without an end. They plopped onto the sheets and Sollux shook harder. He was incredibly embarrassed by the whole scene, and he furiously scrubbed at his eyes. The headache and the drugs and the hangover and his exhaustion was making him incredibly emotional. The tears kept coming, and he felt like a little pussy, and everything just sucked. So he held his breath and concentrated hard, re-bottling all of the remaining tears. He couldn't cry in front of Karkat. He had to be strong for him, and if Karkat ever decided to return his feelings, Sollux had to be the one he could depend on.

"You can cry, you know," Karkat said quietly. "I'm not… shit, we've known each other for forever, you're like a fucking brother to me. You don't have to be a badass _all_ the time."

"Shut your mouth, I'm not a puthhy, I mean pussy." Sollux snapped, pinching his lips together and turning away for a second to gather himself. Holy shit he had never wanted to cry so bad in his life. "I don't do that sthit, okay? I mean, shit."

Karkat was silent.

"Do you think you'll be in here for much longer?"

"I don't think tho… so."

"I'm going to go get something to eat, then," Karkat said quietly. "Want me to sneak back with some shitty hospital food?"

Sollux recalled a time in their childhood when Karkat had broken his arm while they were rough-housing at the top of a slide on a playground Karkat's parents had brought them to. Karkat had been in the hospital, and Sollux had snuck food from the cafeteria up to Karkat's room. It was a fond memory that Sollux looked upon warmly.

A memory specifically for bros, not lovers.

"Yeah. Get as much shit as you can carry," Sollux finally said. Karkat's lips upturned ever so slightly before he stood, punched Sollux in the arm, and walked out of the room. As he rubbed his shoulder, Sollux thought silently to himself. Maybe… ugh, he'd think about it later.

He lowered his bed and turned over, then curled into a tight little ball. His eyelids were heavy already, emotionally exhausted. Before he knew it, the comfort of having a best bro to look after him lulled him back to sleep.

He dreamt of tufts of purple hair, calloused hands, and cold-lipped kisses.


	27. Chapter 27

**Okay! Sorry for the delay, guys. I had a bunch of stuff to do this week that put me way behind schedule!**

**Congratulations to the winners of the Eridan's Choice Ass contest - first place went to _puridan_, second place went to _gilwing_, and third place went to _waywardmonster_. All three of these wonderful artists can be found on tumblr under the same names. If you would like to see the winning pieces, it is the first post on http: / / sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/eridanschoiceass. All three pieces were extraordinarily well-done, and I was very honored to have such great pieces contributed to OHAC. Truly a wonderful job, guys! As the first place winner, puridan's art will be featured in the AO3 version of OHAC, which will be put up sometime tonight, depending on when I get answers back from other artists whose works will be featured. **

**Again, thank you very much to all contestants. This contest was an absolute blast, and I hope to have another in the near future. :)**

***Mild trigger warning for descriptions of self inflicted pain***

**Also, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to two wonderful friends of mine - Amelia and Danny. You'll know the message when you see it.  
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**Anyway, enjoy~!**

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><p>[Chapter 27]<p>

He was released from the hospital later on that very same day, and he was fine except for the hangover and throbbing head. When he got home, Sollux climbed under the covers and just hid there after taking a few ibuprofen. He had taken them without eating first, so of course he inconveniently got the worst fucking stomachache in the history of mankind.

So he lied under the blankets, groaning and hissing in his pain. Karkat made him shut up every once and a while with a smack or a punch, but he got right back to whining and whimpering about it at the end.

And then, at around seven at night, there was a knock at the door.

From under the blankets, Sollux's eyes snapped open, then narrowed. He curled in a little more.

"Karkat."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Nepeta's not… Nepeta's not coming over today, is she?"

"She comes over pretty much every day, unannounced. Fucking get used to it."

"Dude, not today, come on," Sollux groaned, throwing the blankets off his head. "I can't deal with this shit right now."

"Well, she's already here. Just ignore her."

For once, Sollux wished he hadn't completely obliterated the iPod his uncle had given him. He growled to himself and buried himself underneath his blankets once more, refusing to move when Karkat opened the door and the squealing ensued. He heard Karkat let out a nervous laugh when Nepeta cooed and fawned all over him. Sollux gnawed his lip in irritation and listened as Karkat and Equius passed a very short, very awkward conversation back and forth.

"Karkitty, are you ready?" Nepeta asked excitedly. Sollux could hear her hopping around. Karkat let out another nervous chuckle.

"Uh, yeah. You didn't have to get so dressed up, Nepeta. It's just the movies."

Sollux clenched his fists around the blankets he was holding tightly around his body. Oh, so he could swear and jeer at Sollux all he wanted, but when it came to Nepeta, he was pleasant?

"I know, but I just looooove spending time with you, Karkitty!"

"Ha… I told you to stop calling me that. Haha…"

"Why? I think it suits you! You're just like a kitty!"

"No I'm not. Heh."

The smile in Karkat's voice practically made Sollux pop a blood vessel.

"Hehe, but you really-"

In a flurry of blankets, Sollux burst out of the cocoon he had made for himself, eyes ablaze with fury. His migraine throbbed, his wrist locked up, and the nausea sitting in his stomach nearly made him lose his lunch.

"Shut _up!_" he exploded. Nepeta, who had been holding Karkat's arm, jumped violently and turned to Sollux, obviously not knowing he had been there. Equius was shocked as well, and didn't move from his place by the door.

Karkat looked absolutely horrified, and Sollux knew it. But he continued anyway, like the idiotic asshole that he was.

"He doesn't fucking like you!" Sollux continued, just as loud. "You're fucking annoying as shit! Grow the hell up, this isn't kindergarten anymore! This is college, and if you expect anyone to like you with all the fucking squealing and screaming, you're fucking wrong!"

Despite her dark skin, she paled as she went rigid and stared at Sollux as if he had just punched her in the jaw.

She looked pretty. Her hair was up in a cute pair of pigtails, and her little forest green dress with the black lacy frills was smooth and complimentary to her body. She was even wearing little black heels. For a split second, Sollux felt bad, but then her eyes welled up and her bottom lip trembled.

Then he felt terrible.

Nepeta let out a great sob and her hands were up by her eyes, curled into little fists as she tried to cover up the mascara already beginning to run down her face. Equius was by her side in a flash, but she pushed his hands away and turned to Karkat.

"Karkat?" she asked, and Sollux knew exactly what she was asking.

Karkat opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again and clenched his fists. Nepeta shook hard before lashing out and shoving Karkat's shoulders away from her. He stumbled back and crashed into the desk chair, pushing it into the desk and jostling the PC tower.

She ran out of the room a second later, brushing past Equius on the way out.

Karkat, who was still recovering from his stumble, looked up just in time for Equius's fist to land a hit to his stomach. Karkat doubled over and hit the ground like a rock, choking and sputtering. Equius, covered in a sheet of sweat, bared his teeth at Sollux before whirling around and chasing Nepeta out the door.

Karkat was still gasping and coughing on the ground when Sollux jumped up from the bed and raced out of the room. He was able to catch up with Equius just in time, and he grabbed his arm to turn him around. Equius, however, was faster. He spun around, and before Sollux even knew what had hit him, he was sent sprawling to the floor with shattered glasses and blood dripping from the space just below his eyebrow.

When he registered that he had been punched in the face, he scrambled to his feet, ready to swing. But Equius was already long gone, and Sollux was left looking pitiful with a pair of broken glasses clenched in his fist.

He wobbled his way back to his dorm, his head spinning. His entire face felt as if it had been hit by a warhammer, and he didn't know where exactly the pain was coming from. All he knew was that he probably had a shard of glass jammed up in his eye, and God _damn_ that fucking _hurt_.

When Sollux closed the door behind him, he saw Karkat sitting in the desk chair. He held his stomach, moaning a bit in pain.

"Are you fucking happy?" Karkat asked, his voice strained. Sollux leaned against the door with his hands behind his back, looking down at the floor and remaining silent. "Really, do you get off on making everyone else around you fucking _miserable?_"

"You didn't like her like that."

"I _know_ I didn't!" Karkat barked, launching himself to his feet and wincing a little. "But it was _my_ responsibility to let her down gently. You don't just fucking _say_ that to a girl, no matter… I… fuck, I can't even _look_ at you!"

"I was just saying what was on everyone's minds."

"_SHE'S A PERSON!_" Karkat bellowed without warning, a vein popping out on his neck. "She's a person, with _real_ feelings and emotions! Do you even _realize_ how much you probably hurt her? What the hell is _wrong_ with you? Do you even understand how having a social life works, or are you _that_ fucking _retarded_?"

Sollux clenched his fists, and Karkat glared back at him with a blood red face, clenched fists, and an enraged spark in his eye.

"Get the fuck out of here," Karkat finally snarled. "Get the fuck out of here and never fucking talk to me again."

Sollux stayed anchored to his spot, feeling the blood begin to dry on his face. Something in Karkat snapped, and he went to the dresser and tore it open. He began throwing Sollux's things out of the drawer and hurling them at his face.

"Go live with your _fucking_ faggot friend! If you're so in love with him, why do you keep fucking interfering with _my_ life?"

Sollux flinched ever so slightly when one of his Converse shoes hit him in the shoulder.

"I thought we were _friends!_" Karkat shrieked, voice cracking partway through. He backed down, teeth gritted. His body visibly shook, but still Sollux said nothing. Then, Karkat gathered up his backpack from beside the desk and slung it over his shoulder. He went to Sollux, passing him. "If you're not out by the time I get back, I'm going to fucking request a room swap with someone else."

Sollux was absolutely still as the door slammed shut harder than it had ever been slammed before. He just stared straight ahead, shocked by the simple fact that, for once, Karkat's threat was _dead serious._

He rushed to the bathroom and tore open the cupboards, not even bothering to shut the door behind him. He searched through cups and little boxes, then tore open the drawer at the sink.

Empty.

Every razor, every pair of trimming scissors, every sharp object was gone.

And then Sollux realized that Karkat had thrown away all of those things, specifically to protect him.

Because he cared _that_ much.

Sollux practically ripped off his wristband (which had been returned to his wrist as soon as possible) and clutched the deep red marks all over his inner wrist. He dug his nails into the jagged ridges and pulled, tearing the skin and staining his fingertips scarlet. Shuddering, he shut his eyes and tried to swallow the nausea, the headache, and all the pain at once.

When he was finished, he released the breath he didn't know he had been holding and looked down at himself.

Disgusting.

Sollux went to the sink and turned on the water, roughly scrubbing the blood off of his wrist and out of his fingernails. Then, he wiped the blood off of his face and dabbed at the wound below his eyebrow. He watched the cloudy red water wash down the sink, then dried himself and reapplied the wristband.

After that, he crammed everything he would need for a week into a couple gym bags that he kept under his bed specifically for crashing at someone else's house.

He was out of the dorm five minutes later, not caring who he blindly bumped into as he charged out of the building and to his truck.

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><p>His steering wheel took him to Eridan's dorm building. It wasn't as if Sollux could've gone far. Without his glasses, it had been extremely difficult to maneuver, and he had ended up remaining in the campus. There, he just stopped in a parking space and put his head down on the wheel. He didn't know how to face Eridan ever since their fight. Usually, he thought to himself, he'd just walk right in with half-assed apologies on his tongue, open arms, etc.<p>

Now he wasn't sure. He had to apologize for so many things. His wrist, the fight, his selfishness. But the more he thought about it, the more he tensed up with worry. Surely Eridan didn't even want to look at him ever again?

For once in his life, he actually gave a damn about what another person would think of him even after he offered his apologies. But then he thought about what Eridan would think if he _didn't_ apologize.

That was why he grew a pair, grabbed his bags, and got out of the truck.

Up on Eridan's floor, Sollux's fists clenched on the handles of his bags, his shoulders hunching up more and more with each step. By the time he was to Eridan's door, he was quite jittery, and could scarcely muster up the courage to put his bags down and knock on the door.

"Eridan?" he asked softly. He put his forehead on the wood surface. "Can you open up, please?"

He put his hand on the handle, squeezing and trying to turn it a little.

"Pleathe?"

"He's at class."

Sollux jumped and turned to see a young woman standing there with her eyebrows furrowed. Just by the way she stood, the way she dressed, and the way she looked at Sollux, he knew that she was just as rich and pampered as Eridan.

And she saw Sollux as nothing but filth.

"Oh, okay," Sollux said, careful to avoid words with an 's' in them. He was too shaken to deal with his lisping. The girl rolled her eyes and brushed past him to the elevator. Once she was gone, Sollux turned around and slid down the door so he could sit down against it. He brought up his knees and hugged them, tapping his toes in his shoes.

He was sure Eridan would turn him away. Absolutely sure. But where else was he supposed to go? He couldn't impose on Dave and John: he always felt as if he was intruding on their private time together. Gamzee, Tavros, and Vriska? No, couldn't risk drinking or smoking anymore. Kanaya and Rose _roomed_ together, so their dorm was probably a gothic love nest full to the brim with weird-smelling incense and weird sticky notes about Rose's crazy wizard Yaoi fanfiction.

So there he was, positioned just outside of Eridan's door like the loser he was. He was far past the point of pitying himself, and the more he dwelled on it, the more hatred bubbled up inside of him. Gritting his teeth, he pulled at the material of his jeans, wishing he'd just keel over and di-

"What the hell are you doin' here?"

Sollux's head snapped up from his knees and he looked up to see Eridan glaring hard at him. The books that he held at his side were brought in closer to him, and his knuckles turned white.

"Eridan, I-" Sollux began.

"I've got a lot of homework tonight, Sol," Eridan grumbled. "So move and just go home."

Sollux stood and kept his head down as he shuffled on his feet.

"I _said_ move. I don't want to talk to you. Frankly, I don't think you deserve to even get looked at by me."

Sollux lifted his left hand a little, and Eridan's nose flared.

"Fuckin' _move!_"

He took off his wristband and outturned his wrist. Eridan took a moment to register what he saw, then his lips parted and his head jerked back a little. His chin trembled a bit as if he was going to say something, and his eyes slowly slid up to look into Sollux's.

"What do I do, now?" Sollux asked, his voice weak. "Pleathe, I-"

For the second time that day, a fist connected with Sollux's face. It wasn't nearly as bad as Equius's hit, but it still completely caught him off guard and holy _shit_ Eridan's fucking rings _hurt_. His face jerked to the side and his hand shot up to cup his cheek, which had gotten the majority of the force of the hit. When he looked at Eridan again, Eridan was staring down at his balled-up fist, looking mildly surprised with himself. But then, he came to his senses and snapped his attention to Sollux.

"What's wrong with you?' Eridan shouted. "Why would you… I…"

Sollux closed his eyes.

"_Why_ would you even do that to yourself?" Eridan asked wildly. "I… you… but… I… do you have _any_ idea how many people love you, Sol? How could you even _do_ that to them? Are you fuckin' _stupid?"_

Eridan panted as Sollux remained silent.

"You're not accomplishin' _anythin'_ by doing this to yourself!"

"It feelth better than half the sthit that goeth on in my life!" Sollux snapped. "It feelth tho much better!"

Eridan's face darkened.

"If you think that cuttin' is the answer to your problems, you're wrong," Eridan muttered. "In the end, it just makes the pain worse. Trust me."

"Oh, and how do _you_ fucking know?" Sollux asked bitterly, squinting.

Eridan's face contorted into a pained scowl.

"If you need an example, I'll gladly show you the scars."

Sollux blinked.

"Huh?"

Eridan changed the subject.

"You can fight it," Eridan said softly, and his voice was suddenly gentle. "Sometimes you won't be able to an' you won't be able to stop it. But you _can_ fight it, I promise. _Especially_ you. There are people out there, Sol. People who have it _way_ worse than you do. Don't you think that's reason enough to stop? If you think about the fact that things aren't nearly as bad as another person's situation, you can feel better. You're here gettin' a good education in a prestigious school, you've got good grades, friends who love you, an' even though your biological family doesn't seem to care… well, does it matter who your family is as long as they love you? Kar's family sounds like they love the shit out of you, an' it's not fair to them that you're doin' this to yourself."

Eridan took up Sollux's wrist and smirked.

"You're bein' a pathetic little baby, Sol. It's time to buck up and accept the fact that you've got it pretty fuckin' good despite some of the unfortunate positions you're in. It's time to grow the fuck up."

Sollux watched quietly as Eridan looked back down at Sollux's wrist and just studied it.

"This is fresh. Was this today?" Eridan asked, very gently tapping the red flap of skin that hadn't been torn off. Sollux felt sick to his stomach.

"Yeah."

"Mm," Eridan hummed thoughtfully. His thumbs traced over the ridges of the cuts. "Now, Sol… these aren't… because of me, are they?"

"That'th a tiny part of the reathon, but a lot of it had nothing to do with you," Sollux mumbled, looking down again and feeling humiliated.

"Oh, Sol," Eridan sighed. "Do you realize how unbelievably childish this is?"

Sollux winced.

"There will be scars here for the rest of your life, you know," Eridan continued. "You're going to look at them one day an' you'll see them an' be reminded of your weaknesses. You'll regret it. In the end, it's just… Sol, there's not a single thing that will benefit you from doin' this. If you stop now, it won't be as bad as it could be."

"But I-"

"It hurts, doesn't it? Life," Eridan chuckled. He looked down. "Yeah, I uh… I know it does. I know it well. But if you just give up an' do stupid shit like this, aren't you losin' the battle to the very thing you hate? If you're the strong pessimist that I know you to be, then you'd want to fight back against the idiots, against the world, against the government, an' against the conformists. You're negative because you're smart. You see all of the sick shit that goes on in this world because you're smart an' you see past all the bullshit. You're wastin' your intelligence. Doin' this to yourself is like givin' up. Throwin' in the towel. You're bendin' to the very forces you hate, Sol."

Eridan dropped Sollux's wrist and looked at him with a completely straight face.

"An' I don't associate myself with weak people. I know it's not healthy for me to surround myself with people like that, an' I don't. I'm willin' to give up everthin' to keep myself away from weakness. Even _you_."

Sollux held his wrist and quivered like a leaf.

"I'll thtop," he whispered.

"Stop lispin'."

Sollux swallowed hard.

"I'll… ssthsstop."

Eridan smiled a bit.

"There. Look, Sol. We've all got our weaknesses. We all do stupid shit an' we all cry like babies from time to time. However, those things don't make us weak people. It makes us _human_. But givin' in like this is goin' too far. There are other ways to get rid of the pain."

"Like what?" Sollux asked almost frantically. Eridan's lips twitched.

"That's up to you to find out."

There was a long, awkward pause as Eridan and Sollux just looked at each other. Finally, Eridan just gently bumped Sollux out of the way and went to the door.

"Go home, Sol. Sleep on what I said an'…" Eridan trailed off. He smiled a bit sadly at nothing in particular. "An'… let's just go our separate ways, okay?"

"What do you mean?" Sollux asked, his heart sinking.

"We're not as compatible as I thought we'd be. Why like someone who loves another person, hm?"

Eridan twisted the door handle, quickly realizing that he hadn't even unlocked it yet.

"I'm not weak, an' I'm not desperate, so…" Eridan trailed off. "I don't even know why I liked you in the first place, to be honest. You're really the biggest prick I've ever met. An' you eat all my food an'… stare at my ass all the time. An' don't even deny it, I know you do."

Eridan hissed a curse as his shaking hand tried to align the key with the keyhole.

"So just go home," he finally said. "I'll… say hi to you in the halls or… whatever."

"For all that talk about how thtrong _you_ are and how weak _I_ am," Sollux began slowly. Just as Eridan got the key in the keyhole, he stepped in close beside him and put his hand on top of his over the doorknob. "I don't think you're being very brave right now. Or honetht, frankly."

"…Why the fuck do you do things that make me forgive you so easily?" Eridan whispered after a long silence, his hand clenching under Sollux's.

"Becauthe I'm the biggetht fucking lother on the planet," Sollux murmured. "I'm pathetic, and you pity me."

"Pity," Eridan snorted. "I… I fuckin' hate your guts."

"Karkat kicked me out."

The suddenness of it obviously took Eridan by surprise. It took him a moment for him to snap his head to the side to face Sollux, then another moment to realize just how close their faces were.

"…What?"

Sollux nodded.

"I did thomething really fucking thtupid, Eridan. I fucked up bad."

"Oh, so this is what this visit was about?" Eridan asked in a low growl. "Moochin' off of me, eh?"

"That'th only part of it. You were the only perthon I could go to."

Eridan drew his bottom lip into his mouth and nibbled it a bit.

"What happened?"

"I fucked up hith relationsthip with hith girlfriend."

Eridan stared.

"You are the biggest fuckin' idiot I have ever met. You honestly disgust me. You're a fuckin' disgustingly terrible person."

"I know."

"But… you realize what you did wrong. An' you feel remorse for it. An' you're not tryin' to justify the unjustifiable. So I forgive you, even though I have no idea what happened. But I bet it hurt. Looks like you got your glasses broken by someone? Did Karkat punch you in the face?"

"No. Hith… His girlfriend's cousin did," Sollux replied, swallowing his lisp once more once he realized that he was very able to control it. He wondered why he hadn't done it sooner. "Do I have a black eye?"

"Kinda. Looks like it's gonna be a nasty shiner in the mornin'."

Eridan let his books drop to the ground. He wriggled his hand out from between Sollux's hand and the doorknob, then turned to reach up and touch his face. His thumb brushed over Sollux's damaged eye.

"I'll ask again," Sollux began in a soft voice. "…What do I do now?"

"Well, I suppose you have to spend the night here again. But if you think I'm lettin' you sleep anywhere near me, you're fuckin' dumb. You're sleepin' on the _couch_."

"I'm okay with that," Sollux said. "Just… don't let me be alone."

Eridan's eyes flicked warily down to Sollux's lacerated wrist. He looked back up.

"Wasn't plannin' on it. I won't tolerate any kind of cuttin' in my dorm. Blood stains carpet. Especially white carpet. Feel free to chop your fuckin' hand off somewhere other than my dorm."

"Well, I need to be a strong person if I want to associate myself with you, right?" Sollux asked. Eridan's brows furrowed.

"…What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Eridan's hand returned to the doorknob, and he tensed a bit as if he was about to flee the scene. To assure that that didn't happen, Sollux's hand returned to rest on Eridan's on the handle. He leaned in close.

"I like you too, Eridan."

Three things happened all at once that Sollux would snicker about for years to come. First, Eridan froze, then he looked up and gave Sollux some crazy fucked up scrunched up face thing, and finally he sucked in a huge breath of air as his eyes practically bugged right out of his sockets.

"You-You're a f-f-f-f-fuckin' _liar!_" Eridan spluttered. His entire face turned red. "I can't _believe_ you would even joke abou_mmmnmnnph_-!"

Eridan's hand shot out from underneath Sollux's on the doorknob to join the other at his chest, where Eridan grabbed at Sollux's shirt and half-pulled, half-pushed at him. He pinched his lips shut tightly against Sollux's, trying to turn his head away.

Sollux pulled away and rolled his eyes.

"For the love of Jesus Christ, Eridan, open your mouth."

Eridan scowled through his hipster glasses, which had been knocked askew.

"W-Well…! You didn't even let me take off my glasses. Let me take off my fuckin' glasses, for fuck's sake."

Eridan took off his glasses and folded them neatly, then looked up at Sollux. He had a pained expression for a split second, as if he was holding himself back.

"Fuck it," he breathed, and he lurched forward and threw his arms around Sollux's neck. Their lips met with crushing force, and that time they kissed _right_. Sollux backed Eridan into the door, hands grabbing at Eridan's hips and pulling them flush against him. Eridan let out a muffled whine and tore himself away, panting. "…Oh Cod, I-"

"Shut up and get back to kissing," Sollux murmured against Eridan's jaw, where he was nipping a bit at the moistened skin.

"B-But I thought you were… you were upset about Karkat."

"I am. But because I'm here, I…" Sollux trailed off and pulled away. He bumped his forehead against Eridan's for a brief moment. "Being here with… uh, with you, takes away from all of the stupid bullshit going on."

Eridan frowned.

"So that's what I am, a stress relieve-"

"No," Sollux snapped. "Dude, no. You're relieving stress _because_ I like you. I don't like you because you relieve stress."

"Then why do you like me?" Eridan asked. Sollux pondered for moment.

"I… I don't fucking know, okay? Jesus, last time I checked, liking someone didn't have to have a reason. I just fucking like you, okay? Is it really such a crime to not have a reason?"

"…No…" Eridan whispered, eyeing Sollux's lips again. "Can we…?"

Before Eridan had a chance to finished, Sollux kissed him again, one hand slipping up to his ribs and making him shudder. The other hand slipped down to his ass and squeezed, drawing small grunts from Eridan's chest. Sollux drew Eridan's bottom lip in between his teeth and bit a little before running his tongue over the smooth flesh. Eridan huffed and cautiously opened his mouth for Sollux's tongue to slide in and attempt to take control.

It was harder than he thought. Eridan wasn't quite so easy to subdue, but before long, the amount of experience on Sollux's end got the better of Eridan. His tongue willingly slid and twisted to the rhythm of Sollux's, steadily getting faster and faster. For a moment, their lips parted for a few seconds for Sollux to tilt his head in the opposite direction, and they both took a second to pant and gasp for breath as their tongues continued to move between them.

Sollux's hand slipped back down Eridan's ribcage and to his hip, then took an unexpected turn inwards. Hand slipping between their bodies, he slipped it between Eridan's legs and slowly dragged his palm upwards.

Eridan threw his head back and let out a loud moan, only to slap his hand over his mouth and shiver. Sollux glanced at him, running his tongue over his own swollen bottom lip.

"You alright?"

"What are you doin'?" Eridan asked breathlessly, uncontrollably rolling his hips to grind into Sollux's hand.

"You know exactly what."

Eridan knitted his eyebrows, and Sollux sighed. He brought his lips in close to Eridan's ear and kissed it.

"We don't have to go all the way. I won't force you to do a single thing," Sollux breathed into his ear. "Eridan…"

He squeezed a little and Eridan hissed, clawing at Sollux's shoulders. He finally cupped Sollux's cheeks in his hands and dragged his face up to meet his eyes. He was breathing through his mouth, his breaths shallow and his lips bright red. His eyelids had lowered, his hair was tousled, and his cheeks were flushed.

Holy shit. _Hot_.

"Let's go inside," Eridan panted after swallowing hard. His hands knotted in Sollux's hair. "I want it."


	28. Chapter 28

**Enjoy 8,D**

**EDIT:: Oh! I forgot to mention. SOLLUX'S SEXY SMOLDER CONTEST! More information at http: / /tmblr(dot)co/ZTXRawGjR0iw or sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/ssscontest  
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><p>[Chapter 28]<p>

They crashed into the dorm, dropping their bags and books on the mat in front of the door. Sollux was sure to shut the door behind him, and they were cast into darkness. Eridan's coat hit the floor first, then his scarf, then Sollux's jacket.

_Thud._

"_Ow!_ Watch it, Sol, that was the fuckin' _table!_"

"Shut the hell up, you know the dorm better than I do."

"I'm gonna turn a light on, it's fuckin' dark in he- oooooooh _yes_, do that againnnnmmm…"

"Keep it off."

"I don't even know where the fuck we're goin'."

"I think we're-"

Eridan yelped as both he and Sollux toppled over the armrest of the couch. They landed on the cushions in a heap, legs entangling and fingers knotting in tufts of hair.

"Oh Cod," Eridan panted as Sollux pushed him into the pillows and hovered over him. His hands trailed down his front, popping the buttons on his button-up shirt. "Sol, Sol…"

The quiver in Eridan's voice made Sollux grin a little, and with one hand he went to the dip in Eridan's waist to give his side a comforting stroke. His other hand kept busily opening Eridan's shirt with a skilled flip of his thumb and forefinger. Eridan's hands shot to his shoulders and tugged a bit at his shirt. Sollux sat up and peeled his shirt off, then threw it across the room. Eridan's nails lightly scratched down his chest the moment his bare skin was revealed, but Sollux didn't give him long to touch.

He lowered himself onto Eridan, holding him just under his ribcage as he pressed a small peck to the center of his chest. He veered to the right and kissed his way up the slight rise of skin leading to Eridan's nipple, and there he passed his thumb over it before taking it into his mouth and nibbling it.

"Holy _shit_," Eridan hissed under his breath, moving Sollux's bangs out of his face over and over. Sollux dragged his tongue up and over the pink bud, sighing before moving back down and clamping his lips on it once more. His hand found its way up Eridan's torso to tease the other nipple. He rolled it with his forefinger and his middle finger, pulling slightly in time to the licking and biting Sollux was doing to the opposite nipple. Eridan tensed below him. He sounded as if he was desperately trying to regulate his breathing, but to no avail. He shifted under Sollux, and the front of his pants brushed against Sollux's bare abdomen.

"Holy fuck," Sollux laughed, releasing Eridan's nipples to look down. "Happy to see me?"

"Fuck off."

"No, it's fine," Sollux chuckled. He grabbed Eridan's hand and brought it down. "I'm hard, too."

When he held Eridan's hand to his clothed erection, Eridan went rigid. In the darkness he heard rustling, and he knew Eridan was staring up at him in shock.

"Oh… _oh_. Oh my _Cod_."

"Not what you expected?"

"…I could've sworn that you'd have a pencil dick."

_Smack. _

"_OW_, Sol!"

"Fuck you. It's pretty much a rule of thumb that nerds are well hung. Pff, pencil dick. Are you fucking _kidding_ me?"

"You're a fuckin' _toothpick_!"

"How 'bout you just shut up and keep doing what you're doing. _Mmm_."

"…Oh. You… You like it when I do that, Sol?"

"Ssss_fuck_ yes."

Before Eridan's clumsy groping could go further, Sollux wriggled out of his grasp and lowered himself again, trailing kisses lower and lower until he got to Eridan's navel. There, he ran his tongue through the line of soft hairs leading down from his bellybutton to the waistline of his skinny jeans. Sollux felt Eridan's hand knot in his hair and pull, making him hiss.

"Wait, Sol!"

Sollux looked up a little with a slightly irritated grunt, his tongue still making circles around Eridan's bellybutton.

"_What?_"

"I… I wanna shower first," he said, his voice nervous. Sollux looked up completely, raising his head.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Sol, come on. _Please_."

"Ugh…"

"I'll be quick, I promise."

Eridan clapped twice and the lights came up. His face and chest were flushed deep red, and the lump in his jeans looked quite painful. Sollux stared down at him, hungrily taking in the sight of his opened shirt and mussed up hair. Eridan sat up and pulled his shirt together again, averting his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, getting to his feet. "Will you uh… you'll still be here when I get back, right?"

"Of course," Sollux said, lifting an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I be? I've wanted this for a long time."

"…Okay."

With that, Eridan rushed to the bathroom. Sollux heard the water turn on and he sighed, sitting up. Leaning against the armrest, he cross his legs and rested his hand on the bulge in his pants, which he absentmindedly rubbed. Humming, he tipped his head back against the back of the couch and waited.

And waited.

And _waited_.

When the door finally opened again, Eridan emerged clad in a white robe, which he held tightly around himself as he kept looking anywhere but Sollux.

"Jesus Christ, what were you _doing_ in there?" Sollux asked incredulously. Eridan's face turned beet red and he squirmed.

"It's none of your fuckin' business. I was… yeah, it's none of your business."

Sollux thought for a long moment.

Then it hit him.

Oh.

_Oh._

"Oh, you were… you were… weren't you?" Sollux asked softly. Eridan cringed.

"Ugh, don't fuckin' say it, it's embarrassin' enough as it is."

Eridan put his face in his hands.

"Dude, Eridan, I don't care. Enemas ar-"

"_I_ _said don't fuckin' say it!_"

"Eridan… we're not going to go all the way tonight. I don't even have a condom, let alone lube. I mean, fuck. Why would you go through the trouble?"

"I get nervous," Eridan said quietly. "It's just in case… just in case we do end up doin' somethin'."

"Well I appreciate the thought, Eridan," Sollux said somewhat awkwardly. Eridan still look uncomfortable. "I… the last guy I had sex with cleaned it, too. It's not something to be ashamed about. Now c'mere."

Eridan wrinkled his nose a little before cautiously going to Sollux. Sollux received him and took him by the hips, running his hands up and down to feel the curve of his body through his robe. His hands slipped back and he ran up Eridan's thighs and over his ass. Admiring its shape and firm yet plush feel, Sollux squeezed and kneaded at it. He enjoyed the labored breathing he heard from overhead, and when he applied some pressure to a certain sensitive spot through the robe, Eridan sharply gasped and grabbed Sollux's hair.

"Can we turn the lights off?" Eridan panted quietly.

"But I want to be able to see you," Sollux complained, looking back up at Eridan as his hands came back around to work the knot of the sash holding the robe together. Eridan grabbed his hands and stopped them from going further.

"Please, Sol. I…"

Sollux paused and looked up. Eridan was looking back down at him with a humiliated expression on his face.

"You…?" Sollux trailed off suggestively. Eridan let out a nervous snort and looked away.

"You don't… you don't deserve to be able to see… uh-"

"Oh, you're uncomfortable with your body," Sollux said. "I assure you, there's absolutely _nothing_ wrong with this body of yours."

"…Fuck you."

Sollux laughed.

"Well, it's your choice," he said. "I'm not going to judge you for anything, but if it makes you feel comfortable, then go for it. I just want enough light to know what I'm doing. You could turn the fireplace on or something and turn everything else off. I'd be fine with that."

Eridan silently moved out of Sollux's arms and went to the fireplace. Sollux knew that the dorm was rigged to turn the lights on and off when clapping was heard, but he didn't question Eridan. The guy was strangely self conscious when it came to his body- but only when he was undressing. Sollux lifted an eyebrow in thought.

When the fireplace had been turned on, Eridan went to the light switch and slowly dragged his fingers down, dimming and then turning the lights off completely. They were cast into the glow of the fireplace.

"How romantic," Sollux commented under his breath. Somehow Eridan heard him, and he let out a snarl.

"Shut up."

"Then get back over here."

That time, Sollux didn't allow there to be any interruptions. His hands tugged at Eridan's sash for a few moments, trying to untie it. In the end, Eridan roughly smacked his hands away and just parted the top of his robe a little. Sollux momentarily forgot about the sash and leaned forward on the couch to pull Eridan's hips in and press wet kisses to his exposed navel. Gasping, Eridan clutched Sollux's hands on his hips and seemed to try and stop himself from bucking too much. However, with every kiss, his body pitched forward a bit more and more until Sollux felt Eridan's erection bump against the base of his throat. He pulled away from the reddened skin to find his dick tenting the front of his robe. Curiosity got the better of him, and he reached through the opening of his robe and blindly touched him.

Eridan's reaction was, unsurprisingly, one of shock. He jerked his hips out of the way. Sollux murmured a few incoherent words of encouragement and, unsure of whether or not Eridan heard him, held Eridan in place with his free hand.

Sollux had no idea what Eridan had been so shocked about when he had felt his package. In fact, he was surprised himself. Eridan was just the right size for his body type, just the right thickness and just the right length. It curved upward in a lazy swoop, and was already slick at the head where precum had gathered.

Unlike the rest of Eridan's body, it was _very_ warm.

Eridan didn't seem to know how to react when Sollux wrapped his fingers around him and began to lightly tug. At first, he was tense, didn't move, didn't utter a sound. He just stood there, breathing hard through his nose, pinching his lips together.

Sollux was glad that none of the guys Eridan had brought home had had sex with him. Because if Sollux didn't know him well enough, he would've just laughed his ass off at Eridan's face and body language, humiliated him, and then he would've gone home. But he knew the context of Eridan's struggle to relax. He knew this was the first time Eridan had been touched there by a man's hand, the first time he had ever been touched there _period_, even.

So he took it slow, moving his hand at a predictable tempo. He was careful to avoid overstimulation and, before long, Eridan let out a sigh and just let things happen. His voice began to react more and, at crawling speed, Sollux learned what Eridan did and didn't like based on the grunts and moans he made. He learned his testicles were just kind of an awkward spot, but he enjoyed the occasional nudge against them with Sollux's knuckles. He learned that the inner part of his thighs was deliciously sensitive, and that he practically melted every time Sollux ghosted over the head of his dick with his thumb.

"Is this all you want me to do?" Sollux asked, pausing for a moment to look up at Eridan, who looked dazed and confused about the sudden lack of movement.

"Huh…?"

"Do you just want me to jerk you off or what? I'm asking about what you're comfortable with."

Eridan came to his senses a little.

"You're being awfully nice," he commented softly. Sollux's lips quirked.

"It's your first time. It takes a while to get used to. I won't be so nice next time."

At that, Eridan blushed hard and opened his mouth to question things, but when Sollux stroked him again, he just groaned and let his head loll to the side.

"I…I don't know," Eridan admitted.

"Here," Sollux said, pulling his hands away and going back to untie Eridan's robe sash. "Let's take this off."

They sat in awkward silence as Sollux fussed with the knot, but when it finally came undone, Eridan sucked in a huge breath. He seemed reluctant to let the robe slip away, but by Sollux's coaxing hand, he finally allowed it to slide off of his arms and flutter to the floor behind him. Sollux took an absentminded minute to just stare at Eridan's body. He took in the muscles in his upper body, the taut abs that clenched and spasmed in his arousal, and the healthy curve of his hips.

He was a lot thinner that Sollux had expected, though. Despite his obvious strength, he was lean, almost dainty. Perhaps even fragile. But somehow, it didn't take away from the attractiveness of his muscles, and the masculinity of the honey blonde pubic hairs that rung around his cock. It didn't take away from his lush ass, either.

Sollux snorted.

"_What?_" Eridan blurted loudly, immediately dropping into defensive mode. "What's so fuckin' funny?"

"Nothing," Sollux said hastily, looking up. "It's just that I could've sworn that you dyed your hair blonde."

"It's not _blonde_, it's light brown. Cod."

"Same difference. But the carpet matches the drapes."

Eridan thought for a moment before his face turned scarlet.

"H-Holy shit! Just stop fuckin' starin' at me an' _do_ somethin', this is so fuckin' awkward, Sol!"

"Alright, alright. Jesus, calm your tits."

With that, Sollux wrapped his arms around Eridan's waist and swung him down onto the couch. Eridan hit the cushions with a yelp, but didn't try to get away when Sollux picked up his leg and put it back down on his opposite side. He settled between Eridan's legs and ground his still-clothed erection into Eridan's, rutting against it just a bit.

"Ever heard of frotting?" Sollux asked, his voice slightly husky with his own arousal.

"…No," Eridan whispered, eyes locked on Sollux's pants. He reached down and questioningly played with the belt.

"Yeah, go ahead, babe," Sollux rasped, straightening and pushing his hips forward so Eridan could fumble with the belt buckle. "Frotting is about as simple as it gets. It's easy and pretty low-key."

"Oh… o-okay," Eridan said nervously, finally figuring out how to work Sollux's belt off. He let it fall to the floor with a clatter, then shakily reached back up and struggled to undo the button.

"_Mmm_," Sollux hummed as encouragement. Eridan controlled his nerves a bit and unbuttoned Sollux's pants. Sollux hooked his thumbs on the waist and pushed them down to his mid-thighs. His black boxers went down next.

Eridan gnawed his lip and just _stared_ at it.

"Take a picture, why don't you?" Sollux murmured lowly. "Relax, this won't be the last time you see it."

Eridan's shoulders hunched instantly.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

Sollux gave Eridan one of his smoldering smiles.

"You think I'll be done with you after one night?"

Eridan looked halfway between just yelling at Sollux to get the hell off of him and moaning in want. So he just kind of did both and growled up at Sollux. Sollux accepted it graciously and leaned down over Eridan, his hand slipping between them.

The curves of their dicks made them fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces. Sollux wrapped his hand around both and began to pump as he simultaneously rocked his hips. The slippery, wet friction between them was absolutely glorious, and Sollux just couldn't help tossing his head back and groaning at the wall behind them.

Eridan seemed to be enjoying himself off in his own world, incoherently gasping Sollux's name, clawing at the throw pillow beneath his head, and dragging his teeth over his bottom lip. His back arched just like Sollux thought it would, with sexy grace that he had originally thought existed only in pornos. The artery in his neck was visibly throbbing with his quickened heartbeat, and his adam's apple trembled with every suppressed moan that he desperately held back.

But when Sollux squeezed, they both sucked in a gasp and cried out at the same time, Eridan's cry sounding more like a high-pitched, breathy squeal, and Sollux's a cut off groan.

Three minutes in, Eridan's body was tensing and his abdomen jerked and clenched spasmodically. He was getting very vocal, and as the sweat rolled down the sides of his forehead and the sides of his chest, he threw his head back and cried out again with a mixture of curses and Sollux's name and more curses.

His hips bucked against Sollux's, silently pleading him to go faster and to squeeze harder. Sollux did just that, and in a flash, Eridan's arms were around his neck, his hand yanking Sollux's hair.

Sollux pushed him down, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Eridan's moans were right in his ear.

"_Haa_, ah, ah, _ahmm_, hnn, nn, _ahh…!_"

The clumsiness and the lack of rhythm to the sounds Eridan was making told Sollux that he was close. It told him that he really didn't know how to handle all of the electricity shooting through his body and the heat radiating from their desperate indulgences in each other.

Sollux wasn't quite sure to handle it either. So he did the next best thing.

He opened his mouth and sank his teeth into Eridan's shoulder.

Eridan let out a strangled cry and thrust his hips up as close as he could get to Sollux's, cumming hard into his hand and onto both of their stomachs. Sollux pumped their joined cocks as fast as he could to help Eridan ride out his orgasm. He had a surprising amount in him, and it was thick and sticky and solid white, telling Sollux that Eridan hadn't even masturbated lately.

When Eridan was finished, he slumped against the couch and released Sollux, his eyes shut and his brows furrowed, his lips quivering in the wake of his orgasm. He whimpered and moaned a bit, one hand reaching down to give his softening dick a few more strokes with his fingertips.

Sollux gently moved his leg back so both were on one side, then scooped them up onto his arm and squeezed Eridan's legs together.

"What are you doin'?" Eridan breathed, covering one eye with the back of his free hand.

"I didn't cum yet," Sollux murmured back. Eridan watched as Sollux aligned his still-hard erection with the back of his thighs. Sollux pushed in, his shaft just barely dipping in between Eridan's ass cheeks.

"Oh Cod," Eridan whispered, chewing his bottom lip as Sollux moved between his thighs and pulled his legs closer together.

"Yessss," Sollux hissed. He grabbed at Eridan's ass and thighs, squeezing and just enjoying the way they yielded to his fingertips. He loved the way that Eridan's cum on his hand smeared all over Eridan's hip and leg, making it shine. Tipping his head back, he let out a loud moan and began to thrust, his skin slapping against Eridan's.

When he looked down, Eridan was watching him in silence, stroking himself and just taking a quiet interest in the way Sollux gasped and panted and the way his hips rolled a little every time he thrust himself between Eridan's thighs.

"Fuck, _Eridan_!" Sollux gasped without warning, thrusting hard once more and trembling as he came. His seed coated Eridan's inner thighs, and when Sollux pulled out to pump himself through his orgasm, it dribbled down onto Eridan's ass and slid down the crease between his cheeks.

When he finished, he shakily let Eridan's legs slide out of his grasp. Eridan moved one leg so it was back on Sollux's opposite side, giving him the chance to fall forward onto his chest. He panted there for a few minutes, his hips still giving the occasional jerk as Eridan gathered him under his chin.

They lied there quietly for a while. Eridan busied himself with wrapping his arms around Sollux's head and kissing his hair over and over, and Sollux shut his eyes as he let his body relax in Eridan's hold.

After a while, Sollux was feeling a little suffocated, so he wriggled out of Eridan' s hold and moved up a little to kiss his lips. Eridan kissed back lazily, his clean hand coming up to cup Sollux's cheek.

"How was it?" Sollux asked with a soft voice when they pulled away. Eridan blinked tiredly up at him.

"…_Wow_."

Sollux let out a chuckle and laid his head back down on Eridan's chest. Eridan rubbed his back a little, his fingertips dancing up and down his spine.

"…Sol?"

"Mm?"

"Are we… uh…"

Sollux looked up to see that Eridan was struggling with his words.

"Say it, Eridan."

Eridan flicked his eyes to Sollux's and searched his pupils for a second.

"Sol, are we a thing now?"

"Oh," Sollux said. He cleared his throat. "You mean like… dating?"

"Like boyfriends, yeah."

Sollux sighed.

"Uh… Eridan, I still need some time to work through things. I'm still shaken by what happened with Karkat. I hope you understand."

"But…" Eridan trailed off. He looked hurt.

"Eridan," Sollux said. He reached up and took Eridan's face in his hand, stroking the skin below his eye with his thumb. He looked Eridan straight in the eye. "I like you. I promise you, I do. I just need some time to get things sorted out. As soon as they're sorted, I'll ask you out. If you don't believe me, well… well, Eridan, you're just going to have to trust me anyway. Just give me some time."

"You're sure you like me back?" Eridan asked after a long pause. For a split second, he looked vulnerable and afraid. Sollux remembered his luck with Feferi, with other guys he brought home, with anyone that he ever loved, really.

"I'm sure," Sollux said confidently.

"If this is a dream I'm goin' to be so fuckin' mad," Eridan half-laughed, half-grumbled, covering his eyes with his hand. "I'm… I'm so tired of dreamin' about it."

"Hey, come on," Sollux coaxed as Eridan's face contorted. "Don't do that."

He kissed Eridan's cheeks.

But Eridan flung his arms around Sollux's neck and kissed his lips, the happy tears on his eyelashes wetting Sollux's cheeks a little.


	29. Chapter 29

***Mild trigger warning for descriptions of self inflicted pain***

* * *

><p>[Chapter 29]<p>

Somehow they ended up dressed and in Eridan's bed. After they had taken their post-orgasm doze, they got up to take showers (one at a time, much to Sollux's disappointment), grabbed a few bites to eat out of the fridge, then slipped into some pajamas for bed. Eridan, unsurprisingly, hadn't allowed Sollux to climb into his bed naked and had ordered that he at least wear some sweatpants. So Sollux did, sans the boxers because fuck that he wasn't going to sleep in a hot bedroom with a hot guy in a bed with a heated blanket with any more than his pants on.

Eridan, however, dressed as if he was going to sleep outside in a tent in the middle of the next ice age, complete with a long-sleeved button-up plaid pajama shirt and -Sollux's favorite- the whale-printed flannel bottoms.

They fell asleep amongst the pillows after a short argument as to who was going to spoon the other. The argument quickly dissipated after Sollux brought up the point that he was the warmest of them both, and would be more comfortable if he was the big spoon. Eridan grumbled a little, but seemed to enjoy the way Sollux held him close to his chest from behind with one arm draped over his waist.

Then Eridan complained that Sollux's dick was invading his ass's personal space, so Eridan ended up on his back with Sollux resting his head on his chest. Sollux wouldn't admit it, but he felt pretty content with Eridan's arm holding him close by the shoulders. While they just lied there waiting for sleep, Eridan stroked Sollux's hair, combing his fingers through the soft locks and twirling it around his fingers. Sollux let out low hums, his throat vibrating against Eridan's chest, and Eridan would sigh or hum back. This continued for a long while before Sollux drifted to sleep. Whether Eridan fell asleep before or after him, he didn't know.

But for the first time in a long time, he was okay.

It didn't last. At around three in the morning, Sollux was abruptly woken up by one of the worst nightmares he had had in a long time. Launching up into a sitting position, he panted hard as cold sweat poured down his face and back. He didn't remember much.

But he remembered enough.

His uncle, white hot pain, Eridan.

Eridan on the floor, bleeding out. Karkat screaming in his face.

_Your fault, it's all your fault. I never want to talk to you again. I hate you, I hate you. Just kill yourself. I hate you._

The migraine came fast and hard, making spots appear before his eyes. Squeezing his eyes shut and folding in on himself a little, Sollux grabbed his left wrist and held it close to him. It stung and itched, the scabs and dried blood feeling tight on his skin. It _burned_.

Sollux glanced down at Eridan, who was sleeping peacefully. In the dim, purple night light (apparently Eridan didn't like the dark very much), Sollux could see his hair curled against the pillow, his slack jaw, his palms open on either side of his head, his long eyelashes resting against his cheeks.

He clenched his fists and slid out of the bed. As quietly as he could, he crept across the carpeted floor to the door.

"…Sol?"

Sollux froze at the door, his hand on the knob. He looked over his shoulder to see Eridan rubbing his eyes and stretching.

"…Yeah?" Sollux answered when Eridan didn't drift back to sleep.

"Mm'where are'ya?"

"I'm here," Sollux answered softly. Eridan's head raised and his eyes caught Sollux's.

"Wh…Where're you goin'?" he asked in a tiny voice, sounding scared. Sollux suppressed the urge to cringe in guilt.

"I'm… going to the bathroom. I gotta take a pithh. I mean, piss."

_Shit_.

There was a rustling sound as Eridan sat up completely.

"Is somethin' wrong?"

"No," Sollux answered hastily. "No, jutht… jutht go back to thleep."

Without another word, Sollux slipped out of the room just as Eridan tossed the covers off his legs. He speed-walked down the hall and towards the bathroom, nearly making it to the end of the hall when Eridan's door reopened.

"Sol? What are you goin' to do?" Eridan asked, fully awake and padding after Sollux. Before Sollux could take another step, a hand grabbed his elbow and turned him around. "Sol!"

Sollux's face contorted and, tightly shutting his eyes, he tore his arm away and broke into a mad dash towards the bathroom. He heard Eridan's sprinting footsteps behind him.

They crashed into the doorframe of the bathroom. Sollux fumbled around for the light switch and turned on the lights as they struggled, Sollux trying to shove Eridan's hands off of him and Eridan trying to hold his arms behind his back.

"Sol, stop! _Stop!_" Eridan cried over and over as Sollux's vision began to tunnel and his adrenaline kicked in. Blindly, he whirled around and tried to claw at Eridan to pry him off, to throw him, to get him away from him. His hands turned into fists and he violently beat at Eridan's back. Each deep _thud_ echoed and made Eridan grunt or yelp, but he buried his face in Sollux's chest and held tight.

"_Let go of me!_" Sollux shouted, shoving hard. Eridan lost his grip but rushed forward again, knocking them both into the bathroom sink. Sollux was just able to turn around, though, his eyes wide and hysterical as he tore open the cupboard door and knocked over bottles of pills and toothbrushes and rinse cups in search of anything that could pierce his disgusting flesh.

"Please stop, stop! _STOP!_ Sol, please, _please_ stop!" Eridan was begging the whole time, his hands contributing to most of the overturned bottles in the cabinet. Bottles and Q-tips and trimming scissors tumbled out of the cabinet and into the sink, several bottles breaking open.

Sollux's eyes were welling up as he bared his teeth and sucked air in through them. Slowly, Eridan was dragging down, and soon he was practically hanging off of the bottom of the cabinet.

"_Sollux!_"

Sollux's legs gave out and he and Eridan fell to their knees. Sollux hung off of the bathroom counter, one arm up on it as if he was about to try to drag himself up again. But Eridan held tight, his arms locked around his chest just below his armpits.

Sollux stared blankly at the wood surface of a drawer before the first tear spilled. Then the second. And a third. He shook uncontrollably, trying to take a breath but finding himself choked up on the hard lump in his throat. He took a few of those failed attempts at breaths before his mouth stretched open and his body tensed.

He let out an agonized wail, long and terrible and full of the torment he had endured for the past eighteen years of his life.

When Mommy left for work and left him at the daycare center all alone with other little kids he didn't know.

When Daddy went on a trip.

When Mommy explained that it was a trip Daddy would never come back from.

When Mommy forgot to hold him and rock him and tell him that she loved him.

When Mommy left him with the shadow that would haunt him for the rest of his childhood and beyond.

When Kenneth would beat him and shove him and soil him.

When the blade sunk into his skin, when the blood dripped into the sink, when he was told _no, I don't swing that way, dude._

All of the times he just wanted to throw his head back and scream came rushing forward in one great burst of sound that tore his throat, rendering him hoarse and voiceless.

When it ended, he collapsed into deep, heavy sobs that took his breath away and racked his entire body.

On his knees on the floor, Sollux Captor, aged eighteen, threw a temper tantrum. Every few seconds he'd push hateful words from deep within his lungs and heart, chanting '_I hate you, I hate you_,' over and over until even that was a strain on his shot vocal chords.

And slowly, his sobs turned into pitiful hiccups, and then he just quietly wept.

"I withsh I wath dead," Sollux blubbered, wiping in vain at the watery mess on his face.

Eridan didn't respond, but after a moment he pulled Sollux back. Sollux fell back and they flopped down onto the floor. Eridan still gripped Sollux hard around the chest, his nails digging into Sollux's skin.

Sollux stared expressionlessly down at the floor, his arms limp noodles at his side. Eridan pulled Sollux in closer and pulled him between his legs, raising his knees on either side to cage Sollux in. His hands relaxed on Sollux's chest and he just splayed his fingers, holding Sollux in a tight embrace.

He felt good. His body was cool, and in turn it cooled down Sollux's heated body. It slowly brought the sight back in his eyes.

"Eridan?"

"…Yeah, Sol?"

Sollux sighed and tipped his head back against Eridan's shoulder.

"I don't want to live anymore," Sollux whispered, gazing up at the ceiling.

"Please no."

Sollux listened as Eridan snuffled and squeezed his body tighter.

"Please. It'll get better. Please, Sol. I promise. I sw-wear it'll get better. _Please_."

"I'm tho tired," Sollux breathed. "I jutht want to be done, Eridan."

"I know-w. I understand. But you can't be done yet. You're not finished yet."

"What do you mean?"

"You… You hav-ven't found a purpose yet."

"I don't believe in that bullshit."

Eridan's fingertips pressed into Sollux's skin.

"W-Well… you hav-ven't asked me out yet," Eridan said weakly. Sollux choked out a laugh.

"That'th hardly a reathon to thtay."

Eridan whimpered and Sollux felt hot tears run down his back.

"Don't cry," Sollux murmured. He put a hand on Eridan's forearm.

"I'm n-n-not c-cryin'!"

"Nobody will notithe when I'm gone," Sollux muttered, mostly to himself. He blinked lazily at the ceiling. "Becauthe I'm an athhole. I ruin everyone'th liveth with my problemth. The world would be better off without me."

"Stop it."

"I'm really fucking pathetic," Sollux hissed, chuckling and shaking his head. "I really, really am."

Eridan paused before his arms moved. Not removing them from under Sollux's armpits, he pulled up the sleeve on one arm.

"They're hard to see," Eridan began softly. He pointed to his inner wrist. Sollux was close enough to see tiny, hardly visible white lines, even without his glasses. "Middle school w-was hard."

"Middle thchool?" Sollux echoed.

"Mhm. I didn't like girls v-very much. In fact, I really liked another boy, but I didn't know-w w-why. I thought it was normal, so on V-Valentine's Day I gav-ve him a v-valentine. All it w-was w-was a little sucker taped to a Scooby-Doo v-valentine. That's all it w-was. An' you know-w w-what happened? He told all of his little friends an' they all made fun of me. They got ev-veryone in the school to call me a faggot. Queer."

Sollux listened silently as Eridan's voice began to shake right in his ear.

"I w-wanted to tell someone, but Dad w-was alw-ways so distant. He felt more like someone w-who w-was just _there_, rather than a father. Fef w-was the only person w-who w-was there to defend me. But she got attacked too, because she w-was so small. So I ended up defendin' her. They tripped me in the hallways and knocked my books outta my hands. Slammed my locker on my fingers. They made ev-veryone hate me so much. Some people didn't ev-ven know-w w-why. I w-was the kid that alw-ways got picked on for the ad-lib things. Remember those, Sol? The teacher w-would call on random students to say a noun or some stupid shit like that. The pronoun w-was alw-ways my name. The adjectiv-ve w-was alw-ways… ugly, or stupid. An' the teachers thought ev-veryone w-was playin' around. An' then… an' then one day I w-was so sick of it that I came to school um… dressed like a girl. Because I thought then I could be pretty and it could be normal for me to like boys.

"Turns out, it doesn't fuckin' w-work like that, Sol. The tauntin' got so much w-worse. Absolutely terrible. One day a bunch of kids surrounded me and shov-ved me into the dirt an' started kickin' me. They grabbed my backpack an' opened it and poured all my stuff into the mud. The new jacket my dad bought for me w-was ruined. I didn't know-w how-w to explain it w-when I got home, and my dad kinda just looked at me before turnin' around and goin' back to his business. He told me to just go aw-way. He said he didn't w-want me in his sight anymore.

"So I ran aw-way. I ran aw-way w-with no intention of comin' back. But… haha, it doesn't fuckin' w-work like that, either. The police found me because someone in a house I passed called them to report a child out w-walkin' alone. They dragged me home. That w-was the night that I found out that I w-was an accident and that my dad didn't w-want me. That my mom was a w-whore w-who didn't w-want me either. An' that's how-w I started cuttin'."

Eridan took a moment to collect himself.

"In high school, my dad and Fef's mom met and fell in love and got married. I was so happy that I would finally have a mom. Then I come to find that Fef's mom… well, she's not easy to get along with, that's for sure. But somehow, someway… she still wanted me. Pushed me to excel in school, made me and Fef snacks when we got home from school, held us. She was cold, she was cruel, but somehow she loved us. Dad… Dad just adored Fef. She was the daughter he never had, not the failure of a son he didn't want. He loved her so, so much. Treated her like his little princess. But he still treated me like a burden. So I left them alone. I… it felt like the only person who loved me was Fef. I treated her a little coldly. Okay, maybe a lot coldly, because I was so jealous that both her mom and my dad treated her like a princess. But she just kept on lovin' me and playin' video games with me an' bein' my best friend. I kept cuttin' because I was so confused and so scared of my feelin's… I was fallin' in love with her, but I was so scared because I was jealous and I didn't know how to respond to new feelin's after likin' boys for my whole life. There was no other way to deal with it.

"An' finally… my dad had enough. He divorced Fef's mom and announced that he'd be goin' to Scotland. I begged to go with him, to escape from all of the harassment from school, to escape from Fef, everythin'. But he just… he ruffled my hair and took me by the chin. He tipped my head back to look at him and he smiled. He said to me, _'Eridan, lad, I'd love to take you with me an' show you the shinin' Scottish seas. But your stepmom wants custody, an' I'm not goin'ta argue with her. 'Sides, you have to stay here and watch over Feferi for me. Can you do that, son?_' I was crushed, but I agreed. An' ironically, that was the day I stopped cuttin'. Because I realized I had a mission. I realized I had to be strong for Fef. I took away all of the jealousy and anger and filled myself with love for her. An' she has been the most important person in my life since."

Sollux took the information in bit by bit, his mind so full of new information that he could hardly hold it all in. But he did, and slowly his lips parted for him to speak.

"…Your dad… I thought you said he loves you."

"He does. He loves me, Sol."

"…Eridan, it doesn't sound like he-"

"Shut up!" Eridan blurted out of nowhere, making Sollux jump. "He loves me. I know he loves me. At least a little bit. He has a bad way of showin' it, is all."

"But-"

"Sol, please. Stop talkin' about it. Let me keep hopin'."

"…Okay."

"Anyway," Eridan sighed. "In the end I… I couldn't be there for Fef. I ended up smotherin' her. I loved her too much and I chased her away, Sol. I was so caught up in lookin' strong for her that I didn't consider her feelin's an'… an' now she's gone. I wanted… I wanted to cut again so badly that night she left. But I have to be strong, Sol. I have to be strong and I have to be the best, and I have to be at the top or else _nobody's goin' to ever fuckin' like me!_"

He ended in a shout, then went quiet.

"All I did," Eridan whispered. "W-Was try to be nice. I tried to be considerate. I tried to lov-ve people. But in the end, _I'm_ public enemy number one. All because my dad couldn't keep his fuckin' legs closed. All because I'm fuckin' gay and seriously the most disgustin' thing to ev-ver w-walk the face of the planet. I should'v-ve nev-ver been born.

"All I am is a disgustin' pretty boy faggot _bastard_."

With that, Eridan let his forehead fall onto Sollux's shoulder. Sollux listened to his heavy breathing, then his shuddering sigh, then the soft sounds of him crying. He snuggled into Eridan's neck and kissed his cheek.

"Sol, I know you've been through so much worse than me," Eridan said after a moment of pulling himself together. He sniffed again. "But I've felt the same kind of pain, an' I know what it's like to… to cut. An' I can tell you right now that it will get better. Please, please trust me. I know what I'm talkin' about, Sol. I really do."

Sollux thought for a moment before turning in Eridan's arms. Eridan raised his head and looked into Sollux's eyes. There was a long pause, then they bent their heads forward and nuzzled against each other, which gradually turned into kissing, which gradually turned into making out.

"Eridan?" Sollux whispered, pulling away. Eridan held his face in his hands, brushing his bangs back.

"Hmm?"

"I'm tired. Let's go back to bed."

Eridan smiled, his eyes flicking down to Sollux's lips.

"…Okay."


	30. Chapter 30

**Special thanks to the current contestants of the Sollux's Sexy Smolder contest: _aeris7dragon_, _iameridansexual_ (yes even yours you silly goose), _turntechcherrysprite, ms-nubbeh-horns, batspit, zholltmos, xsammiecakesx, spazzykat, cherryglare, pelageyart_, and _karkatvantassexual_.**

**and special thanks to the OHAC fanartists: _theorangetardigrada, cherryglare, ms-nubbeh-horns, timeanddivision_ (FANART + FAN AMV), _lovinglikescript, zholltmos, hussiebot, asplashofinsanity, spazzykat, prince-of-kokoro, inside-your-pants, waywardmonster, novilicious, gunsandwwands, mspas, vertisol, mutisija, theteaman, fabryski, gilwing, mustbethefuckingmusic, _and_ adios-torea-desu._**

**...a special thanks to the other contestants of the Eridan's Choice Ass contest that I forgot to mention: _s0llux-the-capt0r, creepinlikeataco, combativepopsicle, aeris7dragon, godtieraradiamegido, chosenkat,_ and_ spazzykat._**

**and finally, a special thanks to a few generous artists who supplies me with OHAC update gifs for tumblr: _cherryglare, waywardmonster_, and _mspas_.**

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><p>[Chapter 30]<p>

The next morning, Sollux was greeted by the sunlight shining in his eyes. It had a purple hue, of course, as it came through the purple curtains on Eridan's window.

Eridan.

Sollux looked down to see Eridan snuggled up against his side, his head resting on his shoulder and his arm wrapped possessively around his waist. Sollux yawned and ran his fingers very lightly down Eridan's spine.

They were both naked, Sollux noted after he had woken up a little more. They hadn't gone farther than frotting or just jerking each other off. But they had done it a couple times. Okay, several times.

Okay, probably around _eight_ times throughout the night before they ended up passing out halfway through their ninth round. In a way, it comforted them both. Not only did they lust for each other like nobody's business, but it provided a distraction from life for a while. There had been nothing that Sollux had wanted more than to feel the beads of sweat rolling down his back, sweat and cum-slicked skin sliding against skin, pale pink lips stretching open into a cry. It gave to him the unity between two people that he had craved for an alarming amount of time, and hadn't been able to stop kissing and touching Eridan the night before.

Eridan had readily let him take control. Still not experienced enough, Eridan had just lied back and had grabbed at the pillow beneath his head, nibbling his bottom lip. Sollux was sure to treat him right, and by the end of the night, he had turned Eridan into putty in his hands.

It was _amazing_. Something told Sollux that Eridan had had a good time as well, because he hummed in his sleep, snuggled in even closer to Sollux, and hooked one leg on Sollux's. His manhood (holy fuck, hello morning wood) pressed into Sollux's hip with the movement, and he couldn't help but chuckle a little and rest his head against the top of Eridan's and drift back to sleep.

It was a short-lived pleasure, though, because Eridan began to stir a few minutes after that. When he did, Sollux moved his head so Eridan could freely move his.

"Hmmmnnn," Eridan groaned, his mouth stretching open into a yawn. After a moment of stretching, he sat up a little, bracing himself with a palm resting on the center of Sollux's chest. He blinked tiredly, then looked down at Sollux with a dazed smile. Sollux put his hands behind his head and quirked his lips back up at Eridan.

"Hey," was all he said, and his voice was nothing but a low croak.

"Mm'goo' mornin'," Eridan mumbled back, running a hand through his messy bed hair and holding it there. He sat up fully and faced away from Sollux, back arching as he lifted his arms over his head and stretched once more. Sollux eyed his back, where several dark bruises had bloomed overnight. It wasn't from the sex, that was for sure. "Mm'I'll be right back. Gotta piss."

Eridan got up and stumbled out of the room. Sollux waited in bed for only a minute or two before Eridan returned, still stumbling a little. He sat back down on the bed and yawned, then shuffled under the covers when goosebumps began to rise on his arms.

Sollux flew up from the bed and wrapped his arms around Eridan from behind, careful to avoid pressing into Eridan with all of the jutting angles of his body. He kissed Eridan's shoulder before nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

"…Why so affectionate this mornin', Sol?" Eridan asked, still a bit groggy. His voice was a little hoarse as well.

"Last night," Sollux began. "Eridan, I don't know how I can-"

"You don't need to thank me or repay me in any way," Eridan said. "We both needed help last night an' we gave it to each other. There's no need to say anythin' more on the matter."

"But I said… I said something last night that I didn't mean. It was just because of the situation, Eridan. I really… um…"

"What didn't you mean to say?"

"Well… Eridan, it's just… well, some of the things I said shouldn't be dwelled upon. Like, taken with a grain of salt, you know?"

Eridan turned in Sollux's arms to look down at him.

"Out with it, Sol."

"I told you that you weren't a reason for me to stay alive," Sollux admitted. He hid his eyes in Eridan's shoulder. "I didn't mean that, so please don't take it the wrong way."

"…Does that mean I'm a reason for you to stay alive?"

"One of them, yes," Sollux muttered. He squeezed Eridan a little. "I stay alive for my friends and the people I love, and you're included, Eridan. I'm sorry I said what I said."

"You're forgiven, but I knew you didn't really mean it in an offensive way," Eridan assured with a little laugh. He leaned into Sollux. "Hey Sol?"

Sollux looked up.

"Hm?"

"Where do I stand?"

"Huh?"

"The people that you love an' your friends," Eridan said. He looked into Sollux's eyes. "Where do I stand?"

Sollux thought for a second, then sighed and hid his eyes again.

"Somewhere in between," he answered after a while.

"Leanin' towards one side or another at all?"

Sollux squeezed him.

"I think I'm leaning towards the people I love."

Sollux felt Eridan heat up a little, and could feel his heartbeat quicken in the artery on his neck, which was pressed up against his cheek.

"An'…An' compared to Kar?"

"I uh… I… ugh, I don't know, Eridan. I'm sorry. I'm still… I need more time."

"It's okay. I can wait."

Sollux resurfaced from Eridan's shoulder and pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade.

"Did I hurt you last night?" he mumbled. Eridan sighed and pressed back against Sollux's lips.

"Of course. My back hurts like a bitch. I expect you to fully compensate me by cookin' me breakfast an' treatin' me like a prince today."

"How 'bout more sex?" Sollux murmured , lips trailing up to Eridan's neck. He pecked at the nape and poked his tongue out to run it up to his ear. Eridan said nothing, and instead he turned around and slipped his arms around Sollux's neck.

Falling back on the bed, Sollux held Eridan's hips as he straddled him and kissed him hard. After a moment or two of heavy kissing, Eridan turned his head away to catch a breath.

"Mmm. _Nasty_ ass morning breath, my favorite," Sollux teased. Eridan let out a breathy laugh and smacked Sollux's bare chest.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth, pencil dick."

"You didn't think it was a pencil dick last night," Sollux chuckled, nipping Eridan's jaw.

"You have the attitude of someone who has a tiny, tiny, _tiny_ dick," Eridan countered, bringing his thumb and forefinger together really close. He winked his eye at his fingers. "About this small."

"Yeah, and that third leg of mine down there is just for decoration, _uhoohoohoohoo_," Sollux said in a deep, mocking tone, ending it with a stupid fake laugh. Eridan fell over himself laughing. He rolled off of Sollux, and Sollux followed him. Their positions ended up switched, and Eridan grinned as Sollux reached between then and pawed at him. Eridan touched his top lip with the tip of his tongue and reached down as well, taking Sollux into his hands and mimicking Sollux's actions.

But Sollux's hand dipped lower still, and Eridan stopped touching him for a moment to focus on what he was doing. Sollux spread him a bit with his thumb and ring finger, then pressed in with his index and middle finger to just barely graze his hole. Eridan flinched a little and reached up to push at Sollux's shoulder. Knowing he had gone too far, Sollux pulled away and lied down on his stomach next to Eridan. He brought a pillow close to him and rested his chin on it.

"Sorry, Sol," Eridan said quietly. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"It's okay," Sollux replied with a shrug. "I understand."

Eridan glanced at him.

"Thanks for bein' so patient with me. I know it's frustratin'."

"Why aren't you comfortable with it?" Sollux asked, genuinely curious. Eridan hesitated, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Well, first of all, I ain't showered an' cleaned up," he chuckled. "An'… second of all, I'd like to get to know you more."

"You want to know me more?" Sollux asked with a little laugh. "Well, my major is-"

"Not like that, dumbass," Eridan laughed, rolling his eyes and reaching over to swat at Sollux's arm. Then, he rolled onto his side and ran his hand down Sollux's side. "I want to know you a bit more in bed."

"What have you gathered so far?" Sollux asked in a low, rumbling voice, shifting so his body was facing Eridan's. He draped an arm over his waist and rolled onto him ever so slightly, bumping their faces together.

"Extremely affectionate lover," Eridan said immediately in a completely flat tone. "That part surprised me at first, but now not so much."

"And… what else?"

"Dual personalities," Eridan added after thinking for a moment. "On one hand, you're affectionate, but you're also in the selfish lover class."

Sollux raised his head and arched an eyebrow.

"Holy shit, how much thought are you putting into my sex habits after just one night?"

"One night is all I need. I'm pretty much an expert with the zodiac signs," Eridan said with quite a bit of snark. Sollux groaned and rolled his eyes so hard that he thought that they would roll right out of his head.

"Oh for God's sake, Eridan."

"I'm serious!" Eridan exclaimed, sitting up when Sollux withdrew from him and flopped back down onto his pillow. "As a Gemini, you've got like… two personalities in bed, not goin'ta lie."

"Okay then. What do you mean by 'selfish lover'?"

"It's not necessarily a bad thing. It depends on the partner. It's just that you're a little rough, an' a little demandin' here and there. An' last night, I noticed you hardly let me do any of the touchin'. An' I was the only one layin' down."

Sollux blinked.

"Well… we can't deny that I have more experience. I'm sorry, dude. I didn't mean it in a bad way."

Eridan scooted up to rest against the headboard, then brought up his legs so he could rest his elbows on his knees and clasp his hands between them. He shrugged.

"I jerk off, too, Sol. I know how to touch a dick."

Sollux shrank into the pillow a tiny bit.

"Man, Eridan. Did I offend you or something? I'm sorry."

"Me?" Eridan asked incredulously, glancing down at Sollux. "No. No, no, I'm just sayin'. I don't have the amount of sexual experience that you do, of course, but that's not to say that I don't fantasize and experiment. I know enough to do a decent job, I think."

"Yeah. The job you did last night was pretty damn good," Sollux mumbled. Eridan snorted and reached out to shove Sollux's head.

"Fuck you."

They were quiet for a moment.

"Hey Eridan?" Sollux said slowly.

"Mm?"

"What if I told you that… regarding roles-"

"You want to exclusively play the dominant role," Eridan sighed. "I was worried about that. Look, Sol, I _do_ like the idea of bottomin', but I also wouldn't mind tryin' to top, too."

Sollux looked down at the pillow below his chin.

"…Eridan, do you understand why playing the girl really freaks me the fuck out?" Sollux asked very quietly. "It's not because I'm trying to oppress you or anything like that. Of course not. It's just…"

"I know, Sol," Eridan said with a nod. "But it doesn't have to be like… all-out intercourse, even. More like I just want to be the one to call the shots, an' be in charge of the pace an' the intensity. Stuff like that. I wouldn't have'ta… um, _fuck_ you, or anythin' like that."

Sollux hunched his shoulders.

"…That… That kind of makes me uncomfortable, too."

Eridan frowned.

"It does?"

"Yeah."

Eridan averted his eyes and ran his hand through his hair.

"…Oh. Okay. But Sol… sex to me is like… two people comin' together and trustin' each other and acceptin' each other. It's really important to me, an' I guess what I'm tryin' to say is… if… if somethin' ends up happenin' between us… if we become more than friends or… or whatever we are right now, this is goin' to be a problem."

"I know. It's how I fuck up all of my relationships."

"Huh?"

"People have talked to me before about how demanding I am," Sollux mumbled. "But Eridan, it's really not… I really don't-"

Eridan interrupted Sollux's word fumbling with a gentle hand on the rise of his back. Sollux looked up at Eridan's smiling face.

"I'll be patient," he said. Then, he scrunched up his eyebrows a little. "But if you don't _try_ to make amends, I'll bite your dick right off."

Sollux grimaced.

"Hot."

"Only the _hottest_ shit alive," Eridan sniffed, upturning his nose. When Sollux snorted, Eridan grinned and laughed with him. Then, his face turned solemn. "But seriously. You know I would never try to hurt you. I'm not like that."

"I know. It's just… yeah. We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

Eridan looked down at Sollux again, his cheeks lightly dusted pink.

"…_If_ and when we get there?"

"_When_ we get there," Sollux corrected. Eridan pinched his lips together and tightened his hold on his legs. He watched as Sollux sat up and dragged himself right up to Eridan. He pressed a long kiss to his lips. When he pulled away, he stooped his head to kiss Eridan's arm. "Whatcha want for breakfast?"

"I want fuckin' pancakes," Eridan said instantly. "_Blueberry_ fuckin' pancakes with whipped cream an' shit. An' a nice cup of coffee to go with them. An' a banana."

"Well, Jesus. Do you have the shit to _make_ those pancakes, buddy?"

"Of course, do you take me for a fuckin' idiot?"

"Yes."

_Smack._

"Yeah. Right away, your highness," Sollux said mockingly, sliding out of bed. He let out a groan as his feet hit the floor. He fell to his knees, then flopped over on the carpet and just lied there for a moment, buck naked. Before long, Eridan's head appeared over the edge of the mattress.

"Don't lay your naked ass on my floor," Eridan snapped. "It's bad enough you got your filth all over my sheets."

Sollux lifted one leg and shoved his foot in Eridan's face.

"Smell my feet, smell my feet, give me something good to eat," Sollux sang, reaching up to flash Eridan the middle finger. "Why so mean all of a sudden?"

Eridan grabbed Sollux's ankle and moved his foot out of the way.

"Because you're a dumbass."

"I'm flirting."

"Your idea of flirtin' is shovin' your stinky foot in my face? Just look at these toenails. What the fuck?"

"I eat my toenails for breakfast every morning, Eridan."

Eridan promptly dropped Sollux's foot.

"Yup. Just gonna ollie right on outta here," he said, lifting his hands in surrender for a moment before rolling over and sitting up to get out of bed.

"Every time you say something from the internet in real life, it makes my dick sooo hard, Eridan," Sollux fake-moaned, looking up at Eridan as he walked by to get to his dresser. "Hnnng."

"Real cute, Sol," Eridan said as Sollux made a rude hand gesture in the air. "You're a _real_ charmer."

"No seriously. Do you like, know all the memes and shit? Are you a rebellious, independent gamer girl?"

"I know a good deal of them, yes," Eridan answered, comparing two shirts for a moment before choosing one. "An' I'm not a gamer _girl_, asshole."

"Do you play _Call of Duty_ and brag about it on your super _sugoi_ hipster blog?"

Eridan looked over his shoulder.

"Get the hell off the floor, Sol. For fuck's sake. An' I don't like _Call of Duty_ very much. Too many greasy teenagers screamin' into a microphone for my taste."

"What do you like, then?"

"I've been playin' a lot of _Civilization 4_ recently. I play it online an' I'm pretty fuckin' good at it."

"Is that the one where you build a country or something and then you take turns or some shit and you try to take over other countries?" Sollux asked. Eridan squinted at him.

"Uh… yeah?"

"Boring," Sollux drawled. He finally got to his feet and stretched. "I could totally get into the coding of that game and make it fucking sweet."

"It's _already_ sweet, thank you very much."

Sollux waited for a second while Eridan chose a pair of briefs.

"So… do you watch Anime?"

"Oh for the love of-" Eridan began, lolling his head in exasperation. "Before you ask, _yes_, Sol, I caught your funny little insert of a Japanese word. You are the most hilarious fuckin' kid in all of the hilarious fields of hilariousness. Showoff."

"… Did you like _Boku no Pico_?"

Eridan choked on nothing in particular, his head ducking down and his shoulders hunching. Sollux exploded into hysterical laughter, doubling over and stumbling back into the bed.

"For the love of Cod, _no!_" Eridan exclaimed. Sollux fell over on the bed and held his stomach as he laughed. It took him a while to recover.

"You obviously know what it is. Spill it. What Animes have you seen?"

Eridan groaned, leaned his elbow on the dresser, and counted on his fingers as he looked up at the ceiling.

"Jesus, uh…" Eridan trailed off. He recounted, then shook his head. "I actually haven't sat down to watch a full Anime series in a couple years. I think the last one I watched was uh… _Code Geass_? Something like that."

"Oh that's one's pretty cool," Sollux said with a small nod of approval. "Yeah, I only really watch them when Karkat makes me watch them."

Eridan looked over his shoulder with one raised brow.

"_Kar_ watches Anime?"

"Religiously. Don't tell him I told you," Sollux snickered. Eridan turned around fully, the leg of the skinny jeans he had picked out hanging just low enough to cover his junk. Darn.

"Oh Cod, what does he watch?"

"_Ouran High School Host Club_," Eridan and Sollux said at the same time. They both burst into laughter, shoulders shaking and tears gathering at the corner of their eyes.

"_Seriously?_" Eridan squeaked after one of those particularly loud snort-squeal things.

"It's his favorite, dude," Sollux croaked, breathless from laughing so hard. "Dude, no. I got nothing against the show, Karkat just watches it like every _month_!"

They collapsed into a fit of stupid giggling again, with snorts and weird noises and annoying hiccup-breath things (later, Sollux refused to admit that it was coming from him) abound.

For a while, they were just two men. Two men laughing their asses off about stupid shit that nobody else cared about. Stupid shit that only they, as two different types of computer geeks, could understand and laugh about. For a while, they weren't two broken boys with scars on their wrists or bruises on their backs or nasty scabs just below their eyebrows. They were just two regular young men bonding over a completely random and pointless discussion, and not a single thing in their past or their present took away from the hearty laughs that came exploding out of their lungs.

_Life could always be like this if I was normal._

The thought couldn't be helped, but the next thought rendered the first completely null and void.

_Life is always like this when I'm with Eridan._


	31. Chapter 31

**Sorry for the wait, guys! I had a bunch of exams to take, and I have two more exams to take tomorrow, so I had no time to write! Chapter 30 definitely wasn't the end of the story! :D**

**Enjoy. :)**

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><p>[Chapter 31]<p>

They skipped class as if they were the coolest kids around, instead opting to spend the day lounging in pajamas and talking and experimenting with the ingredients in Eridan's kitchen. The pancakes Sollux made for them ended up being fucking _glorious_. Perhaps even worthy of going to the championship of pancakes.

Sollux discovered that Eridan _actually_ had the ability to pig out. Completely and utterly awestruck, he sat there and watched his picky bitch of a friend wolf down the pancakes like a wild animal. Part of him felt flattered, but another part of him was just amused and… and…

Full of affection for this gigantic pompous asshole of a Purple-Haired Wonder Queen.

Sollux's suspicions of Eridan secretly being anorexic came to a screeching halt when he saw Eridan eating that day. Eating _his_ cooking.

Eridan liked _his_ cooking. Not IHOP's cooking, not that stupid café's cooking. _Sollux's_ cooking. His chest was puffed up and full of manly pride for the rest of the day.

"Hey Sol, you wanna help me with rehearsin' now?" Eridan asked sometime later while they were sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn as they watched Broadway's _Wicked. _Sollux wasn't particularly interested, but Eridan absorbed every scene like a child looking at toys in a toy store, so he didn't mind so much.

"For that one musical they're doing?" Sollux asked, accidentally dropping a piece of popcorn on his shirt. Eridan grimaced as Sollux picked it off his shirt and sucked it into his mouth.

"No, I want you to help me rehearse for the swim meet next Tuesday. O'course for the musical, dumbass."

"Oh yeah, congrats for making the swim team, dude," Sollux said with a grin as Eridan got to his feet. Eridan harrumphed and turned up his nose a little.

"Hell yeah. It wasn't a question of whether or not I'd get in. The second I got in the swimmin' pool, I knew I would blow everyone out of the water."

"Oh yeah? And how good did you do?"

"I beat their shitty times by five seconds. All of them," Eridan boasted, looking over his shoulder at Sollux. Sollux lifted his hands and put on a fake surprised face.

"Well look out, we got a badass in here," he sneered. Eridan scowled at him. "Well aren't you hot _shit_."

"Damn straight," Eridan said snippily. With that, he stomped off to his room. When Sollux was sure he was gone, he shoved his face in the popcorn bowl and ate it all, nearly choking on one of the pieces before finishing and slamming the bowl down seconds before Eridan walked back in with a packet of slightly crumpled papers in his hand.

"Okay, so we got the script a couple days ago and I've been rehearsin' it ever since. But since _Les Misérables_ is an all-singin' musical, we got paired off to do little duo pieces. Me an' my partner chose a scene from a Shakespeare pla-"

Sollux let out a long groan, tipping his head back. Eridan outstretched his arms on either side of him, giving Sollux an incredulous look.

"The hell? What's the fuckin' problem, Sol?"

"Dude, Shakespeare is fucking stupid. Please, please tell me it's not from _Romeo and Juliet_."

"Ugh, no, that would be so cliché," Eridan scoffed. "What do you take me for? I don't do mainstream. We chose a scene from _Much Ado About Nothin'_."

"Never heard of it," Sollux muttered.

"Exactly," Eridan growled right back. "Must be a sad life, to be so deprived of fuckin' _awesome_ literature. This is my _favorite_ Shakespeare comedy."

"The fuck? The guy wrote _comedies_, too?" Sollux asked, his eyes slowly narrowing. A vein in Eridan's neck popped.

"How can you not _know_ that?" Eridan practically shrieked. Sollux watched in amusement as Eridan flailed his arms and tore at his hair in utmost rage. "I… you…! _How fuckin' stupid can you be!_ You're such a moron, _I can't even look at you!_"

Eridan bent down and grabbed the edge of the coffee table and, for a terrifying second, Sollux thought he was going to flip it over. However, Eridan just pretended to flip it, then straightened and went right up to Sollux. He slapped violently at Sollux's head. Laughing and shouting, Sollux tried to shove his hands away.

"Quit it, holy shit!" Sollux cried, laughing even harder as Eridan slapped his right cheek, then his left, then his right cheek, and so on.

"Educate yourself, you fuckin' loser," Eridan said when he was finished. He gave Sollux a satisfied smirk. "My handprints look nice on your face."

Sollux blinked as Eridan turned and strutted away from him. He reached up and touched his face, where it was a little hot from the red slap mark that resided there.

_Well_ then.

Sollux cleared his throat and pretended to watch TV as Eridan stooped down to collect the packet of papers he had thrown to the floor before assaulting Sollux.

"I bet my handprints would look nice on your ass," Sollux blurted without much hesitation or thought. Eridan straightened and looked over his shoulder.

"Now wouldn't you like _that_ privilege?" Eridan asked lowly, giving Sollux a smoldering look. Sollux smoldered right back. Then, Eridan turned away with a huff. "But no, Sol. I'm afraid it will be _my_ handprints on your pasty white ass."

"I don't have much of an ass to smack," Sollux chuckled. Eridan didn't show it, but his shoulders shook ever so slightly with laughter.

"Okay, okay. Shut your fuckin' mouth, we gotta do this," Eridan said suddenly, whirling around and catching himself on the ball of his foot. He remained in that position for a second, reading his papers. "Alright. This is the scene in _Much Ado About Nothin'_ where Benedick an' Beatrice go to a party slash masquerade thing, an' Benedick doesn't know Beatrice knows that he is under the mask, an' basically she's all 'wow Benedick is a gigantic asshole' an' Benedick gets all offended an' shit."

Sollux stared blankly at Eridan for a moment before Eridan looked up and caught his eyes.

"Got that?"

"I lost you at '_Benedick'_. Are you sure it's not Bene_dict_? Because if not, how the fuck do people even read that without laughing their asses off at the fact that he has 'Dick' in his na-"

"Shut the fuck up an' get over here, Sol. We gotta dance."

"_Duuude_," Sollux whined. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"_You said you'd help!_"

"Fine," Sollux grumbled, trying and failing to haul himself to his feet three times before groaning and hoisting his body up off of the couch. When he looked at Eridan, Eridan was giving him such a disgusted look that he nearly burst out laughing.

"You need to eat healthier," Eridan scolded as Sollux made his way to him. "An' stop fuckin' slouchin' all the time. You're gonna get scoliosis. Jesus Christ."

Sollux let out a melodramatic sigh and rolled his eyes before straightening to his full height in front of Eridan. Eridan blinked in what looked like astonishment, and Sollux smirked down at him.

"Bask in the glory of my height, shortstuff," he teased. Eridan slapped the pack of papers into his chest.

"Here's the script. Read Beatrice's lines. I'm Benedick. I've got it memorized, I just wanna do a run-through before the auditions."

"Alllllrighty," Sollux agreed. He held up the packet and buried his nose in them. "…But dude, I can't read this worth a shit."

"Oh! Your glasses, o'course," Eridan gasped. Sollux lowered the script just in time to see Eridan bow his head and remove his hipster glasses.

"That's not going to help, idiot."

"Shut up," Eridan snapped. "They're technically readin' glasses, so maybe they'll help just enough."

Sollux didn't think he meant to, but before either of them could stop themselves, Eridan was lifting the glasses to Sollux's face and slipping them into place. He adjusted them a bit, then let his hands fall once more. Sollux wrinkled his nose.

"They're too heavy…"

Eridan, realizing the sudden intimacy of what he had done, put his tongue in his cheek and popped his hip impatiently.

"Just… just get started. I don't have all day."

Sollux buried his nose in the script again.

"Um… will you not… tell me who told you so?"

"No, you shall pardon me," Eridan replied, his accent completely swallowed. That surprised Sollux, and he lifted his brows. Eridan just motioned for him to continue.

"Nor will you not tell me… who you are?"

Eridan let out an exasperated huff and grabbed Sollux's wrists. He yanked them down, revealing his face.

"You suck at this. Here. Put this hand on my shoulder," Eridan directed. Sollux held the script in one hand as he cautiously placed his other hand on Eridan's shoulder. Eridan's hand went to his hip and pulled him in closer. Sollux tried not to react too much, but he knew the sudden hitch in his breath had given him away. Eridan realized it a moment later.

They were _awfully_ close.

Eridan cleared his throat and outstretched his other arm, taking Sollux's hand up in his. Sollux wriggled his hand free, however, to move the script to his hand on Eridan's shoulder. Then, he replaced his hand in Eridan's.

"Okay. Ahem. Not now," Eridan recited. Sollux flicked his eyes to the script and squinted.

"That I was disdainful and that I had my good wit… blah blah blah, Benedick that said so."

"What's he?"

Eridan was… unexpectedly good. _Very_ good. In fact, Sollux was suddenly curious as to why Eridan hadn't gotten the lead role in _Peter Pan. _Perhaps it was because of better talent in the cast, but…

No, Eridan was perfect. Even in the four or five tiny lines he had spoken, Sollux could tell. He had a voice that carried far and, even as he talked lowly and nearly in a whisper, Sollux could hear him perfectly. His face was locked, not in one expression, but on one _character_. In his face was the youthful mischief of a character trying to see if the person he secretly or unconsciously loved had a good opinion of him. However, in that same face was a spark of hope that begged for that special someone of his to _actually_ like him back - regardless of whether or not he actually knew it himself.

It was an interestingly familiar tale, and Sollux wondered if Eridan had chosen that particular scene intentionally.

"I am sure you… know him well enough," Sollux read in the same flat voice, which made Eridan cringe a little.

"Not I, believe me."

"Did he never make you laugh?"

Sollux looked over at his script and was horrified to see a massive chunk of lines for him to read.

"Oh my God, Eridan, do I seriously have to read all this?"

Eridan stared at him, then looked over at his script.

"Of course."

"_Fuck_ this!" Sollux exclaimed, tossing the script down.

"_Sol!_"

"And aren't you supposed to be the guy in this?" Sollux interrupted. Eridan shook his head and squinted up at him.

"…Yeah? Obviously."

"…Then why am I leading?"

Eridan's reaction was one of bewilderment, then realization, then fiery mortification. His face lit up in the deepest of reds, and his eyes crackled with angry embarrassment.

"Goo…Good fuckin' question!" Eridan spluttered, fiercely taking control of their slow waltz and dragging Sollux around in a full circle. His rampage came to an abrupt end, though, when Sollux draped an arm over Eridan's neck and roped him in to give him a long kiss right on the lips.

Eridan's muffled protesting quickly dissolved into contented sighs. As they swayed aimlessly to the beat of their nonexistent tune, Eridan slipped his hands down Sollux's sides and to his hips, pulling him in close. Sollux's arms found themselves coiled tightly around Eridan's neck, his hands hanging limply behind the broad swimmer's back.

He allowed Eridan to take control, but he was a bit hesitant about it. He was hesitant about the way Eridan controlled the tempo of their dance. He was hesitant to allow Eridan to squeeze his lithe hips to bring him in even closer. He was especially wary of Eridan's tongue, which glided over his bottom lip in a silent plea. Eridan's thumb was on the tip of his chin a second later, gently pulling down to coax Sollux's mouth open.

Against the fear the buzzed in the pit of his stomach like a swarm of irritated bees, Sollux submitted to his kiss. His body arched into Eridan's, his hands fisting his shirt and his breathing becoming strained.

_Holy Jesus lord have mercy._

Eridan was fucking _pro_ at kissing when he was in control.

Sollux tore himself away and shut his eyes to briefly collect his bearings as he fought to control his quivering limbs and trembling breaths.

"Shit," he cursed when Eridan pushed forward again. That time, Sollux didn't need to be persuaded to open his lips.

Eridan began backing him towards the couch, hands sneaking under the hem of Sollux's shirt and nimble fingers working at the tie of his drawstring sweatpants. Brows furrowing, Sollux let out a tiny whine from deep in his throat. In the fear that began clutching at his insides, he tried to reach down and push Eridan's hands away. Eridan must've mistaken the action as mere coyness, however, because his advanced became even more persistent.

When the backs of Sollux's knees bumped into the couch, Sollux sucked in a gasp through his nose and forcefully shoved Eridan off of him. He held Eridan away from him by the elbows and took deep breaths to ease the panic that had gripped his heart for a few terrible seconds.

When he looked back at Eridan, he was gazing at him with blatant hurt and confusion in his eyes. With a sigh, Sollux fell back onto the couch and tipped his head back.

"Did I do somethin' wrong? Was… was I bad at it?' Eridan asked, sinking down to sit on the couch beside Sollux. "I-I'm sorry. I g-got too excited an' I…"

Eridan's voice faltered and faded as Sollux reached out and grabbed his hand. He squeezed his knuckles.

"It's my fault," Sollux assured. "It wasn't you, I swear. I'm just a little freaked out, okay?"

"You're shakin'," Eridan commented in a quiet, solemn voice. He turned his hand over in Sollux's and rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb. Sollux eyed him, then lowered his head to slip the stupid hipster glasses off of his face.

Somehow, looking into each other's bare eyes was strangely intimate compared to looking at each other through clear spectacles. A little overwhelmed, Sollux looked down and cleared his throat.

It was then that Eridan interlaced their fingers and _truly _held his hand. It was comforting, and Sollux found himself relaxing into the couch.

"It's all reflex. There's just an uh… an indistinct line when it comes to determining what's defined as 'okay' and what's defined as 'too much'. Sometimes it's… more okay than other times, I guess? Like when I'm buzzed or… or…"

"High?" Eridan guessed. Sollux half-nodded, half shook his head.

"…Um, sometimes. I don't do it very often. I like to do it where I actually know everyone around me. I… I'm pretty light when it comes to drugs, though."

Eridan was still giving him a disgruntled look.

"I don't know how I feel about that," he said slowly. Sollux shrugged.

"Do you think I'm a bad person now?" Sollux asked, chuckling a little. He itched his arm. "Yeah…"

"I already think you're a bad person for bein' such a dick all the time," Eridan teased lightly, his lips tweaking a bit. He squeezed Sollux's hand. "But I just… I don't know, I was raised to stay well away from drugs an' stuff, so…"

"It doesn't matter; I don't do it much anyway. For me, being baked off my ass takes away some of my control over situations that I'd usually want to keep control with. It helps me think, though," Sollux explained. He glanced at Eridan and sighed. "Dude, come on. Don't look at me like that. It really isn't… it isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Don't think differently of me."

Eridan nodded quietly, then mulled over Sollux's words for a minute.

"So… is it control? You like bein' able to be in control of shit?"

"Yeah."

"Jeez. Everythin' about you just screams 'asshole', doesn't it?" Eridan joked in somewhat of a weak voice. Sollux snorted.

"Pretty much."

"Will I ever be able to kiss you?"

He was a wounded animal, staring back at Sollux with those big, bright eyes of his. His pupils searched Sollux's, and his thumb rubbed fervently against the back of Sollux's hand.

And all Sollux could do was guiltily look away.

"Sometimes? I don't know Eridan, I'm so fucking weird. It's okay sometimes, other times it's not. I'm just really fucked up."

"Everyone's a bit fucked up in one way or another," Eridan said quickly, hopefully. Sollux looked over at him, his eyebrows lifted questioningly.

"I suppose you're right," Sollux admitted with a soft chortle. "But I've never heard of not being able to kiss someone. You've gotta be a really special case for that shit."

"I can work with it."

"If it's any consolation," Sollux began, looking up at the ceiling. "That kiss was fucking _amazing_."

"Really?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Cutie," Sollux scoffed. "I just like kissing is all."

"But you _especially_ like kissin' me," Eridan bragged in triumph. "Admit it."

Sollux's lips quirked into that trademark shiteating grin of his, and his eyebrows wiggled a bit.

"Maybe."

Eridan leaned forward on the couch and hovered his face in front of Sollux's. The wide smile on his face was enough to make Sollux smile himself, and his smile only got wider when Eridan place little bird kisses on his lips.

"Well, _shit_," Eridan grunted after a moment, bumping his forehead against Sollux's. "No more rehearsin' for me."

"Haha, sucker."

"You sucked at it, anyway."

"I can't fucking _act_, asshole."

"Blah blah blah blah…" Eridan mumbled. He ended with another soft peck to Sollux's lips. "I ain't gonna get any homework done with you here, let alone rehearsin'."

"Want me to leave?"

"I _guess_ can afford a few more missed homework assignments."

Eridan pulled away and smiled at Sollux again. Sollux grinned back before flicking his eyes down to just gaze at their joined hands on his thigh.

"Hey, Eridan?"

"Hmmm?"

"I don't know… uh… I don't know when Karkat's going to let me back in," Sollux sighed. "Is it okay if I crash here for a while? Um…"

"Say no more," Eridan said with a dismissive shake of his head. He looked up at the ceiling and pursed his lips to the side in thought. "Actually, to be completely honest? I was gettin' a little… oh, I don't fuckin' know. J-Jealous? A little?"

Sollux cocked an eyebrow.

"Of what?"

Eridan scowled at him.

"Kar, o'course."

"…Really?"

"The guy_ I_ like is roommates with the guy _he_ likes. Did you honestly think I _wouldn't_ get just a little jealous of that?"

"…_Well_ then," Sollux huffed. He blinked a bit in pleasant surprise. "Should I be flattered or… flattered?"

"You can stay as long as you want," Eridan said, changing the subject. "Just as long as you help me keep the place clean. An' if you help get groceries, an' help me out when I'm havin' computer problems, et cetera."

"Thanks, Eridan," Sollux said softly. "I really, _really_ appreciate it. Truly."

"I've got ulterior motives, just so you knoooow," Eridan sang in a warning tone. He gave Sollux a severe look. "Be prepared for some hardcore flirtin'."

"Pfff. You're so desperate."

"Nope, nope, _nope_," Eridan insisted. "I just know what I want, an' I'm goin' after it."

"With the cheesiest, most unreal lines known to mankind."

"You'd like a theatre junky boyfriend, Sol. Just sayin'."

"No. You're gross. Theatre people are gross."

Eridan's lips curled back into a nasty half-trolling smile. Sollux put an identical look on his face. With a lick of his lips, he leaned in a bit.

A little ways into their sweet smooches and pointless love/hate muttering, Sollux felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Text," Sollux said, looking down and leaving Eridan to press an accidental kiss to his hairline.

"Nice kissin' etiquette, douche," Eridan grumbled.

"Sorry, one sec. Lemmie answer this." Sollux said, fishing his phone out of his pocket and flipping it open. He opened the text.

_H-EY Sollux! 38D_


	32. Chapter 32

[Chapter 32]

Sollux's knuckles rapped against the wood surface of the front door, and as he stood on the front porch, he looked up at the awning, which was decorated liberally with lights and bells and other lovely Christmas ornaments and trinkets.

The big inflatable snowman in the front yard had creeped him out the most.

When the door swung open, Sollux couldn't help but to smile at the beautiful young woman who appeared in the doorway. Long, thick, curly reddish-brown hair was absolutely everywhere. Her clothes made her look like a little girl's doll, what with the garish red Christmas sweater with the big picture of a Christmas tree on the front and the red-and-green frilly skirt that danced about her knees. She even wore candy cane stockings.

Sollux would never understand Christmas fashion.

"You look like a Christmas-themed hipster tool," Sollux commented out of the corner of his mouth.

"_Sollux!_" Feferi squealed. She launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. Sollux didn't know how to react to the sudden affection from her, but he hugged Feferi back anyway. She pulled back after a second and just hung off of his neck, gawking up at him through her glasses (which looked very pleasant on her face - even though they were silly, bright red horned reading glasses from the eighties). "Look at you!"

Sollux smiled a bit as Feferi reached up to pinch his cheeks.

"You gained some weight since I last saw you!" she said. "Come in, come in! Let's get out of the cold!"

Feferi pulled away from Sollux, only to grab his hand and excitedly lead him into the house. Sollux was sure to close the door behind him, then forced Feferi to pause while he slipped out of his shoes and jacket.

"Calm the fuck down, Feferi," Sollux laughed as Feferi positively bounced off the walls. "Jeez, nobody's been this excited to see me before."

Feferi skidded to a halt and gestured to herself to settle down.

"Alright, alright. Sorry!" she apologized, taking a deep breath. "It's just been so long since I've seen you, and I'm so sorry we weren't able to hang out before! I've just been so busy unpacking and all my classes and setting up carpools with friends… all that junk!"

"It's fine. I've been pretty busy myself," Sollux said. He pocketed his hands. "So how have you been?"

"I've been doing great!" Feferi said happily with a wide smile. Then, it faltered a bit. "But… to be honest, it's been a little lonely here all by myself. I really miss Eridan."

Feferi looked down and crinkled her nose as if she was going to cry. Sollux was quiet at first, processing Feferi's reaction to talking about Eridan. It wasn't hard to come to the conclusion that Feferi was just as upset about her and Eridan parting ways as he was, and something about that thawed Sollux's heart just a tad.

"He misses you too, Feferi," he said quietly. Feferi looked up at him, confusion etched in her features.

"What?"

"He misses you a lot," Sollux repeated. Feferi just stared at him.

"Y-You've been in contact with him?" she asked in a tiny voice. Sollux nodded.

"Yeah. A lot, actually. He's the reason why I've gained so much weight. I'm always hanging out at his house eating all his food. He gives me a bunch of shit for it."

Feferi's face scrunched up again and, without a sound, Sollux outstretched his arms. Immediately, Feferi ran to him and barreled into him, nearly knocking him over. She embraced him around his torso, burying her face in his chest.

"Thank you so much for being there for him. Thank you, thank you, thank you," she mumbled into Sollux's shirt.

"Yeah," Sollux said. "So is that the reason why you wanted to bring me out here this late at night? It was pretty hard to convince Eridan that I just needed to meet up with a 'friend asking about a gig that they need a laser light show for'. The guy's hard to lie to, you know?"

"Oh I know. That's why it was so hard to pretend to be angry with him," Feferi said. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were with… him."

As Feferi slowed down, her brows came together and she thought long and hard about something. Then, with questioning eyes, she looked back up at Sollux.

"Sollux, has Eridan… has he um… come… has he come on to you at all?"

"What do you mean?" Sollux asked, preparing to jump onto the defensive side if he needed.

"Oh, no no no, I'm not suggesting anything!" Feferi blurted. "But… well, Eridan is gay, and you're so very…handsome … um, so I wondered if… I wondered if he came on to you, is all."

"Uh…" Sollux hummed, reaching up to scratch at the stubble on his chin. "…Yeah, he has."

Feferi flushed bright red.

"I-I'm really sorry, Sollux!" she stammered. "I didn't… it's just how he is, and I know he probably made things really awk-"

"It's okay. I'm actually a little…"

"…Interested?" Feferi whispered after a long pause. Sollux shrugged.

"Sure…? I guess… uh, I guess I didn't mind it that he came on to me? I'm just… you know… considering the 'what ifs' a little. Keeping my mind open."

He was going to keep his sexuality on the DL for a while. While Feferi was a kind, thoughtful woman, Sollux wasn't quite sure how she'd react to his sexuality. She seemed okay with Eridan being gay but… somehow, the way she tiptoed around the subject made Sollux a bit nervous. So, for the time being, he reverted back to his 'aloof bisexual' nature.

That decision was mostly sparked by the look Feferi gave him. She appeared to be completely _astounded_ by the idea. It wasn't a negative reaction, but it wasn't positive, either.

"O-Oh," she finally said. She looked down for a second. "How about… how about we go get some hot chocolate!"

"Alright," Sollux agreed, pocketing his hands. He followed Feferi to the kitchen and she started clumsily digging around for the ingredients. She barely looked Sollux in the eye.

Finally, Sollux's curiosity got the better of him.

"Feferi, do you have something against gays?"

Feferi jumped a little and hugged a packet of cocoa close to her breast.

"N-No!" she gasped. "Not r-really."

"You're like, freaked out."

"Sorry. It's just… well, my stepdad left Mama because… well, I think he was interested in both men _and_ women… because about a month before he left us, I saw him… um, in his room with another guy. Just kissing! Nothing else. I didn't know how to react, so I just kept quiet about it. I didn't want to hurt Mama, so I didn't tell her. And Eridan was being a huge grump at the time, and I didn't want to make him angrier."

"Oh. So you just feel a bit awkward about it, then?" Sollux asked. Feferi looked down at her feet and nodded.

"I don't know, it's just… I promise I have nothing against gay people! A lot of people mistake me for having a problem, and I get a lot of crap from people because of it when they find out. I've lost friends over it. But I promise I'm not against them at all! It's just really hard for me to accept and process. You understand, right? Please?"

By the end, Feferi sounded pretty damn desperate to keep her friendship with Sollux. Sollux gestured for her to calm down.

"Chill, Feferi. It's cool. I understand."

Feferi took a huge sigh of relief.

"So, Eridan told me a little bit about your guys' family. You mentioned that you didn't want to hurt your mom, but Eridan said that you guys and your mom don't get along very well?" Sollux asked. "If it's personal, you don't have to answer that."

"Oh, Eridan's just being a drama queen when he says that," Feferi giggled. "Mama's really not… she's just really hard to understand. She loves us very much, and she wants us to be the absolute best we can be. Eridan probably has such a rough relationship with her because he reminds her of his dad. She just… sometimes she pushes _way_ too hard on poor Eridan, and it makes him feel like he's being personally attacked. Mama's kind of rough with me too, and she is constantly emphasizing on the fact that she's like… the head honcho at our house. She's in control of everything! She's paying for our education and dorms here! And she never let us take driver's training, either, because she doesn't want us to try and leave… it's just a big pickle, Sollux!"

"Damn. Tough love?" Sollux asked. Feferi nodded fervently.

"Exactly. Eridan just doesn't get that. But then again, I can understand how he feels. Mama treats him a lot rougher than she treats me."

"What do you mean?"

"She sets the bar much too high for him is all," Feferi sighed. "I mean, she's the owner and president of _Betty Crocker_, and-"

"Wait, your mom owns _Betty_ fucking _Crocker?_ The cupcake and cake and that kind of shit company?" Sollux asked incredulously. "No wonder you guys are fucking filthy rich!"

Feferi laughed.

"Ahaha, yeah… just keep quiet about it, okay? Me and Eridan don't want people swarming us with questions."

"I hear you."

"Anyway, she's successful, so obviously she wants _us_ to be successful. And… Mama really hates the idea of me taking over the company someday for some reason, so she's not pressuring me to take over the company or anything. In fact, she insisted that I follow my own path and do whatever I want with my life as long as I stay away from her company."

"Harsh."

"Mhm. However, Eridan… she knows that he would never dare to touch her company. Ever. So she pushes him away and basically tells him 'either you make a reputation for my name, or I will disown you from this family'."

"For _her_ name?"

"For her name," Feferi repeated. "Not the family's name. Her name. She's… she's really hard to love, Sollux, but she's family. I can't _not_ love my family. I know it sounds weird, but I guess I put up with it because she's family."

"I understand what you mean," Sollux mumbled, clenching his fists in his pockets as he looked down at the floor. "It's frustrating, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Well… anyway, how have you been?"

Sollux looked up again to see Feferi get back to hurrying around the kitchen and making hot chocolate.

"Pretty good."

"Excited for Christmas break?"

Sollux thought for a second. He usually spent Christmas with Karkat's family, but…

Well _that_ wasn't going to fucking work this year.

"I'm excited to be done with classes," Sollux finally answered. There. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth, either. "They're getting boring as hell."

"I love my classes!" Feferi laughed, spinning around and going to her water dispenser. She poured hot water into two mugs, then with a little stir, she finished and handed one of them to Sollux. He mumbled a thank-you and they went to the living room together.

When they sat down on the couch, Sollux watched Feferi change her position at least five times before getting comfortable with her legs crossed.

"Wanna watch some TV?" she asked, glancing over at Sollux. Sollux shrugged and took a lazy drink of his hot chocolate. It was incredibly sweet, but Sollux didn't mind.

"Whatever you wanna do," he answered. Feferi smiled and looked down at her lap.

"I'll keep it off, then."

There was a long, almost uncomfortable silence. Longingly, Sollux looked over at the window. Through the fuzzy glow of Christmas lights, he could just see the blurry smear that was his truck waiting outside. Damn, he needed some new glasses.

"Sollux?"

"Yeah?"

Sollux turned back to Feferi, and she was frowning down into her mug. Her finger circled the rim, and her thumb rubbed almost frantically at the mug.

"Can… Can I ask for some advice?"

Sollux leaned forward to set his mug down on the coffee table, then angled his body towards Feferi and put a hand on the back of the couch just behind Feferi's head.

"Sure. Whatcha need?"

"Well… I wanted to get your opinion on something, Sollux. It's… well, just don't tell anyone, okay?"

"You have my word."

"Okay. Well, um… let's just say that there's someone that I like."

Sollux raised his eyebrows.

"Oh really?" he asked. "Who? Do I know them?"

"Th-That doesn't matter, really," Feferi stammered. "Um… the problem is that I… I don't know if they like girls or not."

Sollux blinked and sat back a little.

"And you're worried that they won't feel the same way?"

"It's just that I hardly know them!" Feferi exclaimed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And I think they like someone else, too! It feels so silly for me to fall for someone so fast like this, but it was… it was love at first sight, I think. And now I'm really confused and upset and _nervous_."

"That sucks," Sollux sighed. He looked away and thought for a moment, scratching his chin. "Well maybe, for now, you should just try to get closer to them. Talk to them and make sure they know that you're always there for them. That's a surefire way to gain anyone's trust and appreciation. For some people, it'll be harder to earn that trust than others. But if you really care about this person, then I say go for it! And when the time feels right, you can tell them your feelings or whatever. But unfortunately… sometimes it doesn't matter what your feelings are if they don't like girls. The worst thing you could do is try to force something on someone who will never change."

Sollux replayed the words he had said in his head, and he felt awful again.

"You'll hate just giving up like that, but…" Sollux trailed off. He cough-laughed a little and turned away, staring hard at his cocoa mug with a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Sollux? Are you okay?"

Sollux blinked and shook his head.

"That stepbrother of yours," Sollux said in a small voice. He put his head in his hand. "He's going to be the fucking death of me."

"Why? What'd he do?"

"Turning my whole Goddamn world upside-down, Feferi."

"How so?"

"He likes me and I like him," Sollux stated. Feferi was absolutely silent. When Sollux looked at her, her lips were parted and her brow had creased. She gulped, and Sollux continued. "And I'm wondering why I'm still holding on to something that I can never have. It's the stubborn asshole in me, I guess."

"Sollux, I have _no_ idea what you're talking about."

Her voice was hoarse and she sounded positively flabbergasted. When Sollux looked at her, her jaw was clenched and her eyes were darting from her mug to Sollux to the TV to Sollux to anywhere in the room except Sollux.

"Let's put it this way," Sollux said, holding up a finger. "…I have absolutely no idea what my feelings are doing."

Sollux slumped and looked down for a moment.

"What do you think, Feferi?"

"I think… I think I'm completely glubbin' confused!"

Sollux lifted his head and squinted.

"What?"

"Nothing," Feferi said, looking away. "So you like my stepbrother."

She clicked her tongue.

"Feferi, is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" she said a bit too loudly and a bit too fast. She took a shaky sip of her cocoa. "I'm just… I don't know how to react. He _is_ my stepbrother, after all!"

"Do you want to stop talking about it…?"

"No, not at all! Tell me more! You can _trust_ me! Just how far have you gone with him?"

"Uhhhhh…!" Sollux trailed off loudly, heat rising in his cheeks as Feferi leaned forward with an intense look on her face. "Feferi…?"

She let out a peal of giggles before slapping her hand over her mouth. She put her head down.

"Sorry," she said, muffled. "I got a little too riled up. I'm being weird. Sorry."

"Alrighty then," Sollux exhaled, realizing he had been leaning far away from Feferi.

"Wow. Wow I am just so confused right now."

"Me too," Sollux said, glancing around with nervous eyes.

"I'm confused as to why I'm just so… so _happy_ for you, Sollux," Feferi said, struggling hard with her words. "I just don't know what to say. Part of me is a little iffy because of the whole stepdad thing, but the other part of me is just… _ecstatic_ for you two."

"Oh. Well thanks, Feferi. You're a real great friend, you know that? Thanks for understanding. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to ask him out yet. It's going to happen, but I don't know when. What do you think?"

When Sollux looked over, Feferi was shaking with a strained smile on her face.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, I just… I realized I have some homework that I need to get done, so I should probably get working on that! Also, you probably don't want to keep Eridan waiting. He'll get suspicious."

"Oh, right," Sollux said. "Thanks for inviting me over to hang out for a bit, Feferi. It was nice seeing you again."

Feferi stood at the same time as Sollux, and he hadn't so much as taken a single step before she was flinging her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly, refusing to let go even after a good twenty seconds had passed. Sollux hugged her as well, awkwardly patting her back.

"I'll see you later," he said, pulling away and heading to the door. He couldn't help but to feel like he was being rushed out, however, as he put his jacket and shoes on.

"Let's hang out again sometime," Feferi said. Sollux looked over his shoulder at her, and she still had that strange smile on her face.

"Feferi, are you absolutely _sure_ you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Sollux!" Feferi said, waving her hand. "Really, I'm very happy for you. Tell me how it goes! Tell me everything!"

Sollux was tempted to ask Feferi if she was alright one more time, but before he knew it, he was booted out onto the front porch. Just as he started to turn around, the front door had been shut a little too hard. There was a rubbing sound on the other side, as if someone was leaning hard against it.

Completely and utterly confused as to what had just transpired, Sollux turned and walked off the front porch and to his truck. He gave up on it moments later, though, passing it off as more female things that he would never understand.

He was glad he was gay.

* * *

><p><strong>Fef done pulled a Jane.<strong>


	33. Chapter 33

**Here's another chapter. :)**

****IMPORTANT** things you'll need to know for this chapter:**

**_Proscenium Theatre/Stage_: A proscenium theatre is a theatre space whose primary feature is a large frame or arch (called the _proscenium arch_ even though it is frequently not a rounded archway at all), which is located at or near the front of the stage. The use of the term "proscenium arch" is explained by the fact that in Latin, the stage is known as the "proscenium", meaning "in front of the scenery."**

**_My definition_: Basically it's the typical stage you'll see at a high school. It's characterized a lot by the fact that it's like a window, or a picture frame, and the audience looks into it.**

**_Thrust Theatre/Stage_: A stage that extends into the auditorium so that the audience is seated around three sides.**

**_Grand Curtain_: a curtain that hangs just upstage (behind) of the proscenium arch and is used to close the acting area from the audience's view when the acting area is not supposed to be seen. The Grand Curtain is typically part of the formal opening of a stage production - the house lights dim, the audience settles and the grand drape is removed from the scene revealing the stage and its contents behind. **

**_House_: the audience area. Also know as the auditorium.**

**_Catwalk_: narrow aisles above and around the stage that are used to control the technical aspects of a performance, such as lighting.**

**_Orchestra Pit, or "The Pit"_: where the orchestra or band plays music or instrumental sound effects for a show. Usually located just in front of and below the stage area. Sometimes, in professional theatre, the orchestra even plays above the stage, concealed by a curtain.**

**_Flyspace_: the area above the proscenium stage that is used to conceal set pieces (which are later dropped down to be used as part of the show). If the fly space is big enough, it can also be used to 'fly' a person with a harness.  
><strong>

**Enjoy. :3**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 33]<p>

Two weeks passed by quietly. When Christmas break started, Sollux just spent his time on campus. Thankfully, Eridan wasn't too keen on visiting his family, either, so Sollux had someone with whom he could spend his Christmas.

Eridan set up a Christmas tree in his dorm, and together he and Sollux had decorated it with stupid paper ornaments that Eridan had insisted on making. Sollux ended up making a penis and balls ornament to 'represent Eridan', to which Eridan responded with a paper vagina, which 'represented a stupid fucktard named Sol'.

In the end, both of the paper monstrosities had been thrown away and together they sat down to make origami swans and dragons instead. Like _real_ manly men.

Eridan bought Sollux a new pair of glasses soon after that, once he realized just how difficult it was for Sollux to see. They were much like his old ones, except rimless. They were very simple and neat and to the point, and again Sollux felt warmth creeping up from the pit of his belly at the fact that Eridan knew so much about him.

Eridan also had a spare key for his dorm made, and on one quiet night, he had timidly dropped it into Sollux's hand and had closed his fingers around it. In the light of the fireplace, and as the wind howled outside, Eridan had gazed up into Sollux's eyes, his chilled hands cupping his.

Sollux wasn't really one for cheesy romance scenes, but with Eridan he didn't care much. He didn't care about the sweet nothings that escaped his lips, Eridan's soft whispering of his name, and the thick, chocolaty mushy stuff that constantly flowed between them. They were being cheesy, unreal fantasy boys from the deepest, darkest depths of all the shitty romcoms in the world.

And Sollux didn't give a fuck.

Probably because he was lost in the way Eridan's honey locks curled around his ears as if they were always meant to be there. He was lost in the way Eridan laughed, spoke, and carried himself. He was lost in his smell and his taste, and Goddamn it, that accent was so fucking _adora_-

Sollux was afraid of the feelings he was feeling for this person with whom he was living. He was afraid of the way that Karkat's memory still made his heart squeeze painfully, but it wasn't so agonizing as before. He was terrified that he was slowly being coiled around Eridan's little jewelry-clad finger, and he was fucking letting it happen. He tried so hard to resist, but… but…

There was just something so alluring about him that made Sollux want to follow him everywhere. He wanted to shadow his steps to his class, sit beside him in History and play with his wavy hair, tease him in Art, kiss him all the way to Technical Writing.

And… he wanted to hold his hand all the way back home.

Home. What?

_What?_

_Fuck, fuck, fuck_, _fuck_, _Sollux. What the fuck are you doing? You're too involved. Get out. Stop it. You love Karkat. He should be with you. You should be kissing him, winning him. You've loved him for years you can't just stop, Sollux. Stop trying to change._

Fuck.

The thoughts dragged Sollux out of sleep, and he had to squint against the morning light leaking in through the window. It took him a few groggy moments to wake up enough to realize that he was definitely pressed up against something nice and chilled.

Eridan's back was to him in the bed, and Sollux's arm was draped over his waist. Eridan's hand was rested over Sollux's on his stomach.

Yawning, Sollux thought back to the night before. Eridan had suddenly appeared in the doorway of the guest room, all wrapped up in his plaid pajamas. Sollux had been on his laptop, and when he noticed Eridan was there, he was greeted by a softly illuminated face. His expression was shy, and his fingertips danced down the doorframe.

He asked Sollux to come sleep with him. Without a word, Sollux had shut his laptop. He had gotten out of bed, he had taken Eridan by the hips, and he had kissed him. There had been a hungry look in Eridan's face, and Sollux had picked up on it immediately.

And that's how they ended up with nothing but their underwear on that morning, with several articles of clothing scattered all over the floor.

Sollux removed his arm from Eridan's waist, then quietly sat up to scratch his back and get the kinks out of his shoulders.

"Sol…?" Eridan murmured in his semi-conscious state. He rolled onto his back and rested his hand against Sollux's back. "Where are you goin'?"

"I was thinking that I'd make breakfast," Sollux replied in an equally quiet voice. Eridan mumbled something and squinted.

"Cuddle with me."

"Eridan, I'm hungry."

"Cuddle with me, Cod damn it."

Sollux let out a long sigh and lied back down. Eridan opened his arms to receive Sollux, then slipped his arm around his shoulder and held him against his side. Sollux rested his head against his chest and walked his fingers up and down Eridan's smooth skin, enjoying how it felt against his fingertips.

"Do you know what today is?" Eridan asked after a long, comfortable silence.

"…Christmas already?"

"Shut the fuck up. No, it's audition day."

"Ohhh. You nervous?"

Eridan gripped Sollux's hand on his chest, and Sollux was surprised to feel how clammy and cold it was.

"I'm scared shitless," Eridan whispered. Sollux sat up a bit and propped his head up on his elbow.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked. Eridan sighed.

"The only 'help' I can get now is just calmin' the hell down. I'll never be able to perform if I'm all jittery like this."

Sollux thought for a second before putting a hand on the center of Eridan's torso and trailing it up his chest. He caressed the hollow of Eridan's neck.

"I can help you with that, too," he said in a soft tone. He stooped his head to kiss Eridan's pectoral.

"I'm not in the mood, Sol," Eridan mumbled, looking away. He drew in a small hiss, however, when Sollux dragged his hand down to his abdomen and tickled the sensitive skin there.

"It'll help you relax," Sollux coaxed. "You don't have to, but I promise it'll help you relax."

Eridan studied Sollux with a skeptical look on his face before sighing.

"Fine, but I wanna do it alone."

"You're mean," Sollux pouted as he watched Eridan kick a couple blankets off of his legs and bring his hands down to gently palm himself.

"You could learn a thing or two from this," Eridan said, his voice already starting to shake as he pushed down the front of his briefs and touched himself. "You're always so rough with me."

"If you'd told me that earlier…"

"You're welcome to kiss me," Eridan breathed, tipping his head back. "An' touch me."

Sollux smiled a bit and rested his hand on Eridan's stomach. He rubbed in small circles, which made Eridan's eyes slide shut and his hips rise just a tad.

"_Gentle_," he sighed as Sollux kissed his way up his neck and to his jaw.

"You like it like that?" Sollux asked in a low, rumbling voice right into Eridan's ear. He moaned in response and dug the back of his head into the pillow.

When Eridan had developed a good rhythm, he took away one hand to leave the job to the other. His now free hand went up and down his chest, ghosting over his nipples and combing through the soft hairs of his happy trail. Sollux observed silently, laying his head down beside Eridan's on the pillow. He looked up at Eridan's face, watching how it contorted and relaxed. He was only panting lightly now, his slow tugging enough to bring him pleasure but not enough to finish him. Sollux decided it was high time for him to help out.

When Sollux's hand joined Eridan's in the careful stroking, Eridan jumped a bit and let out a choked gasp. His head turned to the side and he nuzzled against Sollux's face.

Sollux picked up the pace ever so slightly, but not enough to get put in the 'rough' category. Sweat was beginning to gather on Eridan's brow, so Sollux propped himself up on his elbow again and used his free hand to hold Eridan's bangs out of his eyes.

"S…S…" Eridan hissed, chomping down on his bottom lip. "S-o_-ol."_

When Eridan had successfully choked out his name, Sollux attacked his throat and trailed the tip of his tongue all the way up to the tip of Eridan's chin. The action made Eridan's toes curl against the bedsheets, and with a long, quiet moan, he spilled over into both of their hands. Sollux let Eridan completely control the pace while he was riding out his orgasm, because after so many times of them having 'sex' (it didn't really count since all they did was frot), Sollux was quite aware of how sensitive Eridan's dick got directly after an orgasm.

So he just kissed Eridan's lips, swallowing his pants and the tiny, guttural noises escaping from the back of his throat.

Sure enough, Eridan melted into the sheets with a small, contented smile on his face when he was finished. Sollux laid his head down on Eridan's shoulder, snuggling up close to his side. Eridan's arm returned to shoulders, and with his clean hand he stroked his bare arm up and down.

"Are you feeling calmed down, now?" Sollux asked, tilting his head up. Eridan looked down at him and laughed breathlessly before looking up at the ceiling again.

"I feel like I'm floatin' on clouds."

"Want me to set an alarm so we can nap a bit?"

"…Yeah…"

As Eridan shut his eyes, Sollux reached clumsily behind him and grabbed his phone off of the night stand. He set it to go off in an hour, then snapped it shut and put it on Eridan's chest.

With that, Sollux nestled against him and drifted into a post-orgasm doze. It didn't matter that he hadn't jerked off and that he was sporting a slight boner still. In fact, he felt just as relaxed and dozy as Eridan. Before he drifted too far, he wondered why he felt that way.

* * *

><p>Later, after separate showers and a hot breakfast designed especially for Eridan to avoid clogging up his throat, they pulled on their shoes and jackets and went out to Sollux's truck. On the way down the elevator, Eridan crossed his arms and restlessly tapped his foot, mouthing the words to a song with which he would audition.<p>

In the truck, Eridan was bouncing his leg so much that it shook the whole vehicle, and he was wringing his mitten-clad hands. He kept clearing his throat.

"Oh Cod," Eridan rasped. "I think I'm losin' my voice. Does it sound like I'm losin' my voice?"

"You _have_ to chill out, Eridan," Sollux scolded. "If you lock up, you're going to forget everything that we practiced. If you psyche yourself out, you're not going to make the cut. And you're not losing your voice. You're nervous and it's just making your throat tighten up is all. Stop clearing it and coughing, or you're _really_ going to lose your voice."

Eridan took a deep breath and looked out the window again, gnawing hard on his lips.

"Sol?" he breathed.

"Yeah?"

When Eridan didn't answer, Sollux looked over and saw him eyeing his hand, which was resting innocently on the armrest. Without a word, he flipped it over and splayed his fingers. Eridan took his mitten off and grabbed Sollux's hand. He squeezed hard. It was kind of gross, because his hand was absolutely drenched in sweat. It felt like it'd slip out of Sollux's grasp like a wet bar of soap, but Sollux held on anyway.

They held hands all the way to theatre hall.

And that was where Eridan stopped shaking completely. Sollux watched his astonishing transformation from the jittery, near-to-tears boy that had been whimpering in his car not a moment ago to the solid, silent man with a cold face and a superior look in his eye.

Eridan was set to murder mode.

"You're going to do great," Sollux murmured when Eridan wriggled his hand out of Sollux's and wiped the sweat off on his pants. Eridan slid his eyes over to him, his impassive face unchanging.

"O'course I am," he said lowly. "I'm Eridan fuckin' Ampora. This buildin' fuckin' _belongs_ to me."

But Eridan's face faltered just a tad, and he gave Sollux a questioning, tentative look. Sollux nodded once before leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. When he pulled away, the aloof look had returned to Eridan's face, and he gazed evenly at Sollux with half-lidded, darkened eyes.

"I'll make you the most fucking cheesy, milky dinner when we get back to your dorm," Sollux said in his most seductive voice. "And it's going to clog up your throat for a fucking _week_."

"Are you talkin' about food or your cock?"

"Depends on what you'd prefer."

"I'd prefer food over your nasty dick any day."

"There's that sexy confidence that I like so much."

Eridan's lips pulled up into a little smile, and his eyes softened just a bit.

"You've been a great help, Sol. I… I really appreciate all you've done, and I just wanted you to know that I'm really glad I met you and fell in-"

"You can thank me _after_ you get casted into this fucking musical," Sollux said, cutting off Eridan's rambling. "Come on, babe. Show them the same talent you showed me."

Eridan looked down and shook his head, then took a deep breath and returned to his murder mode state once more. They got out of Sollux's truck and walked across the parking lot to the main doors, where Eridan flung them open with a great flourish and swaggered inside like a fucking boss.

In the hallway they passed several others who were walking in the opposite direction. Some were talking nervously with their friends, their hair drenched with sweat. A few others were openly crying. Another was sobbing hysterically in her friend's arms.

Sollux sent a concerned look to Eridan's back, but he seemed unfazed by the despair that seemed to get worse and worse the farther they got down the hall. Finally, they got to a set of double doors, where a sign that said _QUIET PLEASE!_ was taped to the door.

Without missing a single step, Eridan opened the doors (albeit a bit quieter than he had opened the front doors) and walked inside. Sollux slipped inside behind him and sucked in a huge breath.

The great theatre was absolutely enormous. It could probably easily hold at least four to five thousand people, what with the immense balcony that hung over the back half of the seats at the bottom section. Everything angled down to a huge drop-off (guarded by a railing of course), where the pit for the orchestra was located.

And that all led up to the stage. Its grand curtain was a shade of deep, royal purple. Sollux instantly thought of Eridan, and it was no wonder why the theatre business was right up his alley.

The stage itself was not something Sollux had seen before. By definition, it was a proscenium stage; however there was quite a lot of stage space available in front of the grand curtains, which reminded Sollux of a thrust stage. He also noticed that a bit of the house coiled around to face the stage on almost three sides, just enough to fit more people and allow the audience to see everything on stage.

It was still a strange setup.

Curious about the technical aspects of the theatre, Sollux looked up to study the arches and panels overhead that concealed the catwalk. There wasn't much to work with up there, so Sollux came to the conclusion that the flyspace directly above the stage was enormous as well. He wondered how big. Was it enough to fly a person? Was that how they would perform _Peter Pan?_

"Sol!" Eridan hissed, snapping Sollux out of his thoughts. He looked towards the direction of the voice, and saw Eridan sitting a few rows up in the audience. He had a number on a piece of paper taped to his chest. Sollux hunched his shoulders and quickly tiptoed up to where Eridan was sitting. He sank down beside him, and before he could even get settled, Eridan was clutching his hand with a bone-breaking grip.

Sollux found out why a second later.

"… can try again, he's just got a cold," a girl was begging on the stage. She was in the bright spotlight, standing directly in front of the grand curtain with her male partner, who was coughing and hacking into the inside of his elbow.

"You're only as strong as your weakest link. Your performance suffered, and you will not be casted in my musical," boomed a tall, wiry man in a white-and-green suit, who stood from his place at the judging table in the orchestra pit. "Now if you'd like a chance in my theatre program ever again, I would get off my stage."

"Please sir, just one more cha-"

"_Off or you are out of the theatre program indefinitely!_"

She and her partner both burst into tears. The boy with her blubbered his apologies as they hurried off stage. They exited the theatre before Sollux could hear what the girl had to say. An eerie silence filled the room. Sollux slowly leaned in towards Eridan.

"Is he the same guy who casted for _Peter Pan?_" Sollux breathed as quietly as he could. Eridan, who had gone completely stiff and was staring wide-eyed at the stage, jerkily shook his head. Sollux looked into his eyes, and saw that they were already watering in terror.

Sollux lifted Eridan's shaking hand and pressed a tender kiss to each of his knuckles, thankful that they were concealed in the darkness of the house.

"Next?" the man in the suit called with an incredibly annoyed tone. A pair stood up on the opposite side of the house and made their way to the stage.

Their review wasn't much better, but at least they made it through the duo. Both were able to audition with singing as well. In the end, only one of the two girls cried. Sollux saw it as an improvement.

"Next?"

Eridan shifted and stood up. Sollux heard movement behind them, and he looked over his shoulder to see another girl stand. She had shoulder length, choppy black hair, and she had a big, excited grin glued to her face. Her glasses were pretty flashy and the rims were thick and bright, _bright_ red. She came off as a little crazy to Sollux. After all, how could anybody be excited about the executioner they were about to face?

"You ready, Rezi?" Eridan whispered as he released Sollux's hand. He didn't even send Sollux a fleeting glance as he walked away, and all Sollux could do was silently appreciate his utter courage. Sollux wouldn't have even had the balls to stand up.

"Ready as I'll ever be," the girl replied in a thick Brooklyn accent. She let out a quiet yet high-pitched round of giggles. "Let's give him hell."

Eridan watched as they walked up to the stage. 'Rezi' was significantly shorter than Eridan, but she was quite a bit pudgy and broad. She was noticeably pear-shaped, and her hips and ass flared out a bit wider than her shoulders.

Sollux's eyes remained glued to them as they stepped into the spotlight and silently faced the judge. The glare from the spotlight shone in their glasses, and their faces were even more impassive than before.

"Go when you're ready," Mr. White Suit said, obviously bored.

"Hello, my name is Eridan Ampora," Eridan announced in a strong, confident voice. Mr. White Suit looked up from the pencil he was playing with.

"And my name is Terezi Pyrope," Terezi said, her lips twitching a bit around that huge grin of hers.

"An' we'll be performing as Benedict and Beatrice in _Much Ado About Nothin'_ by William Shakespeare."

Mr. White Suit nodded.

"Interesting. This is the first time I've seen any of you… young people… _professionally_ introduce yourselves. Very well. You have piqued my interest. Go on."

Eridan didn't react, but Sollux could tell he was trying not to smile.

They began their performance.

Things started out normally, as Sollux suspected. Eridan delivered his lines smoothly, and Terezi fed off of his energy with a pretty good performance. It wasn't as good as Eridan's, but it didn't take away from his, either.

About halfway through, things started to get wacky.

Eridan's fluctuations in volume got a little out of control, and for the first time, Sollux thought he was _over_acting. Fear for Eridan began to grip at him, and Sollux clenched the armrest of his seat.

His gestures were forced, his tone sounded fake. Eridan Ampora was _trying too hard_.

And he didn't even realize it.

Desperately, Sollux sat up and waited for Eridan's eyes to pass over the audience. After an agonizing minute of waiting and watching, Eridan's eyes finally met Sollux's and he smiled a little. Sollux waved his arms and mouthed _'tone it down, tone it down!_'. Miraculously, Eridan got the message, jumped a little, and reverted instantly back to normal. However, his performance suffered, and he didn't quite get up to par before the scene was finished.

Terezi and Eridan separated from their waltz and bowed.

Mr. White Suit very slowly got up from his chair.

"Miss Pyrope, it says here that you are only signing up for the chorus?" Mr. White Suit asked.

"Yes, Doctor Scratch."

"Very well. Then you are dismissed to the chorus audition room. It is down the hall and to your left. You will receive your score within the week. Thank you."

Terezi nodded before turning and rushing off stage.

Eridan was left alone in the spotlight.

"_Mr_. Ampora," Doc Scratch said. There was a long pause. "Do you think the program we are running here is some sort of… joke? A game, if you will? A circus? A simple… _comedy_ show?"

"No, sir," Eridan whispered.

"_Project your voice_!"

"No, _sir!_"

"You had me at your professional introduction, Mr. Ampora. And the first half of your scene was above the average level of performance from _half_ of the ingrates who show up in here. But beyond that point, I'm wondering if you suddenly had a drop in intelligence. Do you take me for a _fool_, Mr. Ampora? _Do_ you?"

"No, sir."

"I'm going to listen to your singing audition now," Doc Scratch sighed. "And if you expect to go _anywhere_ in this program, Mr. Uppity Rich Snob of a _freshman_, you will release the notion that you are the _best_ this school has to offer. Because based on the terrible performance you just forced down my throat, the chances of you even pulling out of the University of Combfield with your degree in theatre are less. Than. Zero. Have I made myself clear?"

"…Yes."

"Good," Doc Scratch, his voice becoming creepily gentle once more. He sat down. "You may begin. Would you like me to play your starting note?"

"Yes, sir. Please, sir."

Doc Scratch reached over and picked up a small device, then pressed a button. A clear tone played.

As Eridan sang, a sort of warmth blossomed inside of Sollux and crept up and down his legs. It tickled his ribs and gripped his heart in a way that he hadn't felt before.

He was experiencing a painful ache for this man as he sang up on the stage. The ache was full of pity, respect, admiration. Adoration.

This man had taken a verbal beating from someone who didn't know him. Someone who didn't understand how hard Eridan had worked on his performance. He didn't understand that Eridan, in his nervousness, had experienced a slipup and was usually so much better. He didn't realize that Eridan had such a great passion in his dreams and was willing to do anything to achieve them. He just didn't know.

Yet Eridan took the beating without so much as a blink of his eye. He stood upon that stage and sang his heart out with the voice that had sent Sollux into a trance all those weeks ago. It was a wonderful voice, and Sollux was glad he could hear it clearly instead of through the wall of the bathroom.

Sollux dug his nails into the knees of his jeans and fisted the denim in his hands. His toes curled in his shoes. His entire body tensed up with feelings for Eridan. He had feelings for the sweat dripping down his brow, he had feelings for the way his stupid hipster glasses were fogging up, and he had feelings for the way Eridan had slight problems with the English diphthongs because of his accent. He had feelings for the way Eridan was cautious with his gestures at first, and then he had even more feelings for the way Eridan loosened up and let everything come naturally.

He had fucking _feelings_ towards Eridan. Gnawing, unbearable, aching feelings.

The same question from before resurfaced in his mind. Why was he holding on so desperately to Karkat? Karkat, who booted him out on his ass for loving him so much. Karkat, who kissed him for the sake of pushing him away. Karkat, who dated someone just to shake Sollux off. Karkat, who lashed out at him and just wanted to be his bro and nothing more. What was the point?

What was the point if Sollux had Eridan? Sassy, bitchy, Eridan? Eridan who, despite Sollux's emotional instability, had took him in. He had kissed the pain away, he made Sollux forget. By no means was he perfect. There were still things about him that infuriated Sollux, that made him want to shout and scream and throw a fit against a wall.

But that made the whole thing all the more _exciting_.

…_Who was Karkat, again?_

Eridan came to the climax of his song and held that high note with perfect pitch and technique, then came back down for the end of his song.

When he finished, the last note reverberated throughout the entire auditorium.

And then everything went dead silent. Except for Eridan, of course, who was panting on stage as he held his end pose.

Doc Scratch slowly stood.

He put his hands together.

And clapped once, twice, three times exactly.

"Mr. Ampora, it says here that you are trying out for all of the male parts?"

Sollux perked up. Eridan had listened to his advice.

"Yes, sir."

"You are not as dense as I thought," Doc Scratch said. "…You are dismissed. We will contact you with your score at a later date. Good day."

Eridan bowed a little before walking off stage. Sollux jumped up and met him at the door, where they nearly collided. Eridan didn't look him in the eye.

"Do you have my coat?" Eridan asked very softly.

"Right here," Sollux whispered back. Eridan nodded.

They walked quietly out of the building and into the cold weather, where Eridan didn't even ask for his coat. He cringed against the cold in his white dress shirt with the slim black vest overtop. Rushing to the truck, Eridan climbed in and crossed his arms as Sollux went around to the driver's side and climbed in.

He set Eridan's coat in his lap and watched as he draped it over his shoulders.

"Eridan?" Sollux asked. Eridan shook his head.

"Not n-n-now," Eridan said. "Just… Just p-please take me home, Sol. Please."

Sollux didn't know if he was shivering out of shock or because of the cold.

He pulled out of the parking lot and began heading back, but they hadn't even gotten a block away from the theatre building before Eridan spoke up.

"Pull over. Sol, pull over, please," Eridan whimpered. Sollux looked over at him in bewilderment.

"Eridan? Are you going to fucking puke or something?"

"Sol, pull over."

Sollux sighed and pulled into a parking lot of a drug store. He parked in one of the farthest parking spaces. He was hit with a wave of nostalgia as he hid his car behind a pair of pine trees.

But if Eridan thought for a second that Sollux would hold his hair back while he puked, he had another thing comi-

The second Sollux parked the truck, Eridan sucked in a huge breath and collapsed into sobs. Startled, Sollux watched him curl in on himself and just cry and cry, not even bothering to hide his face. Eridan removed his glasses and threw them down before bringing his knees up to bawl into them.

"Eridan…" Sollux murmured. "Eridan, come on. It's not that bad…"

"It's _terrible!_" Eridan barked between massive hiccups.

"Alright, alright," Sollux said gingerly. "Alright. Come on."

Sollux unbuckled his seat belt and slid over to Eridan's side. He unbuckled Eridan's seat belt as well. The second he was free, Eridan flew into Sollux's arms and cried into his shoulder, clutching hard at the back of his jacket. Sollux embraced him tightly and smoothed down his hair. He rubbed his back and gently hushed him, patiently waiting for the sobs and blubbering to fade.

"I was so nervous, an', an', I didn't know what to do, an' I had no idea… was I actin' too much? What'd I do?" Eridan wept, losing control of his ability to speak. Sollux calmed him some more, then pulled away to look Eridan in the eye.

"You were trying too hard, Eridan," he said bluntly. "And that took away from your acting. That was probably your problem with _Peter Pan_, too. You were nervous and you psyched yourself out, and the way that you deal with that is that you just overcompensate. It's like… like overcorrecting when you drive. All it does it cause crashes. I swear to God you're the best actor I've seen in my entire life. And that might not be saying anything special because the only actors I've seen were on a stage in an amateur high school performance. But Eridan, you have so much potential to be fucking perfect. No wait. You already are perfect and skilled at acting. All you have to do is learn how to use it right. You need more experience on the stage."

"But I'm not gonna get casted n-now. He fuckin' _hated_ me."

"He clapped for your song, didn't he? Your singing was fucking awesome, there's no way he could've denied that. You just need some help with acting from a professional director. I know you'll get in. Maybe it'll just be a chorus part, or something really dumb and small. But you'll make it. I just know it, Eridan."

"If I don't, I'll fuckin' murder you," Eridan growl-sobbed. He buried his face in Sollux's neck again. "But I trust you."

"You'll make it, Eridan. I know a good performance when I see one," Sollux insisted. He squeezed Eridan in his arms.

_Please, please let him get a part._

* * *

><p>On the Friday following that crazy Tuesday afternoon, Eridan got his results.<p>

He scored the role of _Inspector Javert_, the main antagonist in _Les Misérables_.


	34. Chapter 34

**Sorry this was so late, I was pretty busy this week!**

**Also, with this chapter, I'd like to send a shoutout to Howard W. Blake High School of the Performing Arts. I heard from one of your classmates that there is a ton of people from that particular school reading OHAC. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the fanfiction! :)**

**And congratulations to the winners of the Sollux's Sexy Smolder contest. First place went to _spazzykat_, second place went to [User has asked to be kept anonymous], and third place went to _timeanddivision_. Thanks for participating, everyone!**

**Enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>[Chapter 34]<p>

On Christmas Eve, being the idiot college boy that he was, Sollux remembered that there were important people in his life for whom he had to get gifts for Christmas.

Well, fuck.

He was sitting with Eridan on stage in the theater at the moment he realized it, with about a fourth of the students who had made the cut for the cast of _Les Misérables_, the name of which Eridan had kindly shortened to just _Les Mis_. Everyone else was at home with their families, but for some reason, Scratch had decided to have a debriefing meeting for the musical. He claimed that it was 'because of the blizzards. We're crunching for time, here'.

"It is very wonderful to see you all here today," he said, clapping his hands together and looking around at the circle of cast members seated around him. "Thank you for showing up, even on such short notice. Your colleagues will be receiving a letter from me with the same information that I am about to share with you, however the experience will be less than extraordinary for them!"

Sollux let out a tiny groan and rolled his eyes. Eridan, who was sitting close enough to him that their knees touched, gently slapped his hand.

"You young people are… some of the _best_ of the best. Not a single one of you was casted without a reason. Some of you walked on stage for your audition, and I immediately knew what role you'd fit into," Doc Scratch continued, a small smile on his face. "I apologize for my rudeness that day. I seemed to have forgotten my manners at home! I really am an excellent director. Everyone must believe me. Your auditions were not only a test to see your talent, but also your ability to work under pressure! The reason you are here is because you, unlike the rest, remained _strong_ on the stage! You did not crack under pressure. And _that_-"

Scratch spun around dramatically, pointing to each and every student.

"-Is why you, my lovelies, are in this show."

Doc Scratch's pointing finger landed on Sollux's face.

"And who are you? I don't remember casting you."

"You didn't. I'm this guy's ride," Sollux said, jerking his head towards Eridan.

"Why aren't you sitting in the audience, dear boy?"

"Because I don't know? The lighting is interesting here or something. I like looking at all the technological stuff up in the flyspace. Do I need a reason?"

Eridan gave Sollux an incredulous, horrified look, his lips parted. However, Doc Scratch just looked him over, scratching his white-bearded chin.

"Your attitude is refreshingly… different. What is your name?"

"Sollux Captor," Sollux said, reaching up with one hand. Doc Scratch took it and gave it a firm shake.

"You mentioned something about the interesting lighting? Tell me, what is your experience with… technology?"

"I'm pretty damn good at it."

"Splendid. Surely your… friend… here, can persuade you to be our stage manager."

With that, Doc Scratch gave Sollux one more interested look, then turned and walked away. Eridan and Sollux were left with the stares of everyone in the cast. A couple of girls looked down at their touching knees, then looked to each other and grinned.

Terezi was one of those girls, and Sollux was instantly curious as to how much she knew.

"So…" Eridan trailed off, crossing his legs in Sollux's pickup as they drove home. They had gotten into the habit of just holding hands while Sollux drove. It was a simple form of contact, yet deep down it was a gentle reminder that they definitely had something between them. Deeper still, it was silent message of '_I'm here if you need me'_.

Sollux wasn't sure who needed who more than the other anymore.

"So?" Sollux echoed, glancing over at his passenger. Eridan rubbed the back of Sollux's hand with his thumb a little.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm excited for Christmas, is all," Eridan said, yet the inflection in his voice hinted that there was something he wasn't saying.

"Is that _really_ all?" Sollux asked, slowing down a bit on the back road that they were taking to avoid slipping on black ice.

"…I know what you're gettin' for Chriiiiistmas," Eridan sang in a teasing voice, glancing around before unbuckling his seatbelt and scooching to the middle seat. He let go of Sollux's hand, only to hook his arm in Sollux's and join hands again. He rested his head on Sollux's shoulder. "An' I'm not tellin' you what it is, so don't even ask."

"You got me a Christmas present?" Sollux asked. His heart began to sink. Already? Eridan had been much more on top of Christmas shopping than he had, apparently.

"Yeah. An' you'll never guess what it is."

"I better like it," Sollux warned. Eridan squeezed his arm.

"I hope so."

They enjoyed a comfortable silence. Sollux unconsciously slowed down to nearly twenty miles-per-hour below the speed limit. Later, he'd make the excuse that it was just because of the ice, but in reality, he _really_ enjoyed cruising down back roads at his own pace with an incredibly attractive man on his arm.

"Holy shit, Eridan. Get your seatbelt on. Do you see how icy these roads are?" Sollux finally said when they hit a bump and Eridan shifted in his seat a little. "If we go into a ditch or hit a tree or something and you go flying out the windshield, I'd never be able to forgive myself. Especially if I never got to see that present you bought me."

"It's okay," Eridan sighed. He nestled up against Sollux and shut his eyes. "I trust you."

Sollux pinched his lips together and quietly thanked the stars that Eridan wasn't looking, because his cheeks and ears burned in a strangely pleasant form of embarrassment.

* * *

><p>A half hour later, Sollux dropped Eridan off at the dorm, but didn't move to get out of the car. Just as Eridan was about to open the door, he looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Sol?"

"I gotta drop by the library and see if I can't check out a few text books. Might as well… might as well get started on that homework, right?"

"…One of your teachers gave you homework over Christmas break?"

"I know, right? It's for Poetry."

Eridan nodded.

"Oh. Alright. Well, I'll see you later for dinner, then?"

"Yeah. I'll pick up some stuff from the store too. I'll make chili."

"I fuckin' _love_ chili," Eridan purred. He leaned across the seat and pressed a long kiss to Sollux's cheek. Sollux turned his head to press a clumsy kiss to the side of Eridan's mouth.

"I'll see you later, babe," Sollux murmured, pecking Eridan's cheek one more time. Eridan reached down, squeezed his hand, and then smiled before pulling away and sliding back to his door. He exited the truck with one more fleeting smile cast over his shoulder. Sollux watched him as he hurried through the cold and into the front doors of the dormitory.

The second he was out of sight, Sollux leaned to the side and dug his wallet out of his back pocket. He tore it open and looked inside.

Nineteen fucking dollars. He only had nineteen dollars. Sollux punched himself in the thigh for breaking his twenty just to buy a Coke from a vending machine earlier that week.

Frustrated, Sollux rested his elbow on his door and scratched the stubble on his chin, racking his brain for answers. It was okay. He'd… he'd go to the dollar store or something. Buy him something sparkly and fabulous and shit, and he'd be happy.

Sollux banged his head on the steering wheel. What fucking store was going to be open on Christmas Eve at four thirty in the afternoon?

…Walmart. Sollux raised his head and covered his eyes with his hand. It'd have to do. But there was no way in hell that he was going to top whatever Eridan had gotten him. Shit, shit, _shit_.

Sollux shifted into reverse and pulled out of his parking space before roaring out of the parking lot. As he drove, he dug his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. He hastily searched his contacts, selected one, and set up a text message. He held his phone down low to avoid getting caught texting while driving.

_kanaya what'2 a good xma2 giift for a flamiing gay guy?_

…_I Believe That It Is Typically Customary For Someone To Shop For Another Person For Christmas Rather Than Shopping For Themselves_

_ii'm not talkiing about me oh my fuckiing god_

_ii'm talkiing about eriidan_

_Oh Yes. The Purple Haired Queen Of Campus Rose And I Have Been Referring To Him As. He Likes To Call For Advice On His Hair. Has It Been Exceptionally Fabulous Lately?_

_kanaya holy 2hiit help me_

_Oh Dear. You Are Indeed A Dumb Boy. Rose Says To Leave You Stranded But Thankfully I Am A Bit Kinder Than Her_

_She Just Smacked My Shoulder_

_You're Tearing This Family Apart Captor_

_kanaya!_

_I Don't Understand Your Reasoning Behind Coming To Us For Help. After All, You Know Eridan The Best. Also You're Gay He's Gay_

_Shouldn't You Homosexual Men Be On Similar Pages Or Something_

_wtf ii'm not gay ii'm bii_

_Rose Literally Just Fell Over Laughing_

_why what the hell_

_We Know You're Gay. Not That Anyone Told Us At All, But It's More Like_

_Oh I Don't Know_

_Let's Just Say Your Passion For Men Burns With The Heat Of A Thousand Homosexual Suns And We See You As A Beacon Of Pure Gay Energy_

_Also Rose Says It's Actually Pretty Cute That You Try To Hide It From Us_

Sollux's phone buzzed twice, signifying a new message thread opening. He opened the new text.

_We're lesbians, my love. We have a natural knack for these things. If it's any consolation, we don't ship you with Eridan or anything._

_She's Lying We Ship You Two So Much You Two Are Literally The Only Two We Sit Down And Discuss And Squeal About_

_Like Any Classy Lady Would Do_

_ii fuckiing hate you two_

_iif ii wa2n't driiviing ii'd be fliickiing you two off 2o much right now_

_al2o what the fuck ii2 2hiippiing_

_thii2 ii2 about yaoii ii2n't iit_

_ii'm goiing to fuckiing kiill you both oh my god_

_In all seriousness, we have no idea about the Christmas gift dilemma. As much as we'd like to assist, you really brought this whole situation upon yourself for waiting until the final second. If we knew what Eridan liked , I'm sure we could be of more assistance. However, the one with their tongue in his mouth is you and you alone._

_ugh fiine. wii2h me luck then_

_Text us with the results._

Sollux snapped his phone shut.

"Fuck."

* * *

><p>At Walmart, he thought about what to buy Eridan as he threw supplies to make chili into the cart. Luckily for him, Eridan had given him a credit card several weeks ago with which to buy groceries. It was punishment for eating all of his food all the time, so Eridan just gave up and let Sollux buy what he wanted.<p>

Unfortunately, Eridan had direct access to the card's account. He would see it if Sollux bought anything other than groceries. And Eridan simply could _not_ find out that Sollux hadn't bought him anything for Christmas yet.

Also… Sollux wanted it to be a surprise, even if the surprise was half-assed and completely last minute and oh _God_ he was such a fucking _idiot_.

The dreaded moment came when he finished shopping for supplies and he still had no idea what to get Eridan for Christmas. There weren't many things in his budget, much less things that Eridan would like. He'd love jewelry, Sollux knew, but jewelry was too expensive and… and…

It was a sign of commitment, for which Sollux wasn't sure he was ready. Wait, was he?

No. Fuck no. Jesus Christ they weren't even dating and Sollux had rings on his mind and fuck fuck _fuck_ Eridan would get suspicious and call him if he took any longer than an hour shopping.

Sollux tore at his hair in the middle of the freezer aisle and he got weird looks for it.

When he looked up, he looked down the aisle and halfway across the store. His eye caught on a huge blotch of orange.

Oranges. Tangerines. Peaches.

_Clementines_.

Thoughts churning, Sollux clenched his fists on the handle of the shopping cart and rushed over to the fruit section.

The clementines were all stacked up nice and neat in their little _Cutie_ brand crates, lovingly wrapped in their orange mesh bags. They were on sale, and Sollux inwardly cheered as he picked up one of the freshest looking crates. Very delicately, he set it in the toddler seat of his cart.

Okay, five bucks. He could afford that. Fourteen dollars left.

He was going to spend every last penny on Eridan, partially because of the guilt that he felt for being so lazy about the whole thing. The other half of him just wanted to buy shit for him.

Sollux wheeled the cart around the entire store two times before finally coming to a stop near the checkout lanes and bending over to rest his forehead on the handle of the cart.

"Shit," he whispered, closing his eyes in a weak attempt to get rid of his massive headache. Fuck the screaming kids, fuck the arguing couples, fuck the attendants following him and acting like he was going to steal something.

To cool himself down, he rested his head against the cool part of the handlebar and turned his head to the side.

That's when he saw it.

It was a large bin of mittens, hats, gloves, and other wintery accessories. Included in that pile was a plethora of colorful scarves.

Sollux brought his cart over to the bin and peered inside.

Resting right on top was a purple and blue striped scarf. It was made out of fleece, long, and nice and skinny. At each end were frills, which Sollux knew Eridan liked. Without a second thought, Sollux snatched it up. Hot damn. If that scarf didn't keep Eridan warm, Sollux didn't know what would.

But when he was about to throw it into the cart and get the hell out of there, he spotted another scarf. It was shorter than the one Sollux held, yet it was made out of the same material. It caught Sollux's attention because it was yellow with thick black stripes.

Hesitantly, Sollux reached out and grabbed that one, too. He compared it to the purple scarf, and was suddenly filled with a strange urge to get the yellow one.

Not because it was yellow and that was his favorite color. Not because it looked like his favorite animal (although he still held on to that weird, obsessive belief of his that bees were _not_ animals, courtesy of his mother). Rather, it was because he knew that it was a very low-key way of telling Eridan that Sollux was always there for him, was always wrapped tightly around him and…

Holy _shit_ he was looking way too deep into the whole thing. With a flourish, he threw the yellow scarf down and held the purple one close to his chest. Then, he just stood and stared blankly into the bin.

There was no denying it that Eridan knew about Sollux's affiliation with yellow. There was no denying it that the color was just as much of a representation of him as the color purple was a representation of Eridan. There was no denying it that they would both understand the possessive undertone to such a gift.

It was pretty fucking close to buying Eridan a ring.

…Fuck it.

Sollux looked away as he guiltily put the purple scarf down and grabbed the yellow scarf. Before he could change his mind, he rushed through the checkout lane and left without a single nickel to spare.

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Sollux looked over his shoulder as he set their empty chili bowls in the sink and ran the water to rinse them out. He caught the last seconds of Eridan sitting on the side of the couch and falling back so his legs hung over the armrest. He kicked up his heels and splayed his toes.<p>

"Oh my Cod, that was soooo good," Eridan groaned. Sollux smiled as he went to Eridan, not even bothering to pull down his rolled-up sweater sleeves as he went.

"I'm glad you liked it," Sollux said, coming around to the front of the couch and kneeling down beside Eridan's head.

"Thanks for cookin'," Eridan said. He looked up at Sollux for a second before reaching out and patting his cheek with a small _pap._ "An' shoppin'. Did you end up findin' those books you needed?"

"Uh… nah. It's fine, I'll do it later," Sollux lied. "I have time."

"Make sure you get that shit done," Eridan scolded, wagging his finger in Sollux's face. Sollux grabbed his wrist and kissed his fingertip. As Eridan continued to speak, Sollux tuned him out and just kissed his way up his finger and across the back of his hand. "Because I know what it's like to get behind in schoolwork. It really sucks… so… uh…"

Eridan's voice faded when Sollux kissed his wrist. He stayed there for a while, just kissing, as weeks of experience with kissing Eridan had taught him that the guy's wrists and ankles were, oddly, sensitive places on his body.

According to Eridan, it was apparently an Aquarius thing. Sollux just thought Eridan liked feeling worshipped.

His hand resting on Eridan's waist, Sollux leaned forward and kissed his lips for the first time in hours. It surprised him just how much he enjoyed it when their lips met. He squeezed Eridan's waist and laughed when Eridan's knees lifted from the armrest of the couch so he could wrap around Sollux a bit.

"You taste like really fucking salty chili," Sollux said. "How could you like that much salt?"

"Piss off. I don't have to explain my fine tastes to you."

"I think it's because you eat way too many treats and you need to balance that shit out. You have some of the sweetest, sugariest shit in the world in this dorm."

"You buy most of it."

"Because I know you like it, Eridan."

Eridan let his head fall back on the couch cushion as his hands moved to Sollux's shoulders. He smiled a tiny smile and Sollux quirked his lips right back at him.

"I love it when you smile at me like that," Eridan sighed. He pulled on Sollux until he was hovering over him on the couch. Eridan's knees squeezed his hips on either side.

"I thought you hated my smolder."

"I do. That's not a smolder. It's a half-smolder, an' it's a real _nice_ little half-smolder."

"Mm."

"What do you love about me?" Eridan asked after a short pause. Then he thought for a second. His cheeks turned a little pink. "I mean, like. What do you like about me?"

Sollux looked up and chewed the inside of his cheek in thought.

"I love it when you laugh so hard that you do that fucking snort-squeal thing."

Eridan scrunched up his face and scowled.

"That's not fuckin' nice."

"I love it though. It's fucking hilarious."

"You _love_ it?"

"Yeah," Sollux murmured. They scooched up a bit on the couch so Eridan could rest his head on a pillow. Sollux flopped down on top of Eridan, shutting his eyes as he laid his head down on his chest. Eridan's heart beat against his ears through the soft material of his turtleneck, and Sollux found a strange comfort in that.

"What a dumb thing to love about someone," Eridan grumbled, but he sounded happy all the same.

"Don't you think it's better for me to love your flaws rather than hate them?"

"Yeah, well…"

"Here, let me boost your ego even more," Sollux said, raising his head and propping it up on his folded arms. Eridan looked down at him. "I love your singing voice, your acting, and I love that you work hard."

Eridan turned bright red and slapped his hands over his face.

"You're embarrassin' me on purpose," Eridan mumbled through his hands.

"I'm telling you what I love about you."

"I get it. I'm fuckin' awesome an' you can't get enough of me. I get it, so stop fuckin' talkin' about it. Cod."

"Your accent turns me on," Sollux purred.

"Oh my Cod, _quit it!_"

"…And you're so fucking cute."

"_You're_ cute!" Eridan snapped. "An' when you sit down an' code stupid shit for hours I get kinda jealous, but it's never for long because when I ask for attention, you close your laptop right away to listen to me, an' I think you're so sweet an' kind, an' you have weird mood swings all the time but I don't mind because you're cute even when you're angry, an' you have a really annoyin' hyena laugh when you laugh really fuckin' hard, but I love that about you, too."

By that time both men (boys) were blushing so hard that they looked like a pair of overripe tomatoes. Sollux buried his head in his arms and took a deep breath, listening to Eridan's heart pounding up against his forearms.

"Your face gets so fuckin' red," Eridan whispered. Sollux felt his fingers combing through his hair. "That's really cute, too."

"…Shut your damn mouth," Sollux muttered. Eridan hugged his head tightly to his chest.

"No."

The combination of their cozy position on the couch and their full bellies made their eyelids very, very heavy. Before either of them could suggest relocating to the bed, they passed out while completely wrapped up in each other.

* * *

><p>When Sollux woke up again, his head was being lightly smacked.<p>

"…Sol. Sol, wake up. It's three in the mornin'. We fell asleep."

"Wha…?"

"C'mon. Let's go to bed. Our backs are goin' to feel like shit if we don't."

"Dun' make me fuckin' move," Sollux slurred. "Five mo' minutes."

"Sol, seriously. Bed. Get up."

"Eridaaaan," Sollux whined.

"…Cod fuckin' dammit."

Sollux vaguely felt Eridan shift underneath him before sitting up and bending Sollux backward into a weird position. However, he was lifted a second later. He unconsciously clung to Eridan like a child as he was carried towards the bedroom, his legs wrapping tightly around his waist. He murmured incoherently into Eridan's ear as they went, something about liking him and wanting to sleep with him and kiss him. Eridan's reaction was nothing but an affectionate rub of his back.

When Eridan sat him down on the bed, Sollux dazedly lifted his arms and allowed Eridan to strip him down to his boxers.

"Cod you're so useless," Eridan said under his breath. Sollux only smiled a little as he flopped backwards.

"Is it Christmaaaaas?" Sollux yawned, sprawling across the bed. He felt his glasses being carefully lifted from his face.

"Yeah. It's Christmas."

"…Murry Gristmush…"

"Merry Christmas to you too… darlin'."

The word sounded awkward coming from Eridan's mouth, but Sollux was much too tired to care.

"C'mon Sol, get under the blankets," Eridan instructed gently. Sollux felt a light pull on his arm and, before he knew it, warm blankets were draped across his body. It was almost uncomfortable, until Eridan's freezing body pressed up against his side. Sollux's eyebrows furrowed.

"Y'cold?"

"Just a little."

Eridan brought his legs up and gripped at Sollux's thighs with his icy toes. Sollux winced a little and let out a tired chuckle.

"C'mere," he mumbled. He rolled onto his side and slipped his arm under Eridan's head for him to use as a pillow. His other arm went around his waist and roped him in close. He buried his face in Eridan's hair, secretly enjoying the smell of his hair product.

Eridan's legs were entangled in his in a second for warmth.

They drifted off to sleep once more.

* * *

><p>When Sollux woke up again, it wasn't because of the sun. No, it was because he felt soft fingers caressing his face and the light scratch of jewelry and fingernails. When he opened his eyes, he saw Eridan looking back at him. His hand was stroking Sollux's cheek, the backs of his fingers slowly trailing up his face until he got to his hair line, where he turned his hand to run the pads of his fingers through his hair.<p>

"It's Christmas," Eridan said in a groggy voice. Sollux just blinked before letting out a huge yawn.

"I'm hungry," he mumbled, reaching up to rub his eye with the arm that wasn't trapped under Eridan's head. Eridan just laughed.

"Can we open presents first?"

"Oh man, presents," Sollux said. "Hell yeah."

"Do you like Christmas, Sol?"

"Christmas? Yeah. My uncle always found a way to scrape enough money together to get me a few things. It's also the one day of the year that he doesn't do anything except be part of my family, you know?"

Sollux rolled onto his back and Eridan followed, laying his head on his chest. Sollux's arm remained under Eridan's head, and he lightly scratched Eridan's back.

"Even though…?"

"I actually liked spending the holidays with my uncle, to be perfectly honest. I know it's weird."

"That's good. I was afraid you didn't like Christmas or somethin'."

"What's there to hate about getting free shit?"

Eridan laughed and sat up, bracing himself with a palm on the center of Sollux's chest. He just smiled down at him for a second, and Sollux smirked right back up at him.

"C'mon," he said, slipping out of bed. He went to the nightstand and passed Sollux's glasses to him before reaching out and grabbing onto Sollux's hand. "You have no idea how fuckin' excited I am to show you my gift."

"…I'm really excited to show you mine, too," Sollux lied, the nervousness in his heart not showing in the tone of his voice. Eridan perked up as he tugged Sollux out of bed.

"You got me somethin'?"

"Of course, Eridan."

Eridan was practically vibrating with excitement at that point, and he rushed Sollux out of the bedroom. Sollux, however, stopped him at the door.

"Hold on, buddy. Let me get some clothes on first."

Eridan hopped on the balls of his feet in the doorway, watching as Sollux ducked into the guest room and gathered a bundle of clothes from his freshly-stocked dresser.

"You're wearin' pajamas, right?" Eridan questioned the second he saw jeans come into view. Sollux froze.

"Why would I get pajamas on if I…?"

"Sol, you can't celebrate Christmas fuckin' _mornin'_ without pajamas."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"This is my dorm, so my rules."

Sollux grumbled as he put his jeans back and dug out his drawstring sweatpants. However, he couldn't help but to smile when he caught Eridan shyly peeking at him from behind the doorframe of the guest bedroom.

Once Sollux was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, he followed a very excited Eridan to the living room. Unsurprisingly, it was still dark outside, and the only light that was provided was the glow of their Christmas tree.

"I love Christmas mornin'," Eridan said, padding to the armchair next to one of his big bookshelves. "No peekin'."

Sollux heard a lot of rummaging as he went to the couch and flopped down on it. He spotted his phone on the coffee table and leaned forward to retrieve it. He flipped it open and grimaced at the time.

"Six-thirty? _Really_?"

"Fef used to wake me up at, like, five, so quit complainin'. If you're so damn tired, do you want me to make coffee?"

Sollux looked over to see Eridan walking back with a medium-sized gift wrapped neatly in Christmas-themed wrapping paper. Sollux inwardly cringed. He hadn't been able to afford wrapping paper and had just left his 'presents' in a grocery bag hidden in one of the kitchen cupboards.

"Actually, Eridan, I'll do it."

"You're the guest, though…" Eridan trailed off as he got to the couch just as Sollux stood. Sollux only leaned over to peck Eridan's forehead.

"…I have to get my present to you, too."

Eridan perked up again and flopped right down onto the couch, bouncing a little as he held Sollux's gift in his lap. Sollux went to the kitchenette, well aware that Eridan's eyes were trained firmly on his back. There, he purposefully prepared coffee for them as slow as possible, earning a loud whine.

"Sol, holy shit. I want Christmas _now_."

Sollux only laughed, finished the job, then poured two cups of coffee. He prepared Eridan's exactly the way he liked it: a dash of French vanilla creamer, a pinch of sugar, and a teaspoon of fresh '_fancy'_ honey.

Rich people.

Sollux had his coffee black, but couldn't help but to steal a drop or two of that expensive creamer himself. He brought the coffee cups back to the couch and handed Eridan his, but the guy was so giddy that he could hardly hold on to it.

Eridan's energy only doubled when Sollux set his mug down and went back to the kitchen to search for his gift. He retrieved it from the back of the cupboard and, with somewhat of a sheepish look on his face, turned around with it. Eridan looked a bit perplexed by the Walmart shopping bag.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't afford wrapping paper and this… this is really embarrassing, actually," Sollux explained as he made his way back to the couch. Too humiliated to look Eridan in the eye, he busied himself with pulling at a loose tab of plastic on the shopping bag. "You can't see it, though… I got two bags so I could cover it up a bit."

Sollux observed his work and kind of defensively held it tightly in his lap, his cheeks growing hotter by the second. Eridan's pampered fingertips tapped against his fancily-wrapped gift.

"Man, I'm so sorry. I feel like such an asshole, I-"

"You really bought somethin' for me," Eridan murmured. Sollux looked up to see that Eridan was smiling down at his hands, also unable to look at Sollux in the eye. "Not because you're family an' you have to, an' not because you're rich… I thought you were makin' fun of me."

"Eridan…" Sollux trailed off as Eridan reached up and brushed the back of his knuckles over his eyes a couple times.

"Um…" he said, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. "Thank you so much. For carin'. I can't believe it."

Sollux frowned as Eridan pointed his nose at the ceiling and just smiled tearfully, shutting his eyes.

"I've never gotten a Christmas present from a friend before. _An'_ someone who likes me."

"…Feferi didn't…?"

"She felt obligated to because I always showered her in gifts. But this year I only had to buy one, an' I told you so last minute, an' you didn't get me a gift because you know I got you one, you got me a gift because you care about me, an' I-"

Tears were running openly down his face now, and he sniffled loudly as he covered his eyes with his wrist.

"C-Cod, I bet I look like an _idiot_."

"Actually, Eridan, I got these things yesterday," Sollux said softly. Eridan looked up and Sollux quickly continued. "But not because _you_ got me something. I mean it when I say I was planning to get you something since… well, a while ago. I was just stupid and I procrastinated and ended up rushing. And you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

Eridan hiccupped and burst into even more tears, taking deep, gasping breaths. Sollux watched in kind silence as fat, salty drops of water plopped onto the shiny red wrapping paper on Eridan's Christmas gift.

"You're really not teasin' me," Eridan wept. "Someone actually f-fuckin' cares for once."

"Eridan, I hope that present is waterproof. You're drowning it," Sollux joked lightly to help ease Eridan's near-sobs. Eridan choked out a laugh and shoved the present towards Sollux.

"Open it, Cod damn you!"

Sollux set his gift down on the floor next to his feet, then brought Eridan's tear-soaked gift into his lap. He carefully unwrapped it and Eridan watched him closely, still sniffling and giggling between little hiccups.

Sollux tore the paper away to reveal a brand new, _very_ expensive, Alienware gaming laptop. Sollux sucked in a huge breath and nearly passed out. This particular computer was_ over a thousand dollars online. _

"Eridan, I-" Sollux spluttered, trying to move the laptop away from him. He looked up at Eridan with panicked eyes. "I can't possibly… this is… this is _way_ too much, man, I can't accept this… I mean…"

"You don't like it?" Eridan asked, eyebrows creasing a little. "But why…? You love gamin', an' you were talkin' about how your laptop is so shitty…"

Sollux's eyes softened and he stopped trying to push the box into Eridan's hands.

"You didn't have to spend _that_ much fucking money on me, you rich asshole."

"_Rude_."

"Sorry. But this is just… so generous, what the hell?"

"I got it partially because you have to let me use it, too," Eridan chortled, blushing a bit as he leaned forward and put his hand on the box. "I want to play games on this, too."

"If you're so fucking rich, why didn't you get one yourself?"

"Because I wanna give you a reason to get off the computer every once an' a while. I'll put a fuckin' bullet through it if you don't let me play games on it, too."

Sollux pondered that for a moment, blinking in confusion. When he got it, he threw his head back and laughed.

"Eridan, you're such an ass," he snorted. Eridan smiled triumphantly as Sollux gave up and leaned forward to gingerly set his new laptop down on the coffee table.

"Pretty fuckin' smart for a rich, pompous jerkwad, huh?"

"Yeah. You're smart."

"Now I want to open my present!"

Sollux sobered up and laughed a bit nervously, looking down at the pitiful present on the floor beside his foot.

"Listen, Eridan," he began, bending over to retrieve the plastic bag. "It's… it's nowhere near as fancy or expensive as your gift. It's really kind of pathetic, so don't get your hopes up."

Eridan scowled as Sollux held the bag away from him.

"Give me it!" he demanded. He grabbed Sollux's arm and dragged it down so he could snatch the bag out of his hand. Sollux watched with dread as Eridan eagerly tore into the bags and looked inside.

The scarf came out first. Sollux watched Eridan closely and gauged his reaction to the color and pattern of the scarf. He could tell that Eridan's gears were already turning. He studied the scarf before he finally threw it over his head and wrapped it snugly around his neck.

"I fuckin' love it," Eridan cooed, burying his nose in the fleece material. "It's so warm."

"I noticed some of your scarves were getting pretty worn out," Sollux said, losing control of his lips as he smiled a bit too widely. "I thought you could use a new one."

"What a nice change in color," Eridan commented lowly. Central heterochromatic brown and blue met just plain gorgeous grey and blue, and something lovely and warm happened there. They flicked their eyes away a moment later, smiling mutedly to themselves.

Then, Eridan cleared his throat. The plastic bag rustled and Sollux faced him again. Eridan pulled out the crate of clementines and instantly burst into laughter. Sollux blushed a bit and scratched his arm.

"Yeah… sorry… last minute decision."

"No, no, this is perfect!" Eridan chirped. "Because you actually gave enough of a fuck about me to pick out things that I like!"

He was sounding tearful again, even though there was a huge smile on his face. Sollux just rolled his eyes and let out a mock-exasperated sigh through his nose.

"Don't start crying again."

Eridan practically threw the crate of clementines onto the coffee table and lurched forward. He threw his arms around Sollux's neck, and both of them toppled over on the couch.

"I love you," Eridan breathed so quietly that Sollux wasn't sure he actually heard it.

He almost literally felt his heart collapse into itself at the sound of those words, and he found himself unable to breathe properly. Eridan stiffened in his arms, as if he realized what he had just said.

"I'm sorry, I was getting' ahead of myself an' I-" he stammered, his voice already quivering.

"Will you go out with me?" Sollux asked into Eridan's hair, the question almost casual in the way that it was delivered. Eridan went absolutely silent and his stuttering came to a complete halt. They sat in absolute silence for a while. Sollux was in awe that his heart was throbbing so hard against his sternum, the intensity of its beating identical to Eridan's own hammering heart, which Sollux could feel through both of their pajama shirts.

It was a long time until Eridan's voice came back. It was surprisingly calm and collected, nothing like the rapid, erratic pounding against their ribcages.

"Yeah, I'll go out with you."

It was funny, the power a simple Christmas orange had on a person's heart.

* * *

><p><strong>END OF ACT ONE<strong>


	35. Chapter 35:  Act 1 Intermission

[Chapter 35 - Act 1 Intermission]

**JANUARY**

"Happy New Year!"

Sollux winced as the cork of the champagne bottle popped off and fizz poured into the sink. From behind him, Eridan's thin arms wrapped around his middle.

"Okay, who wants some of this shit?" Sollux asked. From Eridan's living room, both Rose and Kanaya let out small cheers. Sollux turned with a few glasses in his hand, and together he and Eridan waddled into the living area.

"Aren't you two just the most _darling_ things?" Rose cooed, pretending to let out a dreamy sigh as Sollux set down the glasses and poured champagne for his friends.

"Ha, ha, you're hilarious," Sollux said sarcastically.

"I don't believe she was joking around, Sollux," Kanaya said. "In fact, if I dare say so myself, I believe she was only pointing out the fact that you two are most definitely the most adorable-"

Rose put a hand on Kanaya's thigh, and Kanaya shut her mouth. Rose smiled at her, and Kanaya gave her a sheepish grin back.

"We try," Sollux sighed, wriggling out of Eridan's hold and flopping down into an armchair. Eridan followed closely, perching neatly on his lap before snuggling him and showering the side of his head in kisses.

"A toast," Rose laughed, raising her glass. "To the happy couple."

**FEBRUARY**

_Bang._

"Sol? Sol! Sol, what are you doin'? Where are we gommmphmmnnmmmphm-"

The muted thud of two entangled bodies hitting the couch cushions.

"I can't see a fuckin' thing! Sol, what are you even-"

Buttons popping. The sound of a zipper being hastily unzipped. The rustling of clothing and skinny jeans being roughly pulled down.

"Holy shit, Sol, I-"

His voice broke off into a whimper as a hot tongue ran up the length of his shaft. What was flaccid only a moment before began to stiffen in arousal, and jewelry-clad fingers tangled in a mop of mahogany hair.

"Oh Cod, I- oh my Cod, ohhhhh _Cod!_"

He was taken in easily by experienced lips, and with each bob of the head, his whimpers and moans grew steadily louder and louder. He spread his legs as far as he could within the limits of his jeans, frantically trying to thrust more of himself inside.

A firm hand on his hips held him down, and within moments, he was screaming and desperately covering his mouth with his wrists. He didn't seem to know what to hold onto: the pillow, the armrest, the back of the couch, his boyfriend's hair, his own hair. All he could do coherently was pant the words '_more'_ and '_please'_ and '_don't stop'_ over and over and over until even _that_ was incoherent.

And when he came, his voice was only his lover's name, over and over. His shrill cries went on and on until he was milked of everything he had, and when he was finally finished, he melted into the couch.

_Clap, clap._

As the lights came up, Sollux raised himself from his position bent over Eridan's lower body. He made a great deal out of swallowing everything in his mouth with a little massage of his throat to help it slide down. Eridan gaped up at him as he licked the excess off of his lips.

"Holy… fuckin'… _shit_," he breathed. Sollux stood and proudly observed his work. Eridan was a complete mess on the couch, his legs spread, his softening dick wet and still flushed red on his stomach, and his hair a disaster. His cheeks were bright pink, his eyes were shining, and his body was still quivering in excitement.

"Happy birthday, baby," Sollux whispered.

**MARCH**

"Please, Sol? Pleeeeease?"

They were sitting on the couch, Sollux with his laptop and Eridan with the script to _Les Mis _in his lap_._

"Eridan, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm over the whole 'being the go-to guy for the tech crew'. I'm not interested."

"It's not the tech crew, Sol… it's just stage manager."

"Babe," Sollux said in a stern voice, shutting the lid to his laptop for a moment. "I want to be able to watch you perform. From the audience. Not from backstage."

"I'll ask the Doc about givin' you one free night to watch the show," Eridan said, pouting his lip. "Please?"

Sollux set his laptop down on the coffee table and sighed, leaning back to roll his eyes.

"Eridan, seriously. I'm so _over_ doing 'behind the scenes' work for plays and shit. It's stupid."

"Please, Sol?"

Sollux was about to tell Eridan off, but when he looked over, Eridan had let his script fall to the floor. He was crawling across the couch towards him, his eyes set to full puppy dog (murder) mode.

"Please?" he whispered once he was up close. His hand rested on Sollux's knee and began to rub. "For me, Sol?"

Sollux squinted at Eridan, trying to ignore his hand as it crept further and further up his thigh.

"I'll do anythin' you want," Eridan murmured into his ear before pressing a tiny kiss to the lobe. His hand cupped Sollux's groin, making him jump and wince. "…Absolutely anythin'."

Sollux wasn't sure how to react when Eridan straddled his lap and swayed his hips.

Oh wait, _that_ was a reaction. How did his hands get to Eridan's ass cheeks? Hell if he knew.

"Mmm," Eridan hummed, pushing back against Sollux's hands. Sollux kind of… dazedly squeezed, his mind too focused on the way Eridan was moving and blushing and biting his bottom lip to really be distracted by anything else. Then, Eridan cupped Sollux's neck in his hands and brought his lips in close. "C'mon, Sol. _Please_ help with the play."

"But I…" Sollux croaked, shaking with anticipation as he strained his lips to touch Eridan's. Eridan, however, pulled away with a huff.

"You're goin' to make this difficult, aren't you?" Eridan grumbled, sliding down Sollux's knees and kneeling on the floor at his feet.

"Listen Eridan, I-"

Sollux's voice cut off with a choked noise as Eridan forced himself between his legs and began fumbling and fussing with his belt buckle.

"Holy fuck, what the hell are you even _doing?_" Sollux hissed, even though he was already well aware of Eridan's intentions. He was actually pretty okay with that.

Eridan didn't answer his question anyway, and instead he worked with Sollux's pants and boxers to pull them down just enough for his half-hard erection to come springing out of its cloth confinement. Eridan's cool hand was on it in a second, slowly pumping and stroking as he moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue.

"You should really reconsider helpin' out with the play, Sol," Eridan clucked, shaking his head as he pursed his lips. "The cast is real cool. I'm sure they'd _love_ to meet you."

Sollux gnawed on his lower lip and rotated his hips ever so slightly to urge Eridan's hand along. By then, he was so hard he was turning a tad blue in a few… uncomfortable places. Eridan sure knew how to tease him, the little bastard. He knew for a fact that Sollux lost all control when a certain _somethin'-somethin_' was fiddled with (and by that he meant, quite simply, his fucking _balls_), yet he was steering clear away from that area.

"Eridan," he snarled, reaching out and grabbing Eridan's hair. He forced Eridan's head back. "I'm going to fucking _kill_ you."

"Oooh, _baby_," Eridan mock-moaned. He sneered up at Sollux's face. "I _love_ it when you play rough."

"_Shiiit_," Sollux whimpered, his fingers untangling themselves. He gently smoothed Eridan's hair back. "Fine. I'll help. Just… _please_…"

Eridan wordlessly lowered his head and, lifting Sollux's dick, licked the underside of him and trailed his tongue down to much more _sensitive_ spots. Sollux was instantly writhing on the couch, his nails digging into the cushions as he fought to keep his moaning in control.

When Eridan was finished making a mess out of that area, his kissed his way back up to the tip and took just the head into his mouth. He kissed and licked and twirled and flicked, making Sollux's eyelids flutter and his head fall back to rest on the back of the couch.

But when Eridan lowered his head to take more inside, there was a scrape and Sollux jumped and hissed. His hand flew to Eridan's head and grabbed his hair.

"_Teeth_, Eridan."

"Sorry," Eridan mumbled, eyebrows knitting as he concentrated.

Panting a little, Sollux lolled his head back down and watched Eridan explore. His lack of skill signified that he hadn't done this… _ever_. Yet there he was, sitting back on his ankles, soft hands not so sure what to touch, trying to find a good rhythm _just for Sollux._

Sollux's hand went back to his hair, stroking it back and keeping it out of his face. Eridan's eyes opened and he looked up into Sollux's eyes, his own watering with the strain to keep from choking.

"Babe, you don't have to… all the way," Sollux rasped, his other hand reaching down to support Eridan's throat. He gently nudged his head back a little and helped him tilt his head into a better angle. "Th-There… _shit_."

Eyes darkening, Sollux kept his hand on Eridan's throat, feeling himself fill his mouth and exit again over and over. With every passing second, Eridan's own grunts and unintelligible mumblings and hums grew louder. At one point, he tore himself away to gasp for breath, but his lips and tongue and stroking hand were back on Sollux in a moment. The whining and moaning he was doing was driving Sollux straight up a wall, through the roof, and into the atmosphere, and Eridan knew it.

"I'm going to cum," Sollux finally whispered under his breath, partially as warning and partially to stop himself from letting out a really embarrassing noise. Eridan eagerly brought Sollux back into his mouth, sucking hard and clumsily. Sollux fought not to buck his hips and suffocate his boyfriend, so he just threw his head back and let out the most inhuman sounds known to man: high pitched keening sounds, whimpering, spluttered cries for release.

When he came, his nails were digging into the couch cushions and practically tearing them open, and his toes were curling so hard against the floor that he thought the carpet would rip.

Eridan had struggles of his own to deal with. He paced himself with the surprising amount of well… _jizz_ filling his mouth, yet even then he squeezed his eyes shut and jerked his head back in surprise.

When Sollux was finished, Eridan pulled away and looked down, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Eridan…" Sollux said softly, reaching down to stroke Eridan's hair. "You don't have to swa-"

Eridan stiffened and gulped loudly, and Sollux blinked in mild admiration down at him. Impressive, for someone's first time.

"Oh _Jesus_," Eridan breathed, resting his head on Sollux's inner thigh. He let out a great shiver and coughed a bit. "You make it look easy when you do it."

"You didn't have to _swallow_ it!" Sollux exclaimed.

"You could've told me that sooner, _Cod!_ I was wonderin' if it, like, tasted good or somethin', because you're always goin' around swallowin' mine like it ain't no big deal, you fuckin' _douche!_"

"Dude, it depends-" Sollux began. He stopped himself. "…Babe, we're getting into an argument about my spunk."

Eridan looked up at Sollux before they both burst into giggles over their own stupidity.

"Get up here," Sollux purred. Eridan smiled and stood to sit himself down on Sollux's lap. He immediately noticed that Eridan's pants were unbuttoned and unzipped, and his briefs had been lazily pushed down. Sollux grinned as he reached up and pulled Eridan's pants down. "Mm, getting a little excited? And while giving me a blowjob? _Naughty_."

Eridan let out a low chuckle and moved his hips as Sollux returned the favor. His hand was slow and steady, yet squeezed just enough to begin to make Eridan moan and buck his hips.

"Kiss me," Sollux murmured, angling his head up towards Eridan. Eridan only grimaced down at him.

"But I just-"

"I don't care, kiss me."

Eridan cautiously lowered his head to press a tentative kiss to Sollux's lips, but Sollux quickly and sloppily thrust his tongue into his mouth and whined at the taste of himself mixed with Eridan.

"Holy shit," Eridan hissed as he pulled away. "You seriously like that?"

"I _love_ it," Sollux corrected, licking his lips. Eridan gave him a look, and when Sollux realized what it was about, his face became dark. "It's _not_ because of my uncle, Eridan."

"Sol, come on. I wasn't tryin' to offend you."

"Well, it's _not_ because of him. Seriously. I actually… well, all you need to know is that I started liking it when I did it to my first boyfriend. I like it because I like it, not because anyone forced me t-"

Eridan cut Sollux off with another kiss on the lips.

"Shut up. I get it. I trust you, okay?"

"…Okay…"

They got right back to kissing.

**APRIL**

April 13 was the opening night of _Les Misérables_. They had a full house, courtesy of one of the cast members, who apparently had their entire high school attending on some sort of field trip? Sollux didn't fucking know. There was just a shit ton of people.

Eridan was nervous as all hell, and Sollux could tell. He watched Eridan anxiously from backstage, where he was wearing all black with his stage manager headset draped around his neck. He had to ignore the rest of the stage crew while Eridan was singing, just to make sure he was alright.

Which he was, unsurprisingly. He delivered his performance flawlessly, even though Sollux could see that the vein in his neck was throbbing with his rapidly beating heart. His voice rang loud and clear, and not once did his body mic have an issue with the sound booth.

Even better, he didn't overact. He just did what he did best, and that was sing and act and dance and just wow the crowd. He really outdid himself on that stage, and Sollux could barely suppress the urge to explode into cheers and whistles when Eridan hit his high notes or nailed a facial expression or delivered a gesture perfectly. No, all he could do was give Eridan golf claps from back stage, tiny pats on his palm with three fingers.

But really, he desperately wanted to flail around slamming his hands together like some sort of demented mutant seal, but holy shit Doc Scratch would _have his head._

When Eridan's big finale came up, his big suicide scene, Sollux was jittery with nerves. Eridan's character, Inspector Javert (Sollux actually watched the rehearsals, so of course he knew the story like the back of his hand), felt like he had lost all control. His prisoner, Jean Valjean, about whom Javert had sung a whole God damn solo, had escaped. His citizens: rebelled. The respect for him: lost. His hope: zero.

So he decided to kill himself by jumping off a bridge. While simultaneously singing the final note of his song and fading into nothing. Added onto that, Javert (Eridan) (PHWQ) (_Sollux's_ PHWQ) (His Goddamn _boyfriend_) had to fall back off of their fifteen-foot-tall set piece, the giant painted 'stone' bridge they had constructed out of a bunch of wood. Resting behind the set piece was a singular mattress and six strong crew members to help catch Eridan.

Sollux, of course, was one of them. Sollux, of course, was in charge of setting the mattress in the right place and making sure the crew members were ready for the big catch. Sollux, of course, was the only one absolutely flipping his shit. They had practiced this so many times in rehearsal, obviously, but Sollux was terrified that _something_ would go wrong.

He was so busy fretting and worrying that he forgot to listen to the entire song, and the great fall came up quicker than he thought. He heard a giant gasp of the audience, then the rushing of air, then the _splash_ing sound of the digitally created sound effects.

And then something heavy dropped into six pairs of awaiting arms. Sollux looked down and Eridan was there, safe and sound and just a tad sweaty and scared-looking but _safe_.

Everyone gently lowered Eridan onto the mattress, where he silently caught his breath. The backstage crew waited for the lights to go out before they began wheeling the set piece offstage. Meanwhile, Sollux stuck around to help Eridan off the mattress, then together they dragged it off.

Backstage, while no one was looking, they rushed off behind one of leg curtains and hid in the darkness, where they made out for a solid ten minutes.

Sollux accidentally missed his cue to bring another set piece on, but a cast member managed to get it on in time. Later, Doc Scratch basically ripped him a new asshole over it, but Sollux didn't care because Eridan was amazing and perfect and Sollux simply could not get over how much he was beginning to adore him.

Eridan had six more wonderfully successful shows, and during the bows for each one, he got even more cheers and whoops and hollers than the main characters.

**MAY**

"Why didn't you fucking _tell_ me that they were still harassing you?"

Bursting into the dorm, Sollux practically threw Eridan into the room by his arm, then slammed the door behind him. Distraught, Eridan smoothed his disheveled shirt and hair.

"It's not a big _deal_, Sol. It's just a fuckin' scratch!"

"Not a big deal? _Not a big deal?_ Do you think what they're doing to you is some kind of _joke_, Eridan? Do you fucking _like_ it?" Sollux yelled, pointing wildly at the door as he got so close to Eridan's face that their noses were almost touching.

"Of course I don't fuckin' _like_ it!" Eridan shouted right back. "I nev-ver fuckin' _said_ I fuckin' liked it, did I? They're fuckin' bullies, Sol, prov-vokin' them w-will just make things _w-worse!_"

"Worse than getting your fucking money stolen, Eridan? Is that what you _fucking_ want?"

Sollux grabbed Eridan's arm and pulled on it, making his sleeve slide up and revealing a bunch of bruises where he had been hit by the bullies. Eridan wrenched his arm away and stumbled backwards.

"Don't fuckin' _grab_ me like that!" he roared, spinning away and stomping towards his room. "Get out! Get out an' _nev-ver_ fuckin' come back here!"

"Don't you fucking walk away from me," Sollux snarled, marching after him. His hand shot out and grabbed Eridan's wrist again. He forcefully whirled him around and grabbed his other wrist with his other hand.

"Let go of me! Get your _fuckin'_ hands off of me!"

"_No!_"

"It's ov-ver! Get out! I fuckin' _hate_ you!"

"Eridan_, stop!_"

"_I nev-ver w-want to see you again!_"

_Smack._

Sollux slapped him across the face. Not too hard, granted, because Eridan was thrashing around like a fucking fish out of water. But then he froze and reached up to brush his fingers over his reddening cheek.

Then he reeled back and fucking _punched_ Sollux so hard in the face that he nearly flew backwards into a God damn wall, but this wasn't some fucking anime fight.

No, Eridan grabbed him by the collar, spun him around, and slammed him into the closed door of his bedroom.

"Don't. Fuckin'. Hit. Me. _Ev-ver!_" he hissed viciously through gritted teeth. Sollux held his mouth, feeling like utter shit, trying not to cry, and _there_ oh fuck he was fucking crying.

Eridan's face softened ever so slightly as Sollux hiccupped and slumped against the door. Together, they sank down to the floor and just sat there with Sollux propped up against the door and Eridan kneeling between his legs.

"Sol? Sol, I didn't…" Eridan trailed off as Sollux hid his crying face in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to hit you that hard."

He gently wrapped his fingers around Sollux's wrists.

"C'mon, baby, let me see. Oh Cod, did I break somethin'?"

"Why can you punch _me_ in the fathe, but you can't punch the fucking people who fucking _harathh_ you and thteal your money?" Sollux sobbed when Eridan pried his hands away from his face.

"…I… I don't know-w."

"I'm fucking _worried_ about you, Eridan!"

"I'm sorry," Eridan whimpered, and then he was crying, too. He leaned forward and took Sollux's face in his hands, bumping their foreheads together. "I'm so, so, _so_ sorry, Sol. Please forgiv-ve me."

They just sat by the door for a while, wrapped up in each other's arms and crying together. It had been a particularly stressful week for both of them, what with final exams and bullies and unwanted calls and texts from a terrible uncle. They had been bickering all week, and that was their breaking point. But now all they could do was just bawl on the floor like a couple of kids who had gotten into a fight in the sandbox.

"I feel tho _worthlethh_," Sollux began once they had calmed down enough that they could form understandable sentences.

"Uh-huh," Eridan sniffled. He stroked Sollux's face and brushed away his tears.

"You've done everything for me and I can't even defend you from thome thtupid athholeth. You're tho thtrong and I'm tho weak, Eridan, and I can't do anything about thothe bullieth, and it jutht maketh me tho fucking angry thometimeth that I lathsh out at you."

"Uh-_hic_-huh…"

"…And I jutht feel like I don't give you anything at all in thith relationth…th…ship, but you give me tho much… a plathe to thtay, a plathe to thleep, money, giftth, and all I can give you ith… ith thith _fucking_ emotional baggage all the time, and…"

"Shh-hhh," Eridan hushed, still crying and sniveling and blubbering just as much as Sollux. "It's okay, it's all okay. I'm sorry. This is my fault too. I'll talk to someone about the bullies. I don't know-w w-who, but I'll try, okay? An' I don't giv-ve a fuck about your emotional baggage. If I did, I w-wouldn't'a liked you in the first place, I w-wouldn't be your boyfriend. You w-wouldn't be so important to me."

Eridan lifted Sollux's left hand and kissed his bare wrist, where his once-scarred skin had been untouched for months. White lines and blotches were still there where scar tissue had formed. Maybe an itty bitty scab or two remained.

"I'm happy I got to be the one to stop you from doin' this to yourself. I know-w… back then, I know-w I said things that you probably didn't w-want to hear. But sometimes the things you don't w-want to hear are the exact fuckin' things you _need_ to hear. An' I know-w that isn't w-what _ev_-_veryone_ needs to hear, but you're so much like me, an' that's w-what helped me, so I told you w-what I-I needed to hear. I'm so happy I got to tell you those things, Sol. I'm happy I could giv-ve you hope. I'm happy bein' w-with you. Nothin' has made me so happy before. You'v-ve giv-ven me so much more than you think. You'v-ve made me feel so treasured an' you actually giv-ve a shit about me an' my feelin's, an' I like to think that I'm important to you-"

"You _are_ important to me," Sollux blurted, even more tears running down his face. Eridan gave him a wavering smile in return.

"See? You'v-ve giv-ven me so much more than anybody's ev-ver giv-ven me. You'v-ve giv-ven me more than my _family_ has ev-ver giv-ven me, Sol. I mean it."

Sollux's arms coiled tightly around Eridan's waist and he clung to him like he was some sort of lifeline. Eridan's arms went around his head, and Sollux found himself smothered in Eridan's tear-soaked scarf.

"I don't hate you," Eridan whispered, squeezing Sollux's head. "I shouldn't hav-ve said that. I'm so sorry. An' I'm so sorry for hittin' you. I'll _nev-ver_ do that again. I'm sorry."

"It'th okay. I'm thorry too."

"I lov-ve you, Sol," Eridan croaked, burying his face in Sollux's hair. "I lov-ve you so much, an' I hav-ve since the moment I met you."

Sollux clenched the back of Eridan's sweatervest in his fists, shaking so hard that he was afraid he'd crumble.

"I know," he finally said, pulling Eridan as close to him as possible.

The following week, on the thirty-first of May, and then the first and second of June, they both passed their final exams with flying colors.

**JUNE**

Coincidentally, summer vacation began on Sollux's birthday on the third.

And apparently, Eridan's birthday gift to him was so God damn big that they had to _drive_ to it. Just as Sollux suspected. He knew he was going to be out-gifted when he gave Eridan sex, chocolate, and a homemade meal for _his_ birthday.

And he was right. Eridan got him a mother fucking _beach house_ in Rhode Island right on the fucking ocean.

Jesus fucking _Christ_.

Okay, so he just rented the damn thing for them to hang out for their summer vacation. And okay, they also had Rose and Kanaya come down to spend a week with them. And _alright_, Eridan still expected Sollux to cook all the meals and tend to his 'prince'. But _still_. God damn rich fish boys.

But… Sollux couldn't stay mad for long. After all, on that first night, he had carried their luggage bag up to the master bedroom to find the king-sized bed covered in rose petals. There were strategically placed candles everywhere and a bottle of champagne chilling in some ice.

He snorted at first, called it 'something out of Karkat's shitty Japanese Hentai animes', holding his forehead as he just laughed and laughed. 'What are we, _forty?_' he remembered asking, but then he had turned around to see Eridan slowly taking his clothes off and putting on his best 'fuck me' face and okay the rose petals weren't so bad.

He still laughed at the rose petals when he saw them the following morning after a crazy night of drinking and frotting and blowjobs and handjobs aplenty. Eridan slapped him for it.

So they spent their summer at the love nest oops I mean beach house. Most trips down to the beach consisted of Sollux bitching and whining about the heat whilst huddling under the shade of the umbrella. Meanwhile Eridan showed off his manly muscles in his Speedo while he swam and did other… manly things.

Like build sand castles.

Sollux humored Eridan with that one, but he absolutely refused to touch the water. For good reasons. He wouldn't say.

He ended up getting the worse sunburn of his life, and he whimpered and whined all the way home, even when Eridan carried him on his back.

Eridan felt guilty, so he just laid Sollux belly-down on the bed, took his useless swim trunks off, then spread nice, cool aloe-vera on his shoulders and back. He even kissed his bare asscheeks (literally), but then made a snarky comment about how his ass was hardly in existence and that it was such a shame that his bottom wasn't so much of a prime cut of lush ass as much as it was just a dry, wimpy piece of assbeef jerky.

In the end, they bickered about it then got in a weird argument about the technical use of butts and (somehow?) Sollux got the boot and had to sleep on the couch.

Later that night, however, Eridan came out of the bedroom and carried his snoozing princess back into the room for some making out I mean making up time.

Synopsis: it was the best summer vacation Sollux ever had.

**JULY**

"Can't sleep?"

Sollux leaned against the doorframe of the sliding glass doors that led out to the second story balcony of the beach house, where Eridan was standing and just staring blankly out at the beach grass below. When Sollux spoke, he jumped a bit and turned to look at him. He smiled a little and brushed his hair out of his face.

"No. I'm kinda just lost in thought, you know?" Eridan asked, He crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the railing.

"Yeah. I'm going to miss this place, too. I don't really want to leave tomorrow. I feel like I just got here," Sollux sighed. Eridan shook his head.

"No… it's not that. Come here."

Curious, Sollux stepped out onto the balcony and slid the door shut behind him, then went to Eridan. He moved to lean his head on Eridan's shoulder, but Eridan seemed to want to be in _his_ arms instead. So Sollux took his boyfriend into his arms, swaying a bit with him as they listened to the sound of the beach.

"Did you like comin' out here?" Eridan asked after a while, moving his hands up to rest on Sollux's chest. Sollux kissed Eridan's scalp.

"Mhm. It's been a blast, babe. Of course I liked it."

Eridan traced circles with his index finger just below Sollux's shoulder.

"Okay… an'… I was wonderin'… is all this romantic stuff too much? Is it too um… corny or somethin'? Is it makin' you uncomfortable?"

"I… well yeah, it's corny as hell, Eridan. But to be honest… I don't know, I expected it from you?" Sollux said, raising an eyebrow at himself. He felt Eridan hunch his shoulders. "Oh, nonono, don't mistake that as me not liking it. It's corny and cheesy and stuff you'd expect from a weird porno-slash-romcom thing, but I really do like it."

"Alright… now…" Eridan trailed off. He pulled away from Sollux a bit so he could look up into his eyes. "What about me? How do you feel about me?"

Sollux's eyebrows knitted.

"About you? What do you mean?"

Eridan sighed.

"Sol, this might come across as a little petty or whatever, but… I'm kind of worried."

"About…?"

"Us."

"Why?" Sollux asked, his grip on Eridan's elbows tightening a little. "Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?"

"It's not somethin' that happened, and it's not somethin' you did," Eridan said, shaking his head. "It's um… somethin' you _haven't_ done."

"And what's that?"

Eridan opened his mouth to speak, but their eyes met and he looked away again.

"I… it's hard to say. It's embarrassin'."

"Eridan, spit it out."

"Um, well… hehe, wow, this is really actually a lot harder than I thought," Eridan giggled, looking out at the beach. Sollux frowned.

"I can't fix anything unless you tell me what's wrong," Sollux urged. Eridan looked down and swallowed.

"Okay. Well… I guess I'm tryin' to say that… well, I'm wonderin' if you still have feelin's for me. Or if I'm doin' somethin' to piss you off."

"No, you haven't pissed me off at all. What makes you think that?"

"If I haven't pissed you off, then why-!" Eridan began heatedly, his body tensing. Then, he caught himself and let himself relax. He turned out of Sollux's hold and put his hands on the railing of the balcony. "Why won't you tell me you love me?"

"Oh," Sollux said. He looked away and turned towards the railing. "…That's what's been bugging you."

"Yeah. I know it's stupid, but it's been weighin' on my mind recently. An' it's makin' me really-"

"Self conscious?" Sollux chuckled. "Yeah, I know. I can tell."

"You can?"

"Of course, stupid. You've been really bitchy and picky about taking showers before sex, grooming before sex, _primping_ before sex… even more so than usual. I thought you were on your period or something, so I didn't say anything."

Eridan punched his shoulder, and Sollux laughed.

"But seriously. Yes, I noticed."

Sollux looked down at the railing and saw Eridan's bejeweled fingers walking across the metal bar to his hand. Eridan put his hand over Sollux's and rubbed his knuckles with his thumb.

"I'm not sayin' you _have_ to say it. I just want to know why you haven't. An' if it's somethin' I can fix."

"There isn't anything to fix," Sollux said with a shake of his head. "But… Eridan, it's only been a couple months, and-"

"It's been a half a year, Sol," Eridan interrupted. Sollux turned his head to him and saw Eridan looking right back, hurt in his eyes. "It's been six months. I've probably said 'I love you' a million times by now."

"Six months, huh?" Sollux sighed, looking up at the stars. "That long already? It hardly feels like it."

"If you don't count the little breakup we had, then yeah."

"The breakup that lasted literally about five minutes?"

"Hehe. Yes."

Sollux smiled, then looked down.

"Eridan… I've thrown the word 'love' around in my life like a fucking idiot. It was the worst with Karkat. Telling him that I loved him via a stupid text, saying it casually just to see how he'd react… I treated love like a big fucking _joke_. I treated it that way because that was what I believed it was. I was a real stupid fucktard before I met you. Well… before school even started. I've really um… grown up a lot since then. I'm proud of how far I've come. Thanks to you, thanks to my friends, thanks to that _whole_ fucking university. And now that I've grown up at least a little, I think 'love' means a lot more to me than it does before."

"How so?"

"It means that I don't want 'us' to end up the same way as me and Karkat. I don't want to rush into things and crash and… lose you like I lost Karkat, alright?"

Sollux gnawed his lip and looked down, shaking his head a little. Eridan was silent, but he squeezed Sollux's hand.

"You miss him a lot, don't you?"

Sollux coughed, spluttered, and covered his eyes with his hand.

"Yes," he croaked. His voice cracked hard.

"Oh, Sol…"

Eridan pressed into him and hugged him from the side as Sollux took deep breaths and tried to reign in his emotions. He only let his hand fall away from his face when he was sure he had a good grip on his feelings, and even then his eyes were watering.

"Don't take it personally, Eridan," Sollux said, slipping an arm around Eridan's shoulders and nuzzling his hair. "I honestly want to try to be a better person and grow the fuck up. I want to take more responsibility in my relationships and stop using the abuse and neglect I've gone through as an excuse."

"…Are you doin' all of that for me?"

"Partially. A lot of it is because of you, yeah. But most of it is for me. I'm ready to stop letting this be a nightmare for me. Also, I don't think you deserve a bipolar, depressed, possibly schizo boyfriend."

Eridan laughed and snuggled into Sollux, putting an arm around his waist.

"You say that like I'm a perfect human bein'."

"Compared to me? You are."

They went silent, but the silence was comfortable.

"But yeah," Sollux sighed. "I care about you a lot, probably more than anyone I've ever cared about. Yes, even more than Karkat. But I want to take things more seriously than I have been. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a nineteen year old man, and the fact that it has taken me this long to figure that out is pretty fucking sad."

"Well, I'm glad for you an' all, but…" Eridan began. He reached up to cup Sollux's cheek to turn his face towards him. "Does tellin' me you love me make you less of a man?"

"No," Sollux said with a smile. He reached up and grabbed Eridan's hand, but kept it up against his cheek. "But I want to make sure I'm positively, completely, one-hundred-percent sure about how I feel about you before I drop _that_ kind of bomb."

"Hmph. Fine," Eridan mock-pouted. Then, his lips upturned and he craned his neck to kiss Sollux's cheek. "But you don't have to worry about waitin' for me. I really mean it when I say it. I love you, I love you, I _love_ you an' I always have."

"Of course. Who wouldn't instantly fall in love with this fucking sex god? Just look at my iron hard abs."

Sollux flexed. Eridan just snorted and shoved him away.

"An' just when I thought you were ready to be mature, you fuckin' asshole. _Cod_."

"A half a year with you and that accent is still the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard."

"That's it. Fuck you. I'm lockin' you out."

"Dude, babe, I was just kidding, c'mon…"

"Ugh, fine. Hurry up. I'm gettin' cold as hell out here anyway. Come along, Bedwarmer."

"Ehehehe."

**AUGUST**

"Um, yes, hello? Mrs. Vantas?"

They were seated on Eridan's bed together. Sollux held his cellphone to his ear with one hand, and the other was being held tightly in Eridan's lap. Eridan continuously stroked the back of his hand and played with his fingers. Sollux wasn't even shivering, but he knew that Eridan knew that he was afraid.

"Yes, hi. It's… it's me, Sollux."

Sollux listened and a slow smile spread on his face.

"I've missed you, too. Look, I… um… Mrs. Vantas, I-"

He was interrupted, and a moment later his eyes creased and glistened.

"I-I thought… I thought you were mad at me. Sorry, M-Mom."

Sollux sniffled and put his head down. Eridan squeezed his hand.

"…I just assumed… with the whole Karkat thing that y-you'd be-"

Hanging off of her every word, Sollux looked up again.

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Mom. I just wanted to call and talk to you again, because I know it's been a really long time…Yes. So I guess you know about um… me being gay?"

Sollux blushed a little, then relaxed.

"Thank you for being so understanding. I wish I had told you soone- What?"

Eyebrows furrowing, Sollux listened to Mrs. Vantas talk for a long time. And as time went on, his face grew paler and paler.

Eridan was shaking with curiosity when Sollux finally rasped his goodbyes and hung up the phone.

"What'd she say, Sol? Is everythin' alright?"

But Sollux wasn't listening. He was dialing another number with fumbling fingers. He messed it up once. Twice. Three times before he finally got the number right. The mistakes felt chillingly familiar. Pressing the phone back to his ear, he waited.

It didn't even ring once before a computerized female voice was telling him that the number he had reached had been disconnected. He slowly lowered his phone and just let the automated message repeat itself over and over as he just stared blankly at the screen.

"…Sol? Baby, what's wrong?"

"My mom," Sollux croaked after a long pause. "Not Mrs. Vantas, my real mom. She moved."

"Wha-… What?" Eridan asked, squinting. "And you didn't know about it? Did she even fuckin' text you about it?"

Sollux swallowed hard.

"No."


	36. Chapter 36: Act 2

**Freestyle Lovers contest! **

**Due to a lack of entries, the deadline for the contest has been extended _another two weeks._ Please visit http: / / sweetmotherofbuckets(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/freelovecontest for more information!**

**Here's the start of Act 2! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 36]<p>

**ACT TWO**

**AUGUST 21, 2012**

Bursting into the classroom with his bags swinging precariously at his hip, Sollux Captor, aged nineteen and weighing significantly more than he had on that same date a year prior, panted like he had just ran a marathon. The professor who stood at the front of the class turned to look at him.

"You're late," he hissed. Sollux took a second to catch his breath.

"Sorry, Mr. Slick," Sollux rasped. "I had to talk to another one of my professors."

"Just sit _down_."

"Yes sir."

Sollux scanned the room until he spotted an empty seat all the way up at the top row. Going up the stairs two steps at a time, he quickly went to the seat and plopped down. He was a bit red in the face as every head that had turned to watch him slowly looked back at the front of the classroom.

Sighing, Sollux hauled his laptop bag up onto the table and pulled his laptop out. He lovingly ran his fingers over the worn lid, brushing off any dust particles that may have been resting on it. Although he had his _Alienware_ laptop back at Eridan's dorm (scratch that, his _and_ Eridan's dorm), he still used his old personal computer for schoolwork.

"Wow. That piece of shit has been through hell and back, and it's _still_ running. Color me fucking impressed."

Sollux's head snapped up to look at his classmate who sat beside him. The first thing he saw was a round, uncharacteristically motherly face, a set of big chocolate brown eyes, and a head of tousled ebony hair.

"Karkat," Sollux breathed. They just sat there staring at each other before Karkat turned to look back at the professor, who was talking about some stupid shit Sollux couldn't care less about.

"Glad to see you're still fucking alive," Karkat grumbled, putting his elbow on the desk and resting his chin on his palm. He didn't look at Sollux.

"Likewise," Sollux said softly. He folded his hands on his desk and looked down at his twiddling thumbs.

"You're not wearing the wristband."

Sollux glanced at his wrist and smiled a tiny bit before rubbing it.

"Yeah…"

"That's fucking great."

"Yeah."

"Finally decided to stop fucking hurting people, then?"

Sollux cringed and squeezed his wrist hard. He shut his eyes for a moment. There were so many emotions trying to burst forward at once: hurt, confusion, happiness, complete and utter rage. He said nothing.

"Well whoever got your stupid ass to stop, I'm impressed as hell. It's not every day that that someone snaps the all-powerful Mr. Selfish Asshole himself. I hope you didn't fucking _scar_ them for life in the process."

"Shut your fucking mouth," Sollux hissed, putting his head in his hand. "Just shut your fucking mouth and never fucking talk to me again, alright? If you hate me, you don't have to talk to me. Simple as that. And frankly, I don't want to fucking talk to you, either. Tho _fuck_ off!"

Sollux just sat there for a while with his head in his hands. He had a God damn headache again. He clenched his jaw tight to hold himself together, but that only made the throbbing behind his eyes worse.

"I'm sorry, alright?"

Sollux peeked out from behind his hands to Karkat, who had looked down at his clasped hands on the table.

"I'm bitter as fuck about this whole thing. You can probably tell. And when I saw you coming up here to sit next to me, I didn't fucking know what to do. Do I say sorry? Do I punch him in the fucking sniveling face? That's what I thought."

"It's been almost eight months, dude," Sollux whispered, eyes creasing. Karkat's brows furrowed as he slid his eyes up to finally meet Sollux's.

"You think I don't fucking know that? What the fuck do you think I've been doing? Do you think I haven't had my fucking cell phone's volume on full blast since then? Waiting for you to call and fucking apologize?"

"I didn't think you would want to hear my voice."

"I fucking didn't! Not for a while, anyway. So I deleted your fucking number and…"

"You deleted my number?"

"No shit, Sherlock. I was pissed as hell. I _am_ pissed as hell."

"Why?"

"Why didn't you _fucking_ call me?" Karkat asked sharply, whipping his head around to stare at Sollux with wide, furious eyes. "Huh? Are you really _that_ caught up in whatever the fuck you've been doing for the past half year? Huh? That you couldn't spare your best friend a fucking _apology_ call?"

"I'm done," Sollux breathed. "Stop. Just stop. It's obvious to me that even after all this time, you still fucking hate me. Don't even talk to me anymore."

Sollux's phone buzzed twice in his pocket, and he leaned over to dig it out. Flipping his phone open, he saw a new text.

_sol pick up candy from the store_

Sollux rolled his eyes.

_bad tiime babe_

_the vvariety bag wwill be just fine_

_je2u2 chrii2t eriidan_

Karkat had stopped talking and had returned his attention to the teacher with renewed vigor, obviously ignoring Sollux. Sollux looked down at his laptop and pretended to be typing notes.

But instead he just stared emptily at a blank Google webpage for the full two hours.

Later, he slunk out of the classroom with his proverbial tail between his legs, refusing to look anyone in the eye as he left. That was an experience he never wanted to have again. Everything had happened so fast; so much faster than he had wanted. He hadn't had time to tell Karkat how much he missed him, how much he meant to him, everything. Too shocked by Karkat's simple _appearance_, Sollux had sat there like a complete moron, unsure of what to say.

Because the only words he could think of had been '_are we still friends?_', '_can we still be friends?_', '_want to be friends again?_'

'_Will you forgive me?_'

He went home feeling an emptiness that only one person in the whole world could fill.

* * *

><p>"I'm home."<p>

Sollux didn't hear an answer as he softly shut the door behind him. He slid out of his shoes and padded across the carpet, where the setting sun had dyed everything orange.

He found Eridan huddled up on the couch with a fleece throw draped over his body. His face was buried in the depths of a pillow, and with every breath he took, he snored quietly. Irritably, Sollux clicked his tongue and looked at the big bag of assorted candies for which he had gone out of his way to purchase.

"You made me buy candy for you, then you fall asleep before I even get home. Nice," Sollux muttered under his breath. Without mercy or a moment of hesitation, he held the candy bag over Eridan and released it.

The resulting yelp and limb-flailing he got in return was worth the punch in the stomach he received a moment later.

"Evenin', Sleeping Beauty," Sollux drawled as Eridan sat up and loudly smacked his lips. Eridan only snorted in response and lifted his hands over his head in a stretch. The blanket slid off of his body, revealed a very interesting choice in attire.

"Nice shirt," Sollux commented as he saw Eridan wearing his own black t-shirt with the yellow Gemini symbol printed on it. "If I remember correctly, you bought that shirt for me."

"You never fuckin' wear it, you ungrateful prick. Why put it to waste?" Eridan huffed, hugging himself. "It's mine now."

"Have fun washing it."

"I fuckin' _will!_"

Sollux laughed as Eridan fell back on the couch again and yawned. He reached up with one hand and Sollux took it. Interlacing fingers, they absentmindedly pushed against each other with their palms, playfully trying to see who would submit first.

"Somethin' wrong, Sol? You seem even pissier than usual today."

"Jee, thanks."

"I'm serious. You got that look on your face like somethin's wrong. Tell me."

"Well… I saw Karkat today. He's in my class."

"Oh boy," Eridan sighed. He looked down.

"Don't worry, it's alright. He's still bitter as fuck and buttmad about things, but at least he doesn't want to rip out my fucking throat anymore. I think."

Eridan smiled weakly.

"I'm not worried about that."

"Then what's wrong?"

"What about me?" he asked with a bit of hesitation, sitting up and holding Sollux's hand tightly. He looked him straight in the eyes. "I suppose, if things get better with him, you'll want to move back in with him. Won't you."

It was more of a statement than a question.

Sollux looked away and out the window for a few moments. The sky was turning gray.

"Eridan, that's only assuming he actually forgives me."

"An' if he does, you're leavin' me."

"No, of course not!" Sollux exclaimed in alarm. He released Eridan's hand and hurried around to the front of the couch. He knelt before him, putting his hands on his slim waist and holding him. "If I move back in with him, I won't break up with you."

"It's goin' to cause nothin' but conflict, Sol, an' you know it."

"He's my best friend."

"You're my _boyfriend_."

They sat in silence. Their eyes were connecting, but the usual spark that was there was gone.

"Eridan…"

Eridan glared down at his folded hands in his lap.

"Eridan, look at me."

He didn't.

"I don't even know why it's somethin' you're even questionin'. I know you're friends with Kar, but you were fuckin' in _love_ with him. I think I have a right to be just a little upset that you're even considerin' movin' back in with him."

"_Eridan_."

Eridan stood up and pulled out of Sollux's grip, leaving his candy on the couch cushion. He crossed his arms and walked around the couch. For the first time, Sollux noticed that Eridan was also wearing a pair of his bumblebee boxers.

Uh-oh.

"Babe, come on, don't do this," he pleaded, crawling up onto the couch and resting his chin on the back of it so he could stare at Eridan's head as he walked away. Eridan went to the bedroom hall and, with one last cold look over his shoulder, he marched out of sight.

It _had_ been a big bomb to drop on Eridan, especially considering that, under all the sassy bullshit, his boyfriend was a paranoid, self-conscious young man who needed reassurance that Sollux cared about with him almost constantly.

It didn't help that Eridan was still the only person that had said '_I love you_'.

Frowning, Sollux stood up and grabbed the candy bag. He went to the bedroom hall and noticed that Eridan had left his bedroom door just a crack. He slowly pushed the door open the rest of the way to reveal Eridan on the bed on his side, curled up into a tiny ball with his back to Sollux.

"Are you mad at me?" Sollux asked. No answer. Stepping into the room, Sollux let out a long sigh. "You know I hate it when you pout like that. Babe. Baby. Sweetheart. _Sugar_."

Eridan's visible shoulder hunched a little. Progress.

Sollux walked around to Eridan's side. However, before he even got a glimpse of his boyfriend's face, he rolled over and faced away from him again.

"Eridan, oh my God," Sollux groaned. He tipped his head back and blew a hair out of his eyes. "Alright, fine."

He crammed himself onto the bed right behind Eridan. Eridan didn't respond, but he shifted a tiny bit to give Sollux more room.

"I'm going to eat all of this candy by myself," Sollux warned. He opened the bag and pulled out a little mini-packet of Skittles. He ripped it open and pulled out a yellow one. Feeling dejected when he still didn't get a response from Eridan, he practically rolled on top of Eridan and lowered the candy into his face. He poked it against his lips. "Eat it. C'mon…"

Eridan let out a small sigh out of his nose. Sollux felt the tip of his tongue pass over the finger that held the candy.

"I don't like the yellow ones. I want a fuckin' purple one."

"What the hell? Nobody likes the purple ones."

"_Gimmie a purple one!_"

"Alright, alright," Sollux said, popping the yellow Skittle into his mouth. He dug around in the packet and got a purple Skittle. Once again, he lowered it to Eridan's lips. Eridan pecked at it before sucking it into his mouth.

"Babe," Sollux said while Eridan silently sucked on it and chewed with a pouty look on his face. When Eridan still didn't answer, Sollux put his arm over his waist and forced him to roll partially onto his back with a hand on his belly. Eridan finally looked up at him, caught somewhere between indignation and hurt. Either way, he looked like he required some major sucking-up to. Sollux propped his head up on his palm. "Eridan, I won't move in with him. I'm sorry. I was just really shocked by the whole thing and I got carried away. I'm really sorry."

Eridan gave his candy one more thoughtful chew before swallowing.

"I love you," he finally said. Sollux's lips twitched, and he gave Eridan's stomach an affectionate rub.

"I know."

"Anyway," Eridan said after a short pause. "Damn straight you won't be movin' back in with him. You're fuckin' _mine_, an' if anyone wants you, I'll fuckin' kick their ass. An' then I'll kick yours."

"The hell? Why mine?"

"So you know that you fuckin' belong to me."

Sollux grimaced.

"Wow, this relationship isn't possessive at all."

Eridan frowned, his confident glower faltering a little. Without warning, he reached up and cupped Sollux's neck in his hand. He dragged Sollux down close enough so his cool lips were brushing against Sollux's ear. He whispered something. Sollux only smiled.

"Of course I don't think you're being overprotective."

More whispers.

"I won't leave."

Whisper.

"I promise."

Whisper, mumble, whisper.

"I know you do."

Sollux pulled away and interrupted Eridan's next whispered question with a peck on the lips. When he lifted his head again, he rested his forehead on Eridan's. They just sat there for a few minutes, holding each other tightly.

Eridan's eyes flicked down to Sollux's lips, and Sollux was there in a split second, kissing him and running his hand up and down his waist. The shirt Eridan wore rode up with each pass of his boyfriend's hand.

There was giggling from one of the parties, Sollux couldn't tell who. He pushed himself up so he was hovering over Eridan, bracing himself with an elbow on either side of his head.

But Eridan grabbed him by the collar and flipped them both over. He hunched over Sollux, his legs folded on either side of Sollux's hips. His feet came up to hook on his thighs to give him a bit more leverage and control, but his hands remained on Sollux's shoulders. Sneaky fingers creeping under Eridan's shirt, Sollux brushed over his smooth, pulled-taut skin.

Oh, how he loved football season. That's right, Eridan was one of the football team's players. Being so fast, strong, and lean, he qualified for nearly every position on the field. Naturally, he was a quarterback. He had an uncanny talent for tackling a fully grown man to the ground in two seconds flat. The guy was just a fucking stud at everything he did.

"You're ripped," Sollux complimented when Eridan broke away to catch his breath. Smiling, Eridan sat up and lifted his shirt. He gave his brand new six-pack a flex. It was still in development, but it was definitely there.

"Do you like 'em?"

"They're hotter than hell," Sollux stated truthfully. He looked up. "Are you excited for Homecoming?"

"Hell yes. Hell. Fuckin'. Yes," Eridan growled, bouncing on top of Sollux and doing a couple fist pumps. "You'll be there, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, babe. You know I wouldn't. Even though sports are fucking dumb, I'll go for you."

"How cute," Eridan scoffed. "You could've said yes or no, you insufferable prick."

"You love it when I'm a douche."

Eridan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. Okay. Anyway, onto things I actually give a shit about. Wanna go to a party this weekend?"

Sollux raised an eyebrow.

"…What kind of party?"

Eridan winced and shyly tapped his fingers together.

"…A rave party?" he asked sheepishly.

"Ugh. Are you fucking kidding me? Those kinds of parties are fucking stupid. All it is is a bunch of sweaty assholes flailing to the beat of a song nobody's ever fucking heard of. Oh, and if you don't know, rave parties are where they find underage kids trampled to death or dead on the floor because of an overdose of acid or ecstasy. Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"It'll be fun. Jesus Christ, you're such a fuckin' tightwad, Sol. I haven't gone to a rave party in so long. Please?"

"Can't you find someone _else_ to go with?" Sollux groaned. Eridan huffed and reached down to tweak Sollux's nipple through his shirt. "Fuck, _ow_!"

The following sissyfight lasted a solid ten minutes.

"_Sooool_!" Eridan whined, lowering himself on top of Sollux and wrapping every appendage around him like a fucking koala. Together, they rolled all over the bed until Eridan was on top again. "I'll do anythin'!"

"Anything?"

"Mhm."

"How about you wash my truck?"

Eridan pouted.

"I was thinkin' somethin' more along the lines of…" he trailed off, crawling backwards before palming Sollux's crotch. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Sollux put his hands behind his head.

"Nah, I think I want you to wash my truck. In short shorts. While I watch with a fresh Pepsi in my hands."

"_Fuck_ you!" Eridan exclaimed, thrusting his middle finger in Sollux's face. Sollux winked at him. "Fine! I'll wash your stupid, ugly, _cheapass_ truck!"

"Says the prick who can't even drive," Sollux said out of the corner of his mouth. Eridan stuck out his lower lip.

"You're the worst boyfriend ever."

He crossed his arms and looked away.

"If it's any consolation, your six-pack makes my cock happy."

Eridan couldn't suppress it. He burst into hysterical laughter, squeal-snort and all. He collapsed on top of Sollux, then rolled off of him and draped an arm over his waist. He snuggled into Sollux's side.

"Seriously, Sol. I want to take you out on a date, then a rave party afterwards."

"Will you pay for dinner?"

"Do I ever _not_ pay for dinner? Jesus fuckin' Christ."

"Take me to Red Lobster. Endless shrimp. And get booze, too. The kind _I_ like. Not that shitty fancy gold-flake shit. Then I'll go to a rave party with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"An' then sex?" Eridan murmured, looking up to press a lazy kiss to Sollux's jaw. "Lots an' lots of sex?"

"Mmhmm," Sollux hummed. Eridan hooked on of his legs over Sollux's. Thanks to the shorts he was wearing, he could feel Eridan's bare leg against his calf. He could feel the long, blonde hair that had grown on Eridan's legs after several months of not having to shave them for swimming. Sollux secretly loved it.

In the lull in their conversation, both boys fell asleep to the sound of the slight breeze outside, and the beginnings of rain pattering against the window pane.


	37. Chapter 37

**Small trigger warning? It's not bad at all, but it might affect some more than others. Some might not even notice it.**

**EDIT:: changed the bit about the psychiatrist to fit the doctor-patient law. Thank you for notifying me.**

**EDITx2:: changed a bit about the college bell.**

**EDITx3:: JESUS CHRIST. Finished some dumb typos! Sorry for the confusion.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>[Chapter 37]<p>

Yawning, Sollux sat up and slid out of bed. He went to the bedroom door and exited, still groggily gripping the wall to support his wavering body. Everything was a little strange. The corners of his eyes were blurred, as if he was looking through some tunnel. As he passed through the living room to the opposite hallway and the bathroom, the shadows around him stretched and compressed, lurking around every corner. The grandfather clock read two in the afternoon. When he looked away and back again, it read three in the morning.

He entered the bathroom and was overwhelmed by a sick feeling in his gut. Cautiously, he turned on the lightswitch. It didn't work the first time. When he flicked it back down, the light turned on. It wasn't the usual light, but a weird isolated LED lightbulb in the center of the bathroom. It was longer than usual, and everything was pale purple in color. Everything undulated, making walking nearly impossible. Stumbling forward, Sollux fought to see with the blurred-out edges of his eyes.

One moment, the bathtub was empty. The next moment, Eridan was in it, naked.

Submerged in blood red water.

Sollux blinked and the water turned deep purple, but there were gashes all over his body. His arms, his stomach, his neck. Sollux tried to fall to his knees, but his legs locked up.

He heard footsteps. Even though he heard no voices, he knew exactly who it was.

He broke into a run, trying to get out of the bathroom but it was getting longer and longer and he couldn't run any faster than a slow crawl because his legs were too heavy to even move and his feet felt like they were getting caught in the rug on the floor and the footsteps were getting closer and closer and Sollux was panting hard and trying to get away but every time he moved he whirled around to face Eridan again dead in the bathtub and covered in his own blood,

"Eridan, Eridan" he cried over and over but there was no answer and the footsteps were getting closer and he was crying and his eyes felt like they were going to fall out of his skull,

"How nice it is to see you again, Sweetheart _Come give your uncle a great big hug_"

Get away get away don't touch me Eridan wake up why won't you wake up oh God what's happening why can't I move my legs where am I ERIDAN WAKE UP

_Crash._

The boom of thunder jerked Sollux awake, and without a second's thought, he swung his arm and smacked Eridan hard on the side. Eridan jumped awake with a small cry.

"Sol, what's wrong, what's wrong?" he asked the darkness, his voice nothing but a low whine. "Honey?"

"Nothing," Sollux breathed, staring with wide eyes. _Just checking if you're alive, nothing special_. He clutched Eridan to him like a priceless treasure that was going to be stolen away from him. He squeezed his eyes shut and fought back the terrified tears gathering behind his closed lids. "N-Nothing ith wrong."

"Did you have a nightmare?" Eridan asked, hardly audible over the pounding rain on the roof. Sollux nodded. "Oh, darlin'. It's okay."

Eridan softly hushed him, stroking his hair over and over.

"I'm here," Eridan whispered, holding Sollux close. "C'mon. Let's get under covers. You're cold. It's makin' me cold."

Together, they burrowed under the covers. Eridan turned his blanket warmer up full blast and, for once, Sollux felt better as the heat enveloped him.

"It's okay," Eridan was chanting over and over, kissing Sollux's face. Over time, Sollux calmed down and relaxed in Eridan's hold.

He hugged Eridan tightly and buried his face in his chest, refusing to look up until he drifted back into a sleep full of light, pointless dreams and thoughts.

* * *

><p>Someone's cellphone alarm went off, then there was a groan as it was shut off a moment later.<p>

"Mmm."

His fingers walked down his boyfriend's back to the hem of his boxers, which he fingered briefly before tunneling underneath and grabbing a big handful of ass. He kneaded one cheek, then went to the other and repeated. All the while, contented murmurings and hums escaped his lips. Then, his stomach ruined it by grumbling.

"You hungry or somethin'?"

"Hungry for _ass_," Sollux replied groggily. "Just a quickie, Eridan."

"Can't. Haven't showered. I've got class too, an' I can't risk fallin' back asleep," Eridan said, sitting up and pulling Sollux's hand out of his boxers.

"_Nnn_," Sollux whined as Eridan slipped out of bed. With one flailing hand, he caught Eridan by the hem of his boxers and pulled him back to sit on the bed. He scooted over to kiss the small of Eridan's back. "Skip class."

Eridan only laughed.

"I can't do that. I don't have a perfect 4.0 like _you_ do. You fuckin' nerd."

"Get smarter so you can stay home and have sex, stupid," Sollux slurred, still pretty tired. Eridan snorted.

"C'mon, let go."

"One more minute," Sollux mumbled. He kissed Eridan's back again, then pushed on Eridan's back so he had to bend forward a bit. Sollux pulled his boxers down another quarter of the way, then literally kissed his ass.

"You're so dumb," Eridan sighed. He gasped when Sollux bit his left cheek. "Al_right_! That's enough!"

Sollux pouted when his morning treat pulled away. Eridan puffed out his cheeks in irritation before pulling the boxers back up. They were a little tight on him, given the fact that Eridan's butt was probably twice the size of Sollux's.

Sollux liked that.

"How long do you think your class is today?" Sollux asked, waking up a bit more and sitting up partway. Of course, the night before he had kicked off all his clothes. Again. Eridan hated it. Sollux didn't give a fuck.

"It's one of those big four hour blocks. I've got two classes in a row, but I'm free for the rest of the night," Eridan grumbled. "I'm just as excited about it as you are."

"Any plans tonight?"

Eridan turned to scowl at Sollux.

"What are you hintin' at?"

"You know exactly what."

Eridan rolled his eyes, but instead of leaving like Sollux expected, he marched right up to the edge of the bed, crawled up on it, then pushed Sollux on his back again. He pressed a kiss to Sollux's chest before dragging his tongue across his collarbone and up the center of his throat. It darted across Sollux's lips before plunging into his mouth. Sollux's eyelids fluttered before he closed them and pushed back against him. Eridan's fingers walked down his chest and pushed the blankets back. Sollux quivered with excitement, his morning wood quickly re-hardening at the prospect of getting a good morning handjob.

When Eridan grabbed him and began to stroke, Sollux's eyes rolled to the back of his head. _Shit_ he loved it in the morning like this.

"_Fuck_ yes," he snarled under his breath when Eridan pulled away from the kiss, his hips rocking to the rhythm of his touching.

"You like that?" Eridan whispered, his breath hot in Sollux's ear. Sollux nodded fervently, moaning when Eridan's tongue trailed up his ear.

When precum started sliding down his cock and onto Eridan's fingers in heavy droplets, Eridan promptly pulled away. Sollux let out a choked sound, his hips still thrusting into empty air. He opened his eyes just in time to see Eridan splay his hand in front of his face and lick the shining liquid off his dripping digits.

"Just a few requests," Eridan said with a wink. He reached down and tugged gently at Sollux's pubic hair. "Trim this."

He reached up and tickled Sollux's facial hair.

"An' shave off the fuckin' goatee. It looks like shit."

"You _said_ you wanted me to grow it out!" Sollux barked.

"Yeah. An' I don't like it. Turn it into a soul patch or shave it all or _somethin'_. Gross," Eridan said, waving his hand dismissively. He slid out of bed and started towards the door.

"Are you _seriously_ leaving me like this?" Sollux asked incredulously, gesturing wildly to his crotch. Eridan stopped at the doorway and glanced over his shoulder.

"I warned you that I had to go. I'll fuck you good and hard tonight, kitten."

A stick of deodorant went flying across the room and smacked into the doorframe right next to Eridan's head.

"_Fuck you!_"

With a cackle, Eridan pranced off. A second later, Sollux heard the shower running and cheerful singing drifting down the hall.

"Shitting piece of shit, Jesus fucking Christ fucker piece of shit," Sollux cursed, kicking the blankets off of his legs. He rolled onto his side and, with a grunt, grabbed his now-aching erection and pumped furiously, his hand a blur. His string of curses melted into incoherent gasping and moaning. As he felt his stomach drop and his abdomen clench, he snatched up Eridan's pillow and smothered his face in it. Half of the reason was to muffle his yelp when he came, but the other half was to smell Eridan's still-fresh aroma on the pillow.

It shot out in thick white ropes, coating Eridan's side of the bed. Sollux's yelp turned into a whine and high-pitched gasping. Fuck, his orgasm sounds were girly as hell.

With a contented sigh, he let the pillow fall away and just continued to stroke himself as he softened. His eyes slid shut and he calmed his pounding heart.

"God damned _asshole_."

* * *

><p>"Shit," Eridan cursed as Sollux emerged from the bedroom freshly showered, shaved, and dressed in a t-shirt and khaki shorts. Eridan was standing at the doorway with about eight thousand books in his arms. He wore his black felt coat with the silver buckles, the one Sollux loved so much. He was dressed in jeans and his trademark scarf, of course. The purple one.<p>

"Need some help?" Sollux asked, taking a couple books out of Eridan's hands. In turn, it freed one hand enough for him to adjust his scarf and glasses. "Why the actual reading glasses today? Did you finally get sick and tired of the lame hipster glasses?"

"Shut the hell up. Anyway, readin' glasses are a lot more helpful for big huge fuckin' walls of text. Seriously, who assigns this many fuckin' books?"

Sollux looked over his shoulder and to the window wall, noticing that it was still sprinkling outside.

"Eridan, it's still raining. I'll take you to class."

"You don't have to," Eridan muttered, taking his books back from Sollux and adjusting them all in his arms. "It's only a few blocks."

"No, it's okay. I'll walk you," Sollux insisted. He grabbed the umbrella that was hanging up one of the coat hooks. Eridan stared at him for a moment before burying his nose in his scarf.

"Fine. But you better be able to fuckin' keep up."

They exited the dorm and the building, and Sollux opened the umbrella just outside the door. He held it for both of them. The thing was big enough for them to both walk under comfortably, but they used it as an excuse to walk close enough for their shoulders to touch.

Rain always brought out the philosophical, thoughtful side in Sollux. Yes, he was still thinking about ass and sex and eating the second he got back to the dorm, but the majority of his thoughts were about important things.

Such as the sudden disappearance of his mother. It had been intentional, of course. Mrs. Vantas said she had asked neighbors about it. Apparently she moved. They didn't know she even had a son. At least not a nineteen year old son.

She had another son. A little infant boy. Sollux didn't know. He hadn't known anything about his mother's life. He didn't know whether to be angry or hurt. Frankly, he was quite a bit of both.

He thought about how Eridan made him forget all those things. The guy still pissed him off, infuriated him, made him want to wring the closest neck, but at the end of the day…

Sollux took a deep breath and sighed, purposefully bumping against Eridan's shoulder.

A lot had changed. For a moment, Sollux wondered if his first healthy relationship was bringing out a side of him that he could actually be proud of.

"Alright, we're here," Eridan said after a while. They came to a stop in front of a building, where several students were running inside with books over their heads.

They faced each other and just gazed for a moment, both of them lost in deep thoughts brought on by the rain.

"I'll see you later then?" Sollux asked.

"O'course, moron."

Sollux smiled and reached up to very gently tuck a lock of hair behind Eridan's ear. Eridan gave him a look.

"What did I tell you about public displays of affection?"

"You don't like them."

"An' what the fuck do you think you're doin' right now?"

Sollux brought the umbrella down low so they were mostly covered by it. Leaning forward, he gave Eridan a quick kiss.

"You're weirdly sentimental today," Eridan murmured. "What was that nightmare about last night? You're bein' weird."

"Just come straight home, okay?" Sollux asked, his voice quiet.

"Sol…"

"It's just the rain. Don't worry about it."

"You're actin' like-"

Sollux held him by the arm with his free hand and brought him in for another kiss. Eridan sighed into his mouth, giving up to him, but was abruptly cut off when he jumped and squealed. Sollux lifted the umbrella instantly and saw Terezi standing behind Eridan with a huge shiteating grin on her face.

"C'mon, loverboy!" she said loudly. She grabbed Eridan's arm and tugged. "We'll be late for class!"

"Rezi? Hi, I didn't know you were in this class," Eridan said, turning away from Sollux as he stumbled away.

"I've been sick, duh!" she said with a little giggle. "I'm feeling great now, though. Come on, come on, you can make out with Appleberry Blast later!"

Sollux blinked.

"What kind of nickname is that?"

"That's the only kind of gum you chewed when you were working with us for _Les_ _Mis_," Terezi said with a big, obvious wink. It was still kind of hard to see through her big, gaudy red sunglasses. She tapped the tip of her little, naturally upturned nose. "I have a great sense of smell."

"Apparently," Sollux said with a nervous chuckle. He saw Eridan try to look over his shoulder as he was dragged up the steps to the building. With one last fleeting glance, Eridan disappeared into the double doors. A second later, the final warning bell rung, and Sollux jumped. He wasn't used to bells, but the building was so old that he wasn't really surprised. Then, he heard a distant scream and jumped again.

Weird girl.

Slouching over, Sollux shoved a hand in his pocket and dragged his feet all the way home. Damn classes. He wished he could spend time with Eridan all day. Hell knew he needed it.

Eridan always, always made him forget the things in life that brought him down.

Without him around… well.

His fist clenched on the handle of the umbrella.

_Look, Mom, look at how good I'm doing in college._

_I'm gay, did you know? I have a boyfriend, and I'm happy._

_Did you know?_

_I'm not afraid to tell you anymore._

_I'm not afraid because I know you won't care._

Stopping completely, Sollux sighed and ducked under a nearby awning of a café. He closed the umbrella and dug his cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. He pulled one of the sticks out. He hadn't smoked in a while, he thought.

As he lit up, he squinted against a hole in the clouds that leaked sunlight onto the campus grounds. Smoke billowed out of his nose and Sollux shut his eyes, letting the heat warm his lungs.

He coughed and spluttered a second later.

He _really_ hadn't smoked in a long time.

The rest of the way home, he kept the umbrella down and enjoyed the light misting of rain against his face. It was just enough to dampen his hair and darken his _3OH!3_ shirt a bit, but not enough to soak him.

"Sollux."

He looked up and froze as his mouth dropped open and his cigarette nearly slipped out. The only reason he kept it between his lips is because the figure that had spoken to him didn't make a move to come near him.

He stood beneath the awning of Eridan's dorm building, clad in a long gray trenchcoat as dreary and dull as the sky. His wrinkled lips turned upwards into a small smile when Sollux's eyes caught his.

"I haven't been waiting long. Please, may I come in? This is where they said you'd be. I was surprised, really. Did you have a fight with Karkat, sweetheart?"

"Why are you here?" Sollux asked, his voice surprisingly calm.

Uncle Kenneth smiled and outstretched one arm.

"I came to see you. You didn't call or visit over summer, so I-"

He broke off into a coughing fit, using the back of his wrist to cover his mouth. Sollux stood still for a moment, but when he saw Kenneth begin to stoop and buckle, he rushed to him and helped him to stand upright.

"I've missed you," he wheezed. "I'm sorry, but can we go inside, my dear? It's incredibly cold out here."

"Of course," Sollux said, eyebrows knitting. He helped Kenneth hobble into the building.

* * *

><p>"Thank you," Kenneth said as Sollux set a coffee mug before him. He looked around at the dorm. "Wow. This place is very nice, my dear. Tell me, how much are you paying to live here?"<p>

"Nothing. My friend is paying for it," Sollux said shortly, still standing next to the couch. Kenneth, who was sitting in the middle, looked up at Sollux with tired eyes.

"Sit down, my love."

Sollux hesitated like an abused dog. Like a fucking _dog_.

"What are you doing here?" Sollux asked suddenly. Coldly.

"Sollux," Kenneth said. His eyes creased. "You… it's a family day, honey. It's just a family day."

Sollux shifted his weight on his feet, wary. Kenneth frowned.

"Sweetheart."

"Uncle Kenneth."

Kenneth cleared his throat.

"Sollux, please. I came to talk to you about your mother. And… and your doctor's visit. I'm not going to touch you."

Sollux's world spun. He nearly tripped and fell, but somehow he managed to sit beside his uncle on the sofa. He quivered, and the arm hairs on the side closest to Kenneth stood up on end.

He burst into tears.

An arm went around his shoulders and brought him in close, and a comforting hand ran though his hair.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way," Kenneth said lowly. Sollux sobbed and grabbed hold of his uncle's sweater, holding him tight. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Sollux cried in waves. Just when he thought he was calm, he'd cry again, and his uncle would just tangle his fingers in his hair or pet his hair or affectionately scratch his scalp.

"Hath she talked to you?" Sollux finally asked once he had composed himself enough to form coherent sentences. Kenneth looked down.

"Yes."

"About me?"

"…No. No she did not."

"Are you lying?"

"No."

"You're lying to me!"

Sollux shoved him away, and in blind fury, he stood up and stumbled backwards so fast he thought he was going to fall. Kenneth hauled himself to his feet and took a step forward. The movement spooked Sollux, and he slumped to his knees, covering his head with his hands.

Kenneth knelt before him.

"Grief changes people," he said slowly.

"I'm her fucking _kid!_" Sollux barked in Kenneth's face, eyes puffy red and cheeks ablaze. "_I'm her kid!_"

Kenneth lifted his hands in surrender. Sollux flinched, thinking he was going to get hit. But instead, Kenneth enveloped him in his arms.

"Did you know your father was clinically depressed?" Kenneth asked randomly. "Did you know he had schizophrenia?"

Sollux jerked and stared hard at the wall behind Kenneth.

"Huh?"

"They called me about the appointment."

"You knew?"

"I'm your legal guardian, even though you're eighteen. You're still dependent on me for the doctor bills. They had to ask. It's the law, Sollux."

"Wha-" Sollux began. "But don't you have to-"

"You signed the paper saying that any of your guardians had permission to know about the tests. If you don't remember, I think you must've had your mother in mind."

"…Well... what did you tell them?"

"I told them your father's condition. They knew what to look for when you had the tests taken before you even showed up. I made _sure_ they knew. I knew you wouldn't like the testing. So I made it as easy for you as possible."

"Why?" Sollux asked. "I didn't think you'd want-"

"Your father had a short attention span. Couldn't pay attention to any one thing for long periods of time. You know, that's what made him such a good pilot. There's a lot of things for a pilot to look at. Piloting stimulated him and helped with the depression. And you helped a lot too. If there was one thing he could pay attention to for a long period of time, it was you as a little baby boy, my dear."

Sollux blubbered, his tears dripping down his face.

"But it's what killed him. He was very sick, Sollux. Very, very sick. In the end, his short attention span is what killed him."

Unable to control himself, Sollux let out a great, shuddering sob and buried his face in his uncle's shoulder.

"Of course I wanted you to make that doctor's visit. I don't want you to let it progress as much as your father let it progress."

"So I have it?"

"What is that, my dear?"

"Do I have everything he had?"

Kenneth paused.

"I went to the psychiatrist's a week or so after you had already left home to come back here. I told them who I was, showed them the papers. Once they knew I was your blood relative and that you had signed for permission, they showed me the files. Said you had depression and bipolar disorder, they did. The schizophrenia… well, you have the genes."

Sollux sniffled and looked up.

"I'll always love you," Kenneth murmured. "I won't leave you. I know it doesn't sound like a good thing to you, but I'll always love you. I've loved you since the moment you were born, sweetheart."

Sollux didn't say anything, only dug his fingers into his uncle's sweater. Kenneth coughed a bit. Sollux felt the rattling in his uncle's chest.

"Are you okay?" Sollux asked when Kenneth's coughing dwindled.

"Never been better."

Sollux looked down.

"Is it more serious than you're making it out to be?" he whispered. Kenneth paused, then shook his head.

"You're sharp. But no, it's nothing serious. Just a little cough."

Sollux pinched his lips together.

"I actually… wanted to request something of you," Kenneth finally said. He pulled away and held Sollux by the elbows. He looked deeply into his eyes, searching them.

"Yeah?" Sollux asked, able to calmly look back at him.

"With your mother… making the bad decisions she has been making, I'm nervous about you living so far away from me. Money's been tight, and I don't know how much longer I can afford your tuition."

Sollux's blood ran cold.

"Meaning?"

"It's time to come home."


	38. Chapter 38

**I'm fine, guys. I think some of you misunderstood as well. If my parents had only discovered OHAC, it wouldn't be such a big deal. idgaf if they know about OHAC, because they told me I have a right to write about anything I please when I told them I write erotica-esque stuff.**

**No, they discovered the fact that I'm pansexual and in a relationship with my transsexual male boyfriend, Sai. That's what caused the meltdown. But again, their reaction pales in comparison to the reaction of other peoples' parents. They don't approve, but I'm not grounded or anything. The thing that upsets me the most is that they're not on my side, and they're my parents. Also, they're only just now noticing that I'm depressed, even though I've been begging them for years to take me to a doctor to get it checked out only for them to brush it off or tell me to get over it. I think they're 'finally realizing' that I'm depressed because they're looking for an excuse to make my relationship look bad. You can be rest assured, though, that I have this under control. I put my foot down and told them that, in exchange for complete honesty with them, they are to never go on me or Sai's or anyone else's tumblr again. They agreed, so everything's all good now.**

**As for them being on my side, seriously, don't worry about it. I know how to get back on my feet and I know that I could've gotten off a lot worse than I did. I know people have it worse off than I do, and at this point, I don't need to drag down anyone by being perma-upset about it. I am well aware that things will get better. **

**Just going to keep writing, and I'm not taking my nose off the grind until this all blows over and I get some acceptance in this damn community.**

**Anyway! I'm all good, so let's get back into OHAC mode. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 38]<p>

"Sol, I'm seriously startin' to worry…"

Sollux's head snapped up from his clasped hands that dangled between his legs as the door burst open to reveal a soaking wet Eridan.

"Eridan, what are you doing home?" Sollux asked instantly, jumping up from the couch and going to him. Eridan took off his jacket.

"You were worryin' me this mornin', so I just skipped my second class because I-" Eridan began. As Sollux approached him, his eyes looked over his shoulders and caught the second figure still sitting on the couch. He froze. "Who's that?"

"Eridan, go back to class," Sollux said lowly, walking straight up to Eridan and backing him towards the door. Eridan looked at him with panicked eyes, grabbing his wrists.

"Sol? Sollux, who is that? What's going on?" he asked, grabbing onto Sollux's waist.

"Is this your new roommate?"

Sollux stared at Eridan with wide eyes, shaking his head ever so slightly. Eridan's eyes flicked past his head and to something behind him.

"Yeah. He's my new roommate," Sollux said, turning around and blocking Eridan as best as he could with his body. His uncle approached, trying to get a peek past Sollux's shoulder.

"Is this your uncle?" Eridan breathed into Sollux's ear. Sollux didn't answer, but the way he shuddered and stiffened when Kenneth took another step forward was (apparently) just the answer Eridan needed to put two and two together.

Without warning, Eridan stepped out from behind Sollux, gently pushing him to the side to give him room. Puffing up his chest and standing straight up, he walked right up to Kenneth and stood, unmoving, before him.

"My name is Eridan Ampora," he said after a slight pause. He stuck out his hand for a handshake. "I'm the owner of this dorm."

Sollux thought he was going to faint.

Kenneth only took Eridan's hand and shook it.

"Thank you so much for taking care of my nephew," Kenneth said with a smile. "I have never heard of a friend who could be so generous."

"He's not my friend," Eridan said without a pause. "He's my boyfriend."

Everything went completely silent. Sollux wanted to jump out the window wall. As Sollux looked on with his fingers tangled in the hem of his shirt, Kenneth took Eridan by the chin and lifted his face ever so slightly. He turned his head back and forth, sizing him up. His thumb touched his lips.

"Don't touch me," Eridan murmured, his voice a low, authoritative rumble.

"Uncle-" Sollux began.

"Why didn't you tell me, my dear?" he asked. His voice was no longer kind, but had developed that cold undertone that Sollux had been trained to hear. "Isn't this a big thing that's important to tell me about?"

"I'm sorry," Sollux whispered, beginning to shake.

Kenneth burst away from Eridan without a second's notice, hands raised and face twisted into a look of rage that Sollux had seen many times in his life, both in real life and his nightmares. With a cry, Sollux jumped back and slammed into the front door, covering his face with his hands.

But the strike never came.

Because, when he looked up, Eridan was holding up Kenneth's wrist, his own face burning red with frightening fury that Sollux had _never_ seen in him before.

"I'll report you. Don't think for a mother fuckin' second that I won't report you. I'm not afraid of you," Eridan spat. Kenneth stared at him, frozen. Sollux put his head in his hands and slid down the door to the ground.

"Of course… of course."

He peeked through his fingers to see Uncle Kenneth relax and stare, wide-eyed, at the ground. He put his forehead in his palm.

"What was I thinking," Kenneth whispered. "I'm sorry."

Eridan slowly released his wrist and gave him a puzzled look as he composed himself. The rage that had been in his face a moment before was completely gone. As if it had never been there.

"I… was talking to Sollux about his tuition. I came here for a family day. It's just. A family day. Today," Kenneth said with broken sentences. Coughing meekly into his wrist, he turned away and hobbled back towards the couch.

Sollux saw Eridan's legs rushing towards him, and he flinched when he felt strong hands take him by either arm and help him to his feet.

He wanted to scream at Eridan for putting himself in so much danger, for standing up to the un-standup-able, for defending him. But all he could do was shake like a leaf in his arms, clutching the sleeves of his elbows as hard as he could.

"What's wrong with him?" Eridan hissed under his breath.

"Mood thwingth," Sollux croaked, nearly slumping in Eridan's arms again. "It'th alwayth been bad like thith. Alwayth. One thecond he'th… cuddling and kithhing me, and the next he'th beating the shit out of me, Eridan, I'm thcar-"

"Later," Eridan said, putting his finger to Sollux's lips to hush him. Sollux whimpered as Eridan took his hand, turned, and led him to the couch. Eridan directed Sollux to the adjacent armchair, and Eridan himself sat down beside Kenneth.

"Money has become extremely tight around here," Kenneth began gently, his face and voice showing virtually none of the rage he had displayed earlier. In fact, he had gone right back to the same tone he had used with Sollux at the beginning of his visit. "As you probably know, Sollux's mother has moved away. Without child support, and with my job going bankrupt, I can no longer afford to pay his college tuition. I'm sorry, my dear Eridan, but I will have to separate you two for the time being. But I will be sending him straight to a community college, one that I can better affo-"

"That won't be necessary," Eridan interrupted with a polite smile. "My stepmother owns _Betty Crocker_ corp., an' you could say we're pretty well-off. I am willin' to pay every penny of Sol's tuition if needed."

Sollux's eyes widened and he sat forward a little.

"Eridan…!"

Eridan hushed him with one finger held up in his face.

"Programmin' means a lot to him," he continued. "You should see the codes he comes up with. Every time I leave for class, I always end up comin' back to him sittin' right here on this couch, creatin' amazin' codes for websites, games, anythin' you can think of. He has a perfect GPA here, an' has made a lot of new friends. I think it would be in his best interest if he remains here. He means a lot to me."

"We can't impose on you any more than we already have," Kenneth said, shaking his head.

"The only one imposin' here is Sol. An' I intend to keep it that way."

"Surely your mother will be upset with you for paying two tuitions."

"My monthly allowance alone is enough to pay for three tuitions."

"Don't you want spending money?"

"I don't spend it on much. I have money leftover from last year."

"Wouldn't you like to spend it?"

"I don't spend frivolously, I have high standards for myself."

"Mr. Ampora."

"Mr. Captor."

Sollux watched in horror as the two most intimidating men on earth stared each other down, sharp eyes poring into the other's, trying to drill straight into the brains to turn it to mush.

"I will do whatever it takes to make sure Sol gets the kind of education he deserves," Eridan said lowly. "An' to be around the people he deserves to be around. Slowly, the mess _you've_ made of him is gettin' cleaned up because of the things he's learnin' and the people he's meetin'.

"I don't know what you've done to him," Eridan lied without a hitch. "But, I assure you, he is much safer here than with you or even any place else. A fuckin' Legend of Zelda sanctuary ain't as safe as this university."

Sollux was too shocked to snort at Eridan's stupid reference.

"Please, for once, do what's best for your fuckin' _nephew_. He is well-fed, kept warm, and livin' in an environment where he is loved and cherished the way he has deserved from the moment he was born. Do him a favor for once, sir. It's not imposin' on me any to take care of his tuition. I actually spend time with him on holidays. An' I'll love him the way love is _supposed_ to work."

"You dare have the audacity to tell me I don't love my son?" Kenneth suddenly shouted, making everyone jump. He stood from the couch, towering over Eridan. Eridan stood as well, and the way he was nearly a head and a half shorter made it look like a scene from David and Goliath. Sollux only brought his knees up to his chest and hid his face.

"He isn't your kid," Eridan said calmly. "He's your nephew. You are only a guardian, not the one laying the footsteps for Sol to follow."

"You are implying that you love him more than I d-"

"Your idea of love is abusin' a child from the day he is put into your care to the day he is thousands of miles away from you, an' when he's a legal adult no less? You can shout an' throw accusations around all you want, sir. But I'm confident when I say that the way I love him is much healthier than the way _you_ love him."

Sollux listened for a response, but a second later, the door slammed hard enough to shake the room. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he jumped. Instead of shying away, the hand wriggled itself under his chin and lifted his face.

Eridan hovered over him, looking mildly concerned, mildly triumphant for his feat.

"It's okay if I pay your tuition, right?" he asked. Sollux saw he was shaking hard, and a thin sheen of sweat had gathered on his upper lip and forehead. "I mean… it's your decision, not mine an' definitely not your uncle's, so-"

Sollux only reached up and cupped his neck in his hands, then dragged him forward to mash their foreheads together. He was breathing hard still, scared entirely out of his wits.

His uncle had never backed down before. Yet this hero, this saint who had taken his uncle down with a few well-placed insults hidden among polite words, was standing right before him.

"That wath thtraight from a movie thcene," Sollux babbled, refusing to let Eridan go. "Jethuth Chritht, you could've gotten hurt, you fucking moron."

"I know. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't love you so much."

"It wath kinda corny."

"I'm an actor. Half the shit I do is nothin' but corn."

"Shit."

Sollux grabbed him by the cheeks and kissed him so hard he thought he'd pass out, but Eridan only scooped him up and off of the armchair and turned them so he could sit on the couch with Sollux sitting on his lap. He cradled Sollux like a small child, holding him close and tight and calming down his rapid breathing with kisses to the forehead and cheeks.

"Sol."

"Yeah?"

"What did I tell you about me not wantin' to deal with weak people?"

Sollux looked up into Eridan's eyes, searching them. Eridan gazed right back down at him, his eyebrows beginning to come together.

"He's weak. Your uncle is gettin' old an' him holdin' onto you, whether it be physical or emotional, is gettin' weaker. It's time for you to cut the cord, because obviously no one was around to do it for you. It's harsh for me to say it, but you're basically lettin' him walk all over you as if you were his personal bitch to play with. You're stronger, Sol. Get it out of your head that you can't defend yourself against him."

Sollux looked down and just wrung his hands.

"You don't… really underthtand the abuthe I went through," Sollux said after a moment of thought. "You don't underthtand the relationship."

"Relationship? What fuckin' relationship, Sol?"

"He'th thtill my family," Sollux whimpered, covering his face with his hands.

"You call that scumbag your family?"

"He'th the only one who bothered to thtick around."

"He's abus-"

"I _know!_" Sollux snapped, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pulling. He gritted his teeth and breathed hard as he stared ahead of him with blank, wide eyes. "I can't explain it, okay? I know I hate him, but I… I just… I can't fucking explain it! Jutht thtop!"

Tears began to fall yet again. Sollux buried his face in Eridan's shoulder.

"I'm fucked up, I'm fucked up," Sollux chanted.

"You're not fucked up," Eridan disagreed. His nails went up and down Sollux's back, scratching where it itched. "I won't force you into anythin'. I don't understand how this relationship you're in works, but I won't force anythin' on you. So calm down, Sol. Please."

Sollux took a couple deep breaths and just curled up against Eridan, arms folded against his chest like an infant's. He took a good twenty minutes to calm his nerves and actually relax in Eridan's hold, and Eridan was okay with that. He just went on rubbing Sollux's stomach, his neck, his back, anything he could reach.

"I'm sorry it came to that. You having to pay my tuition and shit," Sollux finally said, nestling into his boyfriend and hooking his hand on his opposite shoulder. He looked up into his eyes. "I'm… yeah, just really sorry."

"It's not a problem at all, Sol. Like I said, my monthly allowance is… _ungodly_. It's actually kinda embarrassin'."

"I see."

They sat in silence, and Sollux mulled over the whole situation in his head, scratching at the stubble on the underside of his chin.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Eridan asked after a moment. Sollux shook his head.

"Nothing. I'm still in shock about Kenneth actually backing down."

"He's old, Sol. Not the same guy who did those things to you ten years ago."

Sollux nodded absently, settling. He was only startled again when Eridan lifted him and set his ass down right beside of his thigh instead of directly on top of it.

"What was that for?"

"Your bony ass is diggin' into my…" Eridan began huffily. His voice faltered and faded, however, when he looked up and their noses were almost touching. "…thighs."

They stared stupidly at each other for a while, barely even breathing. Sollux was hit with a sudden, overwhelming sensation in his abdomen, and there was a moment when their eyes connected and they both felt something stir.

Eridan made the first move, kissing the side of Sollux's mouth. Without hesitating, Sollux wrapped his arms around Eridan's neck and pulled him in close for a much more intimate kiss. Eridan grabbed the top of his thigh and squeezed, making Sollux gasp and jolt in his hold. Sollux dragged him down so he could rest his head on the armrest. Eridan pressed him into it, his hand stroking his thigh up and down until it scooped under it so he could rub the underside.

When they pulled away to gasp for air, Eridan gave Sollux a look. Sollux only looked away, but Eridan persistently trailed his hand up to cup the definite bulge in his pants.

"Not in this position," Sollux whispered, reaching down to push Eridan's wrist. Eridan's eyebrows twitched a bit.

"But you want it?"

"Yeah. Not in this position."

"Sol, are you ever gonna give me a chance to actually take care of _you_ for a change? You were kinda okay with it this mornin'."

"That's… I told you it differs throughout the day."

"…Sol, just relax."

Sollux fisted a handful of Eridan's shirt as Eridan began palming him through his jeans, the tips of his fingers dipping lower and lower between his legs with each pass.

Whining, Sollux curled his toes against the couch and folded in on himself. He felt Eridan begin to unbuckle his belt, and Sollux's hand flew down again.

"Eridan, I really can't," he croaked. Eridan let out a sigh above him.

"Alright. Sorry."

They were quiet.

"Things are goin' to get complicated in this relationship if you can't trust me to do somethin' so trivial as jerkin' you off," Eridan grumbled. Sollux put his head in his hand.

"I know."

"I'm not _him_. Bottomin' doesn't always equate to 'the one gettin' hurt'. An' it kinda hurts my feelin's that you associate bottomin' to me with bottomin' to him."

"I'm trying really hard."

"I know you are. An' I know it's been a long day for you. So let's just call it a night. Let's make some lunch, okay?"

"I'm sorry, Eridan."

Eridan didn't respond, instead wriggling out from underneath Sollux and standing. He stretched and went around the back of the couch to make his way to the kitchenette. Sollux stayed where he was, not bothering to even sit up. He covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow.

_Fuck up. You are a lousy fuck up._

"Sol? You comin'?"

He still didn't move. He just stayed right where he was, until he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. Resurfacing from his elbow, he found himself face to face with Eridan, who had knelt beside him. Giving Sollux a sympathetic smile, he leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"Stop fuckin' mopin'. Jesus Christ, you're probably the biggest fuckin' worrywart on the planet."

"Sorry."

"Quit it," Eridan snapped, but his actions betrayed his voice when he leaned in yet again to press another kiss to Sollux's lips. "Now are you goin' to help me or what?"

"Do you still love me?"

Eridan stared at Sollux for a moment.

"Are you fuckin' dumb? Of course I do."

"Okay."

"Bold question for someone who hasn't even said 'I love you' to me yet."

"Sorry."

"Dear Cod, quit apologizin', stand up, an' come help me in the kitchen."

With that, Eridan stood, grabbed Sollux by the wrist, and forced him to stand up. Sollux wasn't really used to getting back on his feet after an encounter with his uncle.

It was kind of nice.


	39. Chapter 39

**Sorry if there is an abundance of typos in this one. I was with family in Chicago for the weekend and I wasn't in a very good environment for reading! I will go back through in a bit for more revisions. Sorry ahead of time!**

* * *

><p>[Chapter 39]<p>

Two days later, when monthly tuition money was due, Sollux got a phone call to remind him that he was moved off of a dependant financial plan to an independent one. They spoke as if he had known in the first place. He pretended that he did.

Eridan had silently handed him a blank check. He had sat down across from Sollux at the kitchen table. Had steepled his fingers, stared at him.

"Eridan, I really…"

"I know. Even if somethin' happens between us, I'll make sure your tuition is paid. I swear."

"If something happens, you're not fucking paying for shit, and you know it. I'm not going to accept money from you if-"

"You think me givin' you money is about love? This is a friendship thing, Sol. Sign the fuckin' check."

It was like signing his heart away to Eridan, but as soon as the discomfort of it all passed, Sollux had been able to look up with a smile. He knew they were both thinking the same thing.

It was a happy day.

Until Sollux got a text from an unknown number a day later.

_is this sollux?_

_yeah who ii2 thii2_

_its john. um… i know this is kinda weird but dave needs you_

_dave? ii2 2omethiing wrong_

_a family member passed away and he says he really needs you right now!_

* * *

><p>"Dave? Dave, it's me, open up, bro," Sollux called, lightly rapping on the door to Dave and John's dorm. He was somewhat confused about the whole thing. Sure, he had been kinda concerned about Dave since him and John broke up, but he hadn't gone out of his way to see them. But he assumed that everything had been okay because it was a completely friendly and mutual breakup. Apparently the two got along like bros a lot better than they got along as boyfriends, and things had gone completely back to normal between them. Word around the street was that Dave had a bit of a crush on Sollux's old neighbor girl, Jade.<p>

He had been taken aback by the rumor at first, but then he remembered that Dave never said he was _gay_. More like everythingsexual.

But if that didn't upset Dave enough to need Sollux to be with him, then Sollux could only imagine how upset he was no-

The door swung open to reveal a tall, dark, and handsome man with glasses. He wore a white shirt with a green skull on front that clung to his torso and showcased his impressive abs and chest. Over it, he wore a thin moss green cardigan. He also wore a pair of khaki shorts, which revealed extremely hairy, muscled legs and heavy work boots.

In any other situation, Sollux could've swooned with how hot this guy was, but all he could focus on was Dave's bed, where Dave was sitting between John and some other guy that looked like an _exact_ copy of Dave, yet with a longer, narrower face and a slimmer, more fragile-looking body. That and the guy wore weird ass pointy anime shades and his platinum blonde, near-white hair was just a tad more ridiculous and pointy than Dave's.

"Dave, Sollux is here," John said. Dave shook John's arm from around his shoulders and wriggled his knee out of the other guy's comforting hand. With his head down, Dave whipped off his shades, threw them dramatically away from him, then went straight up to Sollux and grabbed his face between both hands.

Before Sollux could stop or react at all, Dave dragged him down and kissed him hard. Sollux only flailed in a weird position as he stared, wide-eyed, at Dave's other guy friend. He only stared right back (or at least Sollux thought so, he couldn't see much past the shades).

And then there was Eridan.

"_Hey!_ The fuck do you think you're doin'?"

Someone grabbed Sollux's arm and he was pulled roughly away from Dave. Eridan held him possessively, glaring daggers at his new opponent.

"You settled down. Sweet, can't wait to attend the wedding," Dave said, deadpan. His voice sounded a bit duller than usual. "Never thought you'd be the one to want any ass besides Vantas's."

John slapped his forehead with his hand. The other guy stood.

"Yes, very nice. We're all a bunch of gays shoved into one room. If we could please just move this along."

"Bloody…" said the big guy who opened the door as he carded his fingers through the mess of hair on his head. He had a thick Australian accent. "Strider, is this what it's always like in big cities?"

"No," Dave's apparent brother or parent said. Sollux could practically see him rolling his eyes behind his shades. "Dave's just acting like a little shit about this whole thing, like he always does."

In a flash of movement, Dave whirled away from Sollux and something whistled through the air. Dirk moved his head slightly to the side and crossed his arms as Dave's iPhone clattered against the wall behind him and crashed to the floor.

"Fuck off, Dirk," Dave snapped. "I didn't fucking ask you to be here anyway."

"Someone had to tell you. And I don't appreciate you being such a douche about it. And in front of your _friends_, too. Tsk tsk."

The angry look on Dave's face instantly faded, but the hurt in his eyes remained. Dirk frowned at him.

"Shit, man, what happened?" Sollux finally asked, placating Eridan with a pat on the rump that said 'I'll explain later'. Eridan pouted and folded his arms over his chest.

"I apologize, I have not formally introduced myself," Dirk said after a slight pause. He stood and went to Sollux. He stuck out his hand. "Dirk Strider. Middle brother. Bisexual. Married at a fucking pony farm two years ago."

Sollux hesitantly took the guy's fingerless-gloved hand.

"Um, hi," he said.

"The big guy's my teary, blushing bride, Jake English. We don't do the whole 'marital' name thing. Although I do enjoy introducing him as snuggly bear sometimes. Because that's what he is. A mother fucking snuggly bear."

Dirk finally released Sollux's hand. Jesus Christ, the guy rambled like Kanaya. Like he had lived alone his whole life on the top floor of some high rise. Except the high rise was in the middle of the God damn ocean or something. Sollux wondered if he ever talked to himself. Or to dolls.

But he was ridiculously attractive to Sollux. He was a little shorter than him. About as thin as him. His black wifebeater hugged his body, and Sollux wondered if Dirk and Jake were some traveling modeling husbands.

They probably were.

His voice was smooth as silk, low. His lips barely moved when he spoke. Behind his shades, his eyes were big and his eyelashes long. His skin was fair, pale, and flawless.

An old reflex kicked in, and Sollux felt the urge to ask for his number.

"I'm Sollux Captor. This is… my boyfriend, Eridan Ampora. I'm… bi too," Sollux lied, still a bit uncomfortable with admitting he was gay. Dirk nodded sagely.

"Us non-hets gotta stick together, huh?" Dirk said in a forced southern accent. Then, he stopped and sighed. "Well, I hate to put a downer on this jolly gay brigade, but Jakey-poo and I dropped some massive shit on my lil' bro."

Jake reached under his chair and pulled out what looked like a package wrapped in an American flag.

Oh shit. No, that was a folded-up American flag.

"Uh…" Dirk trailed off with a sigh. Now his face was solemn, as if simply seeing the flag had weakened him. "Big Bro Strider. Passed away last week during a mission in the Middle East. Um…"

Dirk nodded a little and reached behind his head to scratch his neck.

"Excuse the uh… the bullshit. It's the Strider way of dealing with wack shit like this," Dirk said after a while. He finally reached up and slid his glasses off. Sollux barely knew him, but he was surprised. Dave only took his glasses off under very special circumstances. Such as when Sollux was around. But Dirk? He seemed like he would be even less likely to take them off.

Jake must have sensed the urgency, because he put the flag down and jumped to his feet to go to Dirk and slip an arm behind his back. Dirk responded with a tired, half-assed smirk, nestling into Jake's side and crossing his arms.

"So that's the story, I guess. Kid wanted you here, apparently."

Quite suddenly, Dave slumped to the floor and just lied there in the middle of all of them, his face down. Dirk rolled his eyes, which Sollux observed to be a brilliant shade of tangerine orange. He assumed it was the weird albino shit that went on in the Strider family. He was pretty sure it wasn't actually albinism. Something weird, though.

"Lil' bro," he said, surprisingly stern.

"I'm fine," Dave said, his voice muffled. "Just chillin' on the floor. No big deal, man."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Dirk groaned, tipping his head back against Jake's pec. "Do you see the shit I used to have to deal with? All this evasive bullshit. Both Big Bro and Lil' Bro were like this. Emotionless like a couple of cheapass robots. At least I have some fuckin' personality in this family."

Jake only gave him a sympathetic smile.

Sollux ignored Dirk's ramblings and wiggled out of Eridan's grasp. Folding his legs as he lowered himself on the floor, he reached out and put his hand on Dave's shoulder.

"Hey, dude?"

"What?"

"You're being totally uncool right now."

"Trust me, I'm as awesome as I can get in this situation, man. If I were to lift my glorious head, reveal my lady-swooning, beautiful face, it'd get all kinds of uncool in here. Gonna just take a hit for the team and stay down here, thank you very much."

"You mean you'll cry if you look up," Sollux said softly. Dave was silent.

For a minute.

For five minutes.

Then a huge, wet, completely unironic snuffle. His hand slid across the carpet to knot in his hair and pull.

"_Shit_, man," he swore, his voice thick with emotion.

"Fuck. You always were the melodramatic one," Dirk sighed. He stepped forward and stooped down to help Dave up, only to stumble back when his younger brother buried his face in his shoulder and hugged him tight. Dirk looked surprised for a moment, but when the youngest Strider let out a tiny sob and gripped his brother harder, he only smiled a little and patted his back.

Eridan helped Sollux to his feet, strangely silent.

"There, there, lil' man. S'all good. Don't get your baby boogers on my shirt."

Dave snuffled again and purposefully wiped his nose all over Dirk's shirt. Dirk smacked the top of his head but didn't push him away.

"Thanks, Captor," Dirk said after a moment. "'Preciate it."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Sollux murmured. Dirk shook his head.

"Bro wouldn't have wanted us to mourn. Would've wanted us to keep our heads up and keep on truckin'. Life ain't always a fairytale, kiddos, he used to say. So you have to make the best of what you got. 'Preciate the people in your life who love you. Realize that you could have it worse and that you're lucky you're alive when people are out there fighting for you and your life. Not exactly the best thing to say to his two kid brothers who were on the verge of starvation and depressed as shit and working and driving with fake licenses. We never seemed to catch a break.

"But the fucker kept us moving forward, that's for sure. Laid the smack down when we tried to give up. Put me and Dave in college. Made sure we got shit done and went somewhere in life. Accepted every curveball, me being bi. Dave having a thing for a buddy of his. Fought wars alongside Jake here. Introduced us. Made sure me and Dave's life were good. Made sure me and Jake lived in a place where we could get a marriage license. Paid for the fucking wedding. Paid Dave's college tuition with his army status. When he was sure we were fucking set, he gave his life for us."

"You're making him sound like he was a fucking saint. He was a huge insufferable creepy prick," Dave mumbled. Dirk only ruffled his hair.

"You'll understand when you're older, lil' man. The heroes in life ain't always flawless sons and daughters of the Big Man in the sky."

Eridan and Sollux, at some point, had taken hands and were standing shamelessly before Jake and the Striders. Jake glanced down at their joined hands and grinned.

"Enjoy it, mates," he said cheerfully with a big, cheesy wink. "When blokes tell you no, that isn't right, you throw that malarkey right back in their face. Do what makes you happy, and it'll be right. Trust this ol' boy."

Jake pinched Dirk's hip and Dirk snorted, sliding his shades back onto his face as Dave detached from him and meandered around the room in search of his own pair.

"Obviously since you're a bro of Dave's, you're welcome to come to the funeral with us. And yes, 'course we're throwing one. Guy deserves a mother fucking parade with elephants and everything."

"I'm not sure if that's the purpose of funerals, mate," Jake chuckled, rubbing Dirk's back. Dirk only gave him a shiteating grin and shrugged.

"Nah man, Bro never played by the rules. He'd want us to throw a sick party."

"A corpse party," Dave put in. Dirk barked out a loud laugh, something that Sollux was sure he didn't do often, and slapped Dave on the back.

"Yeah, a corpse party. He'd pick that shit right up!"

* * *

><p>"Whatcha thinkin' about?"<p>

Sollux looked up from his crossed arms as Eridan leaned over the back of the couch. They had gotten back to their dorm a while ago, heavy with some deep shit that Dirk had preached (the guy really had a knack for talking on and on and on, Sollux seriously wondered if he fucking talked to himself). They decided to skip class that day.

When he didn't get an answer, Eridan fluttered his fingers over the side of Sollux's neck. He pressed a kiss there a second later.

"Sol?"

"Marriage."

Eridan froze completely, his hands stopped right on top of Sollux's pecs (he swore they were still classified as pecs, but Eridan had been accusing him of man boobs lately).

Sollux was reminded of this when, after a few seconds of stunned silence, Eridan kneaded his chest. Sollux only laughed and batted his hands away.

"Marriage, huh?" Eridan asked. He came around to the front of the couch and sat down. He leaned against Sollux and bumped their knees together.

"Yeah. Just like… how it works for gay guys. Apparently it worked for Dave's brother and fucking Hulk Hogan."

"You mean Jake," Eridan snorted. "An' speakin' of Dave… I'm over it, but what was the whole… kissin' thing about?"

"It's his weird ass 'ironic' greeting or something."

"He knows he's usin' the word 'ironic' out of context, right?"

"Oh he knows."

"Oh. Welp."

"Anyway, yeah," Sollux continued. "Nothing for you to feel threatened by. We used to have a thing, but it's a weird polyamorous sexuality thing with him. He just likes sex and kissing. And nothing's wrong with that."

"People can like what they please, I guess."

"Thanks for not flying off the deep end, babe," Sollux sighed. He lifted an arm to put it around Eridan's shoulders so they could cuddle. "I was a little nervous about it."

"I trust you. I figured it was somethin' you couldn't control."

Sollux said nothing, and instead he pulled Eridan in to kiss his forehead. Eridan murmured something about slobber, but he snuggled in a bit more.

"So anyway… marriage?" Eridan asked. He tried to be nonchalant, but Sollux knew he was a little tense with the question.

"I dunno. I guess it's interesting. Not something that I expected to be thinking about now back when I was seventeen. But I'm legal now, apparently? I can get married and shit? It's all kinda surreal to me."

"Do you ever want to get married?"

"As long as it lasts, then yeah. I do," Sollux answered. He tipped his head back against the couch's headrest.

"So basically if you find 'the one' or whatever?"

"Mhm."

"Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Eridan probed. Sollux nodded.

"Yeah."

"How do you know when you've found that person, Sol?"

"I guess I just knew."

"That's past tense."

"Finally picking up on the hint, Ampora?"

They didn't look at each other or speak. Just continued to casually sit on the couch. Sollux knew Eridan was flushing deep scarlet red. He also knew that Eridan knew that he himself was blushing just as hard.

"Sol?"

"Mm?"

"I love you."

Sollux pulled Eridan in tight.

"I know you do," he responded. Eridan slumped.

"Damn. Thought I'd get you that time," he joked. Sollux knew part of it wasn't a joke.

"For our wedding, I want everything to be fucking bee-themed," Sollux said, changing the topic to avoid further dejecting Eridan. Eridan snorted out loud.

"No way. Ocean-themed. Because our love is as pure as the deep blue sea."

"Fuck no. Nothing says two gay men getting married than bees. This ain't no _birds_ and the bees shit, this is just bees and the bees."

"You're a moron."

"You love me."

"Not anymore, I changed my fuckin' mind."

Sollux rolled over and latched onto Eridan's neck. Instead of kissing or biting like he knew Eridan expected, he blew a huge, wet raspberry that made Eridan squawk at him and punch him in the shoulder so hard that he jumped back.

"Sol?" Eridan asked once they flopped back on the couch cushions all wrapped up in each other. Sollux looked up at him, hands behind his head.

"Yeah?"

Eridan propped his chin up on his folded elbows.

"What do you think about adoption?"

Shit.

Sollux knew exactly where this was going. He had dreaded this conversation with Eridan ever since the moment they had gotten serious.

"I don't want kids."

Absolute silence.

"Why the hell not?" Eridan finally asked, giving him an incredulous look. "Kids are… Sol, c'mon, you're jokin', right?"

"No. Kids means absolute commitment and patience, and commitment and constant patience means pressure. Pressure leads to fighting, fighting leads to splitting up. People get selfish and the importance of kids is forgotten. Even if that doesn't end up happening… well, God forbid if one of us ends up getting killed? And then the one who's still alive ends up being overwhelmed with grief and that person stops giving a shit about the kid and leaves them with someone they know _absolutely nothing about!_"

Sollux ended in a shout and he didn't mean to. Eridan just stared at him, his face completely impassive. His pupils searched Sollux's.

"I can't put a fucking _kid_ through that bullshit. Nobody fucking deserves it," Sollux muttered. He shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"Sol," Eridan said,, sitting up with his brows furrowed. "I love you, but it's been my dream for a long time to have a family. Did you know about the thousands of children who are orphaned in the United States alone? An' did you know about the millions worldwide? Kids who need homes an' parents who will love them an' take care of them?"

"You can't adopt every kid in the world!"

"It doesn't matter how small it is as long as I make a difference!"

"_Adoption isn't for the gays!_"

Eridan looked shocked like he had been slapped. Sollux scowled back at him.

"It doesn't work as easily as you think it will. This isn't some fucking game we're talking about. We can't just walk into an orphanage and pick up a kid to take home. There'll be paperwork to do, shit to sign, people to contact. So many people. And then we're going to get a letter in the mail and there's going to be a big fat rejection stamped all over it. It's going to break your heart, and despite the fact that you're making me feel like a huge douche right now, it's going to break my heart, too. It's a fucking disaster waiting to happen, because we were doomed the second we were born. We like cock, and this is our punishment. I want to leave it at marriage, if we ever even make it that far."

Eridan buried his head in his hands. Sollux awkwardly slid out from underneath Eridan and stood up, heaving a big sigh and running a hand through his hair. Pocketing his free hand, he paced a bit until he decided to sit down on the armrest of the couch, his back to Eridan.

"I don't want to talk about marriage anymore. It's too difficult to think about. Fuck, I'm not ready for this shit. I'm only nineteen."

"I wasn't fuckin' tryin' to make it a deep discussion! I was just playin' around!"

"Fuck, I know, I'm sorry. Let's just drop it, okay?"

They were quiet for a long time.

"I'm sick of givin' up, Sol. I'm sick of losin' hope after only one person gets me down. I used to run away from my problems an' I used to do some bad shit because of it. I've fucked up so many relationships because I gave up on so many things. I've grown up a lot since I met you, just like you've grown up a lot since you've met me. An' I'll just have you know that this is the first time things have ever gone my way. This is the first time I've been truly happy. I found a reason to have hope again."

"The only thing they care about is whether or not one of us has a vagina. That's all they fucking care about, Eridan," Sollux snapped.

"There are gay and lesbian couples out there who have adopted."

"Who says we won't be rejected? Our health shit is going to come into play, too. With me having all of this diagnosed shit on me, they definitely won't even let us near. And I don't even want kids, Eridan!"

"We can try."

"Eridan."

"We can fuckin' try."

Sollux whirled around.

"Conversation _over_!" he barked, waving his hands in an angry gesture. Eridan just glowered at him. Sollux shook his head. Turning away from Eridan, he headed for the door.

"Where the hell are you goin'?"

"I'm going out. I'm just going to… I don't know, hang out somewhere. I need to take a breather."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know, Eridan. Jesus. Um… just… don't wait up."

"I love you."

Sollux sighed and paused at the door, already in his shoes and halfway in his jacket. He looked over his shoulder.

"I know, baby. I just need a few drinks, okay?"

Eridan didn't answer, so Sollux stepped out the door.

He shut his eyes and leaned against it, cursing softly to himself.

They disagreed on more things than he thought.


	40. Chapter 40

**SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Family shit, school shit, work shit, etc. Hopefully things will be faster from now on!**

[Chapter 40]

Sollux found himself at a bar a little while later, seated comfortably in a bar stool. Behind him, the room bumped and throbbed with fast-paced dance music, and the floor was crowded with rowdy patrons of all shapes and sizes.

It had been easy to get a drink despite not being twenty-one. In that particular part of town, and considering how busy the place was, nobody gave two shits about who drank what and how old anyone was. As long as he had money to dish out (Eridan was always finding new ways to sneak twenty dollar bills in Sollux's pants pockets every few days or so), they would give him drinks.

So Sollux sat there with his pint of beer, not really wanting to get wasted. A couple times girls approached him asking him out to the crude dance floor (just a wooden floor with the tables and chairs pushed off to the sides), and although he was flattered, he turned them down without hesitation.

He eyed a nearby male patron and just watched him over the top of his beer glass. He was handsome, with a gaunt face and sandy blonde hair. He looked like he was in his early twenties maybe. Sollux kept his eyes on him for a while, crossing his legs under the bar and bringing his elbows up onto the counter.

The other guy glanced over and caught his eye. Sollux cocked one eyebrow. The other guy gave him a onceover and stood from his barstool.

Sollux moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue, turning partway in his stool as he looked down at his beer glass. His heart kind of flip-flopped. _What_, exactly, was he doing? He basically just asked another guy if he wanted to have a tongue duel. Sollux hunched his shoulders in guilt.

Sollux felt the other guy's presence beside him and he turned his face, eyes already glazed over ever so slightly and his lips parted. The guy grabbed his arm and leaned in.

"What do you think you're looking at, faggot?" he snarled in Sollux's ear. Sollux stared over his shoulder for a minute, surprised, before his eyelids lowered in a look of blatant indifference.

"Sorry. Wrong person," Sollux muttered.

"Do you wanna fucking go, man? I'll fuck you up right here, man. I can take you, you little pussy."

"No," Sollux sighed, pulling out of the guy's hold and turning away from him. "I thought you were someone else."

"I like chicks, man. You think I'm a fucking faggot?"

"No."

"Then keep your eyes to yourself, you piece of shit."

When Sollux didn't turn to answer or even acknowledge him, he felt a powerful hand shove him hard on the back, nearly slamming his head into the bar. Sollux steadied himself, however, bracing himself for another blow. However, none came, and he let out a tiny snort as his lips curled back into a disbelieving smirk.

However, the grip he had on his beer glass handle had tightened so much that his knuckles were white and clammy. There was a slight quiver in his chin.

Fear or rage, fear or rage? As if it mattered anymore.

Eridan would've had a complete meltdown. Would've withdrawn into himself, would've been too embarrassed to look up for the rest of the evening. Sollux pinched his lips together. The bullies at their own college campus hadn't touched him yet that school year, so perhaps Eridan's 'hazing' was over?

Sollux doubted it.

A half hour later, when Sollux was successfully buzzed and feeling a little more than warm in the tummy, he stepped out of the bar with his hands in their usual places in his pants pockets. He had to focus a little more than usual to walk in a completely normal fashion, but he didn't have too much trouble.

He was concentrating enough on the way that he walked that he didn't notice the shadow lurking around the corner, fluctuating slightly as it rocked back and forth on the spot.

He sure as hell noticed when it was on top of him, however. Without warning, a hand grabbed him by the back of the collar and shoved him into the wall of a narrow alley. When Sollux registered what happened, he looked up and recognized the face of the sandy blonde-haired man. Up close and without the distorting strobe lights in his face, he wasn't as attractive as Sollux had thought.

"The shit you pulled back there was fucked up," he growled. "Who the fuck do you think you are, man? Blowing me off when I was fucking talking to you?"

"Look, dude, I thought you were someone els-" Sollux began. The guy jostled him, hard, and his glasses were knocked off his face.

"_You're a sick fucking faggot!_" he bellowed in Sollux's face, his breath reeking of alcohol. Now slightly nervous, Sollux grabbed his wrists and tried to push him away.

But apparently he didn't have to, because a second later, a short streak of red blasted by so fast that he didn't even catch the face of it. It barreled into Sollux's assailant like a fucking boulder and slammed him to the ground in an instant. Sollux watched in horror as the figure (still a tad blurry) began violently kicking the other guy in the side.

"Fuck! You! You! Piece! Of! _Shit!_" a female voice shrieked, every syllable accented with a well-aimed kick. The guy yelped and writhed all over the ground like a wounded animal. Then, she straddled the guy and hauled his torso partway up by the collar so she could land a punch (complete with the sickening _crack_ of his nose) on his face and knock his head back into the ground.

And with that, the guy scrambled to his feet and sprinted away, his hands over his probably broken nose.

Sollux tried to blink the blurriness out of his eyes, but being near-sighted didn't help him see his savior any better. However, she turned and went to him. Before she got there, she stooped down and picked up his glasses off the ground. Before she could hand them to him, there was a piercing, high-pitched laugh from a distance. Sollux swiveled his head and saw nothing but a blurred blob of black clothing and a huge head of platinum blonde hair.

"Alright, Megido! That was the sickest shit I've ever seen! Damn! I was about to fly in there myself to come to your rescue, but holy shit I'm glad I stayed back!"

There was a laugh, a gentler one.

"Thanks, Vriska."

"Vriska?" Sollux asked, looking around blindly.

"Oh! Sollux, I forgot about your glasses. Sorry. Here."

Soft fingertips brushed past his temples as they placed his glasses delicately on his face. Slowly, things came back into focus, and the first thing he saw was the freckled, ginger-haloed face of Aradia.

"Aradia!" Sollux practically squealed, both surprised and happy to see her. He didn't even care that his voice cracked. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your _butt_, Mister!" Aradia laughed, breaking into a wide grin. "It's a good thing you had us ladies to come save your scrawny ass. You just about got annihilated!"

Sollux looked over at Vriska and gave her a small, grateful wave. Vriska tossed her hair and snorted.

"Don't look at me, dude. I was just a bystander."

"God, Aradia, it's been so long," Sollux said. He turned back to Aradia.

"A whole year now, huh?" Aradia asked. Sollux nodded. "Damn. What an unlucky coincidence. Good thing I made that douche pay for what he did! Are you okay?"

"He was all talk, dude," Sollux assured. "My shirt's a little stretched but that's it."

"Oh, that's good. Well…" Aradia trailed off. She looked over at Vriska. Vriska only smirked a little.

"I see how it is, Megido. Ditching your own roommate for some beanpole, huh?"

"Oh come on, I have to deal with you every _day_," Aradia whined. Vriska laughed that raspy laugh of hers again.

"Psh, I was just kidding, stupid. Hey, have fun without me! I'm gonna go have a good fucking time!"

With that, Vriska turned and let out a whoop and a holler, lifting up one heavily-bejeweled hand with her middle finger on full display. She walked down the sidewalk like that, her little cocktail dress hugging her hips and her huge heels clacking down the cement.

When they were alone, Aradia turned back to Sollux. She was just like he remembered her: ginger hair that was just dark and rich enough to look just as fabulous as any other hair color, and clothes that were bright and flattering on her slightly pudgy body. The only thing that changed was that she looked significantly less weak and whiny than she was the year prior. There was a new spark of life in her eyes that Sollux didn't remember from the Aradia he knew back then.

"Thanks for beating the shit out of that guy, but I could've held my own without some _girl's_ help," Sollux teased. Aradia playfully smacked Sollux's shoulder.

"Nah, you're like a walking noodle. Noodle-boy."

Sollux smiled softly and put his hands back in his pockets.

"You look beautiful, Aradia," he complimented without thinking too much of it. Aradia blew a lock of hair out of her face.

"You too," she said with a wink. Sollux chuckled and they both stood there awkwardly for a moment, shuffling back and forth on their feet.

Aradia was the first to speak up.

"So… wanna walk?" she suggested, backing away from Sollux and back towards the sidewalk. She jerked her thumbs in a direction _away_ from the alley. Sollux shrugged.

"Sure."

They quietly walked side by side, playing a little bit by matching the length of their strides and then stepping differently to try and screw the other up. Their aimless stepping took them to a small campus park for the private downtown college. There, they went together to the fountain in the center, where water fell down each tier in cascading waterfalls that were illuminated by the multicolored lights on the bottom.

Of course, being the adventurous girl that she was, Aradia climbed up onto the edge of the fountain (just big enough for someone to use as a relaxing bench). She extended her arms out on either side of her for balance, even though she didn't really need it at all.

And regardless of that, Sollux even took her hand like the proper gentleman that he was. She hummed a tuneless melody under her breath, something that sounded like the Indiana Jones theme song, as Sollux walked her around and around the fountain.

It was deeply romantic for some unknown reason. Past the point of being platonic, but not enough for them to be two people _in_ love.

Well.

Sollux was in love with her in a whole different way, from the way her hair fell on her shoulders to the way she carried herself, he was in love. Not a kissing type of 'in-love'. Just someone for whom he had truly had feelings once upon a time, despite him liking men. Someone who was now waltzing back into his life as if she had belonged there from the very beginning. It was dream-like, really. As if, in some alternate universe, somewhere far away, Sollux would've been head over heels in totally non-platonic love for her. Would've acted on it. Would've done what he could to keep her as his.

"I'm sorry things ended the way they did," Sollux said after a while. Aradia's humming faded and came to a stop. She continued to walk around the fountain, squeezing Sollux's hand.

"I'm sorry, too. I was selfish."

"Not you. Never you," Sollux disagreed. "I made you feel alone in a relationship that was always one-sided."

"Always one-sided?" Aradia asked. Her next step on the fountain wavered a bit. "What do you mean?"

"I'm gay," Sollux admitted. Everything went silent. "I have been for a while now. I dated girls to make it look like I was bisexual."

Aradia finally slowed and came to a stop before turning and sitting down on the edge of the fountain. Sollux sat down beside her. His hand never left hers.

"I'm so sorry, Aradia," Sollux murmured over the splashing of falling water behind them. Aradia shook her head.

"Sollux, don't apologize. It's okay. It's been okay for a long time now. It was our freshman year. We're all stupid as freshmen. The older we get, the more we realize that, and the more we can learn from it, right?" Aradia asked, bumping her shoulder against Sollux's. Sollux sighed.

"Yeah. I still feel like a dick, though."

"Whatever, Sollux, that was a long time ago and we're new people now. Also, I cheated on you, remember? We're definitely even."

Sollux thought for a moment before giving in and nodding his head.

"I guess you're right."

They sat quietly, just holding hands and looking blankly out at the park.

"So…? Anyone you've got your sights on?" Aradia asked after a while, her tone suggestive. She turned to Sollux and wiggled her eyebrows. Shrugging, Sollux smiled.

"Yeah… got a boyfriend. We've been together a little over a half a year."

"Whoa damn," Aradia whistled. "I never really saw you as someone who would settle down with any one person."

"I get that a lot," Sollux chuckled. He looked up at the sky. "Yup, he's a keeper."

"Oh Sollux, you cutie patootie!" Aradia mock-squealed, reaching up to pinch Sollux's cheek and tug. Sollux whined in protest.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just the epitome of adorable," Sollux grumbled, but he squeezed Aradia's hand anyway. "Thanks."

"Of course. So who is he?"

"Ever heard of Eridan Ampora?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Well, he's a douche for starters," Sollux began, listing traits off on his fingers as he nibbled the inside of his cheek. "He's tall. Oh, and he has a sweet ass. Real nice and big and round."

"You and your asses," Aradia sighed. "You always were an ass man. I would know, since you used to _grab mine_ all the time."

"Hey, gay or not, I know a nice ass when I see one," Sollux declared.

"Please. You like anything with two cheeks and a crack," Aradia quipped.

"Don't hate. I'll have you know I _loved_ your ass. It was enough to make my ass sensors go off. And by ass sensors, I mean my dick."

"Jesus Christ, Sollux."

"Too much?"

"Just shut your mouth. Anyway, I don't think the shape of someone's ass is a memorable… trait of someone's. Any other information?" Aradia asked. Sollux scoffed.

"Welp… he has bright purple gay bangs."

"Ohhhhh!" Aradia cried. "Yeah! I've seen him around. Well, good for you, Sollux! He's cute."

"Cute as a cactus," Sollux mumbled. Aradia frowned.

"You guys okay? Did you get in a fight or something?"

Sollux shrugged and squinted a bit in thought.

"Ehhh… I guess you could call it that. It was more of a disagreement, though. Basically we don't agree on a bunch of really important shit that might fuck up our relationship later on," Sollux explained. He lowered his voice. "Like… marriage. And adoption."

"Whoa, holy shit," Aradia said, eyebrows shooting up. "How'd you get on that topic?"

"It was just as a joking thing at first! Like we were just fucking around and making up fake scenarios and shit, and then somewhere along the lines, shit got serious and… yeah, it's all downhill from there."

Sollux slumped and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Well… do you want to get married to him?" Aradia pressed.

"I-I… well…" Sollux stammered. He threw his hand out in frustration. "Man, I don't know! I didn't think I would have to think about this kind of shit until like… two? Three? Four years from now? I haven't even dropped the bomb on him yet!"

"What bomb?" Aradia prodded. Sollux shook his head, grimacing in discomfort.

"Uh… the 'L' bomb. You know…"

"That you love him…?"

Sollux's cheeks burst into flames and, completely flustered, he squirmed in his seat.

"Yeah."

"Has he told you that _he_ loves you?"

Sollux gnawed his lip and slowly nodded. Aradia gasped and tugged on his arm.

"_Sollux!_ Oh God, he's probably going through hell!"

"You think I don't know that?" Sollux snapped harsher than necessary. He relaxed and put his head in his hand. "Fuck, Aradia. It's so complicated. Like… ugh."

They sat quietly again, thinking to themselves. Aradia absently rubbed Sollux's arm, warming up his slightly chilled skin. Her brows were knitted together as if she was in deep thought. Deep down, Sollux admired her for it. They had only reunited maybe forty-five minutes ago, and already she was using her elite problem solving skills to help an old friend. Sollux felt his mood lift significantly at that thought.

"Well… whatever," Aradia said. She re-settled herself and leaned into Sollux. "Soooo...? What else do you wanna tell me?"

"What do you mean? Like, Eridan's personality or what? Well, he's a real asshole like I said, but when he's alone with me, he's seriously the biggest sweetheart on the face of the plan-"

"No, I don't care about that," Aradia interrupted dismissively. "I mean, how is he like _in bed? _Eh?"

Sollux's cheeks lit up again.

"Oh jeez… um… well…"

"Does he have a big… y'know?"

"Jesus Christ," Sollux groaned. "Uh… yeah, his dick's pretty nice."

"Is it as big as yours?"

"_Aradia!_" Sollux squawked. Aradia snickered.

"Oh man, I remember the first time we did it. Your dick _legit_ scared me," Aradia admitted, shaking her head. Sollux wondered, vaguely, if she had had something to drink as well. She seemed a lot more bold than he remembered.

"Why is everyone always so intimidated by my dick?" Sollux groaned.

"Don't even try to be modest, Sollux. We all know you're packing some _heat_ if you know what I mean," Aradia drawled with a giggle. She shoved Sollux's shoulder. "You are like… the exact description of a nerd who nobody expects to be hung like a horse, but you totally are _hung like a horse_."

"Ugh, whatever. Well, no matter how hung I am, Eridan doesn't want anything to do with it," Sollux muttered. Aradia cocked her head.

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't want to have sex! Well… not _full_ sex or whatever. More like… we do stuff, right? But there's no actual… well, there's no actual fucking involved!"

"Ooooh," Aradia trailed off, as if she had just discovered the answer to the universe and it had been right in front of her nose the whole time. "Is that why you haven't told him you love him yet?"

"I don't… I don't _know_ if I love him!" Sollux blurted, shutting his eyes for a second. There was silence, and he looked straight down at the ground, staring hard. Aradia grinned.

"You _do_ love him," she cooed.

"Aradia, shut up," Sollux warned. Aradia pushed up against him.

"You love him, Sollux. You are totally and completely and unironically head over heels for him, you big doofus."

"Aradia…"

"God, you're such a big, fat, stubborn Negative Ned," Aradia pouted. "C'mon. I can totally tell. Stop being so down on yourself for once and just trust your feelings. You've always had such a hard time with accepting one feeling over the other. Wouldn't it be nice to know something for _sure_ for once, instead of being so indecisive?"

Sollux gritted his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Fine," he growled. He took a deep, wavering breath. His next words came out almost inaudibly. "…I do."

"Louder," Aradia sang. Sollux's lip curled.

"I _do_," he insisted, louder.

"What's that?" Aradia teased.

"I do!" Sollux barked, irritated beyond belief. "I _love_ him to pieces, so will you get off my _fucking_ case about it?"

Sollux's cheeks flooded with color. Aradia put on a gigantic, shiteating grin.

"I _knew_ it."


	41. Chapter 41

[Chapter 41]

"Maybe that's why he doesn't want to have sex with you."

Still recovering from the mortifying words that had come out of his mouth, Sollux cleared his throat.

"You think so?" he asked weakly. Aradia nodded.

"It might be making him nervous, or unsure of how you feel about him. Especially if he tells you he loves you," Aradia half-scolded. "Poor guy."

"Hey, it's hard for me too, okay?" Sollux said defensively, eyebrows coming together a bit. "It's just… I don't know. It hurts a lot. He tells me he loves me like a million times a day, like whenever he can. And he always waits there for me to respond, and all I can manage is… 'I know'. It feels horrible."

Sollux bowed his head.

"What are you afraid of?" Aradia asked gingerly. "Hurting someone or getting hurt yourself?"

Sollux thought for a long time, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and practically chewing it to pieces. What _was_ he afraid of?

"You can tell _me_ that you love him," Aradia said slowly. "But you can't say it to his face. It's not a matter of being afraid of your own feelings, is it?"

Sollux traced his eyes along the cracks in the cobblestone walkway beneath his feet. He was quickly developing one of his stupid headaches again.

"No," Sollux admitted. He shook his head. "No. It's… it's never been a question of whether or not I love him, because I do. I guess it's… ugh…"

"Man, you have some crazy commitment issues," Aradia murmured. Ouch. Sollux felt the sting of those words deep in his chest, and he swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat.

"I know," Sollux said. His nose scrunched up a bit in disgust. "I can't subject him to… _that_. To _me_. Eridan hasn't had a single person in his life who stayed long enough to watch him fucking _do_ something with his life. Not his dad, not his fucking mom, not his stepmom, not even his best friend. And now he's depending on _me_ of all people to… to what? Love him like he fucking deserves? I'm not… who the fuck do I think I even am? I'm not some fucking angel or hero like he makes me out to be. I'm a shitty friend and boyfriend. God, I left him alone back at the dorm, told him not to wait up! I can't even make compromises in our fucking relationship, and-"

"Maybe you're his hero?" Aradia suggested. Sollux let out some sort of strangled choking sound full of skepticism and self-loathing.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sollux asked. He gestured to himself. "Eridan doesn't deserve this bullshit."

Aradia was quiet for a moment before she turned in her seat and brought her legs up onto the ledge of the fountain so she could criss-cross them.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure," Aradia said comfortingly. She patted Sollux's thigh. "Your definition of hero and his definition of hero could be two totally different things."

"I don't want him to get attached," Sollux whispered, shaking. "I don't want to hurt him when I have to leave him."

"Why would you have to leave him?" Aradia asked.

"I almost had to go back to Arizona with my uncle because he's short on cash," Sollux explained. He shook his head. "The only reason I'm still here is because Eridan is paying for my tuition."

"I see."

"All the signs point to nothing other than the fact that it's a doomed relationship," Sollux grumbled. "He so progressive. I sit around and do nothing. He's full of hope and dreams for his future. I don't give a shit about what happens to me. He wants a family that I don't want and can't have. He wants to get married and I want..."

Sollux tried to finish, but his words caught on his tongue and he shut his mouth.

"What do you want?" Aradia asked. Sollux picked angrily at a swollen hangnail.

"I think…" he trailed off. He bit the hangnail and drew blood, wincing. "I want it to just be a college relationship."

"Oh Sollux…" Aradia sighed as Sollux just snorted and smiled humorlessly.

"You're right. Commitment issues. Can't settle down. I'm not fucking worthy of a good relationship, much less a relationship with someone who's one tick away from perfect. Nothing good lasts forever, am I right? I'm just '_a disgusting faggot'_, aren't I? Mind if I smoke?"

Aradia shook her head, and Sollux nodded his thanks. He dug his cigarettes out of his pocket and lit up. He watched the glowing ashes at the end of the proverbial nail of the coffin. He offered Aradia a drag, but she shook her head no. They kept quiet, the mood tense and dark.

"Why are you still so sad?"

Sollux heard the hitch in her voice and he looked over to see he on the verge of tears, her bottom lip quivering. His jaw slacked and his cigarette bobbed between his lips. Aradia blinked hard.

"I've been so worried about you. And then I saw you, and you weren't so skinny anymore, and you didn't have big shadows under your eyes anymore, and you've been in a relationship for such a long time, and I thought you were happy, but you're still not happy," Aradia croaked waveringly. Sollux stared at her. "What can make you happy again?"

"Again?" Sollux echoed thoughtfully, mostly under his breath. He looked up at the stars again. "I don't know. Maybe if I just didn't exist anymore."

Aradia inhaled somewhat sharply, with a little strangled whimper at the end. Sollux kicked himself inwardly. He was hurting her, but he didn't stop.

"What would Eridan do if, one day, I decided to stop fighting a pointless battle?" Sollux mused. "Would he cry? Move on? Want to come with me?"

Sollux turned to face Aradia, whose eyes were watering but refusing to let go of the tears. Sollux smiled grimly.

"I'm in love, Aradia. I won't deny it in front of your face because you, of all people, deserve to know. I'm in love. A thousand, a million times over, I'm in love. But I'm still so, so, so fucking _tired_."

Sollux leaned in a little, eyes burning as hot as the ashes on the end of his cigarette.

"I don't make long-term promises because I don't how much more of this 'life' bullshit I can take."

He was hardly finished before Aradia flew into him, hugging him tightly around the neck. Sollux turned his head away a little to avoid setting her cherry-scented hair on fire with his cigarette. He put it out on the marble ledge behind him, then just sat there in Aradia's arms for a moment.

"Sollux, can you contact some sort of-" Aradia began in a shaking, pleading voice.

"And have them tell me the same thing?" Sollux murmured. "What do you think they'll tell me, Aradia? That it'll get better, and there's always a fucking green field of butterflies and flowers at the end of every desert? I've heard it all."

Sollux pulled Aradia away, holding her gently by the elbows.

"I've _experienced_ the greener grass. Eridan _does_ make me happy. Happy enough for me to actually give enough of a shit to get up in the morning. But I can't stop… hating myself," Sollux said, his face contorting a little with the words. "It's like… I'm happy on the outside, and my brain is happy, and my stomach is happy, which you can probably tell with the chub I've got going on."

Aradia didn't laugh.

"And my heart's happy, too," Sollux continued quietly. "But only part of it. The rest of it knows shit's going to hit the fan and everything that I've tried so hard to put back together is going to fall apart and I'll have nothing except for the knowledge that I, singlehandedly, broke Eridan all over again."

Sollux took a deep breath.

"And I can't let that happen."

Aradia stared at Sollux emptily, the spark in her eyes extinguished. Sollux gave her an apologetic upturn of his lips. Not quite a smile.

"I tried forcing myself into believing that I'm happy," Sollux said. "But it doesn't keep the bad dreams away, and it doesn't stop me from feeling sick to my stomach when I look in the mirror."

Aradia was absolutely silent.

"And that," Sollux muttered. "… is why I can't tell Eridan Ampora that I love him."

"I… don't know what to say," Aradia choked. Sollux shook his head and reached into his pocket to pull out another cigarette and light it up.

"You don't have to say anything," Sollux said. "It was just nice to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening to my terrible sob story."

Aradia reached out and put her hand over Sollux's, stopping him from lighting his cigarette. He looked at her, and her eyes had narrowed into an expression of determination.

"For a while, I thought I was going to transfer schools," she began. "You know why? My roommate. Vriska. Last year and during the summer and part of this year, she was a complete bitch to me. She harassed me, picked on me, and made me feel worthless and shitty. I wanted to disappear forever because I was so ashamed of myself. I hated what I looked like. I was so ready to transfer schools.

"And then I realized that I was worth more than that," Aradia said lowly, her expression turning into a glare. "I realized that, although I hated myself, I still had the drive and the motivation to stand up and move on. I realized that, if I transferred, I'd be letting the thing I hated _win_. So I went right up to Vriska and you know what I did? I beat the fucking shit out of her. I stood the fuck up and I pummeled her into the ground because you know what?

"I deserve better than to be stepped all over. My name is Aradia Megido, and I'm _worth it_."

"…You telling me to beat the shit out of life?" Sollux almost laughed. Aradia's eyebrows lowered even more.

"I'm telling you that it's so much more gratifying to win against the things that you hate instead of sitting down and letting yourself lose," Aradia corrected. Her gaze softened. "I made a best friend out of it, and a kickass roommate. If dumb, plain ol' me can do that, I think _you_ can make a better life for yourself, Sollux. I don't care how worthless or shitty you feel, I still believe in you."

Aradia reached out and, with a smile, took Sollux's hand in both of hers. She held it so softly, so gently, tracing the lines of his palm with her fingers.

"You're a lot stronger than you think," Aradia whispered. "Because you've made it this far. You didn't skip college. You got into a prestigious school. I saw you on the Dean's list, Sollux. I know you're not giving up on your classes. And not even in academics! You're so handsome, and deep down, you're really selfless! Deep down, you care about the people you love, and you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness for theirs. You're already so far in the right direction, Sollux. Why not take it upon yourself to take a couple steps more?"

Aradia beamed a smile at Sollux, that spark returning.

"I know what it's like to feel low, Sollux. Maybe not as much as you, but still. So I'll always be here for you. You can talk to me, scream at me, anything you want. I'll be your best friend for life, and we can have totally bromantic hugs, even. Well… if Equius allows it. The guy's still so protective of me! It's cute. I think I'll give dating him another try," Aradia said with a big cheesy wink that made Sollux's lips quirk just a tiny bit. "Anyway, point is, I'll always be here for you. I can't cure you or whatever. I mean, I'm a future archeologist! I'm no professional psychologist or whatever you want to call it. But I'll always be here to listen and hold your hand if you need me to."

Aradia leaned in and hugged Sollux as tight as she could. Sollux set his jaw tightly, fingers quivering as he lifted his arms to carefully embrace Aradia back.

"Don't be afraid to come to me. Ever. Because I love you, Sollux, and that will never change. You can depend on me. I mean, come on. Everyone needs a sassy fat ginger chick in their life, right? Of course I'm right. And you can be my sassy gay best friend for lifesies, okay?"

Sollux's fingertips dug into Aradia's shirt. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and nodded just a little.

"Thank you," he breathed, somewhat shyly. He tightened his hold. "_Thank_ you."

It was midnight by the time he came home with a single rose in hand like some romantic moron (but in all honesty, he had plucked it from the vase downstairs in the lobby while no one was looking). He found Eridan curled up on the couch with all of the lights still on and a book held loosely in his slack hands. He was fast asleep, of course, with the fleece throw entangled in his restless legs. Sollux went to him and bent over him to remove the book. Stroking a bang out of his face, Sollux gently roused him and knelt beside him. Eridan's eyes peeled open behind his glasses, which were digging into his nose and temples. He whined when Sollux pushed a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Sol?" he asked, blinking hard and rubbing his eyes. "Oh my Cod, what the fuck. You told me not to wait up, so why are you fuckin' wakin' me up?"

"I meant 'don't wait up' as in actually going to bed," Sollux lectured. Eridan wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes.

"Well, whatever. I'm sleepin' on the couch tonight anyway, so goodnight," Eridan huffed. He rolled onto his back, closed his eyes, and pouted (somehow).

"I brought you a rose," Sollux murmured, lifting the flower and tickling Eridan's lips with the petals.

"Man, what the fuck?" Eridan snapped, shoving the rose away and making a couple petals fall off of it. "Leave me alone and let me go back to sleep!"

Sollux reached out and cupped Eridan's cheek in his hand. He forced him to look him in the eye, and his lips pulled downwards into a frown.

"No," he said firmly. As Eridan stared up at him, his hand traveled down to Eridan's neck, to his chest. He was wearing one of Sollux's pajama shirts again. His hand kept moving down until it was at the hem of his shirt, which was hiked up just a little. He dipped his thumb underneath and rubbed the bare skin that was pulled taut over his hip bone. Eridan squirmed a little, ticklish.

"You're not mad at me?" Eridan finally asked, dropping his defenses for a moment. He was slightly breathless. Sollux's brows furrowed as he fervently shook his head.

"No, of course not," Sollux murmured. "I was angrier with myself than anything. And I'm sorry I left you here all alone. And on bad terms with me. I'm really sorry."

Sollux took Eridan's hand and pressed a long kiss to his palm.

"I was wrong, okay?"

"Okay," Eridan sighed, half dreamily and half exasperatedly. "I'm sorry for… for whatever. The marriage shit."

"No, no. It's fine. Shh-hh, only snuggling now," Sollux hushed. Eridan looked on in confusion as Sollux clambered up onto the couch and hovered over him on all fours.

"…Oh my Cod you're tryin' to seduce me on a school night," Eridan groaned, slapping his hands over his face as Sollux grinned widely down at him.

"I'm a little drunk," Sollux partially lied, as if it would up his chances of getting laid. He still doubted he would, but hey, why the fuck not?

"Ugh, get off. Holy shit," Eridan demanded.

"Here I come," Sollux sang warningly as he began lowering his body onto Eridan's.

"_Nooooo!_" Eridan wailed, his voice muffled when he was smothered by Sollux's chest. Sollux rutted weakly against him.

"Make up sex. It's fucking make up sex time, baby. Let's make it happen," Sollux growled, rolling his pelvis and basically humping Eridan's hip.

"_Sooool!_"

Sollux sat up and smiled down at Eridan, who snarled up at him. After a moment, though, his expression became soft as he ran his hands up and down Eridan's sides.

"No but seriously, Eridan, I'm sorry," Sollux apologized again. "For a lot of shit. Marriage and adoption is so far away from now so… let's cross that bridge when we get there, okay? I'd rather just enjoy what we have now for the time being."

Eridan perked up a bit.

"…Fair enough."

"I'm not making any promises," Sollux said, his face suddenly solemn. Eridan scoffed.

"Tch. Whatever. I always get my fuckin' way in the end, anyway."

Sollux blinked, then smiled a little.

"Yes, you always get your way."

Eridan gave him a curious look.

"Say, where'd you go, anyway?

"Out," Sollux answered. He continued hastily when Eridan scowled at him. "…with an old friend of mine. I went to a bar and had a couple drinks, and I saw her after I left. We just took a walk down to that one private college park. You know, the one downtown?"

Eridan nodded, looking a bit skeptical.

"We just caught up and stuff. Nothing special. We haven't seen each other in a long time, Eridan. You know I wouldn't… you know."

Eridan paused and, with a sigh, nodded his head.

"Fine. I'll let you off with a warnin'. Don't leave me alone again! I was fuckin' _bored!_"

Sollux smiled.

"Okay, I won't."

"Now…" Eridan sighed. He thought for a second, nibbling his lip. "Were you in the middle of somethin'?"

"Dude, you _just_ said that you weren't in the mood," Sollux groaned, but he chuckled a second later. "You want to now?"

"Why the fuck not? It's not like skippin' class is new to me," Eridan said, his voice getting progressively softer as Sollux bent back over him. Before he even finished his sentence, Sollux was on top of him again, lazily rolling his hips as his fingers knotted in Eridan's hair.

He had a lot on his mind. A lot to register, a lot to ponder and to analyze and sort out. But for now, under the roof of his and his boyfriend's dorm, their _home_, he found solace. There was peace and comfort to be found in Eridan's arms and his body. Sollux sought it out, starving for somewhere, something, that he could maybe, just _maybe_, believe in.

Maybe Aradia was right.

Sollux lied completely on top of Eridan, scooping his arms under his shoulder blades and kissing him hard. Toes curling in his socks and fingernails digging into shoulders, Sollux shivered at the sound of Eridan's pleasured moaning against his lips.

Maybe there were a few things left that Sollux could afford to live for.


	42. Chapter 42

**EDIT:: I FIXED THE TERRIBLE FUCKING TYPO OH YM GOD I AM LAUGHING SO HARD**

**DON'T MENTION THIS TO ANYONE EVERHEJKHEJKL**

[Chapter 42]

He took his shower like usual, leaving Sollux to stew in his own thoughts while he stretched out on Eridan's bed. His shirt had been taken off a while ago and it was currently residing somewhere out on the living room floor, where Eridan had torn it off and had bitten the shit out of his right pec.

Sollux was way past the point of teasing about the whole shower thing. Eridan had his own personal reasons - one of which being his obsessive need to use an enema before even thinking about any sort of sexual encounter, regardless of whether or not penetration was an option.

Which it never was.

But Sollux respected that. Didn't question it, even though he knew there was no need for Eridan to use it if they never even got close to any butt-touching. Sollux sighed. Damn. He could only imagine what Eridan would feel like. Tight, clenching, hot. A sweet virgin ass, just like he had always fantasized.

When the door opened, Sollux's head snapped up to see Eridan softly shutting the door behind him, looking embarrassed and ashamed of himself. However, that didn't stop him from reaching up to open his robe and let it slide off of his arms and onto the floor at his feet.

Sollux stared unabashedly, his breathing a little shallow. It was hard to look away, especially when Eridan had gone through the trouble of making a theatrical _show_ out of the easy task of taking off a fucking robe. Sollux drank him in greedily, admiring the way his hips and waist came together in a gentle curve, the stone-cut muscles of his abdomen, the vein on his neck that throbbed along to the violent pounding of his heart. It almost made Sollux feel self conscious himself, what with his belly a bit larger than he had intended when he first moved in with Eridan, and his bony joints that made him feel disproportionate.

But Eridan seemed to have the bashfulness already set, because the way he stood at the door looked uncomfortable. As if he had a stick up his ass. Well, he looked like that all the time, but now it was just pathetic.

"C'mere," Sollux purred, slipping to the edge of the bed and spreading his legs. He patted the bed for Eridan to sit down. Eridan jerked his head back and curled his lip as if disgusted, then made a point to walk _away_ from the bed and towards his dresser. Dejected, Sollux frowned after him. "What? Eridan, come on, what'd I do?"

"Nothin', just shut your loud mouth for a second," Eridan snapped, obviously flustered about something. He took a deep breath as he opened the top drawer of his dresser and hunched his shoulders. "Ugh. Oh Cod, I can't fuckin' do this. That's it, sexual adventures are done. I'm out."

With that, Eridan turned sharply on his heel and tried to abscond right out the door, but Sollux jumped up and stopped him with a hand on the center of his chest.

"What's wrong?" Sollux asked, voice dropping down into a low murmur. Eridan averted his eyes, glaring hard at the wall.

"Ugh. Just. Just get your fuckin' hand off'a me and go lay down," Eridan demanded, shrugging away and going back to the dresser. Utterly flabbergasted, Sollux went back to the bed and perched on its edge again, crossing his legs. Eridan let out a great heaving sigh and finally turned around, something small and cylinder-shaped clutched in his hand. Lube. _That was lube_. Sollux perked up.

"Now don't fuckin' flip your shit over this, but I think it's time we had a talk about how far we've progressed… sexually. Now, this ain't a-"

"Are you going to let me fuck you?" Sollux blurted loudly. In a blur of movement, the object in Eridan's hand rocketed across the room and hit Sollux in the shoulder. It ricocheted off of him (not without leaving a large circular red mark) and bounced harmlessly onto the bed. It _was_ lube.

"I _told_ you not to flip your shit," Eridan snarled. His expression softened. "Jesus fuckin' Christ. Sometimes, Sol. _Sometimes_. Anyway, um… no. Not tonight. I just wanted to uh… shit. Take another step. You know?"

"What kind of step?" Sollux asked, trying not to sound too eager. It didn't work too well. Eridan's cheeks lit up and he scratched his arm.

"Cod, uh…" Eridan trailed off. He groaned. "Let me just show you. It's fuckin' cold standin' here like a butt naked _moron_."

Eridan finally went to the bed and crawled onto the opposite side, careful to stay away from Sollux. He crawled under the comforter and hid under there, covering his head with the blanket. A sprout of purple stuck out and two sets of four fingers gripped the blanket.

"Don't get all shy on me," Sollux coaxed, reaching out and rubbing the lump of what he assumed to be Eridan's waist through the blanket. "C'mon, babe."

Sollux leaned down and kissed the fingers clutching the blanket over and over again until they wriggled under his lips.

It always took such a long time to get going when it came to sex. That was all thanks to Eridan caring way too much about sucking in his (non-existent) gut and adjusting his hair so it fell around his ears just right and licking his lips enough to keep them moist and stiffly holding his chin up to avoid… what? A double chin? He was easily discouraged by any face Sollux made, even if it was just a tiny twitch of his lips. It never even meant anything. As far as Sollux was concerned, nothing Eridan did could possibly make him any less attractive. Well. He could have probably covered himself in maggots and pig's blood and swing his dick around like fucking helicopter blades, but Eridan would never do that.

It never mattered in the end, anyway. Within minutes, he'd be on his back, writhing beneath Sollux as they moved, slick-skinned, against each other. His perspiring face would make countless expressions that would probably knock him out if he saw them himself. Some fucking gorgeous, some sexy, and yes, some ugly. But Sollux didn't give a shit.

There wasn't much sugarcoating when it came to gay sex, and Sollux could _not_ bring himself to give any more of a fuck about Eridan's outward appearance than he already gave. All that mattered was the way that Eridan rutted desperately against him, the way that he talked with the dirtiest mouth Sollux had _ever_ heard when he squeezed his dick in his hand, the way he clutched at Sollux's shoulders and added to the nice cluster of tiny scars that already resided there.

As long as his dick was happy, Sollux was a happy camper.

"Come under the blankets," Eridan mumbled, pulling the blankets tighter against his face.

"Jesus Christ," Sollux grunted, but he complied anyway. The moment he was underneath the blankets, Eridan's hands were fumbling at the button of his jeans.

"Gettin' a little plump, eh?" Eridan whispered, his face obscured in the darkness beneath the overbearingly hot blanket.

"Shut up, it's my winter coat," Sollux grumbled. There was a tiny giggle, and when cool hands slipped into his pants to grip at his (now slightly less bony) butt, he hissed and kissed Eridan's lips.

After a moment of open-mouthed kissing and heavy breathing and general sexiness, Eridan pushed Sollux's pants down and off of him. Sollux kicked them right out from underneath the blanket and welcomed Eridan's help in shoving his boxers down to his knees, then his ankles, then out to join Sollux's pants.

"Fuck," Sollux exhaled, jerking his hips forward a bit when Eridan took his dick into his chilled hands and began stroking in time to Sollux's breathing. It began to stiffen almost immediately, and Sollux let out a low groan as he practically laid himself down onto top of Eridan and kissed him again.

His lips dragged across Eridan's cheek and down his jaw and to his neck. He kissed the slightly sweaty flesh there, suckled it, traced the protruding, throbbing vein with the very tip of his tongue. He could tell Eridan's heart was beating hard within the confines of his ribcage.

So he did what any logical man would do. He sank his teeth into the crook of Eridan's shoulder.

"Easy!" Eridan hissed. He gently tugged at Sollux's hair. "…Easy."

Sollux kissed the now reddened and abused skin in a silent apology, his tongue darting out to lap up the bit of saliva he left there. All the while, Eridan stroked him in one hand and dug his fingers into Sollux's scalp with the other.

"Let me fuck you," Sollux breathed into Eridan's ear. Eridan shuddered heavily as Sollux's tongue traced the outer edge of his ear. "Please? I'll be gentle. I want you so bad."

He ground his hips into Eridan's for emphasis, eliciting a cry from him. Okay, so Sollux was probably milking the blinding lust just a tad, but most of it was real. He ached for the suffocating push and pull sensation of tight muscle around him, the spasms of an orgasm right up against his skin, Eridan's voice screaming his name.

"I'm sorry," Eridan replied. He was shaking. "Not yet, okay?"

Sollux let out a sigh and Eridan wrapped his arms around his neck, chanting apology after apology in his ear. Sollux pulled him away and sat up a little, his lips upturned.

"Don't apologize, it's okay."

Eridan whispered Sollux's name and they kissed again, the blanket above them shifting and rustling against them. After a while, Eridan rolled them both onto their sides, then flipped onto his back.

"What are you doing?" Sollux asked, his voice low and drawn out and lazy after their heavy kissing. He heard the pop of a cap, and in the dim light, he saw Eridan coating his index and middle finger of his right hand in lubricant. Sollux went silent and watched him, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

He lifted his legs and spread them, tenting the blanket. Sollux gulped as Eridan's hand dipped between his thighs and slid down lower. Eridan's entire body went rigid, and his lips parted the moment he began touching himself. Sollux reached down to join him, but Eridan snapped at him and slapped his hand away.

"Keep your fuckin' hands off," Eridan hissed. "I'll tell you when you can touch."

He looked like he was going to scold Sollux more, but he appeared to have struck some sort of nerve. His body jumped and he arched his back off the mattress, the vein in his neck bouncing erratically. Sollux stroked his chest and palmed his nipple, which hardened instantly under his hand.

Eridan's free hand shot up and grabbed Sollux's wrist, then shoved it down to his abdomen, just above his groin. Picking up on the hint, Sollux ran his hand back and forth, just barely tickling the stretch of extremely sensitive skin. Eridan's hips jolted again, and he let out a choked groan as a few beads of precum slid down his shaft and pooled in the curls rung around the base of his cock.

"Damn," Sollux panted, stopping his ministrations for just a moment to allow Eridan to catch his breath. During that time, he grabbed Eridan's glasses off of his face and tossed them aside, then slipped his own off of his nose.

Eridan let out a squeak and cursed, chomping down on his lower lip as he continued to finger himself. Sollux grinned and stroked Eridan's bangs out of his face so he could kiss his temple.

"Plug in my iPod," Eridan whimpered, his body flexing again as he rode out a wave of pleasure. Sollux wondered how close he was.

"I'm not getting up," Sollux teased.

"Oh my _Coooood_," Eridan moaned, draping his free elbow over his eyes. Eridan sure hated the sound of his own voice. It was strange, because Eridan didn't sound too ridiculous when he moaned. Well, of course there was the occasional whine or high-pitched sigh, but for the most part 'sex noises' for him consisted of grunt, grunt, groan, moan, sharp gasp, squeal, sigh, and finish.

…Whereas Sollux had a problem with keeping his voice in the octave of a man's.

Eridan choked out Sollux's name again and Sollux was ripped from his absentminded thoughts. Eridan's hand was withdrawing from between his legs, and Sollux immediately took the initiative and ran his hand down Eridan's abdomen and passed his straining erection and dipped down into a place he had only dreamt about for the past umpteen months.

"Ohhh _fffuck_," Eridan growled, bucking up into Sollux's fingers. He was still slick with lubricant, and without much warning, Sollux slipped his middle finger inside, all the way to his knuckle.

Fuck fuck _fuck_, he was tighter than hell and hot and wet and smooth and perfect. Biting back a groan so he could listen to Eridan's shallow panting and gasping, Sollux curled his finger inside and prodded every centimeter of the inside walls in search of the perfect angle of penetration for future reference. When he thought Eridan was relaxed enough, he pulled out almost all the way to add another finger to the mix.

"Sol?" Eridan asked in alarm, clenching against the tip of Sollux's finger as he sat up a little. Sollux just eased him back down onto the pillow under his head.

"It won't hurt," Sollux said comfortingly. Eridan shivered but allowed himself to relax and let his eyes slide shut. Sollux reached way up to lay his fingers over Eridan's throat. He pressed his thumb into the hollow of Eridan's throat and massaged, making Eridan's head tip back and his moans come out in a garbled mess. While Eridan was distracted, he pushed both fingers inside.

"_Shit!_" Eridan barked, fisting the sheets and snapping his hips upwards. Sollux kept his fingers wrapped around Eridan's throat as he slowly slid his fingers in and out. He curled his fingers a bit more powerfully with each stroke.

Feeling bold, he leaned forward and ran his tongue up the length of Eridan's dick, which had softened a bit and was lying flat on his stomach. The response was instantaneous, and when Sollux ran his tongue up the shaft a second time, it was already hardening.

And then, out of nowhere, Eridan thrashed hard and let out a sob-slash-cry. _Found it_. Sollux curled his finger against the knot of nerves again and again, each time going a little harder, a little more drawn out. Eridan's fingernails raked over the blankets and dug in hard, and in response, Sollux placed heavy, open-mouthed kisses all up and down his shaft.

"Sol," Eridan snarled. Sollux felt fingers tangle in his hair and yank. He came up with a gasp, string of saliva still connected between his lips and Eridan's cock. He squinted up at Eridan to see his face contorted into an expression that was nothing short of a look one would see on a wild animal. "Get your _fuckin'_ ass up here."

Sometimes during sex, some sort of switch got flipped and things would rapidly descend from sweet, tender, shit-you'd-see-in-a-romcom lovemaking to full out animalistic fucking. Somehow, Sollux always ended up with fresh scars to add to his collection on his shoulders, Eridan always had to make sure his neck was extra covered after Sollux bruised the fuck out of it with his lips and teeth, and there was always a slight hobble in both of their steps afterwards because of the angry snapping of hips.

Sollux pulled his fingers out of Eridan and allowed himself to be dragged up by the hair and pulled flush against Eridan's body. Burning erections, dripping and throbbing with arousal, pressed against the other. Setting his jaw into a grimace of concentration, Sollux braced his body up above Eridan with a hand planted firmly on either side of his upper ribcage, just under his armpits. A bead of sweat dripped down from his forehead to Eridan's upper lip. Eridan spluttered and blew it off, scowling.

"You're fuckin' _disgustin'_," Eridan rasped. Sollux moved his hips forward, making both of them hiss.

"You'll be sweaty too, soon enough," Sollux spat back. A slowly smile formed on Eridan's lips, and his lithe arms slowly came up to wrap around Sollux's forearms. His hands rested on his triceps.

"Show me what you've got," Eridan breathed. He rotated his hips and Sollux felt a deep shudder run up the length of his spine. "Sol…_lux_."

Sollux thrust his hips forward hard and fast, not even bothering to start out slow. Eridan coughed out a tiny hiccup of a laugh before his voice cut off into a long moan. The more Eridan moaned or cried out, the faster Sollux went, and the harder Eridan bounced up to meet him.

It was clumsy and not very matched or organized, but there wasn't much to be expected from simple frotting. Sollux longed to shove himself inside, but was not too keen on the idea of losing Eridan's trust. So he ground their dicks together as hard as he could, making a complete mess out of his and Eridan's stomachs.

"Ooohhhh my _Co_- ah! _Ah!_" Eridan whined, arching his back and thrashing his head to the side. His lips found his own arm, which he viciously bit into. His eyes, completely glazed over and slightly out of focus, rolled into the back of his head as he let out muffled gasps and moans with each thrust.

Sweat ran down Sollux's back in rivulets, soaking the blanket that was still draped over him. When he couldn't take it anymore, he kicked the blankets off of them and dropped his head down so the tips of his bangs grazed across Eridan's heaving chest. Eridan let out a whimper and Sollux looked up to see him pull away from his arm, which had been bitten so hard that it was bleeding. Sollux came crashing down then, lips slamming into Eridan's, kissing him until they were both gasping and coughing for air.

"_Faster_," Eridan begged, clamping his thighs around Sollux's hips and squeezing hard. His arms flew up and wrapped tightly around his neck, preventing Sollux from going anywhere. Sollux's movements grew shallow, and the bed began to creak as he fought to keep his hips moving as fast as he possibly could.

Already, he was feeling the tug of an orgasm deep inside of him, rushing through his veins, his sweat no longer able to keep him cool. His thoughts became muddled and meaningless, and the only thing that mattered was Eridan's nails clawing his skin, shredding his shoulder blades and dragging streaks of blood through pools of blood, Eridan's voice, Eridan's cock sliding faster and faster and hotter and hotter against his, skin slapping skin, testicles crushed up against testicles.

Sollux tore away from their kiss with a ferocious snarl, tossing his head back to let out a howl-gone-moan, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling it until a few strands tore and Eridan hissed at him and craned his neck to bite down on the crook of his neck.

When Sollux reached between them and shoved the tips of his fingers into Eridan's hole (couldn't get his fingers in very far, considering the awkward angle), Eridan threw his head down onto and yelled out a string of profanities, apparently not caring if the next door neighbors heard. They were borderline hatefucking now, passionate yet cruel and adoring yet hard and fast and breathless, two lustful men who couldn't quite figure out what was left and right or up or down or even how to breathe, only focused on one thing, the man above or below him, unable to form complete sentences, nothing making sense, only the heat of two men frantically, desperately, pleadingly in love, can't breathe, can't see, nothing else to feel except the growing tension growing and growing in their bodies and nothing made sense anymore, life was just one huge mess and there was no means of describing it and-

Sollux came with a suffocated sob, thick ropes of cum spattering their stomachs and chests. Sollux sat up immediately, determined to have Eridan cum with him, and pumped both of their cocks together. With the new angle, he thrust his fingers deep inside of Eridan, cutting off all of his breathing. And a second later, Eridan came as well, before Sollux was even finished with his orgasm. His hand joined Sollux's at their joined penises and helped him ride both of their orgasms out.

"I love you," Eridan panted hoarsely between moans. He said it again and again, chanting it until it was just a slurred mess between his lips. All Sollux did was continue stroking them, watching their hands milk them dry.

When the stimulation was too much, Eridan begged for Sollux to stop. Sollux exhaled the breath he didn't know he had been holding and slumped forward, landing on top of Eridan and burying his face in his shoulder. Whimpers were coming out of his throat uncontrollably as he fought to rearrange his thoughts and take back control in his limbs.

"Cod… the sounds you make…" Eridan panted, combing his fingers through Sollux's hair with his free hand. "You're so fuckin' cute an'… an' _sexy_. Jesus."

"Fuck off," Sollux snapped. He moaned again when Eridan's hand walked down his damp back and grabbed a handful of his ass.

"You know," Eridan purred in his ear. "I wouldn't be opposed to fuckin' _you_."

Sollux didn't say anything, but yelped and bit his lower lip when Eridan's hand met his ass cheek with a sharp _smack. _

"Why should I trust you to fuck me when you can't trust me?" Sollux asked, raising his head to stare evenly down at Eridan. When Eridan didn't answer, Sollux sighed. "We just had sex, Eridan, can we just…"

Eridan rolled and flipped Sollux onto his back. Holding himself halfway up with his elbow, he reached down and palmed Sollux's now completely flaccid dick, stroking insistently. Sollux shifted on the mattress and naturally spread his legs when Eridan cupped his balls and teased them.

"Just think about it," Eridan murmured, stooping his head to kiss Sollux's cheek. "I'm not askin' for an answer tonight."

"Okay," Sollux whispered without arguing. With that, Eridan released him and withdrew from him for a moment to get the blankets. He pulled the blankets up and over them both. Toasty and drowsy with sex, Sollux yawned and rolled onto his side. Immediately, Eridan sidled up behind him and pressed in close, his broader and more toned body easily spooning around Sollux's. His arm draped over Sollux's waist and his hips pressed up into his. Sollux gasped and shivered a little when he felt Eridan's length nestle against his ass. Cheeks heating up in the darkness, Sollux buried his face in the pillow. Eridan didn't notice, as he had already snuggled in behind Sollux and had drifted to sleep.

Sollux fisted the corner of the pillow and pushed his hips back a little, eliciting a sleepy, semi-conscious groan from Eridan. He squeezed his eyes shut.

The proposition of Eridan fucking _him_ left him restless, upset, and more than a little confused. It made him angry, almost, how he couldn't stop his hips from pushing back into Eridan's, that he enjoyed Eridan's arm around him rather than his arm around Eridan, that he felt safe there, in that bed, in Eridan's dorm, far away from Kenneth or anyone that could hurt him.

But what pissed him off the most was that, even though he truly wanted it, he knew his subconscious wouldn't let him have it.


	43. Chapter 43

[Chapter 43]

The following morning, Sollux was the first one up, due to a particularly uncomfortable cold sweat he was sporting. He sat up with a groan, wincing against the dull ache in his entire body. Waveringly, he slipped out of bed and hobbled to the door, letting Eridan snooze for a bit more.

Based on the slight darkness of the living area, it was still early morning. Grumbling, Sollux scratched his hip and went to the bathroom, where he took a piss and straightened out his messy bed hair as best as he could. He warily eyed his toothbrush before deciding against it. He had kind of a dry, nasty taste in his mouth and mint toothpaste didn't sound very appealing. He came back out to the living room, still feeling drowsy with a weird heaviness in his limbs.

He went to the guest bedroom and pulled together a half-assed outfit for the day (he didn't feel like wearing anything that would smash his balls, i.e. a pair of skinny jeans) that consisted of a pair of sweatpants and one of his baggy shirts. After he was dressed enough to go outside to have a morning cigarette, he shuffled his way to the front door and slipped into his jacket and Eridan's manflops. From there, he left the dorm and shut the door quietly behind him. Yawning, Sollux pulled out his box of cigarettes from his jacket pocket and turned towards the elevator.

But came face to face with a young-looking man with shockingly white hair and fiery scarlet eyes. He was dressed in nothing but a dark forest green robe.

"Holy fucking shi-" Sollux gasped, jumping hard and shutting his eyes for a second. "Christ. Sorry. You scared me."

"You scared me, too, you bloody _tosser_, with your infernal racket last night at the hour of half past one!" the guy shouted in such a thick British accent that Sollux could barely understand him. Sollux lifted his hands in self defense.

"Whoa. Shit, man, I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm saying! Explain yourself at once!"

"Brother, brother!" a British female voice called from the door at which the crazy British guy was standing. The door flew open a second later, and a girl flew out with equally white hair and equally red eyes. She looked a little cleaner, with a clover green pleated skirt and a light green blouse. She also wore a red tie, which was tucked under a clean-pressed green dress jacket. She looked like a Leprechaun, what with the black Mary Jane shoes and the -you guessed it- green knee socks.

Sollux was pretty sure he was tripping balls.

"Dude," Sollux grunted, holding his head in his hand. "Am I high right now?"

"Salutations!" the girl said, bounding up to Sollux and smiling widely up at him. "My name is Ulla Umbra, and this is my brother, Ulrich. We're twins, all the way here from London! It's a pleasure to meet you!"

Ulla extended her hand towards Sollux and waited patiently. Hesitantly, Sollux took her hand and gave it a weak shake. He wondered if he was still dreaming. He felt drowsy and hazy enough to be hallucinating.

"Quit touching his disgusting hand!" Ulrich exploded quite suddenly. Sollux jumped again and snatched his hand away. Ulrich stomped forward and shoved his middle finger in Sollux's face. "In case you're wondering, yes! We're albino, rich, and way higher on the social caste compared to you! So _sod off!_"

Ulrich sniffed huffily at Sollux, turned on his heel, and marched back into his dorm. He slammed the door behind him. Ulla smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, my brother can be quite the grump sometimes. Trust me, though, he's much better after our tea and biscuits!"

"I see," Sollux said. Ulla gasped.

"I apologize, how rude of me! Would you like to come in for tea?" Ulla asked politely. Sollux laughed nervously.

"I was… actually… just planning to go outside for a smoke… sorry...?" Sollux stammered. Ulla shook her head.

"That's fine, sir!"

"…You can call me Sollux."

"Sollux, then! Yes. It seems that we will be neighbors from now on! I must go now. I have to prepare for my first day of class! Kisses!"

Ulla blew Sollux a kiss and bounced back into her dorm, casting the hallway into silence.

"Jesus fucking Christ. Fucking weirdass freshmen."

* * *

><p>Grumbling, Sollux adjusted the bag strap on his aching shoulder. No matter how much he had complained to Eridan about his sore ass and legs and entire body, no matter how much he ranted and raved about the weird albino twins next door (which Eridan replied with 'Sol, if you've been smokin' weed, I'm goin' to fuckin' punt you right outta this dorm'), and no matter how many sweet nothings he had whispered, Eridan had forced him to take a shower and go to class. Miserable and feeling a little woozy, Sollux made his way up the stone steps of his class building and down the hall to the lecture hall.<p>

He didn't admit it, but one of the main reasons he didn't want to go Advanced Calculus was because that was the class in which Karkat sat next to him. Nuh-uh. Sollux didn't want to deal with that. So he ended up making himself as inconspicuous as possible, with his hooded sweatshirt (a forest green hoodie with a picture of a black skull mask on the front) and his gray sweatpants and _Vans_. His hood was pulled up and over his head, and his sweatpants rode so low on his ass that it provided a nice view of his bumblebee boxers. Surprisingly, he still felt a little chilly, which was particularly strange. He didn't give a fuck, though, and continued his shuffling down the hall in the black and white shoes that he didn't even bother tying that morning.

He groped his way up the set of stairs in the lecture hall once he got there, finding his usual seat in the corner at the top. There, he set his bag down beside his wheelie chair and just flopped forward onto the table. Hopefully, he would be able to catch a wink of sleep before-

"Wow. Every time I see you, you seem to give less and less of a shit."

Sollux groaned and sat up to peer up at Karkat, who grimaced back down at him with his usual look of disdain. He sat down in his chair beside Sollux and began unpacking the things he'd need for the class.

"You look rough. Long night?" Karkat asked coolly. Sollux put his head back down in his folded arms.

"Yep," he answered, just as short. He over-enunciated the 'p'. Karkat sighed beside him and said nothing more.

Until about five seconds later, when he jabbed Sollux in the ribcage with his elbow.

"Ow! What the shit, KK?" Sollux blurted, not thinking much about reverting back to an old nickname. He sat up and noticed that, apparently, Karkat didn't care either. He was staring, wide-eyed, down at something at the front of the lecture hall.

"Who. The fuck. Is that?" he rasped. Sollux squinted.

"Who?"

"Her," Karkat breathed, pointing. Sollux followed his finger to-

"Oh my God," Sollux snorted. "No fucking way. No, man. Terezi?"

Down below, Terezi stood before Professor Slick, who had just walked in. He looked particularly grumpy, but Terezi didn't seem to mind. She just stood there, her hip popped in her crazy teal skinny jeans and her tight black shirt that hugged her curves and made her cleavage stick out like a sore thumb. Her gaudy red shades completed her fashionably moronic look, and Sollux wrinkled his nose.

"No dude, she's fucking out of her mind," Sollux said. Karkat's eyelids lowered as he planted his chin in the palm of his hand and propped himself up on his elbow. "Man… Karkat, come on, she's… dude. Bro. Come on."

"Her ass is fucking brilliant. Like, if I were to take all of the hot chick asses in the world, combine them into one gigantic fucking smokin' hot ass, then condense it, _her_ ass would still be better," Karkat raved, staring unabashedly. "God, just look at her."

"Ugh, no. Eridan's always going on about how she has this huge thing for my friend Dave, who like… just no, man," Sollux argued, getting more and more frustrated by the second. Karkat flashed him a steely glare.

"What? Do you still have a thing for me? Is that why you're trying so damn hard to stop me from da-"

There was a flurry of movement, the sound of something rushing through the air, and the crack of knuckle meeting face.

Sollux stood over Karkat, fists raised, eyes wild, his glasses nearly knocked off of his nose. Karkat had almost been punched right out of his seat, but he had managed to catch himself on the desk just in time.

Surprisingly, nobody seemed to notice (thanks to Terezi wasting time with Slick, everyone in class had gotten rowdy), so Sollux grabbed his bag and sprinted out of the class. Nobody noticed him, and he thanked his attire for that. He ran right out of the hallway, then out of the building. Stopping to catch his breath when he got to the end of the sidewalk, he groaned and set his bag down by his feet. Well _shit_. Now he was going to have to explain to Eridan why he was skipping class, or-

Out of nowhere, something small and hot barreled into him from behind, knocking him to the ground. Together, he and his assailant went rolling all over the grass, shouting and punching and tearing and possibly biting, but Sollux was a little too preoccupied to figure out what scratches came from where.

And when he realized it was Karkat, the fighting increased tenfold, and soon Sollux's glasses were nowhere to be found. Their phones had fallen out of their pockets. Their shirts were practically hiked up to their ribcages.

And yet Sollux fought, he fought and he fought, tearing and punching and slapping as hard as he fucking could. Emotions from nearly a year ago came tearing out of him like some sort of wild animal. Pain, hate, longing, love, desperation. It all came flying back at once.

So, like any man would, he burst into tears.

He didn't realize that he had straddled Karkat and was mercilessly beating him to a pulp, his own fists turning scarlet with both his and Karkat's blood. He didn't realize that Karkat had stopped hitting, had raised his hands up in defense, had blocked his nose, which was bleeding profusely.

Hands grabbed him. Pulled him up, still thrashing, tears still pouring down his face, angry, angry, hateful, vengeful, angry, furious, angry tears that contained a lot more than the pain of a lost friendship.

Gay, lonely, no friends, lacking the support he needed, there's a boyfriend but not a best friend, someone he can depend on, his aching heart, his uncle, mentally ill, suicidal. Suicidal, suicidal, suicidal.

And Karkat hadn't been there for a fucking second of it.

He ripped away from the hands holding him back and ran. Grabbed his laptop bag, didn't glance over his shoulder. He ran, vaguely hearing but not registering the words _'it's fine, I'm fine, don't chase after him, I've got it under control'_.

* * *

><p>There was a slam and Sollux stumbled into the dorm, panting hard. Eridan, who was sitting in the armchair in the living room with a book, looked up with a start. Apparently there was a lot of blood on his face and hands, because Eridan let out some sort of choked yell-scream, jumped up, and went to him.<p>

Sollux didn't even get a chance to calm down his heartbeat before he doubled over and just held his head in his hands. He felt supporting hands on his shoulders, but it was barely enough to keep him up.

"What happened?" Eridan exclaimed over Sollux's moaning, which quickly ascended into sobs. "Oh my Cod, you fuckin'… get up!"

With a big grunt, Eridan hoisted Sollux up into a standing position and slung an arm over his shoulder. He half-dragged, half-carried Sollux to the bathroom, where he bent him over the sink and ran water.

"What fuckin' ha-" Eridan began, but Sollux's body pitched forward and his eyes widened.

"M'gon' puke," he warned almost incoherently. Eridan all but threw Sollux's body to the side. He was just able to get Sollux over the toilet before he was falling to his knees and dry-heaving, nothing coming out except a few spurts of bile.

"Jesus _Christ_, Sol," Eridan sighed. Sollux panted heavily and shut his eyes, sweat dripping from his brow, mouth hanging open with saliva dripping from his lips and mucus from his nose. Not the prettiest of sights in the least bit, but Eridan stayed beside him, gently combing his hair back and holding it for him, his fingertips cool and comforting against his forehead.

"Guh," Sollux groaned, spitting a couple times to get the foul taste out of his mouth. "Fuck."

"Can you stand now?"

Sollux paused, spit again, then nodded.

"Okay. Flush the toilet. I'm goin'ta count to three, an' then I'll help you up, but you gotta help me, too. Got it?"

Sollux nodded again, hardly able to keep his head up. He flushed the toilet and shifted on his knees so he was in a position to stand.

"Alright. One, two, an' three."

Eridan aided Sollux in hauling himself to his feet, then they both moved back over to the sink. Eridan bent him down again.

"Rinse your mouth out while the water's still cold," he murmured. Sollux obeyed, cupping his hands under the water and sucking it loudly and messily into his mouth. He swished it around and spat it back out, but not without a massive shiver and a disgusted sound at the taste.

"Fucking sick, oh my God," Sollux complained weakly. Eridan snorted.

"Yeah? At least you didn't have to watch it or smell it."

Sollux rinsed again and again until the taste was out, and then Eridan held a wad of toilet paper under his nose.

"Blow."

Sollux did, and was rewarded with the feel of vomit in his nose and mouth again. He gagged and his body lurched again, but only a couple coughs and phlegm made it out of him. Eridan made a repulsed noise from behind, pinched Sollux's nose to get the gunk out, then tossed the wad into the toilet.

"Better?" he asked. Sollux nodded.

After that Eridan made him brush his teeth, then came some light dabbing with a warm, wet washcloth across his face to get rid of the sweat and blood (he hadn't gotten much more than a scratch on his chin and a scrape on the underside of his jaw). Most of it had come from Karkat, though, and it made Sollux dizzy to watch Eridan clean his knuckles and hands. He had to rinse out the washcloth at least four times to get it all off, and by the end, Sollux wanted to just curl up in a ball somewhere and die.

"What, for the love of all that is holy, happened?" Eridan asked a final time, staring up into Sollux's eyes. "Bullies?"

"Karkat."

Silence.

"…Oh," Eridan whispered. Sollux shut his eyes as his brows creased.

"I don't know what fucking happened. One second I was in class, talking to Karkat, even in a friendly way and the next… the next I was here, and covered in blood, and…" Sollux trailed off. He shook violently, bringing his hands up to cover his face. "And I think I had some sort of episode, like I don't even know how I got here, Eridan, and I can't think thtraight, I'm tho thcared, I can't-"

"Sol, calm the fuck down," Eridan commanded. Sollux whimpered and slumped a little to the right. Eridan steadied him with his hands. "I can't understand what happened if you're just goin' to mumble to yourself, okay? So suck it up for at least a few seconds so I can actually hear you."

"I think I beat the thshit out of KK," Sollux sniffled, reaching up to wipe his eyes. "But it'th hard to remember, it'th all blurry, and I'm thcared that it'th the thchizo."

"Schizo? Why the fuck would it be that?"

"My th-thychiatritht thaid that it'th pothhible that I could have weird epithodeth, and I don't know if I jutht had one, I don't know, I can't…"

"Sol," Eridan said firmly. Sollux struggled to see Eridan through his tears. "You're just freakin' the fuck out. You'll remember it once you calm down, so just relax! You're psychin' yourself out!"

"I'm thorry, I can't help it, I can't," Sollux wept. He gritted his teeth. "I hate myself, I'm fucking crazy, I'm out of my fucking mind, I'm a fucking _thycho!_"

"You're not a psycho, for fuck's sake. An' you don't hate yourself," Eridan sighed. Sollux hugged himself and hung his head, tears dripping off the end of his nose. "Just calm down, Sol. You're expectin' shit to happen and it's not happenin' because it's not fuckin' real, you're just imaginin' things. Trust me, Sol. I used to think a lot of shit was wrong with me, too."

Sollux looked up, eyebrows wrinkled in questioning, and Eridan grinned a little.

"You learn a lot about psychin' yourself out when you don't have parents who give enough of a shit to take you to a psychiatrist," Eridan muttered. Sollux stared blankly at him, wetness still at the corner of his eyes. "It's hard to learn how to discern between a serious illness an' somethin' you made up outta fear and spite, but it's possible if there's enough pressure to do so."

"Eridan, you-" Sollux began, but Eridan shook his head.

"Not now," he said. "Calmed down a bit?"

Sollux nodded.

"Okay. We're gonna go to the couch, an' you're just gonna chill there, okay? No computer. Just rest. An' if you're good, I'll turn on the T.V."

"I don't want to watch the His-"

"You bet your scrawny ass we'll be watchin' the History channel," Eridan snapped. "You look like fuckin' hell. Anythin' to put you to sleep, you stupid night owl. You need more sleep. Did you seriously feel sick this mornin'?"

"Maybe a little achy," Sollux said, shrugging. Eridan raised an eyebrow. "Okay, yeah, I felt like shit all day today."

Sollux wiped the tear streaks from his cheeks with his sleeves, feeling a little embarrassed. As he did so, Eridan reached up and cupped his hand on Sollux's forehead. He sighed.

"Yeah. You know, I bet'chya got the flu that's goin' around," Eridan said, nodding. "You're a little warm."

"I feel cold. And sweaty."

"Yes, thank you, Doctor, I understand how the flu works," Eridan huffed. Sollux laughed weakly. "C'mon. Couch. Now."

Eridan led Sollux to the couch in the living room and helped ease him down onto it. When Sollux was situated, Eridan went to the guest bedroom and came back out with an armful of blankets. He laid them over Sollux and even tucked him in. Satisfied, Eridan knelt down beside Sollux and just watched him blankly, reaching up to stroke his hair back behind his ears.

"We ought to get Kan to come in and cut our hair again, what do'ya think?" Eridan asked. "When you feel better, would you like that?"

Sollux nodded and Eridan's hand paused on the side of his head, thumbing his temple.

"I'm sorry I didn't let you stay home today. I thought you were fakin' shit just to get out of class," Eridan whispered. Sollux shrugged.

"I used to do it all the time at school so I could just skip for the day. Go to the arcade or something. Beat some sicknasty hi-scores."

Eridan chuckled: a low, comforting chuckle. It made Sollux smile a little.

"Do you remember what happened now?" Eridan asked after a moment of just petting Sollux's hair. Sollux thought for a second.

"Yeah. I remember."

"It's was just your flu makin' things all hazy," Eridan soothed. "Nothin' to get so worked up about, you little crybaby."

"Hey…" Sollux slurred, blinking slowly as his lips pulled up into what was supposed to be a smile. It ended up just looking dumb. "Don't judge me. I can cry if I want to."

"Mhmhm," Eridan hum-chuckled again. He leaned forward and pressed a long kiss to Sollux's slightly damp forehead.

When he pulled away, Sollux's eyes closed and didn't open again.


	44. IMPORTANT NOTICE

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Because of FFnet's new policy, A Lesson Before Striding, my current DirkJake fic, has been taken down from FFnet. I am scrambling to get this slight setback under control. In the meantime, **I am moving OHAC STRICTLY to tumblr.**

**I AM MOVING OHAC**

_**STRICTLY**_

**TO TUMBLR**

Just for the time being. In case any of you didn't see it**, I AM MOVING OHAC STRICTLY TO TUMBLR** for the time being.

And private messages, reviews, or asks on tumblr on this matter will be ignored. So please, for the love of god, pay attention.

As many of you know, OHAC was in discontinued status for a while due to a slight issue on my end, which has been cleared up now. OHAC will continue as soon as possible, but do NOT ask me when. I have gotten enough questions about this, and I do not need further irritation right now.

**I AM MOVING OHAC STRICTLY TO TUMBLR FOR THE TIME BEING**: EDIT:: FUCK THIS FUCKING WEBSITE. JUST SEARCH "OHACUPDATES" IN GOOGLE SEARCH **_WITH_ **THE QUOTATIONS AROUND IT AND YOU'LL FIND IT. FIRST LINK.

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

If you have trouble with it, private message me. You do NOT have to be a member on tumblr to read the fanfiction.

Again, tumblr is the ONLY place you will find OHAC from now on. FFnet obviously has no respect for authors on this website, and can't even bother to send an individual warning message before ripping down a fanfiction that they worked hard on. So now I have to contact all the ALBSTRI readers and make sure they know what's going on.


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